WWF TNT- February 14, 1986
by Scrooge McSuck
- Hosted by Vince McMahon, with co-host Lord Alfred Hayes. This week, Vince's guests will be Intercontinental Champion TITO SANTANA (wrong), "Leaping" Lanny Poffo, Captain Lou Albano, The Magnificent Muraco, Mr. Fuji, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, and Elizabeth. It sounds like we're going to get another look at the exploits of Mr. Muraco trying to make it in Hollywood, and that makes me very happy.
Guest #1: Captain Lou Albano
You know, we're only 7 episodes into the 1986 run of T.N.T., and I feel like Albano has appeared on practically all of them. What did he do, just hang around the studio, drinking all day? That was meant to be rhetorical, but feel free to answer it in your mind if it pleases you. Now that I think about it, I wonder what the taping cycle was like for TNT. Did they do it one show at a time, two, or just a whole bunch of stuff marathon-style like their syndicated programming. Albano's wardrobe isn't much of a clue, since he wears the same shirt and sweatpants every time. The first thing out of Vince's mouth is promotion for the Slammy Awards. Albano takes credit for making the album one of the most successful of all time. OH-KAY.- Highlights of Lou Albano at a fundraiser for Multiple Sclerosis. Fans of today probably don't know much of Albano, but he was a DESPISED heel for decades, and to see him as over as he is as a babyface really is something to behold.
- Back in the studio, Albano puts over the British Bulldogs as world-class athletes (DUH). McMahon compliments Albano on his appearance on "227" (yes, I've seen it, and it was OK, just Albano playing a subdued version of himself) which segues to talking about the Magnificent Muraco and Mr. Fuji and their exploits to attempt making it in Hollywood.
- We throw things to a video of Muraco and Fuji going on a hunt for a Hollywood agent. For all the people in the world who poo-poo actors and athletes for their salaries, it's the agents who are to blame. The new music dubbed in is too loud to hear Muraco's whispering, but he seems confident they'll find an agent. They're in awe of the waiting room of their first visit, where another man has waited for three days. They show the agent a tape of their performance, and he laughs them out of the room, calling it the worst piece of trash he's ever seen. Muraco says, "he wouldn't know talent if it bit him… where his brains are." We're supposed to believe they've stopped off at Paramount and MGM Studios, based on wide-angle shots of their entrances. Fuji harasses a guard for not knowing what Fuji General is, accusing him of living in a closet. Fuji's next scheme includes a handful of cash. Muraco scoffs at the idea that nobody seems to know who he is. I guess the second guard proves that it's not true that everybody has a price. "When we take over Hollywood, you're losing your job!" Muraco suddenly has a great idea: That goof Hulk Hogan is recording for his TV Show tomorrow. It's a cartoon show, so I can't imagine there's much to record. They walk in on Okerlund having his makeup done and insist on taking his spot. Okerlund is informed that there's a spot for them after all. Okerlund has a gift for them, and inside is a book titled "Helpful Hints for Bad Actors." HAR-HAR.
Guest #2: Tito Santana
Santana is introduced as the reigning Intercontinental Champion, so this had to be in the can before February 8th, when he lost it to the Macho Man at the Boston Garden. McMahon asks if Santana "fooled around" with the bulls back in Mexico. Santana says the heroes and legends of Mexico are the bullfighters. OH MY GOD, EL MATADOR ORIGIN EXPLAINED!- Highlights of Tito Santana vs. Mr. X from the February 8th episode of Championship Wrestling.
- Back in the studio, Lord Alfred talks about witnessing bullfighting in Spain. Santana says there's not much of a difference when it comes to the "sport" and talks about how 6 bulls are killed every night, and 10% of matadors are killed, too. Well, that sounds barbaric.
Guest #3: "Leaping" Lanny Poffo
I'm surprised Lanny wasn't blackballed from the show after his miserable attempt to make McMahon laugh the last time he was a guest. McMahon calls him an "unusual talent", and Santana is still hanging around. I guess there wasn't time in the format sheet to usher him away. Poffo tosses a few of his poems into the crowd. I feel like I'm in a time warp, as McMahon talks about his gimmick and asks if Poffo has a poem for us. Poffo brings up Muraco and Fuji's acting, which he immortalizes in his poem, or as he called it, "a eulogy."- Highlights of another Lanny Poffo poem and him in action against the Hart Foundation. They cut back to the studio after a few moments since it's a squash and he's on the losing end.
Guest(s) #4: "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Elizabeth
Last time McMahon had Savage on as a guest, they basically promoted the idea that Savage was physically and mentally abusive to Elizabeth. Savage is wearing a pair of red tights and a "Hulk Who?" t-shirt. Savage deliberately knocks over the LJN figures on McMahon's desk and says Elizabeth is only a small part of his success, like a grain of sand in the Sahara Desert. Savage has his intensity cranked up to about 15 here.- Highlights of Randy Savage in action, courtesy of Championship Wrestling.
- Back in the studio, Savage flexes to get the crowd riled up. McMahon cuts him off to express his admiration of Elizabeth. He asks about the banner she's wearing and what it says: Macho Madness. That'll never get over. Savage declares Hulkamania is dead, and the next time the stepping-stone Santana meets Savage in the ring, he's going to turn over the Intercontinental Championship. From there, he'll win the World Heavyweight Title and have a shoulder over both shoulders, and if he goes swimming, he'll drown from holding all that gold. When we come back from commercial, McMahon is thumbing through the latest issue of WWF Magazine. Savage snatches it from McMahon, ripping out a page featuring a picture of Elizabeth and not himself, then tosses the crumpled paper at Elizabeth. He rips apart the rest of the magazine (featuring Hogan on the cover) and tells everyone to read his shirt. Suddenly, some geek delivery guy (accompanied by durpy music) has a delivery for Elizabeth. Inside the package is a bouquet of flowers. Savage wants to know who they came from and says they're going to be in the danger zone. The man guilty of the present? George "The Animal" Steele. The flowers are packed with turnbuckle stuffing as the big giveaway.
- Next Week: The Junkyard Dog, Terry Funk, Jimmy Hart, Fred Blassie, Hercules Hernandez, Scott McGhee, and SUPERFLY AFI.
Final Thoughts: Randy Savage was clearly the star of this week's episode, with unmatched intensity trying to get over his goals for the Intercontinental and Heavyweight Titles, as well as push his current angle with The Animal. The ongoing saga of Muraco and Fuji was another highlight, though the segment went on a little too long for the punchline they were going for. Albano wasn't much of a guest this time, Poffo read a poem, and Santana explained the legacy of Matador's, setting the table 5-years in advance for his gimmick change. Overall, an episode worth checking out.
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