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WWF The Main Event (V)- February 1, 1991

by Scrooge McSuck

- It's the end of the road for the Main Event specials. every year it seems they became more and more worthless. The first featured the memorable Andre vs. Hogan rematch that featured the twin referees. In 1989, the Mega Powers exploded. Then, in 1990, we had a random card featuring Hogan vs. Savage, with Buster Douglas (subbing for Mike Tyson) as Special ENFORCER, and then, in the Fall of 1990, a SNME episode was mutilated thanks to the Phantom Tag Title switch, and was labeled as a "Main Event" and aired on a special night. And now, this...

- We open the show with a PowerPoint presentation of Hulk Hogan's USO Tour, mostly in the form of pictures. The opening video is the typical SNME video, but for some reason includes the Warrior, and has Warrior on the graphic along with Main Event, sans the WWF Title. I guess they didn't like pasting an image of just a heel on there, since it was always the champion featured.

- Vince McMahon and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper are calling the action. Jack Tunney will announce the main event for WrestleMania VII, the LOD takes on the Orient Express, and the first title defense of Sgt. Slaughter against "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. Also, Hulk Hogan and Tugboat are teaming up to finish off the tandem of Earthquake and Dino Bravo. Seriously, how was this feud not killed off yet?

Hulk Hogan & Tugboat vs. Earthquake & Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart):

This match pretty much marks the ending of usefulness from Tugboat (at least in this persona) and Dino Bravo, as both men were shuttled down into JTTS territory and, in Bravo's case, just left by the summer. Crowd looks pretty into Hogan, so I'll ignore the canned reactions for this one. Okay, now that the crowd is sitting down and the noise is still loud, I'll make it... nice canned reactions for one of their main events. Bravo and Hogan lockup, and Bravo celebrates shoving Hogan into the corner. Lockup, and Hogan no-sells Bravo's power and does his shove into the corner and pose routine. Hogan with a back drop and atomic drop on Bravo, who ends up playing monkey-in-the-middle for the Tugger and Hulkster. Tugboat tags in and works the arm. Whip to the corner, and Tugboat eats boot on a charge attempt. Bravo with a reverse atomic drop(!), and Quake tags in and quickly misses an elbow drop. Hogan gets the hot tag and spazzes out. Bravo runs in and gets slammed, as does Earthquake. Whip to the corner, and Hogan charges in with a clothesline. Hogan with mounted punches and some biting. Tugboat tags back in, and they connect with a double big boot. Tugboat runs into a boot from Earthquake, then gets choked across the middle rope. Bravo tags in and they do some double teamin'. Earthquake with a snapmare, followed by his super-sized elbow drop, but Hogan breaks the cover. Bravo tags back in and pounds away across the back of Tugboat. Irish whip, and Quake and Bravo with a double clothesline. Earthquake continues dominating Tugboat, but doing little worth noting. Whip to the corner is reversed, and Tugboat with an avalanche, followed by a clothesline. Tugboat hits the ropes and gets whacked by Bravo with Jimmy Hart's megaphone. Dumbass should've tagged out when he had the chance.

Commercial Break (Domino's Pizza! Alka-Seltzer Allergy Medicine! Peanut Butter Snickers! Selsun Blue!), and we return from the same spot in the action, and Tugboat gets tossed back into the waiting arms of Earthquake, who elbows Tugboat across the back of the head and covers for a two count. Bravo tags in and stomps a mudhole in Tugboat. Bravo with a crummy looking headlock, and I guess we're anticipating a false hot tag. Yep, referee doesn't see it, and a double slam takes Tugboat back down. Earthquake does his bouncing and comes off the ropes and gets clotheslined by Hogan. Hogan then does the Mr. Sandman victory dance from Punch-Out trying to will Tugboat to the corner. Hogan with the hot tag and hammers away on Bravo with rights. Irish whip, big boot, and a school boy on Bravo gets the three count at 8:57. *1/2 Seriously... what was that?! Hogan never gets in trouble, then beats the secondary opponent with so much ease, he doesn't even have to do a Hulk Up? Not a terrible match, but that was a tad disappointing, even for the expectations I had going into it.

- We recap the Royal Rumble saga between the Macho King and Ultimate Warrior. I already went into super-detail in my recap of the 1/26/91 episode of Superstars. Savage wants a title shot in the future, Sherri offers herself to Warrior (suggestively, not literally), Warrior says no, and then Sherri and Savage constantly interfere in Warrior's title defense against Sgt. Slaughter, costing him the title in the process. Seeing Savage's septor shattering over the head of Warrior is still one of those awesome moments I can't get enough of. They even show it in Super-Slow-Mo!

- Mean Gene Okerlund is with Sgt. Slaughter and Gen. Adnan, who goes on in whatever language he speaks. I don't think even the WWF knew what it was, so they never bothered to identify it. Slaughter cuts his typical bad heel promo. Might as well call him "Sitting Duck". We're playing by Sgt. Slaughter's rules, now. The only thing brutal is listening to this guy talk. Slaughter finally name drops his opponent, two minutes into it. He's going to be Champion for LIFE!

WWF Championship Match:
Sgt. Slaughter (w/ Gen. Adnan) vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan:

Canned heat is back in effect. I always hated how the interviews would end, then three seconds later, they would have the guy coming to the ring. Jim Duggan is using that lame music Nikolai Volkoff and, later on, "USA Lovin'" Lex Luger had. Duggan comes to the ring, not alone, but with Superman himself, Hulk Hogan. Commercial break, including the congratulations of Super Bowl champions New York Giants, and instead of going to Disneyland, they're dedicating the win to the Troops. Aww... We return, and Hogan is sent backstage because he's not a legal manager or corner man. What-the-f*ck-ever. Lockup, and Duggan shoves Slaughter on his ass. Slaughter with a boot to the midsection, followed by a series of rights. Whip to the corner is reversed, and now Duggan does the same routine. Whip to the corner, Duggan with a back drop, and a clothesline sends Slaughter over the top rope, to the floor. Back in, and Adnan trips Duggan up on a slam attempt. Duggan pulls Adnan onto the apron, but gets held in place for heel miscommuncation spot #1. Duggan unloads with rights and sends Slaughter to the corner again. Duggan with shoulders to the midsection, but a boot to the face ends his string of momentum. Slaughter chokes Duggan across the middle rope as the winner of the Saddam Hussein look-a-like contest argues with the referee. Slaughter grabs the 2x4 and rams it into the throat of Duggan. Slaughter with a foot on the chest, but Duggan kicks out at two. Slaughter with the pansiest rake of the back this side of Hulk Hogan, followed by more playing to the crowd. Slaughter rams Duggan into the buckle, but Duggan is powering up. Duggan with his usual roundhouse rights, and a whip to the corner sends Slaughter flying to the arena floor. Duggan follows out and throws Slaughter into the steel steps, and the into th ring post. Adnan attacks Duggan from behind, but it has no effect. Slaughter grabs a chair and whacks Duggan across the top of the head, drawing a Disqualification at 6:51. Back in the ring, and Slaughter continues beating Duggan with some shitty chair shots, and then things get kinky with the riding crop. Hogan runs in to make the save, and he gets a chair shot for his troubles. Slaughter spits on everyone and takes a hike. 1/2* Match was okay when it started, but it went downhill faster than you can say tasteless angle. Hogan and the power of America help Duggan back to his feet. They wave old glory in a bittersweet celebration.

- Commercial break, and here's one focusing on RICKEY HENDERSON! It's a catcher watching game footage of Rickey running the bases, and we finally see that it's promotiong Rolaids. HIGH-larious! Everything else isn't good enough in comparison of Rickey to mention.

- Mean Gene Okerlund is back, this time with the Road Warriors, I mean the Legion of Doom. They're taking on the "Japanese imports", consisting of caucasian (masked) Paul Diamond and Hawaiian Pat Tanaka. The LOD and Mr. Fuji actually had beef at the time, but it was really more between LOD and Demolition, but since the Orient Express were lower on the card somehow, they get fed to the big monster babyfaces.

The Legion of Doom vs. The Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji):

(Hawk & Animal vs. Tanaka & Kato)
This one should be pretty short. The last matches on episode of SNME were usually undercard squashes or were just terribly rushed because of limited time left. Animal and Kato lockup, and Animal easily tosses Kato into the corner. Lockup, and Kato rakes the eyes and grabs a front facelock. Animal tosses him in the air like a paper ball to escape. Animal chases Kato around the ring, and gets worked over back inside. Irish whip is reversed, and Animal with a powerslam. Tanaka runs in and gets back dropped into the next galaxy for his troubles. Tanaka and Hawk are the legal men now, and Hawk roars at him in an act of intimidation. Irish whip, and Hawk with a shoulder block. Kato trips Hawk up and they do some double teamin', but Hawk nails Tanaka with a clothesline and scares Kato into the arms of Animal, who press slams him back in the ring, just for Hawk to clothesline Kato to the floor. Then Animal kills Kato with a clothesline, and he does the turn-inside-out sell job, like Jannetty or Fatu. Animal with a headlock on Tanaka, followed by a shoulder tackle. Tanaka does the clothesline sell, too. Fuji climbs onto the apron and salts Animal. Tanaka with a reverse crescent kick, and Kato rakes the eyes. They do the leap-frog splash double team move, but Animal no-sells and comes back with a double clothesline. Hawk gets the hot tag and pounds everything that moves. Hawk with a diving shoulder tackle to Kato, then a clothesline (with oversell) to Tanaka. Animal with a clothesline into the corner on Kato, and the Doomsday Device ends it at 5:13. ** Entertaining, action packed match, but it's a shame that the Express were barely given any hope in hell of looking like they had a chance against the LOD. (Commercial break includes a trailer for The Silence Of The Lambs and the short-lived return of Dark Shadows)

- NBC News Special Report cuts into the program, but we return with Mean Gene in the ring with WWF President Jack Tunney. Who is getting the WrestleMania VII title shot? Warrior, the former champion? How about Jim Duggan, who was victorious earlier tonight? Or maybe the Macho King Randy Savage? Jack Tunney announces the opponent for Sgt. Slaughter will be... HULK HOGAN! Hulk Hogan makes his way back to the ring for the THIRD TIME on the Main Event. Hogan says he's going to war with Sgt. Slaughter at WrestleMania VII, and talks about the USO Tour he was recently part of. Hogan is going to win the WWF Title for the Troops defending the Freedom of America. I'm just going to leave politics out of it, because that (and religion) is one thing I will not open a can of worms for. Hulk Hogan ends things leading the crowd in a PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE. What am I, in Grade School? I'll admit it, even by 1991's standards, you have to have some weird control over fans to get them to do something that lame, even if it is milking the patriotic juices.

Final Thoughts: Not a terrible episode, but definitely the weakest when it came to actual importance behind all the matches. The opening tag was a blow off to a feud that sizzled by the end of 1990 and had the wrong ending, the championship match was just thrown together for no other reason other than Jim Duggan was patriotic, and the tag match was the typical randomly thrown together match to close things with. You did have the importance of the announcement for WrestleMania VII, but that's what Update and Special Report was for on the weekend shows.

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