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WWE Main Event - October 16, 2013

by Scrooge McSuck

- Last week on WWE Main Event... 3MB won a Handicap Match against Tons of Funk, Tamina Snuka made Aksana pay for her lack of vision and inability to ignore popping the crowd by being attractive, and Big E. Langston won a hard fought battle against Zack Ryder. Remember, look at that lineup and remember half the roster was in Abu Dhabi. This time last year, Kofi Kingston made WWE History by winning the Intercontinental Title from the Miz in one of the few 4-star matches in Main Event's short history.

- Taped on October 15th, 2013, from an undisclosed location. I hate when they can't even bother telling us where the show is coming from. I'm sure it's somewhere in Pennsylvania, but who the hell cares? Josh Mathews and the Miz are on commentary, unless otherwise noted.

WWE United States Championship Match:
Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler:

Ziggler has scored a few non-title victories over Ambrose in recent weeks, but this is definitely not his first title match. Ambrose is the only Shield member with a belt, with Reigns and Rollins ending up on the losing side of another battle against Cody Rhodes and Goldust on Monday Night Raw. Ziggler catches Ambrose off guard, nailing him with a dropkick for a near fall. School boy roll-up for another two count, and Ambrose quickly rolls to the floor to slow it down. After a game of cat-and-mouse, Ambrose puts the boots to Ziggler and takes him over with a side headlock. Ziggler counters, then comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Whip to the ropes, Ziggler blocks a hip toss and counters with a neck breaker for two. Jumping elbow drop across the chest for two. Another elbow, another two count. Ambrose turns things around in the corner, pounding away. Whip to the ropes, and Ambrose connects with an elbow. He drops a Muta-style twisting elbow for two, then grabs a chinlock. Ziggler fights back to his feet, but another neck breaker is blocked. Criss-cross, Ziggler with a boot to the face and a clothesline, taking both men to the floor.

We return from commercial, with Ambrose catching Ziggler off the ropes with a knee to the midsection. Stomp to the chest from the second rope gets two. Ziggler fights out of another chinlock, only to get laid out with a short-arm clothesline. Ambrose continues stomping away before slapping on a modified STF. I guess with Cena still officially out of action, it's OK. Ziggler quickly counters with a jawbreaker. Ambrose interrupts a slugfest, dumping Ziggler to the floor. He hangs onto the apron, drops Ambrose across the top rope, and comes off the top with a missile dropkick for a two count. Ziggler with mounted punches in the corner and a sunset flip for two. They trade counters and near falls until Ziggler connects with a diving clothesline. Ziggler goes for the Fame-Asser, but Ambrose avoids it. They fight over a back slide until the Fame-Asser connects on the second attempt, but it only gets two. Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, but Ambrose rolls to the floor. Ziggler follows and pays for it, getting taken down with a snap suplex. Ambrose to the top rope, only to get taken down from out of nowhere with the X-Factor. Stop stealing DX's moves, Ziggler! It only gets two. Ziggler grabs a sleeper hold, but Ambrose escapes, ramming Ziggler into the corner. Ambrose meets post on a charge and Ziggler rolls him up for two. Dive to the corner meets nothing, and Ambrose slams him down from the second turnbuckle. Headlock Driver from Ambrose, and that's enough for a three count at 10:51. ***1/4 Solid back-and-forth action, with some nice aggressiveness from Ziggler to really make Ambrose work for the victory and avoid the fate of the rest of the Shield from earlier in the week. I could've gone for a few more minutes, but I'll take it.

- Hype video for John Cena's return at Hell in a Cell. Yeah, that whole eight weeks gone is treated as if he were coming back from a crippling injury that kept him out of the ring for years. Yeah, he'll add a few buys to Hell in a Cell, despite little reason for his return other than "oh, look, he's back, order the PPV", but they could've used him better for the December PPV if creative didn't botch every storyline at the same time.

Santino Marella & Tons of Funk (w/ The Funkadactyls) vs. 3MB:

Who can ever get enough of the never-ending saga between 3MB and Tons of Funk? Throw Santino in there, and oh my God, I actually care even less. Drew McIntyre continues to be wasted in this goofy comedy stable. Slater and Clay start, no doubt working the same match as last week, except adding Santino to the formula. Slater floats like a butterfly, but stings like a gnat. Clay squashes him in the corner, and it's time for some Santino comedy. Mahal tries his luck with Tensai, but it proves to be all bad. Tensai with a monkey flip, followed by a butterfly suplex for two. Clay with an elbow drop for two. Mahal with a jawbuster, and McIntyre comes in with a running big boot. McIntyre and Slater with a double suplex for a two count. Mahal with a pair of jumping knee drops across the chest for two. McIntyre tries something from the second rope, but takes a headbutt to the midsection. Mahal cuts off the hot tag, only to be taken down with a T-Bone Suplex. Santino gets the hot tag, and he works Mahal over with his goofy offense. The Cobra comes out, but Slater interrupts. Chaos erupts, McIntyre and Slater both fail at stopping the Cobra, and Santino KO's Mahal for the three count at 5:18. *1/2 Entertaining garbage. At least they didn't bog things down with pointless restholds.

- Earlier this week on Monday Night Raw, Goldust and Cody Rhodes took advantage of a no Disqualification stipulation in defeating the Shield's Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns (and Dean Ambrose, for all intent and purposes) for the WW E Tag Team Championship. Honestly, if not for the stuff between the Shield and the Rhodes Family, WWE television has been quite unremarkable for at least the last three weeks.

R-Truth vs. Damien Sandow:

Didn't we get this match on Main Event two weeks ago? Maybe with Sandow taking Alberto Del Rio to the limit last week on Smackdown, he will actually be allowed to win a match against a stale midcard babyface act that's outlived his usefulness several years ago. Lockup, Truth with a hammerlock. Sandow counters with a snapmare and drives a series of knees to the midsection. Truth blocks a suplex and counters with a small package for two. Sandow avoids the Scissors Kick and drives a knee to the midsection. He takes Truth over with a snap suplex, but only gets a one count. Sandow dumps Truth to the floor and rams him hard into the security wall. Back inside, Sandow with a Russian leg sweep, followed by the Elbow of Disdain for a two count. Truth fights out of a chinlock and connects with a jumping heel kick. He puts Sandow down with a pair of clotheslines, followed by his signature front suplex for a two count. Truth with the Scissors Kick, but it only gets two. Does he having anything else left? Sandow counters another suplex attempt, and a Full Nelson Slam finishes at 4:41. ** Surprisingly energetic, considering the short run time. Did someone give the Ruthless Aggression speech before the taping? Sandow seemed to have an extra bit of electricity in his work, too, and Truth didn't bore me to tears, either.

- More highlights from Raw: It's a Beat The Clock Challenge between Ryback and CM Punk. If Ryback wins his match in the quickest time, he gets to pick the match stipulation, and same goes for Punk if he succeeded. Punk chooses a Handicap Match against Ryback and Paul Heyman... inside HELL IN A CELL! So, does Brock Lesnar rip the cage door off to save, or will Heyman finally take a shit-kicking to end this program?

The Great Khali (w/ Hornswoggle & Natalya) vs. Fandango (w/ Summer Rae):

They really packed this week's episode, possibly to make up for last week's shit effort? It's so funny to see that Fandango, the "pet project" coming out of WrestleMania, is now doing the final match job to a barely mobile comedy character on the C-Show. It's really annoying to see all these start and stop pushes of newer talent and gimmicks. How is anyone expect to get over and remain over with 50/50 booking? I like how Natalya is only in Khali's corner when it's convenient. Really adds to that continuity problem, even with something as minor as that. Fandango finds little success early on. Khali responds with a pelvic thrust (let's do the time warp, again!) and slaps to the chest. Summer Rae offers a distraction, only to get jerked off the apron by Natalya. Fandango clips the knee and actually gets some offense. Khali clubs his way free and hits another slap across the chest. Fandango runs into a big boot and clotheslines. Fandango goes after the knee, again. He goes to the top for whatever, and jumps right into the HASSAN CHOP, and it's over at 3:14. 1/4* Fandango tried.

Final Thoughts: Entertaining episode this week. We opened with a solid outing between Ziggler and Ambrose, got surprisingly entertaining matches out of the 6-Man Tag and Sandow vs. R-Truth, and even the black-eye of the night in the form of Great Khali was kept short and Fandango tried to make a match out of it. The Raw Recaps remind us what's good and bad about what happens on the important shows (Good: Rhodes vs. Shield, Bad: Pretty much everything else, just because it's all tired and pointless with little hope of a change in direction in site).

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