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WWE Main Event - July 10, 2013

by Scrooge McSuck

- Last Week on WWE Main Event... Christian and Damian Sandow were allowed to go 20-minutes, Jack Swagger reminded us all that being busted with drugs won't hinder your push, as he made short work of Sin Cara (again), and Big E. Langston showed up to squash Curt Hawkins, who seems to be having troubles making up his mind whether he's a face or a heel.

- Taped on July 9th, 2013 from Hampton, VA. Josh Matthews and The Miz are at ringside to call all the action, unless otherwise noted.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Antonio Cesaro (w/ Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger):

I don't follow Smackdown too much, but has Ziggler officially turned babyface? The graphic for Money In The Bank still has him pictured with A.J., who's as far from a babyface as you can get right now. Forgive me for skipping Colter's pre-match promo. Lockup to the corner and we get some shoving. Another lockup, and this time Cesaro goes to work on the left arm. Ziggler counters and grabs a headlock. Whip to the corner, Cesaro misses a charge, and Ziggler takes him over with a monkey flip. Cesaro quickly escapes a headlock and goes back to the arm. They trade off headlocks and Cesaro puts Ziggler down with a hard shoulder tackle. They criss-cross until Ziggler takes him over with a hip toss for barely a one count. Ziggler drops a series of elbows, and by a series, I mean a LOT, finishing with a high jumping 10th, sending Cesaro to the floor in anger.

We come back from a break, with Cesaro once again in control, working on the arm. Ziggler avoids a charge, takes Cesaro over with an arm drag, and grabs an armbar. Ziggler offers a comeback, until getting dropped throat-first across the top rope. Cesaro stomps away and chokes across the middle rope. Cesaro with a hard knee to the chest, followed by forearms. Ziggler with a dropkick from out of nowhere, but Cesaro remains in control, and does a quicker version of his gutwrench suplex. Double stomp to the chest, followed by a snap suplex for a two count. Cesaro pounds away in the corner and charges in with a vicious uppercut for another two count. Cesaro with an abdominal stretch, but he goes against the Laws of Rotunda and doesn't use the ropes for leverage. He does go to the book of Hall, pulling back on the non-tied up leg. Ziggler finally escapes and rolls Cesaro up for two. He counters a charge with an elbow, but a charge results in being pressed into the air and laid out wit the uppercut, anyway, but it only gets two.

Back from another break, with Cesaro planting Ziggler with a gutwrench suplex for a two count. Cesaro with forearms, and a hard chest-first whip to the corner gets two. Cesaro misses ANOTHER charge to the corner, and Ziggler takes him down with a neckbreaker for a two count. Cesaro blocks a boot and connects with the Fameasser for another two count. Cesaro uses the tights to throw Ziggler through the ropes. Ziggler ends up on the apron, and Cesaro climbs the turnbuckles, bringing Ziggler back in with a super-plex from that position. He's done that before, I believe with Kofi Kingston, and it's still an awesome move. Too bad it only gets two. Cesaro does his best Ken Shamrock impression and grabs that rear chinlock, then goes Ken Patera on his ass, swinging him around the ring. Ziggler manages to roll through and turns it into a pin attempt for a two count. Whip to the ropes, and Ziggler counters the air-press uppercut with a DDT. That only gets two. Ziggler with a Stinger splash, followed by mounted punches. Swagger tries to interrupt and eats a dropkick. Cesaro uses the distraction to blast Ziggler with the uppercut, but it only gets two. Ziggler counters a suplex and hits the Zig-Zag, but Swagger pulls him to the floor to draw a Disqualification at 14:41. Bullshit! Swagger slaps on the Patriot Lock, but Ziggler kicks him over the security wall. He rolls back in and dumps Cesaro to the floor, countering a Nuetralizer. He fakes out Colter before simply walking away... okay? Well, that was going well before the finish. After MONTHS of Cesaro doing clean jobs, suddenly he needs protection against the #1 Contender to the World Heavyweight Championship?

- We recap the events between John Cena and Mark Henry, building up to their WWE Championship Match at Money In The Bank. I know it's not going to happen, unless they do a quick switch in the name of a rematch on Monday Night Raw, but it would be nice to see Henry win the belt. Considering the belt is little more than a prop, I see no problem in Cena doing a quick lose it and win it, since he's already a 45 time Champion.

Tons of Funk & The Great Khali (w/ The Funkadactyls & Natalya) vs. Cody Rhodes, Damian Sandow, Heath Slater (w/ 3MB):

I'm going to say this every time: stop trotting Khali out there, he looks terrible. And where's Hornswoggle? I thought he was always attached to Khali. Why, oh why, is this a 6-Man Tag, and yet only one third of an actual three-man team is participating? I have a bad feeling Rhodes and Sandow aren't winning, despite being paired up against a comedy trio. Why not add two more to the faces and make it a super-sized 10-Man Tag? Whatever happened to the Rhodes Scholars being paired with the Bellas? So many questions that nobody cares to answer.

Rhodes and Tensai (just change his name back to Albert, already) start. Rhodes tries to use his speed advantage, but unwisely goes for a monkey flip. Tensai throws him to the corner and takes him down with his own monkey flip. Tensai with an avalanche, sending Rhodes to the floor and sending us to a commercial break. We come back, with Clay planting Sandow with a slam. Rhodes tries his luck, but it's all bad. Tons of Funk with double elbows and chops. Meanwhile, at ringside, the Divas and 3MB have words for each other. Back in the ring, Rhodes lays out Tensai with the Disaster Kick. Slater tags in for the first time, unloading with rights and a jumping heel kick for two. Sandow works him over with a flurry of knees, followed by the Elbow of Disdain for two. Jumping knee drop across the chest for two. Sandow hits the chinlock, instead of tagging out to get fresh offense. Tensai fights free, only to get slammed backwards. Sandow misses a second knee drop attempt, allowing Tensai to make the hot tag to Brodus. He plows through Sandow with clotheslines, followed by a T-Bone suplex and avalanche. Sandow tags out to Slater and along with Rhodes, leaves ringside. Khali tags in, hits Slater with clotheslines, and finishes with the Hassan Chop at 6:17. Despite my razzing throughout, this was a fun tag match. I don't have too much more to say, so let's move on.

- We recap the debut of Bray Wyatt and his followers on Monday Night Raw, putting a hurt on Kane bad enough to take him out of the Money In the Bank All-Stars Match. I could go off on a rant against despicable stupid internet marks, but then I would be wasting my time. I liked it, and feel like Bray Wyatt has potential to make a big impact in the very near future. Feuding with Kane, however, is not exactly what I would do, but we'll see where things go before I start a bitch-storm.

- We end the broadcast recapping the stupid "Evaluation" of Vicki Guerrero by Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, and COO Triple H. In short, Vicki Guerrero is no longer the executive associate managing director of Raw (or whatever name was originally used before someone in creative said "fuck it, she's just a GM.") and Brad Maddox is her replacement. Joy. There's the 15-minutes recapped in about 7-seconds.

Final Thoughts: Two solid matches this week, one being a standard structured singles matches and the other a bit of a comedy Six-Man Tag Match. I'm glad they dropped the third match, but at the same time, it meant giving us 5-minutes of the terrible segment featuring the McMahon's on Raw. Why are the McMahons being featured, again? The 7-year rule only works when they've been gone for seven years. Last I checked, McMahons have been around since 1998. LET IT GO! Money In The Bank looks like it might be a solid show, hopefully with some unexpected twists.

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