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WWE Main Event - January 13, 2015

by Scrooge McSuck

- Last night on Monday Night Raw, everybodyís talking, and most of them not very well. John Cena desperately wants to bring back Ziggler, Ryback, and Rowan, and threatened to go home with the WWE Title if he wins it at the Royal Rumble. What a threat... the current Champion already does it. Roman Reigns continues to become 2015ís version of 2014ís Batista, and Dean Ambrose loses another match against a high-profile opponent.

- Taped from wherever the hell Smackdown is being held this week (Baton Rouge, LA). Tom Phillips and John "Bradshaw" Layfield are at ringside to call the action, unless otherwise noted.

Los Matadores (w/ El Torito) vs. Goldust & Stardust:

Inset promo from Goldust and Stardust about appearing in the Royal Rumble Match. Didnít we get this match last week? Los Matadores are rocking Blue and Yellow tonight, for those who care about that stuff. Goldust and Fernando start, but not before Goldust cheap shots Torito. 1-star already! Fernando pounds away to retaliate the heinous act. Stardust with a blind tag, but heís still caught coming with a clothesline. Goldust with a distraction, allowing Stardust to hit a modified Disaster Kick. Stardust with a cart-wheel and elbow drop, probably making Rick Martel or Lanny Poffo proud. Fernando escapes a chinlock and tosses Stardust to the floor. Diego with the tag and an axehandle from the top rope. Diego with a pair of diving elbows. OLE! Sunset flip for a two count. Goldust with a knee to the back, followed by choking. Torito hops on the apron and Goldust goes after him again. Torito surprises him with a head scissors (in clear view of the referee), and Diego with the school boy for three at 4:02. Iím sick of the roll-up finishes. *3/4 Rushed, but it was non-stop action, so thereís that.

- This was mentioned during the previous match, but so far, only the following names are confirmed for the Royal Rumble Match: Goldust, Stardust, Bad News Barrett, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Rusev, Roman Reigns, and Daniel Bryan. Iím more than sure weíll get the annual Kofi Kingston ďholy shitĒ elimination spot. 20 bucks says Randy Orton makes his surprise return in the match, too.

- Next week, WWE Main Event is pre-empted on the WWE Network in favor of a Santino Royal Rumble Special. I guess thereís a contract situation going on overseas where Main Event is actually contracted for Network Television. All signs point to an agreement being reached by the 27th.

- The Ascension are here... to talk. UGH. Please, donít do it. These guys need a mouth piece. In my Monday Night Raw recap, I mentioned the Ascensionís music sounding familiar. The opening riff is almost surely from CM Punkís original ďThis Fire BurnsĒ theme from Killswitch Engage, and then the rest sounds like a remix of Seth Rollinsí current Metallica knock-off.

The Ascension vs. The Ham & Eggers:

Viktor pounds away on one of the scrubs. Konnor with some stomping and more clubberiní offense. Viktor with a big clothesline, sending him to the floor. Back inside, Konnor takes a shot at the partner on the apron, and lays out the legal scrub with a clothesline. Nuclear Fall Out and the Fall of Man finishes at 1:46. Decent squash. Iím all for the idea of keeping these guys out of the ring with the ďnameĒ opponents, just so they donít burn through every option too quickly. Again, the heel is bashing them and the babyface is defending them... am I missing something?

- Thursday Night on WWE Smackdown, Daniel Bryan returns to the ring against Corporate Kane. I have a feeling itís going to be a pretty good match.

- Recap of the Contract Signing from Monday Night Raw.

Justin Gabriel vs. Rusev (w/ Lana):

HuhÖ Justin Gabriel was actually trending on Twitter during Raw because he was one of the Lumberjacks during the Cena/Rollins Match, despite never once being identified by the commentary team. I guess heís a tweener for hire. Gabriel, sporting La Parkaís old tights it looks like, uses his speed to avoid Rusev. USA Chant for the native SOUTH AFRICAN. Even JBL catches that one. Gabriel with a series of blows, but Rusev shrugs it off. Rusev catches a kick and sweeps the legs, but misses an elbow. Gabriel gets thrown to the apron and laid out with a roundhouse kick. Back inside, Rusev with a series of elbow drops. Rusev grabs a chinlock and pounds the back of the neck. Gabriel comes back with a jaw buster and a double stomp from the top rope. Springboard clothesline connects. He tries something else off the ropes, but Rusev slams him down and the Accolade finishes at 3:51. * Post-match, Rusev KOís Gabriel with a jumping super-kick. Decent extended squash for Rusev.

- Montage of the ďMacho ManĒ Randy Savage, as part of the announcement of him being the 1st name announced for the 2015 WWE Hall of Fame.

The New Day vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd, Adam Rose (w/ Natalya & The Rosebuds):

I love me some Six-Man Tag Team Action! Hopefully they get more time tonight than they did on Monday (less than 4-minutes). If anyone has trouble telling Kofi and Xavier Woods apart, Kofiís the better worker. New Day cut an awkward inset promo, but Iím glad to see them back. Kofi and Rose start. Kofi escapes an armbar and hits a splash for an early near fall. Kidd tags in and is quickly taken over with a hip toss. Big E. in, sending Kofi into the corner, then laying Kidd out with a clothesline. Woods in, and Big E. splashes him across Kidd for two. Whip to the corner, Woods gets a boot up, and hits an Honor Roll (clothesline) for two. Woods gets sent into the corner, then hung up in the ropes. Rose rams him into the side of the ring and covers for two. Kidd with a slingshot into a Cesaro uppercut for a two count.

We return from a break, with Rose in control with a chinlock. Woods fights to his feet and counters a suplex with a small package for two. Kidd pounds away in the corner and hits a leg drop across the throat. Cesaro in with a MAN-SIZED basement dropkick, knocking Woods to the floor. Cesao covers for two and quickly grabs a chinlock. Cesaro catches a boot, but leaves himself open for an enziguri. Kofi with the tag, coming off the top with an axehandle to Tyson Kidd. He connects with a dropkick and jumping clothesline, then comes off the ropes with the Boom Drop. Running knees to the chest by Kofi, followed by a dive onto Rose. He springboards back in with a body press on Tyson, but it only gets two. Blind moonsault is countered by a Cesaro uppercut, but it only gets two! I didnít even notice he switched with Kidd! He knocks Big E. off the apron with a boot, gives Kofi the Giant Swing, and Kidd in with a dropkick to the face for two! Woods gets dumped again, and Kofi surprises Cesaro with a small package for two. Big E. with the hot tag, unloading with rights. Belly-to-belly suplex connects. He comes off the ropes with a splash to both Cesaro and Kidd. He scoops up Cesaro for the Big Ending, but Rose with the blind tag. Big E. brings him in with a hip toss, followed by an overhead belly-to-belly suplex for two! Woods with a weird victory roll/splash on Cesaro. TROUBLE IN PARADISE TO KIDD! Cesaro takes Kofi out of the ring, to the floor with a suplex. Rose with a spinebuster on Big E. for two! Rose with rights, but Big E. shrugs it off and connects with a clothesline. New Day Assemble! Woods and Kofi with suicide dives, and Big E. spears Rose through the ropes! Back inside, the Midnight Hour finishes Rose at 11:02. ***1/4 Super-energetic match, with minimal resting, some nice high spots, and overall fluid work from all involved. Yes, Iím a mark for three of the six men, but itís still pretty good.

Final Thoughts: Itís an episode like this where I can go "this is why I still watch WWE." Through the stale match-ups, the ungodly three hours of Monday Night Raw, and some questionable booking choices, I can still relax and enjoy a bunch of midcard tag team matches. A solid Six-Man Tag Main Event, a decent tag team opener, and the Ascension squashes another pair of scrubs. Even Rusev crushing Gabriel served a purpose. The recapping of Raw was minimal, and I just feel like WWE needs to get back to the basics and cut out the endless amount of talking. It requires a deeper roster, but come onÖ use some NXT people for Main Event and Superstars, give them some more exposure and time to work "WWE Style" in front of a WWE crowd.

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