UWF Fury Hour - October 8, 1990
by Scrooge McSuck
- Televised on SportsChannel America, still from the taping that took place on September 24th, 1990 from the Reseda Country Club in Reseda, CA. I’ll keep listing the unofficial broadcast dates as long as I can before things start to fall apart by the Summer of 1991. I promise, I can eventually make it all the way through... then I can move onto the collection of GWF weekly shows. Herb Abrams and Bruno Sammartino are still sitting in front of an obvious green screen, pretending to be there live (despite being taped two weeks ago).
- Last week on the Fury Hour, B. Brian Blair and "Dangerous" Dan Spivey battled to a Double Count-Out, Cactus Jack had an inconclusive finish with Bruno Sammartino’s kid, Dr. Death squashed "Not Quite" Dave Meltzer and had an in-ring confrontation with "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff, and we also saw such names as Col. DeBeers and Billy Jack Haynes in action. It was "wild and wooly" according to Abrams. This week... "The Unpredictable" Cactus Jack, "Dangerous" Dan Spivey, "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff, "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, David Sammartino, B. Brian Blair, a feature match between Billy Jack Haynes and Col. DeBeers, and another edition of Captain Lou’s Corner.
Cactus Jack vs. Davey Meltzer:
Oh good, more with Abrams’ #1 nemesis, some guy who reports the facts on professional wrestling and had the nerve to consider Abrams a low-life (OK, maybe he didn’t use those words, but we can read between the lines). Cactus comes out to "Born to Be Wild." Lockup and Cactus goes to work with rights in the corner. Whip to the corner is reversed, but Meltzer runs into an elbow. Cactus with a snap mare, followed by an elbow drop. He chokes Meltzer across the middle rope and splashes across the back. Nice of Meltzer to sell it by spitting on the camera lens. Davey with rights, but he misses quite possibly the worst dropkick I’ve ever seen. Cactus with a back suplex, but he picks him off the canvas at the count of two. Whip to the corner and Cactus with a bulldog. He tosses Davey to the floor and plants him with a slam on the concrete. Cactus heads back to the apron and comes crashing down with the elbow, and the wonderful camera crew missed most of it. Back in the ring, and Cactus covers for three at 3:00. I’m surprised they gave the scrub offense, but I’m sure Foley is a bit more tolerant in giving a little offense than Steve Williams."Dangerous" Dan Spivey vs. Scott Cole:
Spivey comes to the ring, ripping up a Brian Blair shirt, so I’m assuming they have unfinished business. Lockup to the corner and Spivey pounds away. Whip to the ropes and he connects with a clothesline, followed by a swinging neck breaker. He takes Cole over with a suplex, followed by the gut-wrench variety. The referee actually counts three despite Spivey not even covering him beyond the one count! Spivey with a Powerbomb, and now it’s over at 1:08. I’m assuming Spivey isn’t being paid by the minute."Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs. The Black Knight:
Who doesn’t love masked jobbers? There’s actually one fan chanting "Black Knight." Orndorff tosses one of his t-shirts to a fan in the front row to promote UWF t-shirts, available now. The Knight grabs a side headlock, using a handful of hair. Whip to the ropes, and he drops Orndorff with a shoulder tackle. Orndorff comes back with a pair of arm drags, sending the Black Knight to the floor. Black Knight botches a sunset flip, so they just awkwardly figure it out until Orndorff takes him down and works the arm. Orndorff goes for the mask, unsuccessfully. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s Bruiser Brody, who Abrams claimed would come in as a booker (note: Brody had been dead for over 2 years at this point). Orndorff with a back drop and elbow drop. Correction from last week: I totally forgot Orndorff’s brief WCW run in 1990 as one of Sting’s "Dudes with Attitudes." Orndorff with the Piledriver, and it’s good for the three count at 5:10."Dr. Death" Steve Williams vs. Larry Ludden:
Williams comes out to "Bad to the Bone." I’m expecting another destructive squash. Ludden attacks Williams from behind, but Dr. Death no-sells a clothesline. He lands a series of jabs and a headbutt. Whip to the ropes and Williams with a vicious clothesline. I’m getting tired of the "picking the scrub off the canvas mid-count" spot. Whip to the corner and Williams with another big clothesline. Abrams says the feature match next week will be Dr. Death vs. Mr. Wonderful. Williams with a gorilla press slam. I’m on the verge of falling asleep due to Sammartino’s boring commentary. Whip to the corner and Williams misses the charge! He doesn’t miss an enziguri, though. Williams with a diving body press into the corner. He comes off the top rope with another body press and picks Ludden up, again. He plants him with a slam and runs him over with a shoulder tackle. The Oklahoma Stampede finishes it at 4:08. Maybe Williams is being paid by the minute.- Col. DeBeers cuts a green-screen promo about teaching Billy "Jerk" Haynes some respect, and that Nelson Mandela doesn’t deserve respect like other South Africans do. Because he’s racist, you see.
David Sammartino vs. Houdini:
What kind of name for a jobber is HOUDINI? Sammartino quickly picks the leg, but doesn’t follow up. Houdini escapes a waist-lock, grabs a full nelson, and takes Sammartino over with a snap mare. Sammartino picks the leg again and hooks the leg, but Houdini makes the ropes. Sammartino with a Figure-Four, and that ends it at 1:50. That was a waste of time.- Captain Lou’s Corner, for an interview with "Dangerous" Danny Spivey. For a second, I thought he was wearing a tie on his head. He has the size and strength to dominate the professional wrestling scene. I cover my eyes and he almost sounds like Brutus Beefcake. They’re still pushing the feud between him and Brian Blair over Spivey giving him a cheap shot in New York after getting tired of Blair’s smart-ass mouth.
- Chief Jay Strongbow Jr. is coming to the UWF. That sure as hell doesn’t look like Mark Young.
"Killer Bee" B. Brian Blair vs. Spitball Patterson:
Any chance Patterson gets the upset victory tonight? Lockup and Blair grabs a side headlock. They trade wrist-locks until Blair takes Patterson over with a fireman’s carry. Dan Spivey shows up at ringside to give Blair the crazy eyes. It’s enough of a distraction for Blair to let the hold go. Spivey trips Blair up, and somehow the referee doesn’t see it. Patterson drops a couple of elbows and hooks a chin-lock. Blair tries to get to his feet, but SPITBALL uses a handful of hair to take him back down. The crowd chants "Spivey" because he’s way cooler than a middle-aged man waving his arms like a damn bee. Blair escapers and again gets tripped by Spivey in clear view of the referee. Blair gets the knees up to counter a splash. Blair comes off the ropes with a bulldog and finishes Spitball with the world’s worst Sharpshooter at 4:45. Spivey comes in after the bell and plants Blair with a Powerbomb. The war between Spivey and Blair is far from over.Billy Jack Haynes vs. Col. DeBeers:
We’re finally getting a Feature Match™, but seriously, DeBeers vs. ANYONE is going to be trash. Is DeBeers using "Welcome to the Jungle" as his music?! He takes exception to the referee assigned to the match because he’s African-American, and demands him removed... and the ring announcer actually goes along with announcing that a new referee will be taking over! Haynes doesn’t agree with the decision to switch referees and demands that the original referee return, but DeBeers attacks from behind. DeBeers with a pair of shoulder tackles. Haynes counters a third and drives DeBeers face-first to the canvas. Haynes with a snap mare into a chin-lock. Already hitting the rest spots?! Whip to the ropes, Haynes with a shoulder tackle and a knee lift. He takes DeBeers over with another snap mare and goes back to the chin-lock. DeBeers with his best effort at throwing an enziguri, then throws Haynes to the floor. DeBeers with stomps to the head. Dammit, doesn’t this man know a thing about concussion related symptoms!? Haynes teases a comeback and looks beyond exhausted. I guess conditioning isn’t a requirement in drug smuggling. DeBeers with a slam, but a splash from the top meets knees. Haynes whips him to the ropes and connects with an elbow. He traps DeBeers in the ropes and pounds away. Haynes with a snap mare and elbow drop. Haynes barely makes contact with a dropkick, but DeBeers over-sells it with a bump to the floor. Haynes brings him back in with a suplex for a two count. He goes for the Full Nelson, but DeBeers throws himself out of the ring. Haynes follows him out and it’s a Double Count-Out at 9:05. They really love the non-decisive finishes for features. ½* This was... a match. That’s all I got to say, honestly. It wasn’t an abomination, it wasn’t good. DeBeers’ gimmick is just ridiculous.- Dr. Death cuts a screaming green-screen promo on Mr. Wonderful about who will be the boy and who will be the man in next week’s feature match.
Final Thoughts: We can see what we have to look forward to as long as we keep coming from this taping. Blair vs. Spivey is still being pushed as a feud, we’ve got a battle of babyfaces in Dr. Death and Mr. Wonderful to look forward to, and what about that Davey Meltzer? I’m sure we’ll see more of Col. DeBeers and his white supremacy nonsense, and who isn’t looking forward to the debut of Chief Jay Strongbow JR?! The wrestling was trash, and the only feature match was both dull and inconclusive (again), but there’s still the charm of seeing where things go.
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