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GCW: Cage of Survival 3- June 2, 2024
by Doc Allen
Live from the Showboat Hotel in Atlantic City, New Jersey. The room is packed with wrestling fans and internet weirdos. Dave Prazak and Veda Scott are on commentary.
A couple guys in hoodies wander the hotel halls. They ambush Joey Janela in his room with weapons and leave him in a heap.
Cage of Survival:
Mance Warner vs. Effy
I'm guessing this is curtain jerking because the cage is a hassle to construct. It's your typical cage, except one wall is hanging open. Crowd is hot for this one, they love Effy,and chant "F*** you, Mance" before introductions. Bell rings, Effy unloads a flurry of offense. Blockbuster gets 2. Effy pelvic thrusts the forehead and nails a TKO. Effy gets the light tube party started by bloodying Mance's forehead. Almost 5 minutes go by before Mance gets any offense with a chair shot. He repays Effy for the light tube attacks. Effy makes a quick comeback with running boots, Mance cuts it short with a superplex through the open wall. They stay on the wall, Mance hits a side Russian leg sweep, and seems to slice his own arm in the process. Effy retaliates with multiple chair shots. Effy tries to pour lighter fluid onto a door, Mance stops him with a light tube. Mance chokeslams Effy through the burning door, EFFY KICKS OUT! Effy absorbs more weapon shots before spearing a tube into Mance. Effy dives from a chair to spear Mance through a wall onto a barbed wire spider web! I have to hand it to them, I thought they had blown through their biggest spots early, but look how wrong I was. Effy follows with a piledriver onto the wired web. Effy dodges a potentially fatal tube blow and nails a powerbomb through a glass pane! Warner uses the ref as a shield to confuse Effy and nails a spear through another pane. Warner absorbs Radio Silence and nails a King Kong lariat, both guys collapse for a heartfelt crowd ovation. Effy finds his second wind and destroys more light tubes over Mance's carcass. Warner reverses Radio Silence into a sitout powerbomb for 2. The ring crew helps Mance construct a three story door and glass tower. Effy hits a brutal superplex through the flaming structure and gets the pinfall at 26:09! I would have legit spit my drink out had Warner kicked out. Glorious bloodbath to end the feud. Good case study for holding off on instant gratification, as the previous non-finishes helped get us to this moment. The emotional investment displayed by the fans says it all, ****¾.
Winner: Effy
Early INTERMISSION to clean up the mess and change the ring canvas.
Megan Bayne vs. Mike Bailey
Megan has a slight height advantage and sizes Bailey up before accepting a tense handshake. They lock up, Bayne throws Bailey outside like an Amazon. Bailey tries again but eats Bayne's shoulder tackle. Bayne reverses a leap frog and nails a nasty suplex. Big splash gets 2. Bayne gets overconfident marching around in a delayed suplex position and Bailey counters with targeted arm attacks. Bayne answers with a desperation exploder suplex! Bayne reverses a running crossbody into a fallaway slam! Bailey comes back with an assortment of kicks, but misses a standing SSP. Bailey blocks a chokeslam by hammering the injured arm. Bailey misses a moonsault double knee drop on the ring frame and Bayne nails an inside out vertical suplex! They trade potential KO blows and hit the canvas for a polite crowd ovation. They battle back to their feet, Bailey counters into a cross armbreaker, Bayne almost escapes, but Bailey transitions into a triangle choke! Bayne scoops Bailey up for a one armed buckle bomb! Bailey answers with a sitout powerbomb and SSP, BAYNE KICKS OUT! Bayne counters the Flamingo Driver into another sitout powerbomb, Bailey reverses the pinfall into a sick arm scissors! Bayne rolls him over for a convincing nearfall, Bailey blasts more superkicks, Bayne explodes into a lariat. Chokeslam by Bayne, then the Tombstone Piledriver it at 14:32! Crowd gives them a standing ovation. HELL of a back and forth war. Bayne survived an arm injury and keeps her GCW undefeated streak intact, ****¼.
Winner: Megan Bayne
Yuki Ishikawa and Big Japan Deathmatch Champion Hideyoshi Kamitani vs. Gahbage Daddies (Alec Price and Cole Radrick)
Ishikawa wrestled in three deathmatches last night but is looking spry. Gahbage Daddies enjoy a hot start with tandem offense on Ishikawa. Kamitani helps by slamming Radrick onto Price. Kamitani enjoys himself while chopping Radrick to pieces. Yuki's spinning powerbomb get 2, so he grabs a wired door to squish Cole. Yuki double stomps the door into Cole's arm. Radrick tries a double stunner but instead eats a double suplex through a door bridge. Luckily, Price made a blind tag and runs wild. Gahbage Daddies hit an electric chair double stomp to win at 6:48. Well, that was quick. Lively and energetic, apparently they didn't have a second to spare, **¼.
Winners: Gahbage Daddies
Deathmatch:
Big F'n Joe vs. Matt Tremont
I'm not familiar with Joe, but the fans are sure happy to see him. Tremont greets Joe with a bundle of tubes to the head. They take turns smashing more tubes into one another's skulls. Back suplex onto the apron by Tremont, he then takes a fork to the forehead. Tremont delivers a pair of Irish whips into tubes, but then misses a head of steam into some tubes himself. Joe cannonballs tubes into Tremont's chest. He fishhooks Matt's mouth with a clothes hanger. Tremont collapses into a pile of glass. Joe sticks a gusset on Tremont's forehead and nails a chairshot! Tremont does his best Popeye impression and DVD's Joe through a collection of doors and glass to win at 6:12. Efficient nastiness, **½.
Winner: Matt Tremont
GCW General Manager Matt Cardona (with Deathmatch Royalty) comes to the ring to sports entertain us. He's been throwing his weight around and has stripped Blake Christian of the GCW title.
GCW World Championship (Gauntlet of Survival):
I'm not sure if this is a Rumble-style match or your typical Gauntlet fare, but
John Wayne Murdoch and
Kasey Catal start. JWM won last night's deathmatch tournament, so you'd think he'd deserve a better prize, but I digress. Kasey ambushes with a gusset bat, cutting Wayne's arm open, but eats a superplex for 2. JWM gently presses the gusset bat against her forehead. High crossbody by Kasey gets 2, JWM pulls her neck-first into the ropes. Kasey takes too long setting up a door and gets piledrived through it for the pinfall. I forgot to start the stopwatch, sorry. It was five minutes-ish. Looks like we have a normal gauntlet match on our hands. That's a shame, I typically dislike these matches a lot.
1 Called Manders is next to square off against bloody JWM. Murdoch takes a beating but manages to throw a chair at Manders for 2. They both take seats for a brawl. See, Manders is selling like he's been in there forever, I don't like this. Manders connects a series of unprotected chair shots to the head and puts Manders through his chair with a crossbody. Lariat recovers for a lariat and 2. Mander hits a power slam through a table for only 2. JWM chops the throat and hits a brainbuster onto a door for the pinfall at 7:31. Now, we've got
Microman vs. Murdoch on our hands. JWM is tired and takes a tiny bulldog for 2. Microman bites his keister and gets taken down with a big boot. JWM hits a chair shot, the fans don't like him anymore. JWM doubles down, choking poor Microman with the chair in various positions. Microman surprises with a (very) small package to win at 3:01. Fans are delighted by this outcome. Sadly,
Shane Mercer is next and he's laser focused. Fans chant "over here." I'll assume they want Mercer to throw him in their section so they can rescue him, and they haven't betrayed the diminutive hero. Microman hits a Tiger Fade Kick and tornado DDT. Mercer hits a press slam backbreaker, then a moonsault slam to win at 2:03. Sadness. Now, we've got
Jordan Oliver vs. Mercer on our hands. Oliver enjoys a hot start, hitting a slingshot plancha outside. Oliver tries a tope, but Mercer slams him into the ring post. Mercer threatens a press slam into the front row, instead hits a vertical suplex in the ring. Oliver tries to run the ropes, Mercer hits a pop up fallaway slam for 2. Oliver answers with a sunset flip powerbomb, but Mercer counters with a military press backbreaker. Moonsault slam by Mercer, but Oliver reverses the pinfall to win. I'm having stopwatch issues, sorry. Basically, the match as a whole is very long and takes up a third of the show, but each individual match is too short to be satisfying in its own right. Mercer dishes out a revenge attack, leaving Oliver vulnerable to the next competitor,
Charles Mason. Brutal suplex by Mason gets 2. Cartwheel DVD by Mason also gets a nearfall, so he strangles with his belt. Oliver escapes for a stuffed superkick, but Mason reverses the Cloud Cutter into a rear naked choke. Dramatic rope break by Oliver, the ref has to pull Mason away from him. Mason is selling like he's been in the match for a long time, again getting on my nerves, Oliver makes a comeback with a leaping chinbreaker. Oliver hits a nameless driver for 2. Mason blocks the Acid Bomb, but flies into a cutter. Cloud Cutter by Oliver gets a nice nearfall. Asai moonsault by Oliver keeps his momentum going, but Mason spits water into his eyes and chokes him out with his belt. Tombstone piledriver ends Oliver. This admittedly turned into a really good chapter in the match. I'd like to see what these guys could do together in a proper singles match. The (allegedly) final participant is
Joey Janela, but he's nowhere to be seen. Matt Cardona threatens to crown Mason champion if Janela doesn't show up within the count of 10. Instead,
Nick Gage (with Dewey Donavan) saves the day by entering the match. Gage hits a spike piledriver on the apron, Mason ruins the moment by kicking out. Gage takes the pizza cutter to Mason's forehead, suddenly I'm craving Domino's. Gage hits a backbreaker to send Mason packing. Gage thinks he's won the GCW title, but Cardona adds
Jimmy Broski to the match. Jimmy hits a belt shot to the face, Gage kicks out. I'd be lying if I said this gauntlet hasn't turned into a stupid good time. Jimmy picks Gage apart with a chair. Gage blocks a door bump and makes a spirited comeback. Gage hits a piledriver through a door bridge, but Cardona pulls the referee away from the pinfall. Jimmy smashes tubes over Gage's skull and hits Radio Silence, but GAGE KICKS OUT! Jimmy spears Gage through a door and hits a second Radio Silence to win! Jimmy celebrates with the title, but Gage hits a piledriver as a parting gift. Cardona and Steph de Lander help Jimmy up to continue the celebration, Dave Prazak tries to end the broadcast, but
Joey Janela shows up at the last minute to potentially save the day! Janela clears Deathmatch Royalty from the ring and blocks Jimmy with the GCW title. Flying double stomp by Janela wins him the championship! For real this time! I really wanted to dislike this match, but dammit, they won me over by taking the overbooked nonsense further and further and further until I bought into the damn drama. They overcame my nitpicking, kudos to them, ****.
Winner and new GCW World Champion: Joey Janela
Cole Radrick arrives, eager to cash in his Brass Ring title shot. Steph spears him through a door, nice try, Cole. Instead, Mance Warner ambushes Joey's bandaged ribs with a chair shot. Warner also has a MITB-ish title shot in his back pocket and cashes in. Implant DDT by Warner gives him the GCW World Title. Jeez, how many of these ambush title match contracts are floating around GCW? Warner celebrates with Deathmatch Royalty, he's apparently their new ace.
Final Thoughts: This started out with a bang. Effy/Warner got the blowoff the feud deserved, and Bailey and Bayne exceeded all expectations. I keep whining about Gauntlet Matches, but this one turned out to be pretty great before it was over. Having Warner "cash in" and become World Champion after losing a feud in the opener feels way too WWE for me, but GCW seems to continually get away with this type of booking because of the goodwill they've built with their fanbase. This show gets an easy thumbs up, and I'm curious to see what happens next, so I guess sports entertainment gimmicks work.
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