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Shotgun Saturday Night - February 1, 1997

by Scrooge McSuck

- We're coming to you live from the Mirage Night Club in New York City, home of the first ever episode of Shotgun Saturday Night. Yeah, I know, that was only a month ago, but you've got to humor me. Last week, for those who forgot or ignored it, Savio Vega turned heel to join the Nation of Domination, and Bret Hart put in a stinker. Oh, and we got to see the last of Jake Roberts in the WWF until making a surprise appearance leading up to WrestleMania 21.

- Todd Pettengill reminds us that on the Premiere episode of Shotgun, that Ahmed Johnson did the PRP on a Nation member on top of a car. Suddenly, we see Paul Bearer and Vader rummaging through a dumpster, looking for Mankind. Suddenly, we see Mankind emerge from an abandoned building and almost getting ran over. Mankind's still obsessed about the loud music and dancing woman from last week, and he can't wait to get some more! Mankind is also dressed in his Mick Foley Signature Gear: ugly shirt, sweater, sweat pants, and white sneakers.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Vader (w/ Paul Bearer):

For those with a good memory, remember when Vader ended Ahmed Johnson's undefeated streak last summer? Mankind scares away Sunny and joins Vince McMahon at the broadcast booth. Ahmed (Scares Mike Tyson) comes to the ring with a 2x4, so Vader grabs a steel chair as his equalizer. Vader (Can't Wait for O.J. Verdict) gets in Ahmed's face, so Vader pie faces him. Lockup, and nothing comes of it. Vader thumbs the eye, then pounds away in the corner the way only he can. Vader with a pair of short arm clotheslines, and a right hook to the side of the head puts Ahmed down. Ahmed returns the favor in the corner, pounding Vader down to the canvas, then stomping away. Ahmed with a diving forearm into the corner. Irish whip, and Ahmed plants Vader with a spinebuster. Vader rolls out of the ring, and Mankind heads into the ring and gets punked out as we go to a commercial. We return, with Vader in control, dropping an elbow across the midsection. Vader takes it to the corner for more punching. Whip across the ring, and Vader charges in with an avalanche. Vader heads up the ropes, but he gets punted in the ass to break things up. Vader is up first and pounds the midsection. Ahmed fights back and connects with a spinning heel kick. Ahmed goes for the Pearl River Plunge, but Mankind comes in with a chair. Vader uses it and gives Ahmed a weak shot to the midsection drawing the Disqualification at 6:04, but Ahmed ends up with the chair and chases Vader from the ring with it. DUD Nothing to say about this one. Just dull and pointless.

- Todd tries to get an interview with the Headbangers, Mosh and Thrasher. They're pouring hot wax on themselves for entertainment. Mosh does all the talking, but is soon drowned out by the music of the British Bulldog (Just Got His Green Card), who's ready to compete. His opponent is still hanging at the broadcast booth, though.

The British Bulldog (Tag Team Champion) vs. Mankind (w/ Paul Bearer):

After a few moments of Mankind just hanging around, still calling the non-action, Bulldog casually comes over and pulls him from his seat. Bulldog rips the clothes off of Mankind, and just like any other rape in New York, no one comes over to help him. We go in the ring, and Bulldog stomps away, then tosses him back out of the ring. Mankind crawls back to the broadcast booth, but catches Bulldog coming with some rights. Back into the ring, and Mankind drops a running elbow for a two count, then slaps on a chinlock. Bulldog uses a leverage move to throw Mankind out of the ring, and he lands on an elevated platform. Bulldog stomps away on the leg of Mankind, then applies a single-leg crab, but Mankind pulls himself free. Mankind takes control, and chokes Bulldog in between the ring and the platform. Back in the ring, and Mankind with more punchy kicky. Todd is at ringside, and he tries to get a word with Savio Vega. He wants to be left alone, so you know he's a heel. Mankind with a leg drop, followed by a charging knee into the face. Whip to the corner, and Bulldog dramatically over-sells it. Mankind with a leg drop across the back of the head, and here comes Vader for whatever reason. Mankind with a back drop for a two count, then slaps on a chinlock. Commercial! We return, with Bulldog back dropping out of a piledriver on the platform outside the ring. E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! Back in the ring again, and Bulldog rams Mankind to the buckle. Mankind uses the tights to toss Bulldog out of the ring. Vader comes over for some fun and drops Bulldog across the security rail. Then he does it again, before tossing him back in the ring. Mankind covers, and the three count is made at 6:43. After the match, Vader enters the ring and pounds away with his clubberin' blows. Mankind joins in on the fun until Ahmed Johnson chases everyone away with his 2x4. The thing broke over the TOP ROPE. That has to be gimmicked. * Match was okay, but I'm sensing some people just aren't performing up to their normal standards at these shows. Afterwards Part 2, Ahmed and Bulldog get in a shoving match, as Paul Bearer cuts a promo from ringside.

"Double J" Jesse James vs. Savio Vega:

For whatever reason, Phineas Godwinn has joined the broadcast team, and hey, remember when he had a super huge crush on Sunny, then slopped her after she finally told him to go fuck himself (in a PG kind of way, that is). Savio (Alternate OJ Juror) cuts a promo to solidify his heel turn. And what's with these crappy O.J. jokes? Was there something in the news about him at this point? I'm sure the trial was long over already. Savio hits James coming in the ring with a crescent kick, then chokes away. Savio is still wearing the same ring attire, making him less threatening. Savio with chops in the corner. Whip across the ring, and Vega follows in with a spinning heel kick. Savio stomps away and fish hooks James. James with a cross body for a two count, as we discuss the old history between PIG and Sunny. Savio takes control, once again, takes James over with a snapmare, then applies a step over armbar. Irish whip, and James with a sunset flip for a two count. Savio regains control, and levels James with a clothesline for a two count. Savio maintains control and connects with a piledriver for another two count. Savio goes to his New Favorite Hold™, the nerve pinch. To change things up, Savio slaps on a chinlock. Phineas is surprisingly coherent on commentary, and isn't playing an over the top hillbilly. James with boots to the midsection, followed by some rights. Whip across the ring, and James runs right into a pair of boots. Savio with a knee to the back of the head for a two count. Savio chokes James across the middle rope, then puts him down with a back elbow. We bring up the slopping incident from last fall, to kill time during another chinlock. James escapes with a jaw buster, and at least he makes sure to sell it hurts himself, as well. Savio is back in control, choking James while trash talking Phineas, who responds with smart ass remarks. Savio tosses James out of the ring as we find out next weeks episode will be at Penn Station. James mounts a comeback, flooring Savio with a clothesline, then charging into the corner with another. James with mounted punches in the corner, and Savio does a Flair Flop. Whip to the corner, and James with a back drop. James hip tosses out of a pump handle slam, and finishes James off with a spinning heel kick at 8:37. *1/2 An okay match, if not very impressive. At least Savio seemed to work a more balanced "Heel" match, and James, while not a superior worker, had a little bit more in the tank than Rocky did last week.

- Todd is once again trying to interview the Headbangers. Thrasher is still sporting the melted wax on his arm, and here comes Mosh, who pukes right on his own partner's face. I'd say it looks more like Mosh spitting out a White Russian, but still, that's fucking nasty!

The Godwinns vs. The Headbangers:

(Henry O. & Phineas I. Godwinn vs. Mosh & Thrasher)
Well, this seems awfully familiar. The Godwinns are having a good time with one of the female dancers. The Godwinns apparently voted for Bob Dole... how could they not vote for their own Arkansas native?! Henry and Thrasher start. Lockup, and Henry grabs a headlock, then bowls over his opponent with a shoulder block. The crowd seems uncharacteristically dead. Henry works the arm, as does Phineas. Mosh tags in and slaps on a wristlock on Phineas. Phineas counters and pounds away. Irish whip, and Henry with a back drop. Lockup, and another wristlock. Vince declares that Hillbilly Jim is duck hunting in Central Park. Henry with a hip toss, and we get another break in the action. Thrasher and Phineas lock up into the ropes. Irish whip, and Mosh with a cheap shot from the apron. Irish whip, and Mosh with a flying clothesline. Commercial break, and we return to a hype video for next week's show at Penn Station. Mosh is wearing a White Zombie t-shirt, so you know I'm bored if I bother to mention something like that. Back in the ring, and Mosh with a flying elbow for a two count. Thrasher tags in and puts the boots to Phineas for another two count. Mosh hits the ropes for a leap frog splash across the back of Phineas. Irish whip, and Phineas comes back with a clothesline. Henry gets the HOG tag, but no one reacts to it. Henry with a clothesline, knocking Thrasher out of the ring. The action spills into the crowd, and Henry slams Thrasher on the dance floor. They continue brawling as we hear the bell ring at 7:07, and just like that, the broadcast comes to an end. I guess Shotgun Saturday Night was imitating WCW Nitro's endings, too. 1/2* Match was going in slow motion and the crowd didn't care for any of it, but it appeared like the Headbangers were trying some of the time.

Final Thoughts: It's becoming more and more obvious that this show just isn't going to work out. Unlike the first episode, the Mirage crowd was barely into any of the wrestling, all of the wrestlers, for the most part, seemed to be going in half speed mode, and there just wasn't anything noteworthy to write about. Remember Marlena flashing the Sultan? Sunny's sex video? Ahmed's powerbomb on a car? Well, this weeks big shock was Mosh puking on Thrasher. Vomit, piss, and shit seem to be the staples of WWF humor, even when no one else ever laughs at them.

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