-From Columbus, OH. Our valiant hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.
-The Rock comes to the ring to talk, and he sure does have a lot to say about what happened at No Mercy. He's sporting taped ribs after getting assaulted with a sledgehammer by Triple H. The Rock is gunning for the WWF title at Survivor Series, in honor of the peoples' ribs. The crowd just adores him. Rock wants everyone to know that when he hit Stone Cold with the sledgehammer, he was aiming for Triple H. Now he'll just have to settle for shining up the hammer and sexually assaulting The Game with it at Survivor Series. That's not really what The Rock said, just how I interpreted it. Austin joins him in the ring and this actually gives me chills. Austin has a bone to pick with Rock for declaring himself #1 contender, as well as being stupid enough to cost him the WWF title. They're about to fight when Mr. McMahon interrupts to ruin the moment. Vince wants to know what Triple H wants to do. HHH shows up and flaunts his success in properly annoying fashion. Of course, this results in Vince making a triple threat main event for Survivor Series. This was actually a rather great opening segment, with all four guys feeling larger than life.
-Mosh makes fun of Bubba's stutter on the mic, sparking a brawl. The Headbangers win the brawl as the Dudleyz back off up the ramp.
-Curtis Hughes and Howard Finkel are losing a poker game with the Acolytes. And that's about it.
-The Holly Cousins lobby Vince for a shot at the Tag Team Championship, because they're the best superheavyweight team he has. Vince doesn't think they deserve it but thinks it'd be entertaining, so the match is on.
-Hardcore Champion Big Boss Man comes to the ring and calls out Big Show. Boss Man has no sympathy for Show's dying father, other than having a loser for a son. This tasteless angle would stick out like a sore thumb in today's WWE, but I don't think this is even in the top 10 of offensive happenings in 1999.
-New Women's Champion Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young talk to Michael Cole. Moolah is proud to be the oldest Women's Champion in history (probably breaking her own record from the 1980's). Mae is jealous and wants a title shot, so Moolah chops her in the chest and tacklers her to the ground.
-Kevin Kelly interviews Big Show backstage about Boss Man's challenge. Show accepts the match because focusing on Boss Man is just what he needs.
-Test arrives at the arena. Hey, he's late, who does he think he is? Only Austin and Rock get to do that.
-Mark Henry is talking to a new sex therapist, this time a middle aged woman. She asks him if he's ever had a non-sexual hug and he scoffs at the notion. She offers a friendly hug but then can't help but throw herself all over him. This angle is terrible but at least it's progressing week to week. Can't say that about much of anything in WWE over the past few years.
-Hughes and Finkel continue to be embarrassed by the Acolytes in the card game. Hughes doesn't know how to spit and that's funny stuff.
-Mankind wanders around looking for The Rock, which is all he seems to do these days. He finds Rock and tells him about their title defense, but Rock is more concerned with his WWF title hunt. The Rock amusingly acts like he's never even heard of the Holly Cousins. Foley gives him a free copy of his book and Rock only wants to know what page he's mentioned on. Mankind can't take a hint and tries to give Rock the newly retrieved Mr. Rocko, but Rock doesn't want to lay a finger on it. Mankind, completely oblivious to Rock's angry tone, wanders off in good spirits.
-New Intercontinental Champion Chyna and The Kat come to the ring. This is Ms. Kitty's debut in the role of Chyna's mini-me. She issues an open challenge to any guy in the back to come fight her. Chris Jericho answers the call. He cuts a condescending promo, saying that Chyna's title win is the first time he's ever been embarrassed to be in the wrestling business (and he worked for WCW!). It sickens him that a woman is holding the same title once held by great champions like Randy Savage, Rick Rude, and The Mountie (haha). Jericho calls her a grotesque freak of nature and has no issues beating the hell out of her until the IC title is his. He foolishly turns his back and Chyna knocks him off the apron with the belt and he takes a bad spill onto the announce table. Good way to start the feud.
-Now, it's worth noting that this isn't a normal trash can, but a a plastic bin that's actually full of garbage. Bulldog lifts it over his head and smashes Test with it while the Mean Street Posse hovers. They leave Test down and out.
-The poker game continues, and Mr. Hughes has resorted to betting his clothing, jewelry, and even his "bitch" Howard Finkel. Hughes loses again and the Acolytes are delighted to own Howard.
-Al Snow finds Mick Foley's book in the trash can. He can't believe it seeing as this is Mick's life's work. He finds Mankind, who thinks Rock must have given it to him. Snow insists he found it in the trash but Mick just can't believe him.
-Val Venis cuts a promo in the ring, calling the friendship between Rock and Mankind to be the most pathetic thing he's ever seen.
-A less happy Mankind is searching for The Rock. He finds him in the locker room and his feelings are hurt over Rock throwing out the book. The Rock denies tossing it while Foley goes on a fiery rant about how the book represents his life. Mankind calls Rock an arrogant SOB and this gets under Rock's skin. Mankind doesn't want to team up with Rock anymore and tells him to grow up. GREAT segment here, makes me care more about both guys.
-The New Age Outlaws come to the ring and pop the crowd with catchphrases.
-The Acolytes take their frustrations out on poor Howard, giving the poor guy a wedgie. After a commercial, they're still threatening him in the back. Bradshaw wants him to squeal and this is starting to have a Deliverance feel to it.
-Michael Cole introduces the winners of the "greatest ladder match in history" and Terri Invitational Tournament: Matt and Jeff Hardy, who still enter through a ring of fire. Matt says they're no longer the New Brood, but want to be known as the Hardy Boys. They're interrupted by Edge and Christian, who limp their way to the ring. They're not here to fight but to celebrate the fact that at No Mercy they got a standing ovation, and the Columbus fans do so as well. They share handshakes and they're joined by the odd pair of Gangrel and Terri. Gangrel says that while they were sleeping off their injuires, he was scoring with Terri. The Hardys and Edge and Christian all beat up Gangrel, which seems to amuse Terri.
-GTV catches the Big Boss Man talking to the police officer who broke the bad news to Big Show. You'll never believe this, but they were in cahoots! Boss Man hired the rent-a-cop to lie to Show! What a villain.
-Stone Cold runs out and attacks Triple H on the stage. He throws him into the ring for a Rock Bottom. Rock sets up a Peoples' Elbow, but Austin gets in the way, flips a double bird, and puts Triple H down with a stunner. The fans. Love. This. So do I, for that matter.
Final Thoughts: This is a great Attitude Era episode of Raw. The stars were all over and there was anarchy all around. Even the embarrassing sleazy stuff didn't seem so bad. Thumbs Up.