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WWF Mania - March 6, 1993

by Scrooge McSuck

- Courtesy of WWE Classics on Demand, we're back with another episode of WWF Mania. As always, Todd Pettengill is our host for the hour, bringing us highlights from around the WWF, mostly from the recent episodes of Monday Night Raw and Superstars of Wrestling,. with a possible exclusive or two thrown in, as well. We're building up to WrestleMania IX, which is four weeks away (as of the broadcast date, that is). Pretty much the entire card, or at least the high profile matches, are set in stone... but does anyone care? It seems like our pal Todd has been locked out of the Mania Headquarters, but is still willing to host things through the doors.

Typhoon vs. Papa Shango:

Yes, it's a Mania Exclusive, with Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes calling the action. We're getting pretty close to the end of the line for Mooney in the WWF, so could this possibly be the last match he and Lord Alfred call together? Lockup, Shango grabs a headlock. Whip to the ropes, and a shoulder tackle has no effect on Typhoon. Typhoon catches a body press and plants Shango with a slam. Shango calls for a test-of-strength, but chooses to plant a pair of boots to the midsection. He misses a charge to the corner, and falls victim to another slam. He manages to recover and throw Typhoon into the buckle, using a handful of tights for leverage. Shango sends Typhoon to the corner and continues to pound away. Whip and Shango with a dropkick for two. Whip is reversed and Shango grabs a sleeper hold. Typhoon mounts a comeback, sending Shango to the floor with a clothesline. Shango's all "whatever", shoots pyro out of his voodoo stick, and beats Typhoon down with it to draw a Disqualification at 4:58. I think every Shango match from the Summer of '92 and onward ended with that same finish. Typhoon gets his "heat" back by powerslamming Shango. Dull match, but it was thankfully short. Mooney lies to us one last time, calling it a great match. Quick note: The On Demand Preview said this would be Shango vs. Earthquake, and yes, I'm disappointed by the bait-and-switch.

- Courtesy of WWF Monday Night Raw, Vince McMahon is standing by for a Special Interview with the reigning Tag Team Champions, Money Inc. For those unfamiliar with the time period, Brutus Beefcake made his return to the ring after nearly 3-years away, and in his first match back, he took on Dibiase, and it wasn't long until I.R.S. got involved and the two put a beating on him. The beating was so "vicious", it turned Jimmy Hart face, and brought Hulk Hogan back! So at WrestleMania IX, it's going to be Money Inc. vs. The Mega Maniacs for the Tag Team Titles. Woo?

Big Boss Man vs. Doink, The Clown:

Pulled from the recent episode of Superstars of Wrestling, and one of Doink's earliest matches since making his debut on WWF television towards the end of 1992. Despite being Superstars, we've got Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan calling the action. Doink offers Bossman a present, but whacks him across the head, instead. He slaps on a choke, and turns it into a rude awakening neckbreaker. Bossman comes back with elbows, but gets taken down with a drop toe hold, and Doink slaps on a single-leg crab before turning it into an STF. Doink with a back suplex for two, then slaps on a chicken-wing. Fireman's carry by Doink, followed by a leg drop across the arm. He heads to the top rope, only to get slammed off. Bossman with a clothesline, followed by a big boot. Bossman with a headbutt and the splash across the second rope. He teases it again before sliding to the floor and connecting with a roundhouse right. Whip to the corner, and he follows in with a splash. Doink pulls something out of his jacket and sprays Bossman in the eyes with some kind of greeen ink. He covers for three at 4:16, but Joey Marella eventually reverses the decision, giving it to the Bossman by Disqualification. Post-match, Doink continues to dish out punishment. The complete squash of the Bossman, courtesy of Doink, would mark his final television appearance until an unexpected return during the Fall of 1998.

- "Mean" Gene Okerlund is standing by with our WrestleMania IX Report, courtesy of the latest edition of WWF Magazine, featuring Yokozuna on the cover. Bret Hart defends the WWF Championship against Yokozuna. The Undertaker faces the 8-foot tall Giant Gonzales. Crush takes on Doink the Clown, and MORE! Order WrestleMania IX now, please.

Kimchee vs. Jim Gorman:

Incase anyone missed the memo, Kimchee is one of many personas of Steve Lombardi, a.k.a the Brooklyn Brawler. Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes are back for another exclusive match from Mania. Kimchee starts things out with chops and a hard whip to the corner. Kimchee with choking before tossing Gorman over the top rope, to the floor. How can a match that's barely a minute in bore me so much, so fast?! It's incredibly obvious this is Lombardi: He hasn't used an actual wrestling move, yet. Kimchee sits across the back with a chinlock, and THAT wins it at 2:50?! Kimchee won with a god damn CHINLOCK!?! Wow, someone must've been asleep at the creative meeting before putting this card together.

- Todd Pettengill is at WWF Headquarters, hanging out in front of a giant poster of WrestleMania VII and bothering a bunch of people trying to "work", who are conveniently having a hard time not giggling like school children.

Bret "Hitman" Hart (WWF Champion) vs. Fatu (w/ Samu & Afa):

Pulled from Monday Night Raw, and it's actually a title defense for the Hitman. I guess he really did defend it against all-comers. You would think there would be a lock on the belt never being defended until WrestleMania, but that would make too much sense. Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Rob Bartlett has Elvis Presley are on commentary. Ugh. Lockup, Bret grabs a headlock. Whip to the ropes, and he unwisely slams Fatu face-first to the canvas. Fatu no-sells and lays him out with a crescent kick for a two count. Bret blocks a hip toss, but a clothesline connects, for another two count. Fatu with the tongan death grip to slow things down already. Whip to the ropes and Bret comes back with a body press for two. The kickout sends Bret to the floor, allowing Samu to get some cheap shots in. We go back to WWF Headquarters, with Howard Finkel marking out.

We return to the action, with Fatu taking a bite out of the Hitman. He connects with a piledriver for two, then back to the biting. Fatu with stomping in the corner, followed by a hard whip across the ring, complete with the chest-first bump. Fatu drops a headbutt and covers for two. Fatu with a side suplex and second rope headbutt for another near fall. Fatu to the top rope this time, but Bret pops up and crotches him along the buckle. Bret follows him up and takes him down with a super-plex for a two count. Running bulldog out of the corner gets two. Bret with a back breaker and the second rope elbow. He goes for the Sharpshooter, but Afa's distraction allows Samu to sneak in and lay Bret out from behind. They pull the old switch-a-roo, with Samu covering for two. Fatu switches back in, only to get trapped in a sleeper. Bret shoves the Shrinkers into each other, takes Fatu down with a russian leg sweep, dropkicks Afa off the apron, and slaps the Sharpshooter on for the victory at 8:36. Why did Earl Hebner count three before realizing this is a SUBMISSION hold? Pretty good match, by the way. Seemed a bit shorter than I remember, but maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.

- Freddy Blassie has his own office at the WWF Head Offices, and appears to be yelling at someone over the phone. The entire room is covered from wall-to-wall with pictures spanning the career of Blassie. He works in a pencil-neck geek joke on Pettengill before kicking him out. Talk about a random cameo appearance.

Final Thoughts: Ignoring this was mostly a recap show, there was minimum wasted television. They replayed a pretty good match from Raw between Bret Hart and Fatu, replayed the Bossman's final match, putting Doink over strong, the interview with Money Inc. confirms the Tag Title Match at WrestleMania IX, and there's even a feature match, even if it's of lesser quality. You even get a bonus cameo from Classy Freddie Blassie! The only downside is a three-minute squash featuring Kimchee, but other than that, a very entertaining hour of WWF television.

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