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The "Best" of of Danhausen on YouTube: Halloween 2022
by Doc Allen
It's October and you know what that means: I scrape for content for another wacky unofficial Halloween Havok anthology review! Let's take a break from kicking around poor Gangrel and look at the very nice, very evil Danhausen, who has recently captured the hearts and minds of hipster wrestling fans. The method behind this homemade compilation is very simple, I went to Youtube, searched for "Danhausen vs." and recapped the top results (until I got bored).
Brian Johnson vs. Danhausen
Ring of Honor - February 3rd 2021
Life is good for Danhausen, as he's clutching a money bag after having signed a lucrative contract with Dave Honor. This is an empty studio match from the pandemic era, so Johnson loudly complains to the cameramen and referee. He wraps Danhausen in the apron for some easy offense. Johnson pauses to cut a promo and doesn't see Danhausen emerge from under the ring and hum "tequila" while delivering thrust kicks. Johnson spits in the eyes and hits a dive. Flying clothesline by Johnson, and then a normal clothesline gets 2. Danhausen is hurt but mockingly waves two fingers in Johnson's face. Danhausen escapes an abdominal stretch, but misses an elbow drop. Johnson uses the ropes for leverage on a second abdominal stretch but the ref catches it. Danhausen makes a comeback, is too hurt to deliver a suplex, and hits a headbutt instead. Danhausen ducks a clothesline and desperately hits his Northern Lights suplex. German by Danhausen, but he's too hurt for Goodnight Hausen, and Johnson kicks out after a pump kick. Johnson misses a high crossbody and escapes Cattle Mutilation. They trade rapid pin attempts, Danhausen hits spike DDT for 2. Danhausen fetches the jar of teeth, which doesn't faze Johnson, who nails a draping DDT. Johnson pours the teeth as if they were thumbtacks, exposes a turnbuckle but Danhausen catapults him into the steel. Goodnight Hausen connects, but Johnson rolls outside. Johnson uses the mic as a weapon and scores the rope-assisted pinfall at 11:56. Average match full of pandemic-era wackiness, 0 for 1.
Winner: Brian Johnson
Danhausen vs. Mordecai
Absolute Intense Wrestling - October 9th 2020
This was part of GCW's Collective weekend, I somehow missed this in real-time. Before you ask, yes, Mordecai is the wrestler AKA Kevin Thorn bringing back the gimmick he played on Smackdown for about 4 weeks in 2004. If that isn't a Halloween Havok miracle, I don't know what is. Danhausen is extremely interested in Mordecai's scepter and considers taking it for himself. Mordecai thinks Danhausen is a vampire and tries to smite him with his religious powers, but unfortunately Danhausen is actually a demon. The jar of teeth gets broken open in the kerfuffle, Mordecai is kind enough to clean it up, Danhausen thanks him with an eye gouge. Danhausen casts a Tequila spell and Mordecai has no choice but to dance. Danhausen offers dancing Mordecai a drink and kicks it into his face. Mordecai tries to make peace by offering up some vampire costume teeth, the ref gets rid of them and doesn't see Mordecai pull out a realtor sign (from his day job) and smashes it over Danhausen's skull. I would be so excited to buy a house from Kevin Fertig. Mordecai uses colorful language with the referee, which prompts a Danhausen comeback because HE HATES SWEARING! Mordecai gets a mouthful of teeth and kicked in the jaw. Danhausen reverses a powerbomb into a Victory Roll and wins at 8:30. This match is my kind of stupid, 1 for 2.
Danhausen vs. Psycho Mike
Cross Body Pro Wrestling Academy - February 15th 2020
Danhausen is ready for COVID-19 era conspiracy theories as he's donning a tin foil hat and encouraging fans to make their own. I'm not sure what about Mike is supposed to be so psychotic, other than his fondness for pelvic thrusting to his music. Danhausen has mistaken Mike for a psychic, which explains the hat. MIke thinks this is poppycock, which is a little too close to profanity for Danhausen's liking. Mike decides to embrace his newly discovered psychic powers, and a fake advertisement for his psychic hotline plays over the PA system. Mike lunges and Danhausen loses his hat while hitting a dropkick. Danhausen won't take anymore chances and straps the hat to his head. Mike bounces Danhausen's head against the apron and removes the tinfoil hat, which causes "Tequila" to play over the house system. Mike is trapped in the dancing spell and eats a superkick for 2. Naturally, this leads to a psychic duel, they'll be lucky to escape with their minds intact. They both collapse and trade ironically dramatic nearfalls. "If I can't beat you with my mind, I'll beat you with my strength," says Mike as they trade forearms. They get caught in a psychic mindlink and cannot stop copying each other. Mike hits a suplex for 1, Danhausen answers with a German. Mike gets a mouthful of teeth (HE'S ALLERGIC) and gets DDTed to lose at 13:33. It takes a lot of effort to be this strange, 2 for 3.
Danhausen vs. Mike Bennett
New South Pro Wrestling - April 20th 2021
Mike plays a dangerous game by putting on Danhausen's cape, which offends the friendly demon. They still share an honorable-hausen handshake. Bennett grabs a headlock, Danhausen reverses into a very nice, very technical headscissors. Bennett reverses back into the headlock, and this is still way more dignified for him than the cuckold angles WWE was giving him. Danhausen shows more craftiness reversing into an armbar. Bennett shifts gears by throwing chops. Danhausen runs into a lariat, but answers with a leaping rana. Danhausen hits a flying knee from the apron, but Mike bounces off the ropes to hit a forearm. Bennett takes control like a good WWE midcard heel. Danhausen surprises with a German suplex. They trade chops until Danhausen nails another suplex. Danhausen scores a flurry of offense, including a floatover release German! He dumps teeth into Bennett's mouth and hits a pump kick for 2. Bennett counters an octopus with a Death Valley Driver, then hits a piledriver for a great nearfall! Hammerlock DDT by Bennett, then a London Dungeon! Danhausen tries raking the eyes, but ultimately taps at 12:48! Great effort, this was the first match in this compilation that tried to deliver some workrate instead of shenanigans, 3 for 4.
Winner: Mike Bennett
The Bouncers (Brian Milonas and Beer City Bruiser, with Ken Dixon) vs. PCO and Danhausen
Ring of Honor - July 11th 2021
This is from the Best in the World pre show. Danhausen gets spooked by his entrance smoke. The Bouncers have a new mean attitude and attack before the bell. The Bouncers hit Danhausen with a double team spinebuster. PCO gets a hot tag around the 4 minute mark and totally runs wild. PCO plays a Frankenstein monster, maybe I should give him a compilation review next year. PCO hits a somersault senton on Bruiser and cannonball senton on Milonas. Danhausen thinks he can chokeslam Bruiser, fails, but PCO assists for a tandem chokeslam. Sadly, PCO's brain malfunctions and he chases Danhausen to ringside, where he accidentally hits a cannonball on Bruiser. Milonas jumps off the apron onto PCO, but the camera missed it. Bruiser hits a sick Vader Bomb to outside! Danhausen flies into the arms of Milonas, but he leaps to the apron for a rana into the ring post! PCO comes back to life while Bruiser headbutts Danhausen. Out come the teeth for the pump kick, and he hits a DVD onto a pile of teeth. That leaves Bruiser down for PCO's moonsault to win at 9:14. This was wacky and totally over delivered, 4 for 5.
Winners: PCO and Danhausen
Danhausen vs. Darin Corbin
F1RST WRESTLING - October 1st 2021
The packed crowd chants "F*ck you, Corbin" as if it were actually Baron Corbin in front of them. Darin wants the fans to shut up, but Danhausen thinks that's rude and threatens to curse him. Darin taunts with a crotch chop, so Danhausen punishes with a flurry of offense. Danhausen dances to "Tequila" while hitting kicks from the apron. Corbin blocks a chokeslam and hits The Stroke. Sitout powerbomb by Darin gets 2. Danhausen tries a demonic comeback, but Darin hits a spear for 2. Darin misses a charge and eats a German suplex. Danhausen hits a drop toe hold into the buckles to buy some time. He follows with a floatover German suplex! He goes for the teeth, but Darin rolls him up. Danhausen finally gets the teeth into Darin's mouth and hits the pump kick for 2. Danhausen hits a chokeslam into the scattered teeth but Corbin kicks out! Darin hits clotheslines but can't get a pin. Danhausen blocks a GTS and nails a cutter onto the teeth. He hits Goodnight Hausen, but Corbin rolls outside. Corbin surprises an inside cradle, then a rope assisted cover ends it at 11:28! BOOOOOOOO! I'm not mad, that was a ghost reference. This was solid, and had the right mix and silliness and action, 5 for 6.
Winner: Darin Corbin
Tony Nese and Smart Mark Sterling vs. Hookhausen (Hook and Danhausen)
All Elite Wrestling - May 29th 2022
This is from the Double or Nothing Buy-in special, and this counts, although I had to fast-forward through about 50 minutes of non-Danhausen content. The fans absolutely adore Hookhausen, to the point that it doesn't matter that Nese and Sterling aren't over whatsoever. Hook gets a pop for removing Nese from the ring. Danhausen tags himself in, Nese lets him go for a headlock, and counters into a shoulder tackle. Nese misses an elbow drop, and Danhausen curses him before hitting a rana. Sterling tries to interfere, but gets cursed as well. Nese tackles Danhausen to take over the match. Sterling hits a decent suplex but comedically misses a leg drop. Nese prevents a tag, but Danhausen hits a suplex. Hook gets the super hot tag and obliterates Nese with moves his dad taught him. Hook drags Sterling in, but pauses to suplex Nese. Sterling eats an overhead throw as well, and the fans loooove Hook. Danhausen asks for a tag and finishes Sterling with a cocky pin at 5:43. This was the first ever ******* match. 6 for 7.
Final Thoughts: Might was well end this on an AEW note. Danhausen isn't the greatest in-ring performer I've seen, but he more than makes up for it with creativity, charm, and strong character work. I actually felt like the more I watched, the more I got into his entire shtick. If you've only seen bits and pieces of what he does in AEW, take some time and see the man work on Youtube.
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