WWF Wrestling Challenge – February 12, 1995
by Scrooge McSuck
- In the on-going run of random episodes of Challenge (or whatever else I come across), here’s another trip down memory lane, a trip I won’t be enjoying much. 1995 is quite easily, in my opinion, the worst and nonsensical years in wrestling history. Gimmicks that made no sense, horrible storylines, horrible booking decisions… just nothing worth half of a damn. And considering Wrestling Challenge was jack shit by 1995, you have to believe nothing worth note is going to be happening on this show. Before I get to the review, I want to wish everyone, especially a certian special someone, a Happy New Year. OK, with that sappy stuff out of the way...
- For the 67,340,503 of you who didn't watch Challenge in 1995, I’d like to remind you that the commentary team consists of Gorilla Monsoon and Ted Dibiase. They argue over wether or not Bam Bam Bigelow will apologize to Lawrence Taylor about the incident from Royal Rumble.
- “Man-O-War” Aldo Montoya vs. Ray Hudson:
Montoya is probably more famous for his stint as Justin Credible in ECW… or maybe for the jock strap he’s wearing as a mask while working under this gimmick. Lockup, and Montoya applies a standing side headlock. Monsoon brings up an altercation between Montoya and MANTAUR that occurred on the Action Zone a few weeks back. Montoya sends the scrub out of the ring, and follows out with a plancha. Wristlock and short arm takedown by Montoya. Hudson with a series of jobber rights in the corner. Irish whip to the corner, and Montoya springs off the middle rope with a diving forearm. Irish whip, and Montoya with a double thrust to the chest, followed by a diving clothesline. Irish whip to the corner, and Montoya follows in with a running dropkick. Montoya to the top, and a springboard bulldog is enough for the three count. Decent outing for a squash match. Montoya seemed like he knew what he was doing in there. Makes me wonder what made him turn to shit a few years later.
- The Blu Brothers (w/ Uncle Zebekiah) vs. Bill Weaver & Shawn Dakota:
Ugh, the Blu’s, “Jacob” and “Eli.” For those who need a history of these guys, before coming to the WWF they were the Bruise Brothers, and after this gimmick, they went on to be the Grimm Twins, the Dicyples of Apocalypse’s Skull and 8-Ball, some goofy name in WCW, then finally “The Harris Boys.” Oh, and Zebekiah is Dirty Dutch Mantell. Never once did they get over, by the way. Dibiase argues the difference between “Hillbillies” and “Mountain Men.” Jacob hammers away on Dakota in the corner, but misses a charge. He didn’t miss the second chance, though. Jacob pulls the scrub to the corner by his hair, and Eli tags in to punish him with the usual offense of punchy-kicky. Weaver gets a non-too excited tag, and Eli pulls him in from the apron. Jacob tags back in to stomp away on Weaver. Jacob with a charging boot to the chest. Irish whip, and Jacob with another boot. Eli tags in again, because this match won’t end. Modified back suplex by Eli, but he refuses to make a cover. The Blu’s tie Weaver in the ropes, then coonect with a double boot to the face. Irish whip, and Jacob spine busters Weaver, then Eli drops a leg for the three count. Blech, this just went on and on like a telethon for one of those diseases no one cares about.
- Lex Luger vs. The Brooklyn Brawler:
Luger was made in the USA at this point, and of course, that means his career in the WWF was already in the shitter. And no, despite what you might want to believe, this is not a feature match. Luger also has a retarded looking flag bearer. Maybe he was a Special Olympics participant. The WWF sure was obsessed with those people in 1995. Challenge is brought to you by Slim Jim! This Sunday on the Action Zone, Lex Luger battles with Tatanka. Set your VCR’s now! Lockup, and Luger applies a wristlock, then switches to an armbar. Irish whip to escape, and Luger runs over the Brawler with a shoulder block. Monsoon actually pulls off a “Will You Stop!?!” on Dibiase. Irish whip is reversed, and Luger takes Brawler over with a hip toss. Luger with a scoop slam. Irish whip is reversed, but Brawler posts himself on a charge into the corner. Luger goes back to working over the arm of the Brawler. Brawler reaches the ropes to escape and elbows Luger in the mouth. Irish whip and back elbow by Brawler, followed by a stomp to the lower midsection. Dibiase makes fun of the fact Lex Loser… er, Luger, is being handled by the Brawler. Luger even does his over-sell of being rammed into the buckle. Irish whip, and he Brawler connects with a clothesline. Brawler to the top rope, but Luger catches him and slams the Brawler off. Luger with a series of charging clotheslines. Irish whip, and Luger with a powerslam. Luger calls for it… yes, it’s THE REBEL RACK! That’s enough for the submission victory for Lex Loser. Hey, I’m surprised that the Brawler got so much offense over someone like Luger. Oh, and Monsoon does another “Will You Stop!?!” after the match.
- King Kong Bundy (w/ Ted Dibiase) vs. John Snakowski:
Dibiase ditches his position at the broadcast position to be in Bundy’s corner, so that means Monsoon is going it solo in the broadcast booth. Does anyone else find it hilarious that the WWF was pushing “the New Generation”, yet guys like King Kong Bundy were brought back and given large enough roles in the company to be featured on PPV’s? Last week on Superstars, the Undertaker took on Henry Godwinn, but because of Dibiase and Bundy stealing the urn at the Royal Rumble, he wasn’t as dominating in no-selling. Bundy sends the jobber to the corner, and he posts himself. He’s got some weird ring attire, too. Bundy keeps him on the outside, for whatever reason. Back in the ring, and Bundy continues to dominate, doing very, very little. Irish whip o the corner, and the scrub over-sells. Stop showing up the talent, scrub! Whip across the ring, and more over-selling. Jesus, Bundy looks old as shit, and he was only gone for a little more than five years. Whip to the corner, and the Avalanche connects. Bundy covers, but he wants a five-count… but he doesn’t take it. Weird. So does that mean the match should’ve continued? Horrible squash.
- Men on a Mission (w/ Oscar) vs. Butch Long & Adam Croom:
The parade of shit workers continues, in the form of Mabel and Mo. Mabel, for those new to wrestling, might recognize him as Viscera, or maybe currently as Big Daddy V. Mo vanished sometime the next year, probably into Mabel’s belly. Oscar was just some black guy who “rapped” badly and probably had no business being in wrestling. The production crew uses a lot of horrible camera work for MOM’s entrance, nearly giving me a seizure. Scrub #1 puts Mabel in a side headlock, but is quickly put down with a shoulder block. Mabel with a choke lift and slam. Monsoon informs me this scrub is Long, not Hard. Mabel with an enziguri, followed by a diving clothesline. Ouch. Croom tags in and walks right into a spinning heel kick from Mabel. Mo tags in for the first time and works Croom over. Irish whip, and Mo with a hip toss, followed by a scoop slam. Arm drag and armbar applied by Mo. Croom thumbs the eyes to escape, and Mo comes back by slamming him back with a pull of the hair. Dibiase compares Mo to a dancing bear. Thank goodness he didn’t say monkey. Irish whip, and Mo connects with a reverse crescent kick… he stole Shawn’s finisher! Irish whip, drop toe hold, and Mabel with a fat-assed leg drop, and Mo with a semi-fat-assed elbow drop. Mo whips Mabel into the scrub in the corner of the ring, and the Mo-leverage-dropping-Mabel move in the corner is more than enough for a three count. At least it was kept shorter than some of the squashes on this show.
- Mantaur (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. Ben Jordan:
Please God, stop this nonsense! Another crappy wrestler and gimmick! Mantaur doesn’t have his bulls-head thing anymore, but he still looks fucking ridiculous. Two fans go crazy in the crowd, and one of them is wearing a DOINK shirt, so we know how much he knows about wrestling. Mantaur squashes Jordan in the corner at the bell, then tosses him across the ring a few times. Irish whip, and Jordan boots Mantaur, followed by a series of diving back elbows and a dropkick. Mantaur no-sells it all, and takes Jordan over with a belly-to-belly suplex. Scoop slam by Mantaur, followed by a jumping elbow drop. MOO! Several Snuka-sized headbutts by Mantaur, while Cornette talks trash from ringside. Irish whip to the corner, and Mantaur catches Jordan in his arms for a lame spinebuster for the three count. Mantaur’s theme music also has moo’ing, which seems a bit odd. I could’ve sworn only cows moo’ed, and cows are female.
- Man Mountain Rock vs. Reno Riggins:
MMR is making his in-ring debut in the WWF, after weeks of playing the guitar for no reason, and wearing more tie-die than Superstar Billy Graham. MMR is fresh off a run in the WCW as “Maxx Payne” or whatever the fucking spelling was for his gimmick rather than the video game. To think, the only thing he did of note was have his guitar smashed up by MR. Bob Backlund. Rock offers a handshake, but Riggins smacks it away. Lockup, and they are forced to break in the corner. Lockup #2, and Riggins pulls the hair for a leverage advantage. Stomping in the corner by Riggins, but Rock throws him back into the corner and flattens him with a clothesline. Irish whip, and MMR catches Riggins across the side of the head with an elbow. MMR with a suplex, followed by a roundhouse left. Irish whip, and MMR applies an abdominal stretch, then plays the air guitar on his ribs. MMR quickly turns that into a front-drop suplex, which has a RIDICULOUS name announced by Monsoon, something “Walapalooza”, but who cares? That’s enough for the three count. I just noticed MMR theme music sounds familiar. I think Albert and Droz might’ve used it, or someone else from the Attitude Era.
- Next Week on Wrestling Challenge, Double J Jeff Jarrett is in action! A Special interview with the Royal Rumble winner, Shawn Michaels. Bob “Spark Plugg” Holly is in singles competition, and so much more! Ted Dibiase trashes Lawrence Taylor before Monsoon can sign off for the broadcast. Monsoon tosses his head set and walks off, as Dibiase continues to rant at L.T.
Final Thoughts: Blech! I didn’t know the “Live Event News” segments were cut out, but those were pretty lame for the time frame. There’s no feature matches, they no longer did “Update” and “Special Report”, and the squashes were way too long. Finally, look at the talent featured on this show, a pure golden moment of what the WWF was producing in 1995. The Blu Twins, Men on a Mission, Man Mountain Rock, Mantaur, a 50 Year-Old King Kong Bundy, Aldo Montoya, and a unmotivated Lex Luger were all showcased, and only Luger had enough credibility at this point of his career to warrant a legitimate push. I don’t think I want to watch another one of these shows for a long time.