WWF WrestleMania XVI
by Scrooge McSuck
Note: This is a re-post of a review done about 8-9 months ago. No idea if I psoted it here, and I'm too lazy to either search the other pages or do a new review.
- Another Note: I actually did order the All Day Long thing, and would've reviewed it all if my brain didn't start hurting once I reached Wrestlemania VI, so odds of ever seeing a complete review of that is very unlikely. This also marked the first Wrestlemania to feature a main event for the World Title where it wasn't one-on-one, which is funny because Shawn Michaels was the one pushing for the WM XV Main Event to not include Mankind in a 3-way, but for WM XX, was part of the Main event in a 3-way... hypocrite. Anyway, let's get to the shit... I mean show.
- Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are on commentary for this Wrestlemania, and Lilian Garcia sings the national anthem before most fans had any idea who the hell she was... basically a C-level singer that does the national anthem a lot. I also might add the background beat to the Wrestlemania theme was recycled for Rodney Mack/Theodore Long over the past few years.
- The Godfather & D'lo Brown (w/ Ice T & Ho's) vs. Big Boss Man & Bull Buchanon:
What a way to open the show with, excuse me while I throw up (or throw out) into my nearby garbage can. I like D'lo, and used to like Boss Man, but by this time he was way past it, and the other two guys suck. Ice T does some kind of shitty rap for the team of Godfather and D'lo. Looks like some guy has an I love Boss Man and Bull sign... well, it's California. Brown and Buchanon start for their teams. Brown ducks a clothesline and hammers on Bull with rights. Irish whip is reversed, but Brown fails at a roll up. Bull misses a clothesline, and Brown takes him down with a standing side heel kick. Godfather comes in to take out Boss Man, while Brown puts Bull down with a back elbow. Godfather tags in and takes down Bull with a scoop slam followed by the pimp leg drop. Irish whip, and Godfather with a back elbow. What the hell is Godfather wearing? It makes the Full Energy pajamas look good. Boss Man tags in, but soon gets taken control of by the Godfather. Irish whip, and Godfather with a fist to the midsection and standing heel kick for a two count. Brown tags back in, but Boss Man punches him in the mouth and tags in Bull. Brown sends him to the buckle, and mounts him for some punches. Irish whip to the corner, and Bull leaps to the top rope and comes off with a clothesline. I'll admit, that was pretty awesome. Buchanon with a scoop slam, but Brown is no selling like it's on sell for $19.95. Double team Boss Man style punch from the outside gets a two count. Boss Man with a headbutt, followed by a big boot. Buchanon gets the tag in and nails a scissors kick that puts Booker T to shame for a two count. Brown gets dumped outside, where Boss Man comes in and slams him across the security rail. Lawler of course, ignores the match completely, further proving why no one likes his old wrinkled ass except Gold Diggin Sluts. Bull whips Brown to the corner, who does his best to pretend to be Bret Hart. Boss Man tags in for a double back elbow that barely connects for another two count. Bull comes in without a tag and applies a bearhug, a.k.a my least favorite wrestling move. Brown fights free, but gets taken out moments later. Irish whip, and the B-Men continue to do very little in terms of double teaming. Brown with a series of rights, but a press slam attempt is blocked with a back breaker for a two count. Buchanon in again, and he comes off the top rope with a double axehandle. I forgot how agile Buchanon was for someone his size. Back breaker by Bull, and he goes to the top rope, but the Godfather crotches him. Brown climbs up now, and takes down Bull with a hurricanrana! The Godfather gets the hot tag and hammers away on Buchanon, and takes him down with a back drop. Clothesline to Boss Man, and Godfather whips him into Bull. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, but Boss Man misses a charge. Godfather nails the Ho Train, and Brown tags in fr the Frog splash, but gets shoved off. Irish whip, and Brown nails a dropkick. Boss Man catches him off the ropes with the Sidewalk Slam, and Bull nails the big leg drop off the top rope for the three count at 9:06. ** I'm sorry I said anything earlier, because this was a surprisingly good match considering the participants. Maybe that or I have a soft spot for being impressed.
- WWF Hardcore Championship; Time Limit Battle Royale (15 Minutes):
(Participants: Crash Holly (Champion), Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Hardcore Holly, TAKA Michinoku, Sho Funaki, Headbanger Mosh, Headbanger Thrasher, Bradshaw, Faarooq)
Ah... here's a match I'll actually have fun with, when the Hardcore Title last meant anything, thanks to Crash Holly (Rest in Peace) and his over the top run as Champion. Basically everyone in this match was a big loser that had nothing else to do, especially since most of them were barely able to win matches in 2000. Hell, maybe I'll review the WWF Hardcore DVD spotlighting the Hardcore Title (and a few other things) from 1999-2001. I'm still surprised WWF never did anything with Taz(z), but that's the breaks. 5 years later, and Bradshaw Co-Main Events Wrestlemania... weird. Everyone brawls, with Tazz and Crash being the only ones in the ring. Viscera catches Crash with a nasty looking over-head belly to belly suplex for the 1st victory at 0:24. Tazz goes after Viscera, but that goes nowhere as he gets rammed into the ring post and Viscera follows with a powerslam for the 2nd victory at 1:01.
Hardcore blasts Crash with something, so Tazz hammers on him in retaliation. Viscera smacks Rodney with a japanese flag and Bradshaw nails Thrasher with a fan. Mosh gets nailed with a cooking sheet by Viscera, but the MSP double team him with some various objects. Bradshaw with a road sign on Viscera as we see Crash is busted open from that floor fan shot by Hardcore. Faarooq nails Vis with what looks like a lead pipe, but he fights back on both APA guys with the cooking sheet. Thrasher beats on Crash with a tennis racket, and Viscera kills Joey Abs with a fan. Bradshaw kills people with a trash can, and Viscera works over Crash. Bradshaw kills various people with another cooking sheet, but Tazz returns the favor. Hardcore floors Vis with a trash can lid for a two count. Mosh nails a bunch of people wih a road sign for a two count of his own. Crash gets killed with a fan shot by Trasher. TAKA nails Mosh with a tennis racket, and Funaki goes after Vis with a trash can lid. Rodney hits Funaki with something, so Thrasher hits him from behind. Everyone smacks away on Viscera with various things, as a busted Gas gets thrown into the security rail by Faarooq. Abs kills Tazz with a cooking sheet, and the action finally goes back in the ring. Viscera nails Thrasher with a cooking sheet, and follows with shots on Rodney and Funaki, then knocks TAKA off the apron. Faarooq comes in and tosses Mosh, then destroys Funaki with a Dominator. Bradshaw with a powerbomb on TAKA, then the APA double slam Viscera off the top rope. Bradshaw breaks a 2x4 over the head of Viscera, and Bradshaw nails a top rope shoulder tackle. They toss the guys of Kaientai on top for the three count at 7:12, but Funaki is declared the winner.
TAKA nails Funaki with a big right, then chases him around the ring with the Japanese flag and backstage the action goes. Thrasher catches him with a pipe shot, then the MSP throw him into some rails. Rodney tosses Abs aside and covers for three at 8:09. Abs nails him with a clothesline and suplexes him for the win at 8:23. Thrasher nails him with something, then rams him into a steel wall and clothesline for another victory at 8:43. Mosh nails his own partner with a pipe, then Vis blasts him with something. Thrasher gets nailed by farious crap, but it's Pete Gas, who looks to have nailed an artery, who get's the cover after a fire extinguisher shot at 9:28. He's Hardcore!
Tazz drags Pete Gas back into the ring, and I don't like his odds of surviving. Tazz pounds away on Gas with rights, then nails a T-Bone Suplex on the outside for his second victory at 10:15. Hardcore actually broke up the pin, but it was ignored. Hardcore hammers on Tazz, and rams him into the steel steps for a two count. Crash finally comes back to life, but Tazz and Hardcore remain with each other. Mosh nails Hardcore from behind with a road sign then covers Tazz for two. That honestly got a chuckle out of me. Everyone is laid out as Mosh covers Tazz for another two count. Hardcore tosses Tazz back in the ring and Crash comes in for double teaming, but Tazz takes him down and hammers away. Hardcore stomps away on Tazz, and Crash nails him with a trash can lid. Tazz then nails Crash with it, and... goes for a pin? Hardcore with an elbow drop on Tazz as Bradshaw destroys Abs with various objects outside the ring. The Holly's fight over a cover on Tazz, and Faarooq works over Viscera. Tazz with another suplex on Crash, and Hardcore comes in with a powerslam on Tazz for a two count. Why does the referee keep counting for Tazz when he's the Champion? Irish whip and Hardcore with his signature dropkick for a two count. Tazz with a northern lights suplex on Hardcore, but Crash comes in from behind with a cooking sheet and covers for the victory at 14:24! That lasts very shortly, as Tazz applies the Tazmission to crahs to a MONSTER pop. Hardcore comes in though and KO's both men with a candy jar, and accidentally wins the title from Crash at 14:59, and remains champion for the last second. I say accidentally, because the plan was for Crash to retain, but a time goof had Hardcore win the title because of a 2 second lapse. Crash won the title back the next night, so who cares? *** The most entertaining garbage brawl WWF had done in my opinion, but the best Hardcore title match is still Raven vs. Rhyno from Backlash 2001. Closer look shows that Hardcore used Jim Ross' candy jar... HIGH-larious.
- Steve Blackman & Al Snow vs. T & A (w/ Trish Stratus):
Blech... now THIS match sucks, and everyone knows it. Hell, I'm barely going to do this match seriously, that's how bad it is. Al Snow brings out a midget in a block of cheese as their mascot for the match, who's name is "Chester McCheeserton"... God damn is this horrible. I know I've said it before, but Al Snow was really misused in the WWF, and I mean forever. Test and Albert suck, and for some reason, Trish doesn't look very hot here, and thats amazing because... well, I've said too much already (gets spooge rag). Instead of PBP for everything, I'll just do the horrible stuff and botches. Test hammers away on Blackman, but gets taken down with a heel kick. the crowd is absolutely DEAD. Snow with some punches to Test, but he gets taken down by a clothesline. Albert tags in and nails a avalanche in the corner, followed by a Test big boot for a two count. Snow fights back with rights, but gets whipped to the corner, only to come back with a clothesline. Albert blocks a high kick, but Snow puts him down with an enziguri for a two count. Blackman tags in for some basic stuff, and pouts ALBERT down with a shoulder block. Irish whip is reversed, and Albert returns the favor. Blackman sweeps the legs from under Albert, and Snow comes in with a slingshot leg drop.. and Long counts for Blackman on Albert, despite tagging out to Snow, and now Snow gets a count. Really slow two count by Long as Snow covers Albert. Snap suplex by Snow, followed by some stomping. Irish whip, and the Head Cheese team put Albert down with a double back elbow. Blackman with a headbutt off the top rope for a two count. Wake up, dammit! Anahiem is the worst crowd ever. Snow comes in with a sledge off the top rope, but Albert takes him over with a double underhook suplex. Test tags in with clotheslines, then boots Blackmand and side slams Snow for two. T & A with a double powerbomb, but it took about 5 years to set it up, and even Jim Ross makes fun of the botching, then calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow with an Asai Moonsault on Albert, and I'm more amazed Jim Ross called it corerectly! Guillotine leg drop by snow on Test, but Albert breaks the pin. Baldo Bomb to Snow, and Blackman gets taken down with a scoop slam, then Test is press slammed on top for a two count. Outside the ring, the Cheese guy keeps going for Trish, so Blackman has to yell at him. Stuff happens, and Test pins Black man with a top rope elbow at 7:03. I'll be nice and say DUD, because this match really reslly SUCKED. Afterwards, Snow and Blackman beat the crap out of Chester The Mollester. It's as if these two teams have never wrestled each other before, because this was just blech.
- Backstage segment sees the WWF try and show as much of a naked women they can without actually showing anything, and of course, it's in the form of The Kat/Miss Kitty/Stacy Carter. Silly jokes include holding a t-shirt with a pussycat and bottles of water over her unmentionables... NEXT! (gets spooge rag again)
- WWF-Tag Team Championship; Triple Threat Ladder Match:
The Dudley Boyz © vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. Edge & Christian:
Before all of the TLC Matches, there was the first Triple Threat Tag Team Ladder Match, and here it is. Since the E&C v. Hardy Ladder Match from Judgment Day '99 was so popular, I guess it stuck and they tossed in the Dudleyz for more effect. Footage from earlier in the night on Heat sees the Hardys and E&C brawling. Jeff gives himself 21 years worth of bad luck by going under all three ladders in the entrance aisle. Edge and Christian attacks the Hardys from behind, then go after the Dudleys in the aisle. The Hardys soon join the brawl, and all heck breaks loose. D'Von hits on Edge with a ladder, while Christian nails Matt with a dropkick inside the ring. Bubba works over Jeff Hardy outside the ring while inside Edge nails D'Von with a spinning heel kick. Bubba works on Jeff in the ring now with nasty slaps across the chest, but Jeff comes off the top with a corkscrew moonsault. Irish whip, and Bubba Ray press slams Jeff into the sky and follows with the Bubba Bomb. Christian sets up the ladder already but Matt tosses him off and goes himself. D'Von brings a second ladder into the ring as Edge follows in for some E&C Double teaming. Matt goes after Bubba Ray and sends him to the corner, and in comes Jeff again to smack Bubba in the face with a ladder. Jeff with the Poetry in Mention, but Christians attempt on D'Von doesn't work, and the Hardys nail Edge with a Ladder-Clothesline. Matt slams D'Von onto the ladder, and follows with a second rope elbow drop. Bubba comes after Jeff, but gets taken down with a DDT, and now Jeff sets him up on the Ladder. Jeff goes to the top rope, and misses a 450 splash onto the ladder! Bubba ray with a slam on Jeff while Christian takes down Matt with a modified DDT. Bubba Ray back splashes a ladder on top of Jeff and Christian works over D'Von in the corner. Edge comes off the top with a Ladder across another ladder across Matt, who sells like his balls fell off. D'Von with a scoop slam on Edge, then slams a Ladder on top of him and comes off the top with a leg drop across the face. Everyone but Bubba Ray is down, then he gets Three Stooge fever and puts the Ladder around his head and nails everyone with it in the face. Double dropkick by E&C stop his momentum though. Edge sets a ladder in the corner and flap jacks D'Von into the corner. Christian climbs up the ladder near the ropes, and jumps down with a plancha on Bubba Ray and Matt!! Jeff tries climbing the ladder as we get out first "Holy shit" chant. Edge climbs the top and nails a spear to take Hardy off the ladder! This would be topped at the next years Wrestlemania, though. Edge sets up the ladder now and starts climbing, but Matt comes back for revenge form the year 2005 and nails a sit-out crucifix powerbomb! Matt starts climbing now, so D'Von stops him and slams him off in a manner that looks lame. Now it's D'Vons turn to climb, so Christian smashes another ladder into him. Christian tries his luck, so Bubba sets up a ladder next to him, and connects with the Diamond cutter from the tops of the ladders!!
The Hardys clear out some space and dump Christian out of the ring. The duo climb up seperate ladders and connect with a simultanious splash and leg drop from the ladders! D'Von finally wakes up, and Christian dumps out Jeff really hard. D'Von and Christian climb up a ladder in the corner while Edge sets up a ladder to climb up. Edge is up, and E&C take over D'Von with a super-plex from the top of the ladder! Matt tries setting up a ladder while everyone plays dead. Edge, Christian and the Hardys all climb up the two ladders... Christian face busters Jeff off, and Matt russian leg sweeps Edge from the other side! Bubba Ray comes back to life as the crowd chants for a table. All three ladders are set up, and everyone climbs them. Christian and Jeff take the suicide fall all the way to the floor(!), Edge shoves off Bubba, who shoves over everyone else in the process, and now the only people left are the Dudleys. Christian tries a comeback, but he becomes the meat of a Ladder Sandwich. Edge tries his luck, but gets nailed with the 3-D! Here come the Tables!!! We get about 4 tables brought out for destruction while anyone not named Dudley just dies. The Dudleys set up two ladders, then put a table on top of both of them as a sort of platform. They try their luck, but the Hardys return, and take them out to boos. Two ladders get set up in the ring, but Matt sends Bubba outside with the use of the pants. Matt gets sent into the ring steps and Bubba sets up another ladder. Bubba and Matt go up on the Spanish announce table, and Bubba powerbombs Matt through the table!! Inside the ring, D'Von comes off the ladder and misses a diving headbutt through another table! Jeff returns from the dead and runs the rail, so Bubba throws a ladder in his face! I fucking love this match! Bubba brings out a super-sized ladder and sets up another table in the aisle. Christian comes from behind and nails Bubba with the ring bell, so Jeff shows he's a nice guy by throwing Christian into the security rail. Jeff climbs up the super-ladder and comes off with the Senton Bomb through the Table on Bubba!! Holy Shit chant once more for that stunt. Inside the ring (eventually) we go, and D'Von takes down Christian with an electric chair drop. D'Von starts climbing a ladder, but Matt makes his second return from death and nails the Twist of Fate. Matt and Christian climb up opposite ladders onto the table... Edge FINALLY comes back in the ring, and in probably a symbol of future, Edge stabs Matt in the back and throws him off the table and through another table in the ring! That's good enough for E&C to win their first of many tag titles at 22:29. **** Originally I thought the match wouldn't hold up to what it was back when it first happend, but I was pleasently surprised. Damn good match that set the bar for future matches, and has only been topped once since then.
- Catifight Match:
The Kat (w/ Mae Young) vs. Terri Runnels (w/ Fabulous Moolah):
I'm not even going to bother doing a review for this match, but I'll just nail a couple of key points. Val Venis, who I guess wasn't worthy enough to even challenge for the Hardcore Title, is the special referee (and has a special zebra towel), and the rules are the winner is the first person to throw their opponent out of the ring. The highlight of the match is the Kat's very unusual ring attire, which gives us a lot of nice butt shots. Terri wins with the help of Moolah at 2:24, but who cares? Afterwards Mae and Kitty get their heat back by ripping off Terri's pants. (gets spooge rag again) Damn this is a busy night... I understand they needed something to put on that no one cared about after that last match, but couldn't they get real wrestlers? I won't even bother actually giving this a real rating, because it wasn't a real match.
- Too Cool & Chyna vs. Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn:
There was some kind of angle between Too Cool and the Radicalz, but I forget, and Eddie wants Chynas shenis and saggy implants. Too Cool weren't annoying here, which is amazing, because I hate Brian Christopher a.k.a Grandmaster Sexay (like Bud Bundy as Grandmaster B' on Married with Children). Eddie and Scotty start the match for their teams. Eddie with a side headlock, followed by a shoulder block. Criss cross sequence and Scotty with a monkey flip on Eddie, followed by a tilt-o-whirl back breaker. Chyna tags in, but Eddie runs and tags in Malenko. He blocks a kick by Chyna, but she takes him down with a sloppy clothesline. Irish whip is reversed, and Malenko with a pretty stiff boot to the midsection. Scotty with a cheap clothesline, and GMS tags in for a double suplex. OK, now I know why I hate Too Cool... the goofy ass dancing. GMS with a series of rights, followed by a scoop slam on Malenko. Eddie comes in again, but finds himself on the receiving end of a back suplex. GMS goes to the top rope, but Saturn tosses him off. Eddie with a dropkick, and Saturn tags in for some punishment. Saturn stomps away on GMS, and tags in Malenko for a double clothesline. Eddie tags in quickly and connects with a snap suplex. Irish whip, but Eddie gets caught with a kick in the face. Scotty gets the mild tag and gets hot shot across the top rope for his troubles. Back suplex by Guerrero, and he follows with a slingshot senton across the chest of S2H. Eddie with a cheap shot on Chyna, but falls victim to some cheating of Too Cool as GMS suplexes Eddie to the outside. Scotty fights off Saturn and takes him down with a bulldog. Double W-O-R-M! Eddie runs into a clothesline by Scotty, then hides in Jack Doans crotch. Outside the ring, Saturn and Malenko take Scotty apart, and whips him into the crowd. Back inside the ring, and Eddie kills Scotty with a european uppercut. Irish whip, and Saturn comes in with a reverse crescent kick. Saturn goes to the top rope now and nails (actually missed) the elbow drop. Eddie goes up top now, but Scotty crotches him. Scotty climbs up now, and takes over Eddie with a super-plex! Chyna gets the hot tag, and double clothesline Malenko and Saturn, but Eddie keeps running. Scoop slams all around, and Chyna nails the goofy elbows in the corner followed by double low blows. Eddie runs in with a cheap shot from behind, but Chyna blocks a powerbomb and nails one of her own. Eddie no sells it though, but walks into a crotch vice. Chyna with a press slam, followed by a sleeper drop for a three count at 9:40?! **3/4 Outside of the very abrupt ending, this was pretty good, which I found quite shocking because Chyna sucked, Brian Christopher is a hard person to carry, and Scotty was hit or miss. This would prove to be pointless, as Chyna and Eddie hooked up the next night on Raw.
- WWF Intercontinental/European Championship; Triple Threat Match:
Kurt Angle (c/c) vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit:
Earlier tonight, we found out Bob Backlund was responsible for making this a double title match, so Angle beat him down and knocked him out of the WWF with the Chicken Wing, Backlunds own finishing move. Fall #1: The first fall is for the Intercontinental Championship, making the second fall pointless because the European Title was pretty much a more expensive piece of tin than the Hardcore Title. All three men are making their Wrestlemania Debuts. Benoit attacks Angle before the match begins, then Jericho comes in for some work. Irish whip, and we get a collision and clothesline spot. Irish whip again, and Jericho with a clothesline to Angle. He hammers on Benoit in the corner, but Angle interrupts. Benoit goes after Jericho now and chops him down in the corner. Irish whip, and Benoit attempts a back suplex, but Jericho escapes and sends him into the post. Jericho with a dropkick to Angle, but Benoit prevents a springboard dropkick attempt. Benoit beats on Angle, but Jericho nails the second attempt, and sends both men down to the floor. Jericho with a baseball slide to Benoit, but Angle catches him with a shot shot onto the steps. Back inside, and Angle with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex for a two count. Benoit with a big forearm to Angle, followed by a charging clothesline for another two count. Jericho with chops on Benoit in the corner, and a clothesline to Angle. Underhook back breaker by Jericho, and he goes to the top rope, but Benoit knocks him off and onto the announce table! Snap suplex by Benoit on Angle for a two count. Back suplex by Benoit, and he covers for another two count. Benoit hammers away on Angle, but Jericho comes in out of nowhere with a dropkick. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, but we get auncoordinated spot and Jericho nails Angle with a missile dropkick. Benoit breaks a pin attempt, and nails Jericho with a back breaker, but Angle breaks that pin up. Angle with a snap suplex on Benoit for another two count. Angle and Jericho pair up now, with Jericho taking him down with a running bulldog for another close count. Benoit kills Jericho with chops, but Angle interrupts with a back suplex, and Jericho breaks that pin up with a second rope axehandle. Jericho sends Angle packing and applies a camel clutch to Benoit. Jericho with a delayed vertical suplex on Angle, and Benoit takes the cheese for a pin attempt, which is broken by Jericho. Angle whips Jericho to the corner, but eats boot on the way in. Jericho tries a back suplex, but Angle counters with a tiger suplex for a two count. Benoit gets sent into the corner, but he blocks a Jericho sunset flip for another fall attempt. Angle with a boot to the face of Jericho and applies the crossface chicken wing, but Benoit breaks it up with a basement dropkick to the face of Angle to break it up. Benoit throws Angle into the crowd, and heads back up to the top rope with the diving headbutt for the first three count at 7:56 to become the NEW Intercontinental Champion.
Fall #2: For the European Championship... Angle attacks from behind and takes over Benoit with a suplex for a two count. Scoop slam by Angle, and he heads to the top rope, but Jericho crotchs him. Benoit then crotches Jericho with Angle, and follows with a back suplex! Angle then finally finishes his climbing, but misses a moonsault attempt on Benoit. We get a few two counts as all three men are down and out. Jericho with a double leg takedown on Angle, and applies the Liontamer, but Benoit breaks it with a nasty clothesline. Irish whip, and Benoit with a knee into the midsection, followed by stomps in the corner. Angle comes back into play and takes down Benoit with a slam. Angle hammers away on Jericho in the corner, but gets taken down with a forearm, and Jericho takes out Benoit with a spinning heel kick. Jericho with a boot to the midsection of Angle, followed by the Double Powerbomb! Benoit comes in and nails the rolling German Suplex trio on Jericho for a two count. Benoit then takes over Angle with a Full-Nelson Suplex, but Angle has his shoulder up, but still gets counted down for a two count. Jericho tries a diving forearm, but White gets nailed. Benoit catches Jericho charging with the Crippler Crossface, but theirs no referee to see the tapping out. Jericho then applies the Liontamer to Benoit, but Angle comes in with a belt shot on Jericho. Benoit pulls out Jericho before the three count can be made, and hammers away on Angle. Angle misses a clothesline, and Benoit takes him down with a back suplex. Benoit goes to the top rope, but misses the diving headbutt, and Jericho nails the Lionsault for the second pinfall at 13:48 to become the NEW European Champion! Angle lost both titles without even being part of either of the falls. ***1/2 Pretty good match, if a little on the repetitive side, but this was one of the better worked Triple Threat matches in the WWF, and felt much shorter than 14 minutes. Jerichos reign would be short lived, as he lost the title to Eddie Guerrero the next night on Raw.
- Kane & Rikishi (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. X-Pac & Road Dogg (w/ Tori):
Well this is going to suck. Kane and X-Pac had a never ending feud, and Rikishi had a minor score to settle with D-X, so instead of a Kane/X-Pac blowoff, we get a meaningless tag team match instead. Kane has his Road Unfirom (a.k.a the awesome black with red instead of red with black) and Paul Bearer looks even more evil. Tori slaps Paul, which leads to Kane going after her, but X-Pac makes the save. Kane beats him down as Rikishi nails the butt splash in the corner and the stink face 30 seconds into the match. Tori climbs into the ring, but gets bopped into the corner by Rikishi. X-Pac makes the save again, though. The bad guys try leaving, but they can't escape the power of the Dark Side. Kane beats on X-Pac and Rikishi does stuff to Road Dogg. Back inside the ring, and X-Pac nails the spinning heel kick on Rikishi, then works in the Bronco Buster 90 seconds into the match. Road Dogg gets the tag in for his signature jabs and funky knee drop for a two count. X-Pac comes in again with more kicks, but Rikishi no sells and press slams X-Pac into a diamond cutter type move. Kane gets the hot tag and clotheslines Road Dogg. Big boot to X-Pac, and another to Road Dogg. Irish whip is reversed, and Kane with a back drop on X-Pac. He clothesline Road Dogg out of the ring and nails a clothesline in the corner. Rikishi comes in illegally, but X-Pac bails. Road Dogg runs into a big boot, and Bearer tosses Tori into the ring. Kane throws her pretty damn hard into the corner, and now she gets the Stink Face! Kane with the Tombstone Piledriver on X-Pac, and it's all over at 4:16. 1/2* Only because I'm a Kane mark, and the crowd was alive for it. Afterwards, Too Cool run in for some celebrating, as does the San Diego Chicken. At least it makes sense, since they are at least in California this year. Kane won't dance though, and instead goes after the Mascot after a minute or two of dancing. Of course, it's just a decoy, as the Real Pete Rose runs in with a baseball bat, but Rikishi stops him, and Kane nails the Chokeslam. Rikishi then gives a third and final Stink Face of the night. That marks the third and last year Pete Rose got his ass kicked by Kane at Wrestlemania. Kane of course, lights his fire before he really leaves. Pete Rose sells better than half the roster, or maybe he's just sick from Rikishi's stank.
- WWF World Championship; Fatal Four Way Match:
Triple H © (w/ Stephanie McMahon) vs. The Rock (w/ Vince McMahon) vs. Mick Foley (w/ Linda McMahon) vs. Big Show (w/ Shane McMahon):
Dammit, how many multi-person matches did they have to put on this PPV? It's a pain in the ass to keep track of everyone. The Rock had won the Rumble match, but evidence shows that his feet touched before the Big Show, which set up a #1 Contender Match at No Way Out, where Shane McMahon returned and cost the Rock the match. However, the Rock eventually won back his right to challenge with the help of the returning Vince McMahon. Mick Foley had lost a retirement match at No Way Out, but Linda McMahon made him part of yhis as his last match ever in wrestling... well, he did stay retired for 4 years, so that's almost forever. If Foley were to win, the title would be held up and a Tournament would decide a new Champion at Backlash... so yeah, I kinda had picked Foley, but thinking about it, that sounds way too obvious and thus he would probably lose.
Foley goes after Triple H and the Rocker after Show. The heels take control, but the faces come back. Foley pounds on Hunter in the corner with rights and follows with a running knee into the face. Show nails the Rock with a headbutt, followed by some choking. Show with a double clothesline to Foley and Triple H, and he continues to work on Rocky. Show with a scoop slam on Foley, followed by a hip toss on Hunter. Irish whip, and Show with a press slam on the Rock. Triple H falls victim to the press slam, and Foley gets nailed with a headbutt. Show chokes on the Rock, but Foley makes the save with some fake raking and choking. Show though, squashes him with a back splash like at WM XV. The Rock makes a comeback on the Big Show with rights, but runs into a sidewalk slam. Triple H tries something, but gets caught in a goozle, but Foley kicks him in the balls. Foley pounds on Show with rights, and Triple joins for a double team, and the Rock joins for a triple team! Clotheslines by everyone, and the Rock finally drops him. The Unlikely Trio stomp a mudhole in Show, but Trips can't help but nail Foley. Foley clothesline Hunter (and himself) out of the ring. Show with a big boot to the Rock as Foley nails Trips with a chair in the midsection. Shane trips up the Rock, and Foley nails Show with the steel chair. Rock Bottom on the Show and he's eliminated already at 4:50!
Triple H tries to form an alliance with whoever he can, and "surprisingly", Rock and Foley double team on Triple H and choke him down. Hunter gets to play caught in the middle, and the RnS Connection drop him with a double clothesline. Hunter gets dumped out of the ring, but fights back on the Rock until Foley puts him down again. Foley controls with rights, and whips Hunter into a clothesline by the Rock. Foley grabs the ring bell and gives it to the Rock, who nails Foley by mistake. Hunter drops Rocky with a clothesline, and whips him into the steel steps. This fall has certainly been a little on the boring and slow side. Triple H slams the Rock across the security wall, but Foley has the barbed wire 2x4! Foley misses his swing like his name is Jason Giambi, and Hunter nails him with a low blow. Hunter with the 2x4 now, and he smacks it right into the midsection of Foley. The Rock comes back in to hammer away on Triple H, but gets dumped over and out for his troubles. Foley with a Double-Arm DDT out of nowhere on Triple H, and he pulls out Mr. Socko! Foley applies the Mandible Claw, and the Rock KO's him with the World Title! Rocky tries the Peoples Elbow, but Foley applies the Mandible Claw on the Rock now! Hunter with a low blow on both men, especially on the Rock who had his legs spread wider than Kris Bensons wife. Quick observation sees a big sign that says "Thank You Mick Foley." Hunter beats on the Rock in the corner, and Vince puts in a steel chair. Rock with a clothesline to Trips, and Foley with a clothesline to the Rock for a two count! Foley beats on the Rock with rights, and sends him into the corner for more punishment. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, but Foley catches the Rock with a Double Arm DDT for another two count! Foley grabs the chair McMahon put in the ring, but gets it kicked in his face by the Rock. Irish whip, and Rock with a DDT on Foley for a two count thats broken up by Triple H. Trips with a clothesline to the Rock, and now we get a Foley/HHH Alliance! They stomp away on The Rock to a chorus of boos, and Foley nails a running knee lift for a two count. Double suplex by Foley/HHH on the Rock, and Triple H follows with a Nature Boy style knee drop for another two count. Rocky gets knocked to the outside by Foley, but gets whipped into the ring steps after abour 30 seconds of walking around. Rocky comes back on Trips and chokes him with some cord, but Foley floors him with the ring steps! Trips sets the Rock up across the Spanish table, and Foley heads up to the second rope... AND MISSES THE ELBOW DROP! because he was about a foot short of his target. Triple H improvises and drops an elbow of his own across the chest of the Rock from the other table, and now both tables are collapsed. Hunter and Foley go back into the ring now... Pedigree by Triple H connects... for a two count!! Hunter with the chair now, and he sends Foleys face into right field like a Tino Martinez Home Run from the first few weeks of May 2005. Hunter with a second pedigree onto the chair now, and that finally ends Foleys career at 19:41.
Before Foley leaves though, he comes back into the ring and brains Triple H with the barbed wire 2x4! That gets quite a nice reaction as Foley makes his way back to the locker room for the last time. Back in the ring, and the Rock slowly crawls for to cover Hunter for only a two count. Rock hammers away on Hunter with roundhouse rights, but the crowd doesn't seem to be very much into it anymore. Rocky with a clothesline sends Hunter out of the ring, and that big black guy from the Green Mile screams words of incouragment. Rocky drags Hunter back to the entrance area, but gets kicked in the chest. Triple H tries a suplex, but Rocky blocks and connects with one of his own. Rocky whips Hunter into the very shitty looking entrance, and knocks him down with a big clothesline. We head down into the crowd where we get the usual brawling, and Rocky back drops Hunter back to the ring area. Rocky rams Hunters face into the time keepers table, but gets the steel steps smacked into him with steel chair shots. Triple H with a piledriver onto the ring steps, but there's no pinning on the outside. Finally we go back into the ring, where Hunter covers for a two count. The two exchange blows once again. Both men counter the others finisher, with Rocky back dropping Hunter over the top rope. Rock sends Hunter back into the crowd, but Triple H is the one who controls and tosses him back from out of the area. Irish whip is countered, sending Trips into the security wall, and Rock nails a mini-spinebuster on the floor. Rocky takes the TV's off the announcers table, and destroys whats left of it with a suplex! Hunter makes a comeback though, but Vince sends him into the ring post. Shane makes his way back to the ring and attacks Vince from behind! He beats on Vince for a few moments and levels him with the television monitor. Stephanies expression makes her look uglier than Derek Jeters mother. Vince then levels Shane with rights, as we ignore whatever happens in the ring. Shane with a low blow, then he blasts Vince with a steel chair, busting him open... OK, I've seen better blade jobs by a rat. Back in the ring, and Rocky hammers away on Triple H with rights in the corner. Irish whip is reversed, but Rock nails him with a DDT for a two count! Irish whip, and Rock with a tilt-o-whirl powerslam for another two count. Shane has a chair again, as Trips nails Rock with a knee to the face, followed by a shot to the head with the 2x4. Shane comes in with a steel chair, but Rocky slingshots Hunter into him in the corner, and nails the Rock Bottom! Vince returns to the ring and takes out Shane. Vince then grabs a Steel Chair... and nails the Rock with it! Triple H with the cover... for only a two count!! Well, that's anticlimatic because we get the same spot and Triple H retains the title at 36:26. *** Well that really pisses me off... the match was good, but way too long and boring for a Wrestlemania Main event. This match could've been much better if maybe 10 minutes of repetitive crap was trimmed down and given to another match that could've used it. That finish has the crowd litter the ring with crap. Afterwards, Vince, Shane, and Stephanie reconcile, but the Rock gets the last laugh by taking out all of them with Rock Bottoms, and nails the Peoples Elbow on Stephanie. Where was Triple H in all of this, because I don't see him anywhere. Oh... he popped up eventually but got knocked down again.
- We get a kind of Post-Game Show, but it's pretty boring, but since I'm a nice guy and sat through this show, I'll just comment on what you see. Highlights from the Hardcore Title Battle Royales controversial ending, followed by a Hardcore Holly interview where he calls Michael Cole a shithead. No wonder everyone loves Holly. Interviews with Edge & Christian, the New Tag Team Champions, Mick Foley (with his son Dewie), Pete Rose, Vince McMahon, and a bunch of commercials for Backlash.
Final Thoughts: Sure, the fact the fucking HEEL left Wrestlemania as World Champion pissed me off, there wasn't at least one traditional 1-on-1 match, that there was an abunance of multi-person matches for all of the titles, and the crowd was pretty shitty, the show is still pretty good. Whenever a show features a 5-star match and a handful of 3-star matches, it's an automatic Thumbs Up recommendation, and that's what I'll give it.