- Courtesy of the WWE Network. That’s right, they’re finally adding to their library of content, after months of very sporadic uploads. I’m not asking them to shoot their load and upload everything immediately, but a steady stream is all I ask. If you update an episode or two a week of different programs, I’m more than happy.
Anyway… Tuesday Night Titans. For newer fans, you probably have no clue what this is. Even for me, who grew up a fan of wrestling in the late 80’s/early 90’s, missed the boat that was Tuesday Night Titans. Here’s the low down: You know David Letterman or Conan O’Brien? Just substitute one of them with Vince McMahon, along with side-kick Lord Alfred Hayes. TNT would bring on several WWF Superstars and Managers every week, basically to do one of three things: introduce them to the WWF audience, get over their personalities, or get them to do ridiculous stuff. That third option happens a lot and is usually the highlights everyone remembers… so we can expect almost nothing but talking on 99% of the entire TNT library.
- Squash Match, Joined in Progress, of Dr. D David Schultz. This week’s victim: Billy Travis.
- At Home With Dr. D, David Schultz… Lord Alfred says that Schultz talks funny. See… burying talent for their imperfections isn’t something new to WWE. Dr. D welcomes us and the TNT Cameras to his home (a log cabin?) in Nashville, TN. He yells at his kids to go play with the dog, and yells at his wife to go fix supper. He goes on and on about stuff until Supper is ready, so naturally he yells at being interrupted. He walks into a hillbilly chandelier and yells at his wife for moving the table. He throws bread on everyone’s plate and continues to bark at everyone and sends his wife and kids to their rooms. Then he chases the camera man out, yelling about chicken and pizza. If coming across as a bully was the goal, then it worked, but I didn’t find this as amusing as other websites.
- Guest #1: Tito Santana: Tito is our reigning Intercontinental Champion. He doesn’t respect what he’s just seen of Dr. D bullying his family at home. Apparently there was a recent contest for a lucky fan to have lunch with a WWF Superstar. The lucky winner was Chris Beavers, who selected Tito Santana. Vince promises VIDEO footage, but shows us photographs. LIAR! I WANT MY $9.99 BACK! I’m guessing this was featured in the official WWF Magazine.
- Coming from out of nowhere, a mail sack is thrown on the coffee table. Not exactly the Mail Time song from Blue’s Clues, is it? First Question: Was Vince ever a wrestler and can I have a picture of the Tonga Kid. Vince says no to the former. Second Question: It’s an off the rails question about watching “other wrestling” and wrestlers who wear make-up like the rock-stars KISS (if we’re not kayfabing, I’m assuming Road Warriors?). Vince says we might see individuals like that in the future.
- From The Archives: Arnold Skaaland takes on Joe Turco. This looks to be from the late 60’s, if I had to guess. Vince and Alfred talk over the footage, and you can see someone SMOKING at ringside. Vince points this out, and that the smoke didn’t come from Turco’s posterior. Alfred calls wrestlers of that era “Beer swilling wench chasers”, much to Vince’s confusion. Skaaland wins with a back slide.
- Guest #2: The Wild Samoans: Lord Alfred already looks uncomfortable, as the Wild Samoans are nearby, preparing Samoan cuisine. Afa throws a large fish on the table, cutting off the head to boil, and taking apart it’s innards. Am I watching a WWF program or some kind of horror movie? They stuff another large piece of the fish into the small pot as the train wreck continues. They offer Alfred a piece of raw fish with hot sauce on it. Alfred’s prudish attitude and complete discomfort is great. Vince: Mikey likes it. Alfred: Who’s Mikey? The real question… how did Vince know a (at the time) relevant Pop Culture Reference?! We take a commercial, and they continue the pilot for “Cooking With Samoans.” This just drags on. It was humorous for a moment or so, but then it went on for nearly 10-minutes. If you squint and look hard enough, Sika kind of looks like Roman Reigns. Or maybe not, I’m tired.
- We see the closing minutes of the Tag Team Championship Match where the Wild Samoans lost the belts to Rocky Johnson and Tony Atlas. This was a No Disqualification Match, but the big spot at the end was Lou Albano coming in behind the back of the referee and accidentally smashing Afa with a wooden chair. Johnson and Atlas made history as the first African-American Tag Team Champions. Vince informs us that the team of Johnson and Atlas are no longer the Champions, having lost the straps to Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch.
- Guest #3: Capt. Lou Albano: There seems to be a bit of uneasiness amongst Albano and his protégé’s, the Wild Samoans. We head to commercial, and return with only Albano in the studio. Albano doesn’t feel responsible for the loss. Yeah, he hit one of them with an Oak chair, but their tough, they should’ve gotten up from it. They should toughen up and stop acting like crybabies. He says they were “Savages in trees”, and he turned them from nothing to something, just like Jimmy Snuka. Vince accuses Albano of trying to sign up Adonis and Murdoch… and he simply admits it. Then he lies and say he didn’t. Albano, keeping kayfabe alive forever and always. We see clips of various teams managed by Lou Albano, including Mr. Fuji and Mr. Saito, The Moondogs, The Wild Samoans, and the Executioners. He brings up his role in music with NRBQ and Cyndi Lauper, having an IQ of 157, and being able to use the most of his medulla oblongata.
- We cut to a weird set-up not unlike a talk show setting, with Lou Albano, amongst others, answering questions from a handful of marks. One of them actually flips Albano off.
- We see clips of what looks like a fairly dated 3-on-1 Handicap Match featuring Andre The Giant. The only opponent I recognize is WWE Hall of Famer Johnny Rodz. No finish shown.
- Another quick clip of action featuring Hulk Hogan against the Masked Superstar (Bill Eadie). Finish not shown here, either.
- The train continues, with a clip of Jimmy Snuka vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine from Madison Square Garden.
Final Thoughts: Tuesday Night Titans is one of those shows that can’t be graded the same as a typical wrestling program. It’s mostly interviews, so you’ll have to appreciate that aspect of the product. Tito Santana was a bit of a bore, the Wild Samoans cooking was funny for a moment, but overkilled, and Lou Albano was his usual hilarious ‘self. A few (modern) matches, joined in progress, were featured, including a semi-dated Title Change between the Samoans and Johnson and Atlas. I didn’t care much for the stuff at “Dave Schultz’s home.” You can tell they kind of ran out of stuff, so the last 5-10 minutes was just whatever crap they could throw at us to fill time.