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WWE Survivor Series 2012

by Scrooge McSuck

- Originally broadcasted live, on Pay-Per-View, on November 18th, 2012, from Indianapolis, IN. Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and JBL are calling all the action, unless otherwise noted. I'd like to point out I'm loving this whole continously counting the days of Punk's championship reign, and incorporating it into the opening video montage. I'm going to skip over doing the Pre-Show match between 3MB (represented here by Heath Slater and Jinder Mahal) and CoBro (Santino Marella and Zack Ryder). 3MB wins, which means Marella's winning streak comes to an end at 1.

BONUS Traditional Elimination Match:
Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio vs. Tensai, Darren Young, Titus O'Neil, Epico, Primo:

Bonus? I like bonuses, even if it's mostly scrubs. These shows need more elimination matches, just for the fun factor. Shows you how deep the tag team division got when four teams represent in this match, throwing in behemoths Clay and Tensai to fill out the rest. Kidd and Epico start. Lockup, and Kidd quickly goes for the arm, sweeps the leg, and grabs a headlock. Epico nips up to escape, but is quickly taken back down with the headlock. Whip to the ropes, Kidd rolls through a sunset flip, and we get the bridging pin attempt spot. Kidd sweeps the legs again, but Epico hooks the ropes and rolls to the floor. Kidd teases a plancha, and the kick from the apron is countered. Epico misses a somersault senton back into the ring, and Gabriel tags in, quickly going for a pin attempt, for two. Gabriel with a leg sweep and standing moonsault for two. Whip to the corner, and a spinning heel kick gets another two count. Mysterio with a basement dropkick for two. Young tags in, sends Mysterio to the corner, and eats buckle on a charge. Mysterio with a baseball slide to the "inner thigh", and joins Sin Cara in a double face-plant for a two count. Primo tries his luck, and takes a few kicks for it. Whip to the ropes, and Sin Cara bounces off the ropes with an elbow, followed by a head scissors. Sin Cara with a top rope twisting body press for two. Sin Cara counters a powerbomb with a hard sunset flip for another two count. Lawler accidentally calls Primo "Carlito", as he tags out to Tensai. He plants Sin Cara with slams as the crowd chants "Albert" at him. O'Neil manhandles Sin Cara, but does very little, before tagging out to Primo. He slaps a camel clutch on, and holy crap, I'm SHOCKED we have yet to have an elimination. Tensai with a headbutt and elbow drop combo, done twice. He takes shots at the faces, allowing Cara to nail him with an enziguri.

Clay gets a mild tag and crushes Tensai in the corner. Things get out of hand, with Clay taking care of business. The remaining members of each team get into a spotfest display on the floor, while back in the ring, it's down to Clay and Tensai (everyone's still legally involved, no disqualifications or count outs).Clay botches a T-Bone suplex, dropping Tensai on his face. Charge to the corner misses by a mile, allowing Tensai to plow through with a shoulder and slam his body on top of Clay for the three count at 7:26. Gabriel in to try his luck, and Tensai lays him out with a shoulder. O'Neil slaps on an abdominal stretch, and Gorilla Monsoon would be proud, because he's got it hooked properly. O'Neil with a casual overhead slam, while still standing. Tensai with the blind tag, and the back slam only gets two. Gabriel avoids a second attempt, and cradles him for three at 9:23. Tensai cheap shots Gabriel on the way out, allowing the PTP to double team. Epico with a double underhook suplex for two, then settles in with a chinlock. Gabriel fights free and tags out to Kidd. He comes in with a missile dropkick and lays into Epico with kicks. Epico sends Kidd to the floor with a dropkick, allowing Primo to take advantage. O'Neil shows off his strength some more, and we're in need of some eliminations, soon. Kidd crotches O'Neil across the top rope, boots him on the side of the head, and a roll up gets three at 12:51. Young with a short clothesline for a pair of two counts. Epico with a trio of back suplex, but on the third, Kidd counters and turns Epico over in the sharpshooter, and it's a tap out at 14:01. Primo pounds away and grabs a headlock. Primo to the top rope, and Kidd with a dropkick to counter his body press. Mysterio gets the hot tag, and it's over. He takes Primo over with a head scissors and a kick to the head gets two. Rey to the top rope, but Primo cuts him off. Mysterio fights off a super-plex, sends Primo into the ropes on an arm drag, but misses 619. He avoids a code breaker, and a la mahistral cradle gets the three count at 16:31. Young takes a head scissors into the ropes, and Rey does hit 619 on him. Sin Cara to the top rope, and a senton bomb connects. Gabriel with a springboard moonsault, and Tyson Kidd with an elbow drop. Mysterio to the top rope, and a splash finally finishes the already dead Darren Young off at 17:28, making the foursome of Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara, Tyson Kidd, and Justin Gabriel the survivors. The crowd wasn't into it too much, but I thought it was pretty entertaining, and gave lower card guys more than 4-minutes and a quick job to showcase what they can do.

- Backstage, Kaitlyn and Aksana do stuff. No one cares, which leads to...

WWE Diva's Championship Match: Eve Torres © vs. Kaitlyn:

Why am I going to suffer through this? Remember, it was at Night of Champions where a conspiracy saw Kaitlyn "injured" (and taping the outside of her boot for a month to "sell" it), allowing Eve to steal the title shot and take the title from Layla. Kaitlyn throws the EVIL blonde wig at Eve and pounds away. Two minutes in, nothing of note to comment on, so I'll just say that the Marlins dumping 150 mil. in salary is NO surprise. How did people NOT expect that to happen? How does this team have any kind of fanbase? This is, what, the fourth fire sale in team history, a history going back barely two decades? If you don't want to spend the money, don't spend it, instead of giving false hope to desperate fans, and then pulling the rug from under them almost immediately after. At least as a Rays fan, I know my team will never do that, because of being cheap. We won't see a Hamilton signed and traded after a year, because we can't "afford" (or are unwilling to keep paying) someone of that level in the free agent market. Oh, match sucks, Eve eventually wins it following a lame reverse neck breaker at 7:03. Who gave this more than 3-minutes? I'm going to say this at the end of every "Diva's" match I have to recap: WWE should do away with them. No one cares, and in the PG era, there's even less people caring, because of the lack of gimmicks like "bra and panties" matches and other wastes of time.

- Backstage, it's time for some motivational speeches for the Survivor Series Elimination Match. Randy Orton tells Mick Foley "I hate you", and Foley approves.

WWE United States Championship Match: Antonio Cesaro © vs. R Truth:

Was this advertised in advance? I don't seem to recall an angle going on between these two, but then again, I don't watch Smackdown, so who knows, and honestly, who cares. I thought Truth was supposed to be doing a tag team program with Brodus Clay. Lockup, and Truth with a quick roll up for a two count. Truth with a sunset flip for another two. Victory roll for two. He blocks a boot and pounds away with rights, although he's missing them badly. Cesaro with a headbutt, followed by a clothesline. Cesaro hammers on Truth and hooks an armbar. Whip to the corner, and he follows in with another clothesline, followed by a shoulder to the midsection. Cesaro with a slam and the Kevin Sullivan double stomp for two. Cesaro hooks a reverse bearhug, but Truth fights back to his feet and escapes with elbows. Cesaro quickly puts Truth down with a knee into the back, covers for two, and goes back to the bearhug. Cesaro with a waistlock takedown, followed by the overhead slam for a two count. Whip to the ropes and Truth surprises him with a sunset flip for two. Cesaro with a vicious uppercut, following through so much he landed on Truth, covering him for two. Back to the bearhug, but Truth is feeling the crowd's "support" (chanting USA, oooooooH!). He fights free, catches Cesaro on the side of the head with an elbow, and comes off the ropes with a twisting forearm. Charge to the corner meets a knee, but he catches Cesaro coming with a jumping heel kick for two. Truth with that weird suplex into a stunner spot, for two. Cesaro avoids the scissors kick, lands another uppercut, and the Neutralizer finishes Truth at 6:59 to retain the Championship. Perfectly acceptable, but yet again, the crowd wasn't into it. This crowd is starting to irk me. I know nothing has been great, but show some life more than the occasional chant.

- We waste valuable Pay-Per-View time for this stupid A.J. and Vicki Guerrero angle. Tamina makes her return from injury, and Michael Cole is smart to remind us sh'e sthe daughter of Jimmy Snuka. She gives the worst Superfly Splash ever. A 68 year old Jimmy Snuka could probably do one better than that. 10 Minutes here I won't be getting back.

- Buy the WWE Attitude Era DVD set, available in stores, NOW!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Big Show © vs. Sheamus:

It's the long-waited rematch from Hell in a Cell. Wait, that was only four weeks ago! No way Show is losing the title that soon, so we can pretty much assume Show will be defending the belt at TLC, or whatever the name of the stupid December PPV will be. Cole reminds us of Show's impressive Survivor Series resume, including two World Title victories (1999 and 2002). Slugfest, won by the Big Show. Sheamus keeps trying, but Show lays him out with a headbutt, followed by a short-arm clothesline. He takes Sheamus to the corner and slaps the skin off his chest. Sheamus clips the knee of the charging giant, and traps him in the Andre Special™, in honor of Big Show's daddy, no doubt. Sheams with the clubbing forearms across the chest (10 of them, in all). Show avoids the Brogue Kick, but Sheamus follows him to the floor with a forearm from the apron. Back in the ring, Sheamus heads to the top, only to take a diving shoulder into the chest on the way down. That looked simple and painful at the same time. We take it to the floor, where Show introduces Sheamus to the ring steps. I wonder if they're made of steel. JBL confirms it for me, so there you go. Back in the ring, Show plants him with a slam, and starts to take a more deliberate pace. He works the arm, but it seems more wise to work a knee, so the Brogue Kick is harder to pull off. Sheamus hangs Show up across the top rope, then launches himself into the ring with a shoulder. The comeback is short-lived, as he runs into a big boot. Show with a jumping elbow drop for a two count. Show goes back to the arm, and on top of that, hooks the vulcan neck pinch.

Sheamus fights free with rights, but walks into a side suplex. Show's dominance continues, but a sluggish pace. Whip to the corner, and a charge meets the boot. Sheamus hops on Show's back for a sleeper hold, no doubt inspired by the spot in The Princess Bride. That's TWO Andre references in one match. Sheamus meets the post on a charge, and Show with the Cutting Room Floor or whatever he called that spot. Show climbs the ropes in a contrived spot, allowing Sheamus to give him an electric chair drop. Impressive stength, but everyone saw it coming. They slug it out from their knees, with Sheamus gaining the upperhand. He comes off the ropes with a high knee, followed by a diving forearm. Show blocks the Brogue Kick, but he can't hit the chokeslam. Sheamus with White Noise, but it only gets two. Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, but Show throws referee Scott Armstrong in the way of it. Come on, he's an Armstrong. NOTHING can stop an Armstrong. Show takes advantage of Sheamus' "concern" and KO punches Show for the three count at 14:45... but wait, the decision is reversed, giving the match to Sheamus by Disqualification. Smell the ReMatch in four weeks! Match started and finished pretty hot, but that middle was incredibly deflating for me. After all the hooplah, Sheamus lays Show out with the Brogue Kick.

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match:
TEAM FOLEY: Randy Orton, The Miz, Kofi Kingston, Kane, Daniel Bryan vs. TEAM ZIGGLER: Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, Wade Barrett, Damian Sandow, David Otunga:

I won't bother complaining how this went from Team Foley vs. Team Punk, or how turning Miz and making him team with Kofi Kingston is supposed to make sense. David Otunga is filling in for Cody Rhodes, who took a nasty bump resulting in a seperated shoulder (among other injuries) on the previous episode of Main Event (that would be the November 14th episode). Kingston quickly rolls Otunga up for two. He lays into him with kicks and a dropkick. He goes for Trouble in Paradise, but Otunga rolls to the floor. Kingston to the top, he follows out with a forearm, then rolls Otunga back in to cover for two. Bryan tags in and quickly gets taken over with a powerslam. Sandow tags in, takes Bryan down with a Russian leg sweep, and drops the elbow of disdain for two. Bryan with elbows to the midsection, followed by a clothesline. He charges into the corner with a dropkick, then lays into Sandow with the No Kicks. Sandow tries to take a walk, but Kane cuts him off and tosses him back into the ring. Kane tags in, and the chokeslam finishes Sandow off at 3:08. Kane and Bryan argue for whatever reason, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag for three at 3:49.

Orton comes in and works over Ziggler with forearms. Orton takes him over with a slingshot suplex for two. Kingston takes Ziggler over with a super-sized monkey flip for another two count, then hooks a front facelock. Bryan with uppercuts, but a knee to the midsection slows him down. Barrett sends him to the buckle, but eats some himself on a drop toe hold. Bryan misses a charge of his own, and takes a beating at the hands of Team Ziggler. Otunga tags back in, sends Bryan to the corner, and puts him down with a shoulder tackle for two. Bryan turns things over with the No Lock, and Otunga taps at 7:13. Del Rio with a snapmare and kick to the back for two before settling in with a chinlock. Bryan escapes with elbows to the midsection, but runs into a tilt-o-whirl back breaker. Del Rio measures him up and charges, only to be back dropped to the floor. Kingston launches in with a high forearm, followed by a dropkick. The boom drop connects, and he's calling for the end. Ziggler interrupts, but Kingston comes off the ropes with a body press for two. Barrett in, and he hits a sidewalk slam following intereference from Ziggler. Barrett with the Bull Hammer (another name for the forearm) for three at 9:43.

Orton in, and he connects with his signature dropkick for two. Whip to the corner, and Barrett catches Orton coming with a boot to the face. He goes for a suplex, but Orton blocks and counters with one of his own. Orton with a jumping knee drop across the chest for two. Bryan tags in, despite the tag being offered to Miz. He works on Barrett with kicks. Whip to the corner is reversed, and Bryan comes off the middle rope with a missile dropkick for two. Barrett meets Bryan in the ropes with a clothesline, knocking him to the floor. Del Rio tags in, and almost falls victim to the No Lock, but manages to fight free. He connects with a running boot in the corner, and the Cross Armbreaker makes Bryan tap at 12:38. Miz finally comes in for the first time. He pounds on Del Rio, hooks a front facelock, and tags out to Orton, who goes through with the Garvin Stomp. Orton with the lace of his boots to rake the eyes for a two count. Del Rio goes for the arm and hits a modified single arm DDT for two. Ziggler with stomping and a jumping elbow drop for two. Orton fights free of a chinlock with elbows and presses Ziggler in the air for a long drop. Miz with the hot tag, and he lays into Barrett with a flurry of rights, then charges into the corner with a clothesline. Miz to the top, and a double axehandle connects. Barrett escapes the Skull Crusher and plants a crescent kick in the midsection. Miz counters a pumphandle slam with the Skull Crusher, and that takes care of Barrett at 16:07. Miz with a DDT on Del Rio for two. Del Rio ducks a clothesline and a German suplex gets two. Del Rio to the top, but Miz yanks him down quite violently. Miz misses a charge, and a running enziguri finishes Miz off at 17:15.

To no ones surprise, it's down to Randy Orton. He slugs it out with Del Rio, but falls victim to an enziguri. Ziggler with a neck breaker for a two count. Del Rio with a jumping double stomp (the Sullivan one that Cesaro does, too). He makes a slow climb to the top rope, and jumps right into a dropkick. That's what happens when you hot dog. Orton with clotheslines and another cheap shot at Ziggler. He takes Del Rio over with a powerslam, then goes for Rodriguez, allowing Del Rio to hit an enziguri from behind, but that only gets two. Foley comes from out of his corner to take care of business, lodging Socko into the mouth of Ricardo Rodriguez. Ziggler accidentaly hits his partner with a dropkick and gets rammed into the post. Orton counters the armbreaker and RKO's Del Rio for the three count at 20:57. Ziggler looks dead in the corner, still wrapped around the post. Orton sets up for the RKO, but Ziggler hooks the ropes to prevent it, and the Zig Zag connects... for two! Orton avoids a rocker dropper and plants him with the DDT. Orton's sporting a busted lip, but surprisingly WWE doesn't censor it. Orton sells the tasting of his own blood and goes for the punt, but Ziggler hits a Super-Kick instead, and covers for three at 23:44 to become the Sole Survivor. About time he won an important match. Started off a little sluggish, but things picked up nicely, and we got a hot final few minutes, which is always a good thing in these elimination matches. My only complaint... why is Kane ALWAYS losing early in these matches, every single year?

WWE Championship Match: CM Punk © (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. John Cena vs. Ryback:

It's Day 364 for CM Punk as the WWE Champion, don'cha know. This whole thing between Punk and Cena is really off the tracks. It was supposed to be about Punk wanting respect, and now he's just a heel being screwed over by babyface McMahon (when he's deciding not to be heel McMahon). It was nice of WWE to use the finish at Hell in a Cell to develope... no one. They give the "referee" a big angle that is easy to follow through wih, and have Ryback destroy him in 2-minutes in the big "you have to earn the contract you want" match.

Punk takes a hike early, with Punk and Ryback offering a chase on seperate occasions. They catch up to him, but start getting in each other's faces over who gets to beat up the Champion. Ryback overpowers Punk, and Cena comes back into the picture with a bulldog. Ryback sends him to the floor with a clothesline, and we get the long-waited Cena/Ryback confrontation. All 90 seconds into the match. Lockup, and Ryback with the shove-off. Crowd chants for Cena, both positive and negative, and ignores Ryback. Cena grabs a headlock, and a shoulder tackle puts Ryback down. Cena goes for the AA, but Ryback fights free and stomps away on Cena in the corner. Punk comes back in and takes Ryback over with a snap suplex. Ryback no-sells it and throws Punk out of the ring with a fallaway slam. Cena with a belly-to-belly on Ryback for a one count, then hooks a chinlock. Punk from the top with a double axehandle, then knocks Cena to the floor with a forearm. Punk to the top again, and connects with another axehandle. Third time isn't a charm, though, as Ryback catches him and slams him into the buckle. Ryback charges, but takes a heel kick to the side of the head. Cena rolls up Punk for two, but can't hit the AA. Punk plants him with a DDT for two. Ryback interrupts things and hits a running powerslam on Punk. Cena with a back suplex on Ryback, no-sold again. Cena and Ryback slug it out. Cena hits the ropes, only to be pulled out by Punk and thrown into the steps. Punk hangs Ryback up on the top rope, then launches himself back in with a clothesline for two. Punk with the chinlock, and we'll wait for Cena to break things up... nevermind, Ryback does it himself, and takes Punk down with a spinebuster. He sets up and connects with the Meat Hook clothesline.

Shell Shock is interrupted by Cena, and he slaps the STF on Ryback, but Punk creeps into view, and comes off the top with the Macho Man Elbow across the back of Cena, while still laying on top of Ryback. Punk signals for the GTS, but Cena fights free and slugs it out, until Ryback takes both down with clotheslines. Ryback dumps them to the floor, for whatever reason. Ryback stupidly goes for a double suplex, but Cena and Punk beat him down for being the moron he is. The announcers table gets stripped, and they double suplex Ryback through it. The crowd wanted tables, so there you go. Back in the ring, Cena comes off the ropes with shoulders, then connects with the side slam. The Five-Knuckle Shuffle connects, but Punk escapes the AA and hits the GTS for two. No surprise there, after there last few PPV's against each other. Cena surprises Punk with the AA, but Punk kicks out at two. Again, no surprise. Cena with a leg sweep, but can't hook the STF. Punk with a running knee into the face, but Cena counters a bulldog with a leg trip and finally locks on the STF. Suddenly, Ryback comes back to life and pulls Cena out. Back in the ring, Ryback hits the Meat Hook on Punk, followed by the Shell Shock, but Cena breaks the cover. Ryback with the Shell Shock on Cena, and suddenly we get a run in from three men in black (but not masked), working over Ryback. It's NXT stars Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins, by the way. They beat the tar out of Ryback and powerbomb him through the other announcers table in spectacularly awesome fashion, while back in the ring, Punk covers Cena to retain the Championship at 17:58. I hate triple threats, but this was as entertaining as it could get with a complete non-factor like Ryback dragging down an automatic 4-star match into the range of mediocre. Punk gets to the one year mark as WWE Champion! Everyone celebrate!

Final Thoughts: Nothing spectacular here, but other than the diva's match, nothing was notably bad, either. The two elimination matches were both enjoyable for me, once you ignore neither the main event version made no sense anymore in why it took place, and that the opener wasn't even advertised before the start of the PPV. Both the World and WWE Championship matches were a bit underwhelming, the Show/Sheamus one moreso, while the Triple Threat had a bit of redemption with a surprising finish to set up where we go from here without it being just a predictable rematch. As always, I will never recommend a PPV for $45/55, but when the DVD comes out... mixed bag. If you like the elimination matches, go for it, if not, take a pass. Basically every Survivor Series recommendation ever.

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