WWF Survivor Series 1999
Originally broadcasted live on Pay-Per-View, on November 14th, 1999, from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI, home of other wrestling shows such as WCW Halloween Havoc '94, and the 1991 Survivor Series. 1999 Wasn't exactly a year I remember too fondly, and when my PPV collection from that year was the Big 4 (I didn't even want King of the Ring), you know it's bad. We're only about a month or so removed from the infamous departure of Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara to WCW, leaving the booking doors open on many programs at the time. Honestly, I don't recall much in terms of build for this show, other than a select couple of programs, and helpful recap packages.
- Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are calling all the action, unless otherwise noted.
Buh-Buh and Mosh start. Lockup, and they exchange hammerlocks. Buh-Buh rips the wig off and grabs a headlock, then comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Criss-cross, and Mosh with a pair of arm drags, followed by a back drop. Whip to the corner, and Mosh runs in with a butt splash. Buh-Buh no-sells, and lays him out with a clothesline. D'Von tags in, and Mosh quickly takes control with a dropkick and arm drag. Thrasher tags in, and connects with a clothesline for two. Whip to the ropes, and Thrasher with an arm drag, followed by a jaw buster. D'Von comes back with a clothesline of his own. Bradshaw tags himself in and pounds away. Thrasher tries mounting some offense, but Bradshaw ends up KO'ing him with the Clothesline From Hell, eliminating Thrasher at 3:10. Mosh comes in with a body press, but that only gets two. Faarooq in, and a double shoulder tackle for two. Thrasher's lost his wig and vest, now. Faarooq misses a charge to the corner, but has enough to tag in D'Von. Mosh grabs a headlock, but Buh-Buh tags himself in, and the 3-D finishes Mosh at 4:58. Brown comes in with rights, followed by a diving forearm. Brown with a slam and leg drop for two. Bradshaw gets pushed off the apron, so he grabs a chair and lays Brown AND Buh-Buh out for the DQ at 5:52. The Acolytes and Dudley Boyz hate each other, remember? Faarooq and D'Von have problems with each other, and start fighting up the aisle, and hey, it's a Double Count-Out at around the 7:00 mark, I guess. Buh-Buh with a side suplex on Brown for a two count. Buh-Buh with jabs, but he walks into the Sky-High. That's only enough for two. Brown sets Buh-Buh up on the top rope, and Buh-Buh counters whatever he was trying with a sit-out powerbomb. Whip to the ropes, and we get a double clothesline spot. Godfather gets the hot tag, and charges in with clotheslines. Godfather with a slam and a leg drop. Whip to the corner, and he charges in with the Ho Train. Brown tags in, and the Frog Splash (the Lo Down?) finishes Buh-Buh off at 9:37, making the Godfather and D'Lo Brown the Survivors. Okay-ish opener, but too short, and too many cop-out eliminations for a bunch of undercard tag teams.
Bulldog and Venis start, probably the best possible combination. Venis grabs a quick headlock, then comes off the ropes with a shoulder. Venis with a hip toss, and Bulldog takes out to Pete Gas. Then Bulldog tags back in. Huh? Venis goes for a suplex, but Bulldog counters with his own delayed version. VINTAGE BULLDOG! Gas tags in, again, and loses a slugfest. He sweeps the legs and slingshots Venis into the buckle, then takes him down with a back suplex for two. Whip to the corner is reversed, and Venis follows in with a clothesline. He takes Gas down with a running bulldog, and now Blackman takes his turn. He connects with a dropkick, and finishes with the Bicycle Kick at 2:58. Rodney comes in and quickly puts Blackman down with a clothesline. Blackman quickly regains control, and tags out to Gangrel. He sends Rodney from corner-to-corner. Rodney surprises him with a crucifix for two. We get heel miscommunication, and the Implant DDT finishes Rodney off at 4:27. Joey Abs comes in to try his luck, but I doubt this will end will. He takes Gangrel over with a snap suplex for two. Gangrel blocks a hip toss, and counters with a double-underhook suplex. Mark Henry tags in, and Abs somehow gives him a Hot Shot. He misses something in the ropes, and Henry lays him out with a clothesline. Henry connects with whatever Abs was trying to do, then crushes him with a Splash for three at 6:04. Bulldog comes in (obviously) and pounds away. Gangrel tags in, gets crotched across the top rope, and Bulldog with a Super-Plex for the three count at 6:48. Steve Blackman in to try his luck. He connects with a side back breaker, followed by a snap suplex. He misses a second rope headbutt. Bulldog with a fisherman suplex, and that gets three at 7:33. Venis with a clothesline, followed by stomping. Bulldog comes off the ropes with a sunset flip, but Henry breaks the pin attempt. Whip to the ropes, and Bulldog with a double clothesline. He keeps both men at bay for a bit, until Venis cradles him for a two count. Henry comes in to crush Bulldog in the corner and gives him a splash. Venis to the top rope, and he comes off with the Money Shot. That's enough to finish this turkey at 9:11. In short, a heatless mess. It was watchable, but all these pointless matches are starting to piss me off.
- Please forgive me, but I'm skipping the 8-Women Tag Team Match. It's not Elimination Rules, and clocks in at under 2-minutes. For those who absolutely need to know the results, the team of Tori (not Wilson), Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young, and non-wrestler Debra went over the team of Women's Champion Ivory, Luna Vachon, Jacqueline, and non-wrestler Terri Runnels. Entrances alone were double the length of the match, and HOW DID THE TEAM OF TWO DINOSAURS AND A MANAGER GO OVER THREE WELL ESTABLISHED WRESTLERS?
"With the deepest regrets, and tears that are soaked,
I'm sorry to hear your dad finally croaked.
He lived a full life, on his own terms,
Soon he'll be buried, and eaten by worms.
But if I could have a son, as stupid as you,
I would wish for cancer, so I would die too."
... Yeah, that was REALLY offensive. All it did was lead to a 4-minute blowoff in the middle of the card at the next PPV... wait, I forgot, we still have a match to get through. Sorry about that. Boss Man makes sure to flaunt the black arm band he's wearing in "memory" of Big Show's daddy. It blends in well with his all black attire. Show rushes the ring, and lays into everything walking. Show with the Chokeslam on Mideon for a three count at 19-seconds. Prince Albert walks into a Chokeslam, and that gets three at 30-seconds. Viscera comes in, gets slammed, and the Chokeslam (called the Showstopper, still) finishes him off at 56-seconds, leaving the Big Boss Man... who wisely takes a walk, pissing everyone off. Big Show is the Survivor at a whoppingly long 1:25. That was the right booking choice, I guess.
- Triple H tricks Steve Austin into chasing him through the parking lot, when suddenly, SOMBODY RUNS OVER AUSTIN! It was Billy Gunn... until they decided to make it Rikishi. Remember, only Road Dogg and X-Pac were present at the time, so it makes sense. The Bottom Line: Steve Austin is injured, and won't be in the main event tonight. THE SHOW MUST GO ON! There will be a replacement. Test. Wait, no, that makes too much sense. I guess we'll find out later (I was hoping for Test or Shane, at the time of the show). Obviously, this was done to explain Austin needing time off for surgery, which ended up taking him out of the ring for almost a year, but really, and this isn't to be heartless... could he not make it to the ring for a minute or two, rather than this? The guy has been wrestling for two years, desperately in need of repairing his neck, and the week of the show is when the decision was "he can't even take a bump anymore?" This wastes plenty of time, too, on a PPV. We're paying to watch a man lay on the ground and getting carted off for 10-minutes.
Chyna offers a comeback, but Jericho takes her down with a bulldog (to another face pop). He heads to the apron, and a slingshot splash gets two. Spinning heel kick and a nip up, and Jericho's REALLY playing it up now. He sends her to the floor with a clothesline, then gives Kitty a kiss. Kitty retaliates, but Jericho slams her off his back with ease. Chyna with a spear and AWFUL punching to negative crowd response (other than squeals, so men hate her, women like her. Just like John Cena). Back inside, Jericho gives her a powerbomb for two. Jericho goes for a Lionsault, but Chyna rolls away. J.R. actually called it a springboard Asai moonsault, other than the gimmick name. Chyna gets her comeback and the Muta springboard elbow, followed by a DDT for two. The ref gets bumped, allowing Jericho to bash her with the title belt. that only gets two. Chyna with the Pedigree, but Jericho is allowed to kick out of it when she does it. Chyna goes for a hurricanrana, but Jericho counters it easily with the Walls of Jericho (I much prefer the Liontamer name for the hold). She somehow fights her way to the ropes, forcing a break. Jericho sets her up across the top rope for a super-plex, but she goes low (thanks to a distraction from Kiss Kitty), and counters with a SUPER PEDIGREE (and it looked pretty bad) for the three count at 13:46. Ugly match at times, and the crowd was dead for most of it, but then they somehow started to wake up for all the near falls and the finish. Still, there were moments of this being pretty good, and then there were plenty of moments of Chyna not being a good worker.
Edge and Scotty start with shoving and a slugfest, won by Edge. They take it to the corner, exchanging slaps and chops. Whip to the ropes, and a Criss-Cross ends with Edge connecting with a spinning heel kick. Crash tags in, and quickly walks into a drop toe hold. Matt tags in, and a body press gets two. He drops Crash across the top rope and takes him down with a back suplex for two. Matt hangs Crash over the top rope again, and sends him to the floor with a clothesline. Sexay comes around to powerbomb Matt off the apron, setting off a series of high spots. Back inside, Christian with a powerslam on Crash for two. Hardcore comes in for the Hart Attack on Christian, but that only gets two. Christian offers a comeback, but gets laid out with a clothesline. GMS (Grand Master Sexay) in, acting like a moron. He takes Christian down with a bulldog for two. He goes for it again, but Christian sends his crotch into the buckle. Edge has his way with Hardcore and connects with the Spear. Everyone gets involved in the act until Edge accidentally spears Matt, allowing Hardcore to roll up Edge at 6:10. Scotty with a top rope DDT on Matt to eliminate him at 6:24. Jeff with a sunset flip, and he does a reversal sequence with Scotty for a pair of near falls. Too Cool with a double powerbomb on Jeff for a two count. GMS throws Jeff across the ring with a handful of hair, a spot usually reserved for women's wrestling. Snapmare and second rope dropkick by Sexay for two. Too Cool with the Hart Attack on Jeff for two. We get a mess of action, which will no doubt lead to a heel being pinned. Jeff ends up hitting a 450 splash on Scotty for the elimination at 10:11. Jeff and Christian with a double hip toss on Crash for two. They continue to double team Crash, until Jeff jumps into a missile dropkick from Hardcore. Sexay with a top rope leg drop for three at 11:30. Christian with a reverse DDT on Sexay for three at 11:45. Hardcore with a suplex, and Crash with a fist drop for two. They continue to double team Christian, and yes, I was surprised he ended up being the last member remaining, too. Christian manages to lay out Crash with the Impaler at 14:03, leaving him and Hardcore. They fight through a series of counters until Holly blocks a victory roll for the three count at 14:28. And no one cares. Really boring and heatless, if you couldn't tell by my lack of enthusiasm.
Show reverses a whip, sending Hunter into the ring steps, then walks him around the ring to toss him into the other set of steps. Rock comes around, and spits something in Show's face. He rings Show's bell, and helps out Triple H by putting Big Show through the Spanish Announce Table with a double suplex. That thing exploded on impact. Rock and Trips have Random Brawling Part Three, this time into the crowd. Look at all those Austin shirts... damn Bait-and-Switches. Back in the ring, again, with Rock in control. We get a refere bump via a clothesline from the Rock. Whip to the corner, Rock goes for a rock bottom, Triple H escapes and goes for the Pedigree, Rock escapes that, sends Hunter into the buckle before finally hitting the Rock Bottom. No referee, though, until Shane McMahon runs in to count... two. He could've counted three, easily, just to fuck him over. Rock with another Rock Bottom, but Show pulls Shane out of the ring. Show pounds away on Rocky, then sets his eyes on the Champion. For whatever reason, Show heads back to the floor, throwing Rock into the steps. Shane takes a kick-wham-Pedigree, because it was necessary? Rock with a DDT on Hunter, Show with a clothesline on Rock. X-Pac and the Outlaws run-in (Russo's gone, stop with the run ins!), working over Show and Rock. Suddenly, McMahon struts his way to the ring, nails Hunter with a belt, and Show finishes with the Showstopper at 16:17, counted by McMahon, who was originally to be the special referee. What a mess of a finish, but it worked. McMahon had been hitting Austin and Rock with blown interference for the past few weeks, and it seemed like he would double-cross and help Triple H here, before going with the good ending. Match mostly stank, but had a hot final sequence. Show does the Shawn Michaels/WrestleMania XII celebration, but really, who cared? He was just a place-holder champion for 6-weeks.
Final Thoughts: Dead crowd, meaningless Elimination Matches, and the worst example of a bait-and-switch ever brought to us by the WWF means this one is worth skipping over. The best match on the card involved Chyna, so you know there can't be much to look forward to otherwise. Usually I'm a fan of meaningless Survivor Series matches, but when they're this meaningless, heatless, and pointless, with minimal effort from everyone involved to make anything out of them, even I have to wash my hands of it. One of the worst of the Survivor Series PPV's, even if it did have a "cool" surprise finish to the main event.