WWF Superstars - February 6, 1993
by Scrooge McSuck
- Another random episode of weekend syndication fun! This time we've set the WAYBAC Machine for the Winter of 1993. We're only a couple of weeks removed from the Royal Rumble, which featured Yokozuna winning a Rumble with the most watered down field since the inaugural show, the debuts of the Giant Gonzalez and the Narcissist, and the announcement from Julius Caesar and Cleopatra themselves that Wrestlemania IX will be a giant toga wearing affair in Las Vegas, NV! Wow, no wonder everyone hates that show.
- I always like to pay attention to the effort put behind the intro videos for these shows. While the footage in the opening isn't incredibly out-dated to the point it features no-longer employed performers, but the footage used is mostly a year old, give or take (espeically with the likes of Virgil, Shawn Michaels, and Tatanka, to name a few). Correction: On second viewing, I spied Roddy Piper and Ric Flair, but to be fair, the latter was still working arena shows at this point, but was technically "gone" according to his losing to Mr. Perfect.
- We're coming to you from the Freeman Coliseum in San Antonio, TX. Our hosts this week, as usual for the time frame we're trapped in, are Vince McMahon, the Macho Man Randy Savage, and Jerry "The King" Lawler. Knowing now how much of a legend Lawler was, I find it surprising he wasn't used as anything more than "annoying broadcaster", outside of his short feud with Bret Hart, of course. Did McMahon sign him just for the sake of it, or because he wanted his territory? Who knows... We hype up a confrontation between the good ol' USA and Japan, Jim Duggan vs. Yokozuna. Also, in action is the Nasty Boys, Doink, Bam Bam Bigelow, and the Beverly Brothers.
The Nasty Boys vs. Dave Silguero & Robert Taylor:
I don't know how true this rumor is, but "storyline" version goes that the Nasty Boys were going to challenge Money Inc. for the Tag Titles at Wrestlemania IX, before stepping aside for the team of the Mega Maniacs. The Nasties never really got a hurrah after their babyface turn, I just realized, so I'm assuming, had Hogan NOT come back for a Tag Match, it would've been the Nasty Boys challenging, instead. Wow, to think Wrestlemania IX could've been WORSE on paper. Knobbs and Taylor start out, with Knobbs clubbering away. Irish whip, and Sags comes in with a sloppy bulldog. Sags calls for the pit-stop, and yes, Taylor does indeed suffer the fate, then gets tossed into his own corner. Sulguero runs into an elbow, then gets rammed into the foot of Knobbs. Irish whip, and Knobbs slams him down with a handful of hair. Sags tags back in and connects with a pump-handle slam. Whip to the corner, and Knobbs with an avalanche. Knobbs with a powerslam, and Sags follows with a top rope elbow drop for the three count at 2:17. Squash-tastic. No inset promos? I'm disappointed.
WWF Update! Brought to you by the all NEW WWF Merchandise Catalog, featuring merchandise of WWF Champion Bret "Hitman" Hart! For those who didn't catch the Royal Rumble, we saw the incredible debut of the Giant Gonzales. We take a look back in time, a whole two weeks ago, where Gonzales manhandled and eliminated the Undertaker from the Rumble Match. Oh, and the Royal Rumble will be available on Coliseum Video on February 11th. Afterwards, we get a promo from the Giant Gonzales and his manager/handler Harvey Wippleman. Have they ruined the Undertaker? Only time will tell!
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Rudi Flores:
Bigelow is fresh off squashing the Big Boss Man at the Royal Rumble, but he didn't get settled into a feud until he trimmed the red hair of Tatanka, and that didn't really go anywhere, either. Lockup, and Bigelow pounds away, then rams Flores to the corner. Irish whip to the corner, and Bigelow charges in with an avalanche. Bigelow with a headbutt as McMahon shows off his Xenophobia. Bigelow with a power slam, then heads to the top rope for his signature diving headbutt, and that's enough for the three count at the 51-second mark. Now that's how you squash someone. The highlights of the match is basically the whole match.
The WWF Event Center, brought to us by Sean Mooney! February 26th from the Nassau Coliseum, Shawn Michaels is defending the Intercontinental Title against... the Big Boss Man?! With Sherri in his corner? Oh yeah, because Marty Jannetty got canned right after the Rumble for being coked out of his mind. Also, the Undertaker takes on Yokozuna in the Main Event! We get promos from both men. I guess the Undertaker is feeling fine since the beating he took from Gonzales.
We flashback to the Royal Rumble, where Bobby Heenan introduced us to the Narcissist... Lex Luger. Seriously, how much of a closet homosexual is Vince McMahon to feature Lex Luger posing in a speedo for 5 minutes, while Heenan hypes it up with a verbal orgasm? Somehow, they managed to work in a challenge to Mr. Perfect in between all the posing.
Doink (the Clown) vs. Reno Riggins:
As much as I don't not-hate the heel Doink, I find it laughable how much everyone seems to blow how awesome it was. I can guarantee, back in 1993, the "smart" audience thought it was a joke to have a top heel being a clown. I guess babyface Doink was so bad it made people make themselves believe that heel Doink was the greatest thing since sliced bread #1 1/2. Riggins is one of those jobbers that seemed to hang around forever. Lockup to start, and Doink dicks around with Riggins and plants him with a pump-handle slam. We take a look inside the new edition of WWF Magazine, with an article on, you guessed it, Doink. Back to the action, and Doink finishes Riggins with a stump puller into a pinning combination for the three count at the 47-second mark. That was pretty fast. Afterwards, Doink gives a balloon to Riggins, then pops it. As a midcarder, I can find this entertaining, but Doink could never be anything more than that.
We cut to a promo from Mr. Perfect, who seems to have been just finished wrestling. Perfect pulls back the curtain and unveils some 5'6" punk posing, then puts him on his ass with a nasty chop. That was a message to Lex Luger, courtesy of Mr. Perfect.
Promotional consideration paid for by the following... ICO-PRO, with Bret Hitman Hart. Snap into a Slim Jim with the Macho Man Randy Savage!
Special Challenge: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji):
This isn't so much a match, but a physical challenge of whether or not Jim Duggan could knock Yokozuna off his feet. You see, at this point, only an offensive miss lead to Yokozuna being off his feet, so Jim Duggan wants to prove to the country and the world that it can be done by an individual like himself. Yokozuna and Fuji say nay. Before the match, Raymond Rougeau tries to interview Duggan, but Duggan just kind of screams and rambles a lot, mostly ignoring Rougeau. Duggan and Fuji wave their respective flags in a dualing effort. We then get the obligatory face-to-face from the two superstars, plus a SCREAMING challenge! Duggan lines up for his football stance and a collision sees Yokozuna bowling over Duggan. Duggan works the crowd and lines up one more time, with the same results. Jerry Lawler appears to be taking great joy in this. Duggan pumps himself up and he wants ONE MORE TRY! They line up, and Duggan staggers Yokozuna with a shoulder block. Duggan lines up again, ducks a clothesline, and another shoulder finally puts Yokozuna down! The crowd approves.
The victory celebration doesn't last long, as Yokozuna dumps an entire buckets worth of salt in Jim Duggan's face! That level of salting could result in permanent damage and even blindness! Yokozuna takes Duggan down with a belly-to-belly suplex, then drops a fat-assed leg acros the face. Vince McMahon somehow compares THIS to Pearl Harbor ("That's exactly what it's like all over again!"), but his terrible attitude towards real life disaster isn't even worth mocking anymore. Yokozuna drags Duggan into the corner, and proceeds to Banzai Drop him over and over again. To add insult to injury, Fuji drapes the american flag over Duggan's body, and Yokozuna drops on him for a FOURTH time. Duggan even sells internal injuries with a blood packet in his mouth. By 2011 standards, this is whatever, but in 1993, even though he wasn't that big of a deal anymore, watching Yokozuna destroy Duggan was pretty intense. As Duggan gets carted out, the camera zooms in on the crumpled flag laying near the corner in the ring. Duggan would disappear from television for about 6 weeks, then came back for one last hurrah before putting over Yokozuna in his final television appearance leading up to SummerSlam.
The Beverly Brothers vs. Pete Christie & Bob East:
It's weird seeing the Beverly Brothers involved in a squash match, considering they were at the bottom of the heel tag team totem pole at this point. To be fair, though, I can only think of Money Inc. and the Head Shrinkers as far as the other heel tag teams are concerned. Blake Beverly starts with East, and slaps him around before sweeping the leg from under him. Blake with a headbutt, and Beau tags in and connects with a double underhook suplex. Christie tags in and takes a pounding as we get an article on the Steiner Brothers hyped in this months edition of WWF Magazine. Blake drops Christie across the top rope, and the Beverly Bomb finishes things at 1:25. Pretty quick for a tag team squash match. I've always liked that double-team finisher, especially when it's sold like death.
Tatanka cuts a promo for the Headlock on Hunger. Please make checks payable to American Red Cross/WWF Headlock on Hunger. P.O. Box 37243, Washington, DC 20013. For those who forgot or weren't around, the WWF did a fundraiser at Madison Square Garden to raise money for the Samalia relief effort.
The Event Center Part Deux! The WWF comes back to the Nassau Coliseum on February 26th. In tag team action, the Steiner Brothers take on the Beverly Brothers in a rematch from the Royal Rumble. Scott cuts a pretty bad promo and I'm sure he was trying to impersonate his brother rather than cut a good one. Also, Kamala with the Reverend Slick takes on the evil Kim-Chee. As mentioned earlier, the card also includes the Boss Man vs. Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker vs. Yokozuna.
Promotional Consideration paid for by the following... WWF Action Figures (including the British Bulldog and Sgt. Slaughter)! WWF Video Games available on all video game systems! We return to the Event Center briefly as Sean Mooney hypes up the return of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, and drums up his near-fatal parasailing accident. Enough already with the face crushing.
- Stick around for next week, as Shawn Michaels takes on Tatanka in a Non-Title Match! Also, Crush returns to be in action! The debut of the Narcissist Lex Luger! The Giant Gonzales against THREE men in a Handicap match! The Steiner Brothers will be here, as well as the Tag Team Champions, Money Inc. Also, a special Update on the condition of Hacksaw Jim Duggan!
Final Thoughts: While the squash matches were rather "Meh" for this show, the feature actually presented something worth watching for once and took up a substantial amount of time (about 1/3 of the episodes running time). The downside to that, though, is that the limited amount of "upper level" talent around to feed to Yokozuna includes a guy who hasn't done much of note since maybe 1990, and used his patriotism to get a reaction out of the crowd. The roster depth is visibly weak too, but that's a rant for another day.
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