WWF Superstars - January 26, 1991
by Scrooge McSuck
- It's the funky opening with the Ultimate Warrior shooting lazers from his eyes in what looks like a field of electricity (or maybe destrucity). Vince McMahon opens the show, talking about the "shocking" moments from the Royal Rumble this past saturday, when Sgt. Slaughter won the WWF Championship. Roddy Piper wanders into view of the camera and rambles incoherent nonsense.
- Courtesy of Coliseum Video (Available February 28th), Randy Savage declared that he is the #1 Contender, and doesn't care who wins the match, but alleges Slaughter said he would give Savage a title shot if he were to win. Jump ahead to a special podium interview, with the Queen Sherri calling out Warrior, decked out in a red, white, and blue color scheme. Sherri calls out Warrior for a title shot for the Macho King, reducing herself to levels a little questionable for the children market at the time. Sherri ends up on her knees, but all she gets is Warrior loogie, and a negative proclamation not seen since Hogan refused Dibiase's offer to buy the WWF Title. Yeah, cause that worked out so well for him, too, right? Savage goes nuts backstage and sprints for the ring, but Warrior is long gone. I've never seen someone run like that. How much coffee did he drink that afternoon?!
Later in the night, the Warrior is defending the title against Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior was his usual house of fire, manhandling the challenger, and desecrating the Iraqi flag just as bad as Hulk Hogan would end up doing at WrestleMania VII. Things would take a turn for the worse, as constant interference from the enraged Randy Savage prevented Warrior from obtainining victory. Late in the contest, it was a powerful blast across the head with the royal septor that brought an end the reign of WWF champion for the Ultimate Warrior. I remember as a kid being pretty bummed, but I was more of a Hogan fan, and once Hogan won the Rumble... well, nothing was announced, but he did end up getting the title shot, and that made me happy.
The Mountie (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Reno Riggins:
Weird bit here... this is the Mountie's debut, on Superstars, but he was used on the Royal Rumble PPV in a filler match against Koko B. Ware, without any prior announcement or hype. It made sense, though, since the crowd was D-E-A-D and the only other match needed fan support (the Rhodes vs. Dibiase saga). It made the PPV over-run, too, as a normal WWF PPV went 2 hours 45 minutes, but the '91 Rumble went something like 3 hours 10 minutes. The Mountie is a repackaged Jacques Rougeau, and it's a nice touch that Jimmy Hart is still his manager. Oh my God... VINCE MCMAHON CALLED HIM JACQUES ROUGEAU! Lockup, and Mountie with a headlock, then a slap to the face. Irish whip, and Mountie with a boot to the chest. Piper and McMahon discuss the recent actions of Virgil, who left Dibiase's employment at the '91 Royal Rumble. The Mountie heads to the middle rope and comes off with something lame. Mountie with a handful of balls, then throws Riggins out of the ring. Back in the ring, and Mountie with a chokeslam and never hold for the three count at 2:07. Vince McMahon hypes the Main Event special coming up, featuring Slaughter defending the title against Jim Duggan, and a huge announcement from President Jack Tunney. Oh, and post match, Mountie gives Riggins a zap with the cattle prod.
- Time for the Event Center, with Sean Mooney, who calls the Mountie "Dudley Do Right From Hell." The Hart Foundation are the reigning WWF Tag Team Champions, but this is one of those generic promos that doesn't single out a specific opponent, and is just self-hype. Next up, it's the Barbarian and Bobby Heenan... and I swear, I never can get over how hilarious it is when Barbarian talks. Another generic promo. Who got it worse... Barbarian and the furry undies, or the Warlord and his phantom of the opera mask?
The Legion of Doom vs. Doug Vines & Cleo Reed:
It's funny to think how much the WWF kind of gave up on the LOD after their brief period main eventing house shows in tag matches with the Ultimate Warrior against Demolition. I mean, once 1991 came around, they really did nothing until they suddenly were named "#1 Contenders" for SummerSlam. According to Vince and Piper, LOD will face The Orient Express on The Main Event. There's a balanced match. LOD jump behind, and Reed gets dumped on his face. Animal with a powerslam on Vines, followed by a jumping elbow drop. Irish whip, and Hawk with a diving shoulder tackle, then a fist drop. Hawk hip-tosses Vines into the corner, then pounds away on Reed. Hawk witth a gutwrench suplex, and Animal comes in and connects with a dropkick. We take a look in Body Building Lifestyles Magazine, an article about training as a teenager. Back to the match, and Animal charges into the corner with a clothesline. Doomsday Device connects, and the three count is made at 2:19. The LOD squash matches were generally fun, but I'm surprised we didn't get any mid-match promo from anyone.
- Sean Mooney is back with more from the WWF Event Center. First, we've got The Undertaker, with his manager, Brother Love. Yeah, that was definiely a strange combination. When I think Undertaker, the first thing that I think of is "why wasn't Brother Love his manager longer?" Undertaker had no program yet, but these promos are all generic, non-threatening ones. Hey, it's Tugboat, and he goes Toot-Toot! Funny, Tugboat actually cuts a promo on the Undertaker! Tugboat was the first guy fed to the Undertaker on a daily basis, working house shows, so it makes sense, I guess.
- Coutesy of Coliseum Home Video, a bunch of fans give shout outs to the troops over in the middle east. Clips of Hulk Hogan celebrating winning the Royal Rumble Match. He's got a flag and he knows how to use it! No clip of him holding up the "Peace in the Middle East" sign? Post-Royal Rumble Interview with Mean Gene Okerlund. Hogan gets all patriotic, saying the United States military is what gave him the motivation to win the match. At least he's not name dropping Saddam and flubbing his lines, like he did in the interview before the match. Oh wait, he just did mention him, but didn't forget his name at least.
The British Bulldog vs. Joe Turner:
Davey Boy was pretty freshly returned to the WWF, and boy did he get really... big, since the last time we saw him. Vince McMahon mentions Jack Tunney is considering using Instant Replay in the WWF. That would mean having to come up with new, creative ways of ending matches, other than "heel cheats to win." Lockup, and Bulldog comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Turner gets some token offense in, but the Bulldog takes control, and plants Turner with his signature delayed suplex. He actually covers and only gets a two count. Bulldog with a snapmare and headlock, as we get a promo from the Warlord and Slick over wether or not the Bulldog can escape the Full Nelson. Whip to the corner, and the jobber misses a charge. Bulldog scoops him up, and the running powerslam ends this one at 2:20. Well, that was rather bleh. I guess it's only real purpose was to set up the random threats from the Warlord and the crummy Full Nelson. I hated feuds over stuff like "so and so is too strong and no one can break his hold."
"The Model" Rick Martel vs. Allan Reynolds:
Martel is wearing a huge button that reads "Yes, I Am a Model." Martel was in the middle of a feud with Jake Roberts that started when Martel accidentally on purpose sprayed him in the eyes with his arrogance. Jake has been battling vision problems ever since, trying to het his hands on the Model. Lockup, and Reynolds with a side headlock. Martel grabs the leg and quickly pulls him to the corner, wrapping the leg around the ring post. Martel cuts a promo on The Snake. Back to the action, and Martel is playing to the crowd. He drops an elbow across the knee, then a pair of knee drops to the same spot. Martel with the Boston Crab, and it's all over at 1:36. The canned heel heat is quite obvious, with the crowd sitting on their hands, yet boo'ing wildly, as if Sgt. Slaughter set a Hulk Hogan poster on fire, or something.
- We go back to the Event Center for one last time today. Earthquake and Jimmy Hart are standing by, and they don't care who wants to get in the way of Earthquake, wether it's Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, or... Mr. Perfect? That was odd. The Bushwhackers are still hanging around, and come on, these guys are just terrible. Are you a Bushwhacker-Roo? Tell your mudda'! Yay!
- We hype, THIS FRIDAY NIGHT, Hacksaw Jim Duggan challenging Sgt. Slaughter for the WWF Championship on the Main Event, exclusively seen on NBC. Jim Duggan is standing by with comments, hugging an American flag, and I hear "Middle East" (or Persian Gulf) for about the 89th time in the broadcast. Next week on Superstars, WWF Intercontinental Champion Mr. Perfect defends against the Texas Tornado, and we get words from the former Champion.
Final Thoughts: Not a very good episode, but at the time, seeing roughly 10-minutes of stuff from the PPV, even if it was mostly non-matches, was a pretty rare site to see on the syndicated shows. Usually all you got was the photos and a narration. Outside of that, a pretty bland episode. The Mountie debuts, and that's only interesting for the fact he was identified as Jacques Rougeau in another life, but from there, it's just a few boring squashes and a few boring event centers. All this talk makes me want to see The Main Event, though.
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