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WWE Superstars - January 23, 2015

by Scrooge McSuck

- Taped from Dallas, TX. We’re only hours away from the Royal Rumble, and in SHOCKING news, the WWE will be one Superstar shy of it’s announced participants. The man, the myth, THE LEGEND… Justin Gabriel, quit sometime over the weekend, and will not be a part of the Royal Rumble Match. Maybe this will open the door for the second consecutive Rumble appearance for El Torito, because nothing screams of time honored tradition like midgets making a mockery of such an important match.

- Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton are at ringside to call all the action, unless otherwise noted.

Naomi vs. Cameron:

(shakes head) Why?! This couldn’t possibly be worse than their match on the Battleground (or was it Night of Champions?) Kick-Off Show this past fall. It’s nice to see WWE keeping the Dollar General cosmetic department in business. Cameron stalls, so Naomi kicks her in the butt. Naomi with a pair of dropkicks and a diving elbow, sending Cameron to the floor. That poor mirror! Cameron with a sucker clothesline, and it’s downhill from here for her offense. I think she has a busted lip. Whip to the corner and a facebuster gets two. Cameron with a double chicken-wing, but without any kind of torque. Naomi fights free and comes off the ropes with a Thesz Press. Cameron no-sells and hits a clothesline for two. If the visible part of the crowd is any indication, then 90% of all reactions are canned. Naomi with a modified Stink-Face, The Rear View, and some kind of pinning combination out of the Kama Sutra for three at 4:07. ¾* This could’ve been worse. Glad to know Brodus Clay’s borrowed music from Ernest Miller still lives on.

- Highlights from the Bray Wyatt vs. Daniel Bryan match on Monday Night Raw. Bryan, in his second match back, does a pinfall job thanks to interference from Kane, but on the plus side, it was to help promote a match on (Thursday Night) Smackdown. The full match is pretty good (around ***1/4), but this isn’t a recap of Monday Night Raw, so moving on…

- Highlights from the Legends Panel on Monday Night Raw, featuring Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, and Ric Flair. Ignoring laughable comments like winning the Royal Rumble helped launch the career’s of HULK HOGAN AND RIC FLAIR, we move forward to Big Show interrupting, knocking out Ric Flair, and then getting knocked over the top rope by probable winner Roman Reigns. Laughably bad segment ending on a high note… typical Raw talky-segment.

- Royal Rumble… BY THE NUMBERS. Check out the recap of Main Event for the updated list of dumb facts. (to be fair, we ALL love dumb Royal Rumble facts, and I have my own that I keep track of just because it’s fun to do)

Sin Cara vs. “The New and Improved” Fandango (w/ Rosa):

Technically we could use the same “New and Improved” gimmick name for Sin Cara, but does anyone really care who’s under the mask anymore? It’s not like WWE’s pushing him… (finds out he pinned the Intercontinental Champion, clean, two weeks ago on Smackdown). I didn’t realize they still do the trampoline entrance for him. Lockup and Fandango with an arm drag. Sin Cara works he arm before transitioning into a hip toss. Fandango goes for a hammerlock, but Sin Cara counters with a snapmare. Whip to the ropes, Fandango counters an arm drag with a side headlock. How come nobody ever tried that on Ricky Steamboat?! Criss-cross ends with Sin Cara taking Fandango down with a spinning head scissors. He throws him to the floor and follows with a suicide dive, landing on his feet for bonus points. We return from a short break with Sin Cara still in control with an armbar. Whip to the corner, Sin Cara connects with a jumping heel kick. Rosa with a distraction, allowing Fandango to push him off the top rope, to the floor. Fandango controls, working the arm. Crowd chants “You Can’t Dance” but I don’t see anyone talking. Sin Cara from out of nowhere with a sunset flip for two. Fandango quickly takes him down with a single-arm DDT and goes back to work. Sin Cara escapes, but runs into a dropkick. Fandango misses something from the top rope, and a double clothesline puts both men down. Sin Cara with a springboard headbutt and twisting body press. Asai Moonsault gets two! Sin Cara rolls him up and lifts him into a Powerbomb! He goes to the top, only to meet knees on a senton splash! Fandango to the top, and he finishes with the Alabama Jam at 8:28. **1/4 Perfectly fine match, but completely unremarkable at the same time, if that makes any sense.

- Another recap from Monday Night Raw: John Cena has one last opportunity to save the jobs of Dolph Ziggler, The Ryback, and Erick Rowan, but has to put his Royal Rumble Championship Match on the line. All he has to do is defeat Seth Rollins… and the Big Show… and Corporate Kane. Just as things looked most bleak, the familiar face of Sting shows up to distract everyone, and Cena rolls Rollins up for the victory (Cena Wins, LOL). Afterwards, Brock Lesnar, pissed off all night long, wants Rollins, but has to settle for giving Big Show and Kane a pair of F5’s.

Final Thoughts: The road to the Royal Rumble is complete, and unlike this week's episode of Main Event, this episode of Superstars didn’t really do much for me. It would be nice of them to recap a segment from Smackdown, considering this week’s episode featured Qualifying Matches for the three “re-hired” Superstars, and Daniel Bryan having to defeat Kane to save his spot in the Rumble Match. I guess having to watch Big Show KO Punch a 65-year old alcoholic was more important.

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