WWF Saturday Night's Main Event - May 3, 1986
by Erick Von Erich
The random flashback timeline continues. Like a convoluted comic book time travel plot; for nor reason other than "eh, this might be fun" we're in the Providence (RI) Civic Center for a show taped on May 1, 1986. The production aspect of this episode is much different from SNME's signatures. For instance, "Mean" Gene Okerlund narrates the opening sequence, running down the card, with only a few soundbytes from the participants. One that sticks out is "Adorable" Adrian Adonis and how he's "always wanted" Paul Orndorff. We're also promised some footage from WrestleMania 2, as this is the usual "post-WrestleMania" episode. Our hosts are Vince McMahon along wth Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. But with so much going on in the World Wrestling Federation, let's get down to ringside for...
Hulk Hogan & The Junkyard Dog (w/The Haiti Kid) vs. Terry Funk & "Hoss" Funk (w/Jimmy Hart)
Pre-taped interview from the Funks has Jimmy Hart saying they have Jimmy Jack Funk as back-up. No idea why Haiti Kid's out there. I think he was sort of the all-around WWF Babyface Mascot for a few months. In a show of team unity, Hogan is wearing JYD's dog collar n' chain, while JYD is wearing a Hulkamania t-shirt. They hit the ring and mimic the other's routine, which is all kinds of fun. While JYD slams both Funks, twice, Hogan does a great JYD impression and performs the rolling headbutts! JYD controls the first half of the match as it's nothing but clotheslines and headbutts with maybe a slam mixed in. Jimmy Hart attacks Haiti Kid on the arpon with Funk's branding iron. JYD carries him to the back, allowing the Funks to temporarily takeover on Hogan. They go down the aisle, where Hogan slams Terry on the floor, then whips him to a returning JYD for a backdrop. Haiti Kid eventually returns to the corner, brandishing head bandages. Back in the ring, it's more JYD until Terry gets in a headbutt. Terry heads up to the top rope to miss a splash. Tag to Hogan, who comes in to deliver a clothesline, then the big legdrop to get the 3 count. The Funks attack and clear the ring, isolating Haiti. Hogan and JYD make the save, while Jimmy Jack Funk arrives to do...absolutely nothing. Seems about par for JJ Funk's course. Hogan and JYD seem to be having a blast as they celebrate in the ring, both doing the Dog's signature mannerisms. Like I said, the mimicking is fun, but it's the only highlight of this match. Eh, maybe the quick outside sequence if you're into Terry Funk as the "hardocre icon". The match seemed a little more Memphis than WWF. Oh, and I think this was a part of the "JYD vs. Jimmy Hart's Underwear" feud.
Uncle Elmer vs. King Kong Bundy (w/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan)
Billed as the "Battle of the Big Guys", we get a flashback to today's official weigh-in. Elmer arrives with his own bucket of fried pork skins as Heenan runs him down. Bell rings as Bundy tries shoulder-blocking Elmer off his feet, but to no avail. Bundy clubs him the external occiptal protuberance to take over with some more... clubs. Elmer gets a few forearm shots and whips Bundy to the corner for an avalanche. Elmer tries it in the opposite corner, but this time Bundy side-steps and the big hillbilly eats turnbuckle. Bundy is off the ropes with a big elbwodrop and that scores the 3 count. Elmer gets up after the match and waddles around like nothing has happened. Ugly stuff. I think this may have been Elmer's last match and appearance.
"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis (w/Jimmy Hart)
Pre-recored interview has Adonis and Hart singing to a cardboard cut-out of "Paula". Orndorff's interview is from inside a sauna with "Mean" Gene. Match is carried by Adonis, as he over-sells Orndorff's hip-tosses and Irish whips, then flips out of the ring a few times. Orndorff goes after Jimmy Hart and dumps him out to the floor, on top of Adonis. Adonis wrestles the match in a gown, by the way. Adonis tries to take over on the outside, but gets shoved into the ringpost. Back in, where Orndroff delivers a kneelift, clothesline and an airplane spin slam. Adonis even flips over and gets his arms tied in the ropes. Behind the ref's back, Adonis uses Hart's megaphone for a cheapshot. Hip-toss, nice vertical suplex and a kneedrop, but Adonis misses a splash from the top. Orndorff with a clothesline, drop-kick, then begins ripping off Adonis' gown, choking him. The ref tries to stop, but gets shoved away by Orndorff, triggering the disqualification. Hmm, seems babyface Orndorff wrestled the same as heel Orndorff. Match was just something for Orndorff and Adonis to do, I guess.
From earlier in the day, "Mean" Gene is with the Hulkster in an empty Providence Civic Center. We get a video recap of King Kong Bundy's attack on Hogan during the March episode then the main event of WrestleMania 2. Vince narrates both clips in full-on Hype Mode. Hogan caps eveything off, targetting Bundy, Magnificent Muraco, Mr. Fuji and Bobby Heenan.
Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts (w/Damien)
Roberts' undefeated streak is played up quite well. Steamboat hops on the apron, waves to the crowd, and gets blasted by two clotheslines from Jake! Steamboat falls outside, where Jake delivers the DDT on the concrete floor. Yup, no padding. If I remember correctly from Jake's "Pick Your Poison" DVD, I think Steamboat was legitimately knocked out from the move. Jake rolls him into the ring and drapes Damien over him, trying to get the snake to "choke". Match is thrown out as officials arrive to scold Jake. Steamboat does a stretcher job and we see his concerned wife in the audience. Pretty big angle, at the time, which kicked off their feud.
WWF Tag Team Championship:
2/3 falls as it's basically a showcase for the new champs.
The British Bulldogs (c) (w/"Captain" Lou Albano) vs. Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik (w/"Classy" Freddie Blassie)
First Fall: Davey Boy Smith comes out firing on Volkoff with a suplex, until Volkoff drops him on the top rope. Sheik comes in for a belly-to-back suplex, applies the Camel Clutch and Davey submits! Just like that, in about 60 seconds, the bad guys take the first fall!
Second Fall: Backdrop and clothesline from Sheik on Davey, then an abdominal stretch. Davey hip-tosses him over, then misses an elbowdrop. Volkoff returns for a lariat and Greco-Roman Foot-Stomp. Davye gets a sunset flip pinning attempt, but the ref is distratced by Sheik. Sheik's in for a gut-wrench suplex and a 2 count. Davey blocks a kick, delivers an atomic drop and gets 2. Volkoff returns and muscles Davey into a pin attempt for 2. The heels cut-off the ring and work over Davey, with Blassie even getting a shot. Press-slam from Volkoff, but Davey gets his foot on the bottom rope. Volkoff celebrates, thinking they've won, but Davey shoves him into Sheik, then rolls him up for the 3 and we're even at 1-1.
Third Fall: Dynamite Kid still hasn't tagged in, as Vince informs us that he has torn ligaments in his knee. They continue working over Davey as Sheik gets him in the Boston Crab. A bear hug happens, courtesy of Volkoff. Davey fightshis way out and deliver his running power slam on Sheik. 2 count, so he finally tags-off to Dynamite. Things remain the same, as it's Dynamite's turn to absorb punishment. Suplex from Sheik and he hooks the Camel Clutch again. Volkoff and Davey both enter. As the ref orders Volkoff back to the corner, Davey clubs Sheik, switches places with Dynamite and hooks Sheik in a small package to get the pin. Blassie complains to the ref and he has a legitimate gripe, since the illegal man made the pin and we're supposed to think the ref mistook the Bulldogs for one another, when they were each wearing DIFFERENT COLORED TRUNKS?! Davey was in blue and Dynamite was in red. This was just Davey eating some moves; very similar to a Sheik/Vokoff squash match, save for the two pinning moves. Also, I have to wonder how many matches the Bulldogs did where Dynamite was less than 100%.
Vince and Heenan wrap up the card. Vince recaps everything but the Bundy match, as that's Heenan cue to gloat.
Why'd You Watch This?
Not a very memorable, nor entertaining, episode. The Jake/Steamboat attack is the best of the bunch and an early SNME highlight, but it's just an angle and not a match. You could look at the participants of this show and think it would deliver, but that's not the case. The production is a little sub-par, as it's safe to say they didn't really nail their TV packages until the fall of 1986 with the official launch of "Superstars" and "Challenge". Heenan is still new to the commentary spot and his timing is a bit off. Doesn't help that Vince rarely acknowledges anything he says, either. In short: skip this one.
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