WWE Smackdown- October 31, 2008
-It’s Halloween, so tonight The Undertaker will be competing in a casket match!
-The Big Show wants to cut an angry promo against The Undertaker, but his throat is too sore from being choked out at Cyber Sunday. Show threatens to bury Undertaker if their paths cross again. Show leaves, and the camera reveals Vickie and Chavo Guerrero. Vickie wishes us a happy Halloween and has many tricks and treats planned. Vickie practically has an orgasm while describing how the Undertaker will feel when he’s trapped in a casket. She announces Chavo Guerrero as Undertaker’s opponent.
-Jim Ross looks hilarious in his sailor costume, and Tazz is dressed as a soldier. I love Halloween.
John Morrison and The Miz vs. Carlito and Primo Colon
I thought ECW was working with Raw now? Oh well, on a night when Rey Mysterio and Kane are also appearing on Smackdown, now is not the time to whine about the imaginary lines between brands. Primo and Morrison start the match, exchanging holds. Morrison clubs Primo off him but runs into an arm drag and head scissors. Cover by Primo gets 2. Carlito tags and gets a drop-kick for 2. Carlito misses a springboard move but lands on his feet and goes for a cover. Miz tags and smashes before running into an armdrag and near fall. Primo tags and the Colons hit a double backdrop. The Colons toss both Miz and Morrison to the floor and cue the commercial.
After the break, Primo and Miz are fighting back and forth. Primo drop toe holds Miz, setting him up for a splash from newly tagged in Carlito. Miz tags Morrison, who pummels Carlito into the corner. Carlito tags and power bombs Primo into Morrison! Primo fights off Miz from the apron but eats a springboard kick from Morrison. Cover by Morrison gets 2. Primo is the face in peril, as he takes punishment from both Morrison and Miz. Carlito eventually gets a hot tag and cleans house. Sit-down power bomb by Carlito but Morrison breaks the cover. Carlito goes for a springboard move, but Morrison pulls the ropes. Miz plants Carlito and gets the win at 7:43 (shown). Good showing from both teams, **¾.
Winners: John Morrison and The Miz
Jimmy Wang Yang vs. The Brian Kendrick (with Ezekiel Jackson)
Yang is dressed as John Wayne and is calling himself “John Wayne Yang” tonight. Yang outsmarts in the early going, so Kendrick angrily shoves. Yang quickens the pace, nailing a head scissors. Kendrick rebounds and goes after the arm. Hammerlock slam by Kendrick, but he misses a top rope move. Yang plants Kendrick for 2. Heel kick to the back of the head by Yang and a corner kick. Yang goes high risk and connects with a flying cross body for 2.5. Kendrick trips Yang into the turnbuckle but can’t connect with The Kendrick. Moonsault by Yang should’ve won the match, but Ezekiel pulls Kendrick to the floor, drawing a disqualification at 2:48. Good short match, *½.
Winner by DQ: Jimmy Wang Yang
-After the match, Ezekiel catches Yang and drops him on the apron. Ezekiel nails his version of the Rock Bottom in the ring on the helpless John Wayne Yang. Kendrick takes over and nails The Kendrick.
-The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh are backstage when they run into Kung Funaki. Khali says “size matters” and they go on their merry way.
-It’s time for The Great Khali’s Kiss-cam! Ranjin wishes everyone a happy Halloween on behalf of Khali. They start scanning the crowd for the woman in the best costume. They choose a woman dressed as a witch. Cue the softcore porn music, and Khali pecks her on the lips. The witch requests a French kiss. Ranjin says she needs to take her mask off in that case, but it turns out that’s her real face and the warts are real. Ranjin says that Khali is nervous and shy, so he needs a “Khali” chant, which he gets. Khali is reluctant, but he French kisses the witch. She enjoys it so much she faints. You know, I would never have believed how amusing these segments would turn out to be if I didn’t actually watch them.
Kane, Mark Henry (with Tony Atlas), and MVP vs. Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, and Rey Mysterio
Hurricane Helms appears during MVP’s entrance and tells him to try something new and win. Ouch. MVP has a huge incentive bonus to his paychecks coming his way, but it doesn’t kick in until he wins a match. Matt Hardy and Mark Henry start the match with some back and forth action. Jeff tags and sets Henry up for a tag to Matt. Matt goes high risk, Henry catches him, but Jeff chop blocks Henry’s leg allowing Matt’s cross body to work. MVP tags and is too eager. Rey gets a tag and cleans house on MVP, gaining a near fall in the process. Matt and Jeff make quick tags, set up MVP for a double suplex, and tag Rey to assist in planting MVP. Cover by Rey gets 2. Rey goes high risk but gets caught on MVP’s shoulders. Rey counters, setting up the 619, but Kane trips him and swings him to the floor. Time for the break.
After the commercial, MVP is in control of Mysterio. The heels are making quick tags now to keep Rey isolated. After a stretch of vicious beatings, Rey counters Kane and makes a hot tag to Jeff. Jeff cleans house on the newly tagged in MVP and kicks Henry off the apron. Whisper in the Wind by Jeff gets a near fall that’s broken by Kane. Matt removes Kane from the ring and Rey follows up with a cross body to the floor. The Hardy’s double team MVP, but Jeff’s Twist of Fate is countered. Matt hits the Twist of Fate himself, and Jeff nails the Swanton Bomb on MVP for the win at 7:23 (shown). This was good stuff, ***.
Winners: Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, and Rey Mysterio
-Vladimir Kozlov makes his way to the ring. Uh oh, I think he’s going to talk. Hurricane Helms appears in the corner of the screen and mimics Kozlov’s facial expression. Kozlov blames the fans for being soft and lazy and not voting for him to have faced Triple H at Cyber Sunday. Kozlov issues a challenge to The Game. Naturally, Triple H comes down to the ring to address Kozlov. Triple H calls him “Boris” and tells him that all the ambushes and cheap shots end now. If Kozlov wants to fight, he must look him in the eye and just do it. Kozlov doesn’t want to fight, he’s already proved he can beat him up, he just wants a shot at the title. And when that happens, Vladimir Kozlov will be “king.” Triple H makes fun of Russia and compares Kozlov to the big Russian villain from Rocky 4. And at the end of that movie, the American kicks the living crap out of the Russian. To sum it up, if Kozlov wants a title shot, take it up with Vickie, but in the mean time they should just fight. Kozlov backs away from Triple H. See, all Russians are cowards and this segment proves it. Xenophobic undertones aside, this was effective.
-The same John Cena video package from ECW airs again.
Maria, Brie Bella, and Michelle McCool vs. Natalya, Maryse, and Victoria
The Divas are wearing their Cyber Sunday costumes. Victoria the banana starts the match against Maria the stripper bunny. Hurricane Helms says the divas make him “pop up.” Natalya the cop tags and is too slow for Maria. Brie Bella, aka Cleopatra, tags and continues to overwhelm Natalya. Natalya catches Brie off the ropes and hits a fall away slam. Maryse the French maid tags and hits a tirt-a-whirl backbreaker on Brie for 2. I think the French maid should be Maryse’s permanent gimmick, anyone with me? Eh? Eh? Ditto for Victoria and the banana, as she tags and keeps up the ongoing beating on Brie. As per usual, Brie hides under the ring and reemerges ready to fight (spoiler: she has a twin!!!). Michelle the army brat gets a tag and it’s peanut butter jelly time for Victoria. Maria tags herself in and nails a flying cross body on Victoria for the win at 4:02. Ooooh, the tension between Michelle and Maria continues to grow. The match was good enough, though entertaining for obvious reasons, *.
Winners: Maria, Brie Bella, and Michelle McCool
Chavo Guerrero vs. The Undertaker
Just before the match begins, Big Show comes out to the arena. He seems content to stay on the stage and watch the match. Chavo is cautious in the early going but gets freaked out by the casket and runs into Taker’s boot. Taker throws him to the floor and pursues. Taker drives Chavo into the barricade and drops him on the casket. Taker props Chavo’s head in the casket and slams the cover onto him. Taker abandons Chavo to talk smack to Big Show. Taker misses a running boot towards Chavo and collides with the casket. Guerrero takes advantage with a series of strikes to the head. Chavo leaps off the apron, but Taker catches and drives him into the barricade. Back to the ring, Chavo surprises with a DDT. Chavo motions for Big Show to join them and fetches a chair. Chavo misses the chair shot and eats a backdrop. Snake eyes by Undertaker and a big boot. Taker goes to place Chavo in the casket, but Big Show shuts it. Chavo drives the chair into the back of Taker’s knee. Taker rebounds with a chokeslam. Big Show rushes the ring and beats down Undertaker. Taker fights back, but Big Show gets the better of a slug fest. Taker drops Big Show over the ropes onto the casket. Taker hits the Tombstone piledriver on Chavo and rolls him into the casket for the win at 7:01. Match didn’t really do much for me, *¾.
Winner: The Undertaker
-Vickie Guerrero tells Vladimir Kozlov that if he can beat The Undertaker next week, he can face Triple H for the WWE title at Survivor Series.
Final Thoughts: Another week of the same old holding pattern for Smackdown. Big Show/Undertaker continues, MVP is still jobbing, Brian Kendrick is still beating undercard guys, and Khali’s amusing kiss-cam continues to flourish. None of these are bad things, but it supports the argument that you can easily skip Smackdown and not feel like you missed anything. Eventually, they have to pull the trigger on some storylines, though when they do it seems to wait for pay-per-views. Luckily, there were some good matches here, so otherwise no complaints.
Thumbs in the middle, leaning up.
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