Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
- We start this week’s show with a recap of last week’s goings on involving JeriShow, DX and John Cena. We then hit our opening animation before heading inside the Sheffield Arena where we are on tape from Jolly Ol’ England! Michael Cole welcomes us to Raw as we are just a scant two weeks away from Survivor Series. And right out of the gate, Justin Roberts brings out tonight’s Guest Host: Ricky Hatton. He makes his way out, escorted by the Bella Twins, natch. The crowd welcomes him warmly as Cole and King put him over a bit. Hatton welcomes us to Raw and talks about his memories in Sheffield. We even get some clips of his title unification match from a few years and 75 pounds ago. He talks a bit more about his excitement before he is rudely interrupted by JeriShow. They are looking super swank as always as they strut down to the ring with smiles on their faces. Show gets right up to Hatton and stares down at him, saying his breakfast was bigger than Hatton is. Show isn’t impressed with Hatton’s credentials and asks him to leave the ring. Hatton wants to why Show has to act like this because he is a big fan of WWE and Big Show. Well, he loves when Show got knocked out at Wrestlemania anyway. Show says he wants to give Hatton a free shot, just like he did for Mayweather. The difference is that Show gets to knock Hatton out after he takes his swing. Show awaits but Hatton says he needs a ladder to take up the challenge. Show drops to his knees and offers the shot again. Hatton is about to strike but Jericho cuts him off and calls him “little man”. Jericho doesn’t want Show to get embarrassed by another lowlife boxer. They get into a little argument about their upcoming triple threat match at Survivor Series. Show calls Jericho “Napoleon” and says he will be walking out as the new Champion at Survivor Series. Hatton has had enough and he wants to see JeriShow defending their tag team titles against DX. Jericho rips on Hatton, the British fans and the Royal Family. Hatton says he can’t understand a word Jericho is saying and asks him to speak English. Jericho calls him a “punch drunk” but Hatton says Jericho is just a guy with a bad haircut. They circle around Hatton until DX heads to the ring to save Ricky. Hunter asks JeriShow why they keep messing with the Guest Hosts when they always end up getting embarrassed. He says Hatton was ten seconds away from knocking both of them out before DX came out. The crowd chants for Ricky as Hunter thanks him for the match tonight. Shawn wants to throw down right now instead of later. Show disrobes as Jericho hits the deck. Show shakes his fists a bit before quickly turning around and leaving the ring. JeriShow head up the aisle as Hatton and DX play to the crowd and we head off to break.
- The Ratchet & Clank Slam of the Week takes us to last week’s Diva Battle Royal, which was won by Alicia Fox. Back live, we head to the ring for our opening match.
1) Kelly vs. Alicia Fox
Kelly makes her way out first and she is joined by Gail Kim, her partner at the upcoming Survivor Series. Alicia is out next and she is accompanied by Jillian. Cole tells us that Alicia will get her title match next week on Raw, live from MSG. Kelly takes Alicia down and hammers away at her. Alicia drives her into the middle rope and then spikes her into the mat face first for two. Melina is watching the match backstage as she preps for the title match next week. Alicia clotheslines Kelly and then she spikes her into the mat again. Alicia hooks a rear chinlock but Kelly works out of it. She lands a clothesline and a face plant and then follows with a headscissors takeover for two. Kelly hits a Rocker Dropper and gets another near fall. Kelly goes for another headscissors takeover but Alicia hot shots her across the top rope. Alicia follows with a big scissors kick for the win. Alicia d. Kelly with a scissors kick; Grade: .5
- Alicia mocks Kelly as Cole takes us to a special Wrestlemania ticket sale video package. Backstage, Ricky Hatton and his son are walking the walls and greeting various people, including John Cena. After an unintelligible exchange, the Hattons head off as we go to break.
- We are back and the King is thanking Art of Dying for the Survivor Series theme song “Get Through This”. Cole then takes back to last week when Sheamus made his Raw debut by destroying Jamie Noble. King tells us that Noble is contemplating retirement after that beating.
2) Sheamus vs. British Jobber
As Sheamus hits the ring, we find out that he will be on Miz’s team at Survivor Series. Sheamus has the mic and takes credit for ending Noble’s career last week. They lock up off the bell and Sheamus just clubs the jobber down. He clubs away at him and beats him viciously all around the ring. He crushes him with the Urinage backbreaker and then drills him with a stiff kick. He hoists the jobber up and drops with a Crucifix Powerbomb for the win. I am so pumped that move is finally back! Sheamus keeps on rolling. I hope they give him the Bad News Brown treatment at the PPV and have him walk out on his team. Sheamus d. Jobber with a Crucifix Powerbomb; Grade: 1
- Sheamus celebrates his destruction as we take a break.
- We are back from break and Cole is pimping the Survivor Series section of WWE.com. They then show us some stills of the Hatton Health & Fitness Center in Hyde. Backstage, the Bellas are chatting up Ricky, giving him a chance to promote himself. I don’t have an idea about anything he is saying, sadly. The Bellas as Ricky for some darts lessons but Santino Marella interrupts, dressed in some interesting boxing garb. Apparently he is “Ricky Fatton”. Santino says that British ladies love fat guys with bad teeth. Chavo now comes in for more of our weekly hijinks. Chavo says he won the Cinco Dart Mayo competition three years in a row and wants to show off a bit. Chavo grabs a dart but misses badly. Hatton steps up and drills a bulls-eye. Chavo shrugs it off and challenges Santino to a match. Hatton steps in and says he wants to see boxer vs. wrestler so he will take on Chavo tonight. The crowd likes that one. Chavo storms off as Santino offers to be in Hatton’s corner. Elsewhere, Josh Matthews is with Miz. Miz reminds us that he defeated John Morrison at Bragging Rights and claims he will do it again at Survivor Series. He puts over his team, calling them the future of WWE. Before he can finish, Jack Swagger comes in to chat. Swagger reminds us that he is still undefeated, per his promise from five weeks ago. They argue a bit more until Swagger heads of and we hit a break.
3) Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
We are back from break and Evan Bourne is heading down to the ring for our next bout. Swagger is out next and is oozing confidence. Swagger picks up Bourne off the bell and slams him down the mat. Swagger spikes Bourne down and then hits a Vader Bomb. Swagger hooks a surfboard submission as the crowd rallies Bourne. Swagger buries a shoulder to Bourne’s gut but he eats a knee on a follow up attempt. Bourne takes Swagger down for two. He roll Swagger up and gets another near fall. Bourne kicks away at Swagger but jack clubs him back down. Swagger hoists Bourne up but he rides Swagger down with knees to the face. Swagger kicks Bourne down as Miz’s music fires up and the captain heads down to the ring. Swagger hits a Urinage but he allows Bourne to roll to the apron. Bourne blocks a suplex and kicks Swagger in the face. Bourne heads up top and hits a beautiful Air Bourne for the win! Swagger’s streak is dead. Bourne picks up a nice win in another good match between these two. Bourne d. Swagger with Air Bourne; Grade: 2
- Miz reminds Swagger that he is the team captain at Survivor Series and not Swagger. Jack stares at Miz as we take a break.
- When we return, we see some clips of two weeks ago when Kyle Busch and Joey Logano showed off their WWE race cars. We then get highlights of them racing said cars this past weekend. Busch won the race as well and showed off his WWE Championship belt post race. Back in the arena, the VIP Lounge is set up and MVP and Mark Henry are chilling inside it. MVP welcomes us to the show and Mark Henry brings out their guest, Kofi Kingston, with a great introduction. MVP also tells us that Kingston is the captain of their Survivor Series team. Kofi hits the ring and is all smiles. Kofi puts over MVP and Henry a bit before MVP tells the tale of Kofi destroying Orton’s car. Henry then takes us to clips from last week when Kofi, MVP and Henry defeated Legacy. Kofi says that is only a taste of what is to come at Survivor Series. MVP has Henry pop a bottle of champagne so they can raise a toast to Kofi. Before they can drink up, Legacy stalks down to the ring. They try to get into the VIP Lounge, but the security guard stands in their way. Orton stares him down until he opens the rope and lets them in. All six men stare each down until Orton starts to speak. He says Henry, MVP and Kofi are low class street thugs. Henry stole a victory last week, MVP is the definition of a common criminal and Kofi should be in jail after destroying Randy’s car. The only reason Orton hasn’t put Kofi down yet is so he can embarrass him at the PPV. Cody calls MVP “Montel” and rips on the VIP Lounge. Ted makes fun of the pleather couches and cheap champagne. He also tells MVP that his bank account is larger, but MVP clarifies that it is his dad’s account. Orton says Legacy belongs in the ring while Henry, Kofi and MVP belong in the hood where they came from. An intense stare down rages on as we take a break.
4) Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton
When we return from break, the match is already underway. They circle around each other until Orton grabs a side headlock. Henry plants him with a shoulderblock but Orton kicks his knee and trips him into the middle buckle. Orton stomps away at Henry and then hammers away in the corner. Henry hooks a bear hug but Orton slugs free. Henry knocks him back to the mat and gets two. Henry misses an elbow drop and Orton lands some boots to the arms and legs. He follows with a leaping kneedrop for two. Orton keeps putting the boots to Henry before hooking a front facelock. Orton gets a near fall and then drops some more knees to the face. Orton hooks a chinlock as the crowd stirs a bit. Cole tells us that MVP and DiBiase will wrestle on Superstars this week. Henry fights up and slams Orton to the mat for two. They trade some right hands before Henry plants Orton with a clothesline. Orton bails to the corner and Henry splashes him. He lands a series of headbutts as Orton is staggering in the corner. Henry drops his head down on a whip and Orton goes for a sunset flip. Henry fights it and pulls Orton up by his throat but Orton slinks free and hits the RKO for the win. That was a basic match that had a neat finish. Orton gets a much needed win there too. Orton d. Henry with the RKO; Grade: 1.5
- Kofi comes in to check on Henry but Orton comes in get in his face. Kofi fights him off and Legacy bails as we take a break.
- As we return, Cole tells us that the new Raw theme will debut next week. It is entitled “Burn It To The Ground” and is performed by Nickelback. Sigh.
5) Chavo Guerrero vs. Ricky Hatton in a Boxer vs. Wrestler Mixed Martial Arts match
And with that, Chavo Guerrero is making his way down to the ring. Lawler talks about his boxer vs. wrestler match with Leon Spinks back in the day. Hatton is out next, wearing his boxing gear and a sombrero to mock Chavo. This is Hatton’s first match since May. Justin Roberts gives us the big match introductions and runs down the rules. Hatton gets a big hometown pop and apparently only weighs slightly over 140 pounds and Lawler is as incredulous about that one as I am. Chavo bails to the apron to start, avoiding the charging Hatton. The crowd is serenading Hatton as he eggs them on. Hatton peppers Chavo with some jabs in the corner but Chavo quickly rolls out to the floor. Chavo comes back and takes Hatton down, but Ricky escapes and both men get back up. Chavo catches him with a kick and clubs on his back. Chavo tries to take him down but Hatton smacks him with a big right hand. Chavo can’t beat the count and Hatton wins the match via knock out. Hatton d. Guerrero via knockout; Grade: 0
- Hatton greets his fans around ringside as we go to break.
- Back live, Cole and King run down the Survivor Series card as the show is just two weeks away. Backstage, John Cena is talking to Hornswoggle, who is still wearing the DX gear. Cena warns him to stop wearing it or he will lose a lot of money in court. Horny runs off as DX comes in looking for him but Cena tells them to focus on their match tonight instead of finding Horny. They discuss Survivor Series as Hunter gets a funny “Tweeting” joke in, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Michaels says that Cena is distracting them and playing the old shell game in hiding the Leprechaun. Cena calls the “whimsical Leprechaun” Horny back in and he is now wearing Cena gear this time. After DX takes off, Horny rips off the Cena shirt and hat to reveal the DX merch. He laughs and crotch chops as we take a break. That was a funny little segment.
- We are back and Cole takes us back to last week to see clips of the Osbournes taking Raw for a ride on the crazy train. I could watch Chris Masters’ performance art presentation of Crazy Train all day long. Not that there’s anything wrong that. Back live, Cole tells us that Roddy Piper will be in the house next week as he hosts Raw from MSG! We are then joined by John Cena who gets a big split reaction, as is the norm. Cena hops in on commentary as it is main event time.
6) Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. Chris Jericho & Big Show for the Unified Tag Team Championship
JeriShow is out first as Cole reminds us that Jericho will take on Undertaker on Smackdown. It is the first ever one on one match for those two, so check it out. DX is out next and they get a jolly good pop. Cena is so much better when he just speaks like a normal human being as he is doing on commentary right now. Jericho and Michaels kick things off as Chris puts him down with a shoulderblock. Michaels comes back with a chop and then tags in Hunter. He runs Jericho into the corner but eats a boot on a charge. Jericho slugs away and follows with some boots to the gut. Hunter ducks a clothesline and lands a high knee. Hunter takes Jericho down and slingshots him over the top to the floor as we take our final break. When we come back, Jericho drills Michaels with a kick to the face before tagging in Show. Michaels dropkicks Show’s knee but can only get a one count. Michaels leaps onto Show but Show spikes him back to the mat with a headbutt. Show walks across Michaels and tags in Jericho. Cena is proving some good insight about the upcoming triple threat match on commentary. Jericho tags in Show, who clubs Michaels across the back to maintain control. Michaels is able to crawl over and tag in Hunter. He hits a facebreaker and goes for the Pedigree but Show backdrops out of it. He nails Hunter with a spear and beats on him a bit before tagging Jericho back in. Jericho hooks a modified sleeper as Hunter fights to his feet. Jericho takes Hunter down and gets two. The crowd is pretty much dead at this point which is surprising. Jericho tags in Show and they give Hunter the wishbone treatment. Show stands on Hunter’s back as Cena’s commentary continues to be the best part of the match. Show hits a big splash and gets two. Show grabs a reverse bear hug and then releases it and lands some hard right hands to the gut. He tags in Jericho but Hunter starts to fire back a bit. Jericho regains control but Hunter catches him with a spinebuster. Hunter crawls over and tags Shawn. He hits all the Vintage Michaels maneuvers on Jericho, taking out Show in the process. Shawn tunes up the band but Jericho ducks it and takes Shawn down. Shawn avoids the Walls but Show splashes him from behind. Show swings at Michaels, but he ducks and Show cracks Jericho with a big right hand. Hunter takes Show out and Michaels covers Jericho for the win. This was totally paint by numbers and pretty heatless. Michaels & Triple H d. Jericho & Show when Michaels pins Jericho after a Show punch to the head; Grade: 2
- As DX regroups in the ring, Justin Roberts tells us that next week’s main event will see DX battle JeriShow and Cena & Undertaker in a triple threat match! Taker appears to a huge pop. He stands on the ramp and all six men stare each other down as we fade out. This was a solid enough show tonight and I will say that it was very focused throughout. Hatton was fine in the role but he was hard to understand. The crowd was pretty flat and wasn’t nearly as hot as past British crowds. Still, we got some really good PPV build and a couple of decent matches mixed in. Next week’s show brings us home to New York City as Raw will emanate live from Madison Square Garden. See you then!
Final Grade: C-
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