June 18 2007
Last week Vince McMahon got into his limousine and the
damn thing blew up. ECW and Smackdown spent huge
portions of their shows paying tribute to Vinnie Mac.
Now, one week after the "tragedy" it is time for this
plot to pick up... I hope. The show opens with a video
package putting the angle over, complete with the fake
spokesperson for the McMahon family.
Mick Foley is in the ring, wearing a suit. Foley got
special permission to have this interview time because
he feels his words against Vince last week were
"inappropriate" and had he known that Vince was going
to "spontaneously combust" he would've handled things
differently. Between the crowd's reaction to him
tonight and last week, Foley seems to have lost his
clout with the current audience. No surprise there.
Mick is interrupted by Randy "Suckbag" Orton, who
grabs the microphone and makes fun of Mick's tie.
Orton thinks that Foley meant every bad word he ever
said about Vince, and thinks Mick had all the
motivation to blow up the limousine. They are now
interrupted by King Booker, who is here to straighten
things out. Booker claims there is a federal
investigator at the arena, who spent an hour speaking
to Bobby Lashley. Booker suggests that Lashley was so
angry over winning the McMahon feud that he blew him
up, and cites Lashley's experience in the army
rangers. This brings out Lashley, who pushes Booker
out of the ring and stares a hole in Mick. Before any
further incident, WWE Champion John Cena graces us
with his presence. Cena reminds us that this isn't Law
and Order, but Monday Night Raw. Well, that explains
why there is a wrestling ring there. Cena puts over
how ridiculous it is for everyone to be pointing
fingers at one another, mainly because anyone could
have done it (especially those associated with the
XFL). Cena says we should "Get on with the show" but
Coach interrupts. Coach reminds us that the five
wrestlers in the arena are main eventing Vengeance,
and reminds everyone that he is in charge of Raw.
Therefore tonight, we will see King Booker and Randy
Orton vs. Bobby Lashley and John Cena. Oh, and Mick is
facing Umaga. Oh, and no mention of adding The Sandman
to the Vengeance main event, despite him being a
former ECW World Champion. All kidding aside, this
wasn't a bad opening segment, as it adds some much
needed heat to Vengeance, which is coming too fast on
the heels of One Night Stand to feel like anything
Next Monday: another three hour Raw featuring all the
WWE superstars for the continuing federal
investigation. Great, another excuse to have
interpromotional matches, and only two weeks after the
Brian Kendrick and Paul London vs. Shelton Benjamin
and Charlie Haas
London and Kendrick come out to a nice reception from
the crowd, I really hope they aren't about to be
completely buried. London and Haas square off. Haas
takes London down, but is soon rolled up in an early
cover attempt. Haas corners London, who fights off
both him and Benjamin. Nasty kick from the apron by
Benjamin. Haas stomps and tags Benjamin in. Benjamin
does a variation of the throwback and gets a quick
cover attempt. Irish whip with authority by Benjamin.
London blocks a punch and gets some shots in before
Benjamin reestablishes his control. London makes some
desperate attempts to a tag and finally gets Kendrick
in. Kendrick cleans house with a series of drop kicks
and heel kicks. Benjamin interrupts a cover by
Kendrick on Haas. London dumps Benjamin from the ring,
and Kendrick blocks the German suplex and hits Sliced
Bread #2 and pins Haas at 3:21! Hurray, London and
Kendrick are being pushed on Raw! Match was too short
to go anywhere, but it sure beats London's Smackdown
debut, where he was crushed by Brock Lesnar, *.
Winners: Brian Kendrick and Paul London
Backstage, the federal investigator is talking to
Coach. I bet Coach was behind this, he's a sick man.
After a break, we are joined in the arena by Carlito!
I bet he killed Vince! Remember, Carlito once put a
hit on John Cena and had him stabbed in a night club
by a sweaty Cuban guy. Carlito reminds us that his
name is Carlito and that everyone knows he's cool.
Carlito extends his sympathies to the McMahon family,
but really just wants to talk about the draft. Carlito
is pleased that Flair and Torrie got drafted away from
Raw. Carlito is then joined by The Sandman, who is
armed with a Singapore cane! Sandman swings at
Carlito, who ducks out of the ring and heads up the
ramp without any further incident. So Sandman is
actually in a feud on Raw? That is surprising, I had
predicted his introduction to Raw would have been
jobbing to Umaga in a Balls Mahoney fashion.
Backstage, Cryme Tyme pay their respects to Mr.
McMahon. Oh wait, it's a swerve! You see, Vince was a
capitalist! This turns into a mock infomercial where
Cryme Tyme is trying to sell McMahon memorabilia, like
his coffee cup and trash can lining. They pimp the
WWE's auction website, so maybe this is legit after
all. They are interrupted by the federal investigator.
Daivari vs. Jeff Hardy
The new World Tag Team Champions, Lance Cade and
Trevor Murdoch, are at ringside. They will be facing
the Hardy's at Vengeance. Daivari and Hardy lock up,
with Daivari taking control in the early going. Hardy
hits a head scissors takedown and a scoop slam. Hardy
goes high risk, but Daivari crotches him on the
turnbuckle and pulls him to the mat. Daivari pounds on
Hardy and twists the head for a rest spot. Hardy
fights out, but Daivari slams him to the mat for a
cover. More resting by Daivari. Hardy fights out and a
slug fest occurs. Daivari runs into a takedown. Hardy
gains momentum, hitting the whisp of the wind for a
very close fall. Mule kick by Hardy sends Daivari to
the turnbuckles. Turnbuckle stomp by Hardy gets a
close fall. Suplex by Hardy gets another cover.
Daivari comes back with a power slam and gets a two
count. Hardy then hits the Twist of Fate and goes high
risk. Swanton Bomb by Hardy is enough to put Daivari
away at 4:27! Not a bad little match, and it was good
to see some effort to make Daivari look strong at
Winner: Jeff Hardy
After the match, Lance Cade takes the microphone and
claims that Matt and Jeff showed him and Murdoch some
unsportsman-like conduct. Murdoch claims that he and
Cade were merely responding and did not start
anything. Hardy slingshots himself onto the champions
and single handedly wins the exchange. Way to put over
your tag team champions.
Backstage, Coach is complaining on the phone about him
being treated like a suspect. Coach had no idea how
much McMahon was responsible for, and he's trying to
fill his shoes. There's a knock at the door, and Coach
is joined by the Iron Sheik, who rambles about wanting
his own talk show. Considering I can barely understand
a word Sheik is saying, I would have to recommend
against allowing any such thing to take place. Coach
leaves while Sheik continues the rant, and Ron Simmons
comes in for the trademark "DAMN!"
Elsewhere, William Regal introduces himself to Maria.
They are joined by Intercontinental Champion Santino
Marella. Regal is stuck on Santino being Italian and
storms off. Maria wants Santino to say something in
Italian, because she is a moron and is amused by it.
Todd Grisham then conducts the interview the world has
been waiting for: he has Vince's limo driver! Thomas
Pagliaro is his name, and he claims that he was away,
talking to his wife on the limo when the whole thing
went down. "If I had been near the limo, I would have
been blown up to" is the best insight he has to offer.
Mick Foley vs. Umaga
Foley cheap shots Umaga on the apron, resulting in a
ringside brawl. The action spills into the ring, and
the bell hasn't even rung yet. Foley pounds Umaga into
the corner, but is taken down by a clothesline. Umaga
beats Foley out of the ring and leaps for an ax
handle, but Foley strikes him in mid-air. Foley grabs
a chair and cracks it over Umaga's skull. Umaga
doesn't go down and grabs the chair to crack on
Foley's skull as an act of revenge. Umaga sets up
Foley against the steps for the running ass shot,
which looked absolutely brutal! The brawl appears to
be over, as Umaga leaves satisfied. No rating, since
the match was not official.
Backstage, we see the investigator talking to John
Cena from afar. Meanwhile, a limousine pulls into the
parking area, but the camera fades to a commercial
before we get to find out who was inside.
After a break, we see Foley receiving medical
treatment. The investigator comes in and thinks now is
an appropriate time to question Foley, but the doctor
send s him away.
Injury-prone Mr. Kennedy comes to the arena for an
interview. The crowd is really into his act. Kennedy
is furious for many reasons, including the loss of
McMahon. Kennedy is also mad that he got drafted to
Raw! Yes! Awesome! I like where this is going! Kennedy
says he didn't get along with the Smackdown audience,
but he really doesn't like the Raw audience at all.
The Raw has no respect for talent, and cites the
treatment they used to give Mr. McMahon. I was hoping
Kennedy would be complaining about being taken away
from Smackdown to gain revenge on Edge, but whatever.
Kennedy continues to put over how wonderful Vince was
and dedicates the remainder of his career to him. Good
introduction promo by Kennedy, even though it didn't
go in the direction I was hoping it would.
Backstage, we see the parked limousine, with the
driver standing by the door. Still no clue as to who
We take ten seconds to remember Sensational Sherri
with a graphic. Nice, WWE, now let's spend another
hour paying tribute to Vince.
Melina and Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James and Candice
Yes! It is high time Jillian got a shot on Raw.
Unfortunately, she's still doing the delusional singer
gimmick. Don't get me wrong, it cracks me up, but it's
the type of dead end gimmick that usually results in a
wrestler being fired because "creative had nothing for
them." On a side note, it looks as if Candice is
having much more fun out there now. It may be due to
her face turn, but it's kind of charming.
Jillian and Candice start things off, with Jillian
working the arm. Candice reverses, and rolls up
Jillian for a cover. Melina distracts from outside,
but Candice kicks her off. Jillian swings Candice by
the hair. Jillian hits a cartwheel elbow shot for a
cover. Melina tags in, and Jillian holds Candice still
for some kicks. Melina ties Candice up in the ropes
for some heel trickery. Cover by Melina gets two.
Jillian tags back in and stomps and pulls on the hair.
Jillian directs Candice's head into Melina's boot.
Melina tags in and quickly botches a flap jack move.
Cover by Melina gets two. Candice recovers and slams
Melina's skull to the mat. Melina repeatedly prevents
Candice from making the tag, but Mickie finally gets
in and cleans house. Jillian storms in, but Mickie
fights her off with a head scissors takedown. Mickie
hits a neckbreaker on Melina, but Jillian breaks up
the cover. Jillian and Melina double team Mickie, but
Candice takes out Jillian with a spear. Meanwhile
Mickie rolls up Melina for an extremely close near
fall. Melina then slams Mickie and covers her for the
victory at 4:49. This was a generally sloppy match,
which is sad considering that this is really the best
the Raw women's division has to offer anymore ,*.
Winners: Melina and Jillian Hall
After a break, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler pay more
tribute to Vince. Seriously, enough is enough. We are
then treated to the footage of Vince's limousine
blowing up again, in case you missed last Raw, ECW,
and Smackdown. I will also note that so far there has
been a total of three matches and less than 15 minutes
of wrestling, and it's currently 10:35. After watching
the firemen put the fire out for the millionth time,
we see the new limousine parked outside the arena yet
again. Dammit, I'm actually curious to see who's in
there, but it looks as if we'll have to wait until the
end of the show.
Randy Orton and King Booker (with Queen Sharmell) vs.
John Cena and Bobby Lashley
Lashley and King Booker start off the match, because
their partners are racist. They stare each other down
and have a shoving match. They lock up, but it turns
into a slugfest with Lashley coming out on top. Suplex
by Lashley for a failed cover attempt. Booker thumbs
the eye while Lawler thinks this is the first time
Lashley and Booker have been in the ring together
(except they were the two in last year's King of the
Ring finals, and had a pretty good cage match and
feuded over the U.S. title, but Smackdown doesn't
count for anything in Raw?s continuity). Meanwhile,
Cena and Orton are tagged in, with Cena getting the
upper hand. Lashley breaks up a double team, and the
heels are both dumped to ringside. And it's time for a
After the break, we find Cena trapped in Randy Orton's
patented reverse chinlock. Seriously, these matches
are becoming so predictable that it's reaching levels
of self-parody. For now on when a match comes back
from commercial with the face trapped in a rest hold,
I'm automatically deducting half a star. Cena fights
out, of course, but King Booker is tagged in and takes
control. Lashley interrupts a cover attempt. Cena is
then trapped in an exciting sleeper hold by Booker.
Cena fights out, but Booker knocks him down and tags
in Suckbag. Orton randomly decides to stomp on Cena's
heels. Orton redirects his attack to Cena's chest area
and goes for a cover. That doesn't work, so it's time
for the chinlock! This is why Orton can never main
event Wrestlemania, because it would be the first time
the crowd chanted "boring" during the main event. Cena
gets to his feet and needs a tag, but Orton's chinlock
is just too much. Oh, but Cena gets second wind and
frees himself. Cena collides with Orton and they both
hit the mat hard. Lashley and Booker are both tagged
in, but Lashley dominates. Booker gets a boot to the
face, but eats a T-Bone suplex. Lashley goes for the
Dominator, but Orton breaks it up. Cena tries to get
involved, but gets kicked out by Booker. Lashley hits
the spinebuster on Booker, but Orton runs in and hits
the RKO on Lashley and gets the win at 12:52. This was
hideously boring and predictable, *.
Winners: Randy Orton and King Booker
Backstage, the limo door opens and out steps Stephanie
McMahon (to no crowd reaction). Great, nothing makes a
good show like a Stephanie appearance.
Snitsky gets a hype package! Now here's someone I
don't regret not seeing on the show this week. Oh, but
he's advertised for the three hour Raw next week. Oh
After the break, we see Stephanie and Coach having a
heart felt talk. Coach asks her if she's sure she
doesn't want him to escort her to the ring, but
Stephanie has something she must do on her own. Like
what, learn how to write a decent show?
Ross and Lawler are still mourning the loss of Mr.
McMahon, but that doesn't stop them from shilling the
(bad) Vengeance card.
It's time for the main event interview! Stephanie
McMahon makes her first Raw appearance in ages, yet
somehow I can't help but know that I'm going to be
sick of her again about five minutes from now.
Stephanie thanks everyone for their sympathy.
Stephanie announces that next week's Raw will be a
special three hour "celebration" of Mr. McMahon. What?
Last week was Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night. This
week's WWE shows were all Mr. McMahon Tribute Nights.
And next Raw is the Mr. McMahon Celebration Night?
This is a little much. Stephanie is on the verge of
tears, but becomes vindictive when it comes to finding
out who was responsible for the bombing. Stephanie
can't contain her sadness and tosses the microphone.
And the show ends. Seriously.
Final Thoughts: What. The. Fuck. This "death of
McMahon" has provided some humorous moments, but this
is becoming too much. Another three hour Raw? More
phony tribute shows? And don't get me started on the
wrestling this week, as it was mostly boring and
uninspiring and had main event that doesn't well
represent the talent involved (save for Randy Orton,
who is constantly reminding us of how incredibly
useless he is). However, I think the worst part of
this show was the building up of "who's in the
limousine" and for it to turn out to be Stephanie
McMahon, someone the current audience isn't even all
that familiar with, and to have the main event segment
being her announcing the theme of next week's show,
which is a theme that has been overdone to begin with!
So big thumbs down to Raw this week.
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