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Monday Night RAW May 5, 2008
by Sassy

Monday Night Raw is broadcast from Toronto, Ontario, Canada on the USA Network.

Ringside announcers: Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler

Ring announcer: Lillian Garcia

Interviews: Todd Grisham

Vince McMahon, CEO of WWE, is standing at the top of the entrance ramp. McMahon addresses the actions of Regal last week when he pulled the plug on a championship match. McMahon says that fans not only called WWE headquarters, fans sent emails. I’m having trouble hearing McMahon due to the calls of “asshole” from the audience. McMahon says that Regal reminds him a lot of himself and McMahon is at Raw to support Regal as General Manager of Raw and as King of the Ring.

Lillian Garcia introduces General Manager and King of the Ring, William Regal. Regal enters the ring and grabs a mic. Regal says that fans may not like him but they will respect him. Regal says that he can turn out the light at his discretion and will do so if he is not respected. The fans respond with “Regal sucks” chants from the live audience. Regal has the lights turned off in the arena and the fans respond with even louder chants of “Regal sucks”. Regal has the lights turned back on again. Regal says that the show will continue but fans may not be able to see it because he will not be disrespected any longer and Mr. Kennedy appears at the top of the entrance ramp and heads to the ring. Kennedy appears to have forgotten to pack his razor as he enters the ring and stands toe to toe with Regal. Kennedy says if Regal wants respect so much, all Regal has to do is go one on one with Kennedy in the ring tonight. Regal says that he is Kennedy’s superior and Kennedy tells Regal to prove it. Regal says that he will and that tonight Kennedy is in the main event and will be facing the ECW Champion Kane and the WWE Tag Team Champions, John Morrison and The Miz, and the Money in the Bank Winner, CM Punk, and the former ECW Champion, Chavo Guerrero, and Guerrero’s bodyguard. Regal tells Kennedy that he will be facing the entire ECW roster. As Regal says he will no longer tolerate being disrespected by any man and Tripe H enters the arena with his WWE Championship belt. HHH enters the ring. HHH asks Regal to beg his pardon for interrupting him and says that he is there to congratulate Regal on his new powers. HHH tells Regal that if he would like to maintain his newfound status, he should learn to not make mistakes. HHH tells Regal that he should not have turned the lights out on his match and that was a mistake. After the plug was pulled, Regal showed up in the ring to stop HHH's match last week and now Regal has disrespected HHH. HHH tells Regal he does not want to go to war with HHH. Regal says that he has changed tonight’s main event. It will now be the entire ECW Roster versus Mr. Kennedy and Triple H.

Jerry Lawler informs the audience that tonight it will be Mickie James defending her WWE Women’s Title against Beth Phoenix in a Lumberjack match and that match is next.

Women’s Championship Lumberjack Match:
Beth Phoenix from Buffalo, NY, Challenger Vs. Mickie James from Richmond, VA, Champion

I do have to admit that these two women can wrestle when given the opportunity. Unfortunately, the “lumberjack” theme seems to take away from the match. Phoenix goes for an early pin but doesn’t get the three count. Phoenix sends James outside the ring and there appears to be some fighting going on between the lumberjacks as Phoenix’s friends work on James on the floor. James delivers a neck breaker and goes for the pin but Phoenix kicks out. There is interference outside the ring as one of Phoenix’s friends grabs James by the leg. James bails out of the ring and there is a free for all on the floor. James is back in the ring, Phoenix goes for the pin and gets a two count before James kicks out and we go to COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH! Back from the break, Phoenix has James down in the center of the ring. James makes it back to her feet and delivers a kick to Phoenix’s jaw. James is using a lot of kicks in this match. Phoenix throws James out of the ring again, but James goes up on the top turnbuckle and takes down Phoenix with a flying dive. James goes for a cover but she only gets a two count. James delivers a kick to the head that sends Phoenix to the floor. Phoenix gets sent back into the ring, but she pulls Maria into the ring by the hair, Melina takes off a boot and tries to nail James, but James gets out of the way and Melina nails Phoenix instead. James goes for the rollup and gets the three count. Time: 6 minutes.

Winner: Mickie James with a roll up
James retains the WWE Women’s Championship

And I was correct. The lumberjack match took away from what should have been a very good match between Phoenix and James.

Regal is backstage in his office when Y2J Chris Jericho appears. They discuss the fake injury Jericho says Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels has. Regal says that tonight Jericho was be teaming with Michaels to face the WWE Tag Team Champions, John Morrison & The Miz.

Trevor Murdoch is backstage singing Stand By Your Man and Trish Stratus appears followed by Ron Simmons. Simmons says “Damn!” Jim Ross informs the audience that Ron Simmons became a member of the college football hall of fame.

Todd Grisham is backstage with Randy Orton and he asks Orton about the match last week and the fact that the match was cut short. Orton says that HHH did not have the match won and that Orton doesn’t necessarily agree with what Regal did but he respects his decision. Orton will face CM Punk, Mr. MITB, tonight. Orton tells the audience that he will defeat HHH at Judgment Day and will get his WWE Championship back. Lawler informs the audience that Rowdy Roddy Piper will be Carlito’s guest tonight on Carlito’s Cabana.

2 on 1 Handicap Match:
Paul Burchill & Katie Lea from Chelsea, England
John Cutler from Toronto, Canada, weighing 235 lbs.

Before the match begins, Regal appears at the top of the entrance ramp and says that he wants JR’s microphone turned off and there will be someone else at the announcer’s table. Regal introduces Mike Adamle to announce the next match. Lawler keeps asking JR if his mic is on and JR says apparently not as Adamle comes to the announcer’s table to take JR’s seat. I’m not sure which is more ridiculous, the 2 on 1 handicap matches with Burchill and his “sister” or the switch of announcers. I don’t know who Cutler is but the audience certainly cheered for him when he was introduced. The camera shows JR sitting over near the guardrail as Adamle spends the match discussing the female in the match. I do have to admit that Katie Lea does take hits from the opponents but she seems to be able to dish it out, too. The dive Katie took off the top rope didn’t look quite right when she landed on Cutler.

Winners: Katie Lea & Paul Burchill

I didn’t time the match and didn’t try to call it. I obviously am not a fan of these matches. I haven’t found a purpose for them.

Adamle leaves as soon as the match is over. JR doesn’t attempt to move back to his place at the announcer’s table. Michaels is backstage and Jericho shows up to talk to Michaels about the match they have together tonight. Michaels says that he is hurt but he will do his best in their match tonight.

Tag Team Match:
John Morrison from Los Angeles, CA & The Miz from Cleveland, OH, WWE Tag Team Champions Vs.
Y2J Chris Jericho weighing 222 lbs., WWE Intercontinental Champion & Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels from San Antonio, Texas

Michaels limps to the ring favoring his left leg. Jericho looks at him with disbelief. Jericho sends Michaels out on the ring apron. Jericho faces Miz in the ring. Miz comes off the ropes and Jericho knocks him down to the mat and then delivers a suplex. Miz comes off the ropes and is met with a drop kick. Miz tags in Morrison and Jericho takes Morrison down to the mat and then goes for a cover but can’t get the win. Jericho meets the ring post as Morrison slides out of the way. Morrison comes off the ropes and tries to go for the roll up, Miz tries to get involved but Jericho springboards off the ropes and nails Miz, sending him down to the floor. Morrison takes the opportunity to deliver a springboard kick to Jericho. Morrison tags in Miz. Michaels is trying to get the audience involved and it works. Jericho nails Morrison on the ring apron with an elbow, but Miz catches Jericho in the chest and then tags in Morrison. The referee makes Morrison back away from Jericho in the corner. Jericho tries to get to Michaels for a pin but Morrison cuts him off. Morrison catches Jericho’s boot , Miz enters the ring, Jericho has the walls of Jericho but Morrison takes out Jericho and then Morrison nails Michaels on the ring apron. Michaels enters the ring to take out Morrison with a super kick, Jericho springboards off the ropes and lands on Morrison, goes for the cover and gets the three count. Time: 4 minutes

Winners: Y2J Chris Jericho with a springboard splash & HBK Shawn Michaels

As Michaels limps out of the arena, Jericho looks like he doesn’t know if Michaels is really injured or not.

Randy Orton from St. Louis, MO, weighing 245 lbs. Vs.
CM Punk from Chicago, IL, weighing 222 lbs., MITB Winner, Representing ECW

I’m saying it – CM Punk has a lot more talent in the ring than Orton has and I would have liked to see Punk take the WWE Title away from Orton. The bell rings and the two lock up. Punk sends Orton into the ropes but Orton comes off with a shoulder block that sends Punk to the mat. They lock up again with Orton applying a side headlock. Punk sends Orton off the ropes again and again catches the shoulder block. Punk delivers a kick to Orton’s head. Punk sends Orton out onto the floor. Punk hops over to the ring apron but Orton pulls Punk off back first onto the floor. Orton rolls Punk back into the ring and goes for the cover but Punk kicks out. Orton goes to work stomping on various parts of Punk’s body. Punk rolls out of the way of a knee drop, gets back to his feet and delivers kicks to Orton. Punk misses a springboard off the ropes and Orton goes for the pin, getting a two count before Punk powers out. Orton comes off the ropes and catches Punk’s knee to the abdomen. Punk continues with kicks and knees, delivers a bulldog, goes for the cover and gets a two count. Punk delivers a dropkick as Orton comes off the ropes. Regal appears at the top of the entrance ramp then turns off the lights and says that the match is officially over. Time: 4 minutes

Winner: Who the hell knows? The time we got to SEE the match was 4 minutes.

Grisham is backstage with Orton and he asks about the lights being turned off. Orton says that this is two weeks in a row that his matches have been stopped and he is going to Regal’s office to find out what the hell is going on.

Carlito is in the ring for his Carlito’s Cabana segment. Carlito shows the video of the encounter between Santino Marella and Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper slapped Marella and Carlito doesn’t think that was cool. Carlito introduces his guest for this week, Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper enters the ring to chants of the fans. Carlito welcomes Piper and then says that he understands how annoying Santino can be but says that Piper took it a little too far. Piper tells Carlito says that his entire life he has been taking it too far. Piper says that he beat Mr. T, he beat Hulk Hogan and he beat cancer and he doesn’t have the time to play nice with the Super Mario Brother. Piper says he isn’t Dr. Phil and he doesn’t have time to sit around and talk about what he did. Piper said he handled things his way and his way was with a slap. Carlito says that the guy Piper slapped is Carlito’s partner and a future tag team champion and Carlito says that he would have slapped Piper back. Piper says Carlito should be glad he didn’t bring a seagull to beat up Carlito. Santino Marella enters the ring with mic in hand and he tells Carlito that Carlito doesn’t have to do anything because Marella is going to handle it. Marella says that he will soon be tag team champion with Carlito. Piper tells Marella he needs to get a designated driver. Piper finds himself surrounded in the ring but then Cody Rhodes appears at the top of the entrance ramp. Rhodes says that is not how to treat a legend. Hardcore Holly is not there tonight but Cryme Tyme wants to meet The Hot Rod and the three of them enter the ring to go after Carlito and Marella as both bail out of the ring and out of the line fire. Cryme Tyme says tonight it’s not about money, money. It’s about Rowdy, Rowdy, yeah, yeah.

JBL is in the parking garage and he is talking to the fans about JBL. He says he is going to take the fans on a trip via JBL’s stretch limo. JBL is facing John Cena at Judgment Day. JBL says he is going to give the fans a preview of Judgment Day.

John Bradshaw Layfield Vs. DH Smith from Canada
DH has certainly had a run of bad luck with opponents when he shows up in the WWE ring. JBL makes fun of the Hart Foundation. I have a feeling that this isn’t going to be a match, it’s going to be nothing more than a beat down. Isn’t that all JBL has done since he has been back in the ring? Clothesline from hell and a cover. JBL gets the three count. Time: 1 minute

Winner: John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL must have a death wish because he continues to beat on DH Smith after the match is over – and the show IS in Canada. It took something like 4 referees to back JBL up. Unfortunately for DH Smith, there was very little reaction from the live audience.

Raw General Manager William Regal is backstage with the ECW locker room. He wants everyone to put all of their petty differences aside and go out on Raw and make a statement. Regal says he expects a victory and anything else will be considered a disappointment. Everyone files out and Kane is last, stopping to stare down Regal before he exits the locker room.

Lawler and JR remind the audience that the general manager of Smackdown stripped Undertaker of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. I’m not going to repeat how stupid I felt that was.

ECW Locker Room:
John Morrison, Chavo Guerrero, Bam Neely, The Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin, The Miz, Matt Striker, Kofi Kingston, Nunzio, Mike Knox, Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, Elijah Burke, CM Punk, (I don’t see Colin Delaney) and
The Big Red Machine Kane, weighing 320 lbs.
The WWE ECW Champion
Mr. Kennedy from Green Bay, WI, weighing 243 lbs. &
The Game Triple H from Greenwich, CT, weighing 255 lbs., WWE Champion

I’d say HHH should have brought along his sledgehammer as an equalizer. HHH did get the loudest pop from the live audience. Elijah Burke is in the ring to begin the match. HHH steps out and lets Mr. Kennedy face Burke. Burke begins with a side headlock, off the ropes to take down Kennedy with a shoulder block, off the ropes again and Kennedy drops Burke with a clothesline. Kennedy goes for a tag but can’t get the three count. Kennedy tags in HHH. Burke takes in Striker who comes out with a fist but gets taken out with a high knee. HHH slams Striker head first into the top turnbuckle and then tags in Kennedy. The ref has to back Kennedy out of the corner as he stomps on Striker. Striker tags in Mike Knox. Striker nails Kennedy in the back, Knox tags in Guerrero. Guerrero goes for the tag but Kennedy kicks out. Guerrero tags in Kofi Kingston as Kennedy tries to get to the corner for a tag. Kingston tags in Tommy Dreamer who goes for a cover and gets a two count before Kennedy kicks out. Dreamer tags in Kingston, Kingston takes out Benjamin by accident. Benjamin tagged himself in and takes revenge by send Kingston out to the floor. Benjamin tags in Nunzio who gets dropped to the mat. Nunzio tags in Guerrero and Guerrero goes after HHH on the ring apron, HHH enters the ring and starts taking everyone out. Kane has Kennedy in a choke slam but then Kane goes after Guerrero and Neely gets involved. Guerrero delivers a frog splash and gets the three count.

Winners: The ECW Roster

I don’t know who is fighting, but I think the ECW roster is fighting amongst themselves. Knox goes out after a chair, but HHH uses the chair on Knox and then takes out most of the ECW roster with the chair as the lights go out and the audience gets mad. As the lights come back on, Orton is in the ring to deliver an RKO to HHH.

I hope that was the end because I turned off my television.

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