WWF Monday Night RAW - December 27, 1993
by Samoa Rowe
-With this recap, I finally rid myself of the monkey on my back that has been the 1993 Raws. I started recapping them all the way back in 2008, determined to get through the whole year as quickly as possible. There ended up being long gaps in between reviews, as I lost access to the shows, and then lost interest. Had I known back in 2008 that it wouldn't be until New Year's Eve in 2014 that I'd finally finish off the year, I probably would not have even started it. But now, at long last, I can rest easy at night.
-Presumably from Poughkeepsie, NY. Our hosts are Vince McMahon and the Quebecers.
Lex Luger vs. Barry Horowitz
Barry uses the ropes to break a wristlock, giving Lex to show off his prowess at following the rules. Lex soaks up the fans’ admiration and goes after the arm again. Lex reverses a whip for a near fall, but Horowitz gains some traction with some uppercuts. Lex takes some basic punishment before popping back with a clothesline. Power slam by Luger and a superplex! Lex gains the pinfall at 4:25. The fans loved this, I might have as well if I was 10.Winner: Lex Luger
-Johnny Polo vows to beat Marty Jannetty in a grudge match. Pretty generic stuff on display here.
Johnny Polo vs. Marty Jannetty
Polo immediately hides in the corner, but manages to reverse a wristlock with a hip toss. Jannetty trusts Polo into the turnbuckles and takes builds momentum with an atomic drop. Back suplex by Jannetty gets a 2 count. Polo ducks to send Jannetty crashing to ringside on a cross body attempt. Polo scores a running dive, but Jannetty surprises with a slingshot cross body for a near fall. Polo applies a chinlock, but Jannetty escapes for a comeback. Jannetty blocks a superplex and nails a flying cross body for only 2. Polo gets dumped to ringside, and Quebecer Pierre helps him up, but they both suffer a baseball slide from Jannetty. Pierre trips Jannetty, but he manages to catch Polo in the midst of a sneak attack. Jannetty dives off the top onto Pierre and goes for a Sunset Flip on Polo. Pierre grabs Polo’s hands to hold him in a pinning position for the win at 8:21. Nice way to make Jannetty look like an idiot in an average match.Winner: Johnny Polo
-Jannetty is sore over the loss and threatens to attack the Quebecers with a steel chair. An official stops Jannetty, but also wants Pierre thrown out.
-The hilarious Santa Yokozuna vignette plays again. Yokozuna wakes up in a cold sweat, terrified over the notion that children would love him.
Doink the Clown (with Dink) vs. Spike Gray
Dink hands Doink some gum, and offers a gimmicked piece to Gray as well. It hurt Gray’s hand, and Dink kicks the shin for good measure. I hate this so much. Dink’s distractions lead to Doink winning with a single German suplex at 1:02. All around terrible, but at least it was short.Winner: Doink
-Todd Pettengill hosts the Royal Rumble report. Not much to say here, Todd runs down the official entrants. There’s still uncertainty about whether or not Lex Luger will be allowed to compete, but again, pay 99 cents and call the opinion poll hotline to voice your opinion. I think I’d rather spend that dollar on a McDouble. Also, the Quebecers will defend the tag titles against the apparently reunited Bret and Owen Hart.
Crush (with Mr. Fuji) vs. Mike Moraldo
Crush effortlessly stops Moraldo dead in his tracks with a series of strikes. Delayed press slam by Crush, followed by leisurely strikes. Crush administers a head vice for the submission at 2:13. Not good by any stretch of the imagination.Winner: Crush
-Back at Undertaker’s casket work shop, Paul Bearer awesomely warns Yokozuna about the plus-size casket coming his way. Undertaker gets into the holiday spirit and promises to gift wrap Yokozuna. These vignettes are so awesome I can’t stand it.
-Alundra Blayze introduces highlights of her match with Heidi Lee Morgan. They met in the finals of a tournament to crown a new Women’s Champion. It was apparently filmed at this set of tapings but wasn’t deemed worth for a full broadcast.
-Kwang shows off his martial arts stances in an intentionally hilarious vignette.
Razor Ramon vs. Derek Domino
Domino goes right after the arm, but Razor reverses for a takedown. Domino fires some chops, but Razor aggressively returns the favor. Razor places Domino on the turnbuckles for a big time fall away slam. Ramon pretzels the legs for a chinlock and transitions to an abdominal stretch. Razor nails a back superplex and finishes with the Razor’s Edge at 3:51. Great squash here, Razor looked unstoppable.Winner: Razor Ramon
-Next week, the Smoking Gunns face Bam Bam Bigelow and Bastion Booger. I can assure you, I will NOT be recapping that.
Final Thoughts: Goodbye, 1993. You were a mixed bag, but more often than not very entertaining. Thumbs up for being so amusing.
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