Prime Time Wrestling - October 30, 1989
by Scrooge McSuck
- It's time for another Halloween Edition of Prime Time Wrestling, with Gorilla Monsoon and the host of Prime Time, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. To show everyone is in the Holiday spirit, Gorilla Monsoon is dressed up as "Brother Hate" and Bobby Heenan as "The Genius." Roddy Piper is still hosting in Studio B, but is absent at the moment, getting properly dressed. Bobby Heenan isn't too thrilled with Gorilla Monsoon's choice of costume. "Do I look stupid? I'm supposed to look stupid because I'm representing a very stupid person."
The Red Rooster vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine:
Tony Schiavone and Lord Alfred Hayes on commentary. Rooster is on-par with Koko B. Ware in the JTTS department, and Valentine is STILL in a program with Ronnie Garvin, originating on episodes of Superstars back in April where Valentine "retired" Garvin. Lockup into the corner, Rooster avoids an elbow, and takes Valentine over with a pair of hip throws. Valentine with a side headlock and elbow across the back of the head. Valentine with a few more elbows to scramble Rooster's brains, followed by a back breaker for a two count. They trade blows in the corner, with Rooster pecking and clawing his way into regaining the momentum. Valentine goes questionably low to slow his momentum and dumps him to the floor. Rooster with a shoulder to the midsection and sunset flip for two. He rallies again, mounting the Hammer in the corner for a series of rights and a double thrust to the throat for a two count. Valentine meets post on a charge and Rooster goes to work on the arm. Is he setting up for the Five-Arm? Valentine goes to the leg again (the bandaged knee), spins the Hart Breaker around... and here's Ron Garvin to make the save and trigger the Disqualification at 6:01. He rips off Valentine's Hart Breaker and tries to bonk him with it. Watchable match, but a DQ finish to protect the Red Rooster?!
- Back in the Studio, Heenan keeps reciting poems to get over his costume. The Brother Love Show music plays to continue to cheese the Brain off. We return from commercial with Heenan calling Halloween a chance for kids to beg for free food.
- From the pages of WWF Magazine, here's Update: Just a short time ago, Hulk Hogan successfully defended his Title against the Million Dollar Man, Ted Dibiase, on Saturday Night's Main Event. What happened after the match? Hogan and Zeus are about to go at it one-on-one, but Dibiase's attack from behind opened the door for Zeus to easily give him the neck twist of doom. Dibiase puts him in the Million Dollar Dream, and here comes Jake Roberts to make the save.
- Sunday Night, November 12th, the WWF will have a special program called "The Survivor Series Showdown", with 5 big matches scheduled: The Macho King vs. The Mighty Hercules, Bushwhacker Butch vs. Mr. Perfect, Smash of Demolition vs. Ted Dibiase, Tito Santana vs. the Big Boss Man, and the Ultimate Warrior vs. Tully Blanchard. What an odd assortment of matches.
- Roddy Piper joins us in Studio B in full Halloween costume... and he's dressed as Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, complete with stuffing in the belly and pants. Apparently he's borrowed Heenan's jacket from the wardrobe department. His impression of Heenan seems to be a bit effeminate and calling him a cheap skate.
Tito Santana vs. Bob Emery:
Squash Match. Tito Santana is going to be part of the Dream Team with Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, and the Red Rooster. Santana starts with an arm drag and arm-bar. He cranks on a wrist-lock, but his opponent makes it to the ropes. I guess Santana vs. Martel is still a thing (and would continue to be on-and-off for another 8 years). Santana with another takedown and back to the arm-bar. Is Santana pacing himself out for a twenty minute draw or something? He picks the leg and goes back to the arm. Whip to the ropes, Santana ducks under a clothesline, and knocks Emery down with a pair of rights. Whip to the ropes, Santana with a back drop, and the Flying Forearm (called the Mexican Hammer by Schiavone) finishes at 3:34.
- Roddy Piper, as Heenan, continues ranting about his Family. "I have Andre, but I can't afford to feed him because I'm cheap." Heenan says Piper looks like a tough Phyllis Diller. Piper's response? "Ham and Egger! Ham and Egger!"
The Colossal Connection (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Mike Williams & Chuck Casey:
Pulled from Superstars of Wrestling. The team of Andre and Haku was thrown together and quickly featured in a number of squash matches, leading into their program with Demolition. The Brain Busters, still the reigning Tag Team Champions (for about a week) come to ringside and cheer their fellow Family members on. Haku works over Casey and connects with a trio of back breakers. Williams has to tag in and throws some pathetic rights at Haku. Haku shrugs them off and nails him in the face with a drop-kick. Haku with an inverted atomic drop, and now it's Andre's turn to have some fun. There must be some heel fans, because there's a group of guys in the front row chanting and cheering for Andre. He unloads with headbutts, Haku with the Thrust Kick, and Andre drops the elbow (thankfully not landing his entire body on Williams) for three at 2:53.
- Promo from the Hulkamaniacs hyping the Survivor Series. Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts, and Demolition is still probably my favorite foursome in Survivor Series History.
- Gorilla Monsoon with more taunting of Heenan about Brother Love being a crook. Heenan threatens to call him ("Collect?" "No, I'll pay for the call) and has trouble unhooking the microphone from his robe. Monsoon: The two of you together would have a hard time getting locked up together.
Dusty Rhodes vs. Joe Cruz:
Dusty's theme music is so cheesy, but really makes you want to get funky, doesn't it? Cruz attacks from behind, but Dusty shrugs it off and wiggles around. I guess it feels natural for Schiavone to be calling the action of a Dusty Rhodes match. Big Boss Man with an inset promo while Rhodes continues to pound away in the corner. Whip to the ropes, Dusty with a back elbow, followed by the jumping elbow drop for the three count at 1:28.
- Roddy Piper breaks character knowing they've ran Heenan off. Last week on Prime Time, Freddie Blassie said something about having the key to the dressing room, so that gave Piper an idea. Apparently Heenan's outfit isn't even complete. He took everything, minus the bra, and reveals his shirt is just enough to fit around the neck and show in front of the chest. His jacket isn't from Beverly Hills, but it does have ring-around-the-collar. We then throw it to Sean Mooney (Piper: Who?) to hype the Survivor Series.
Mark Young vs. "The Model" Rick Martel (w/ Slick):
Young is the son of Chief Jay Strongbow, doing a break-dancin' fool character. I don't think he ever received a push, and spent a year or so as a syndication scrub before quietly leaving. Martel has recently introduced his "Model" character, after spending most of the summer as just another heel. I still find it odd to see him managed by Slick. He'll be part of the Enforcers at Survivor Series, captained by the Boss Man and joined by teammates Akeem (subject to change) and the Honkytonk Man. Whip to the ropes and Martel with a cart-wheel to get out of the way. Martel works on an arm-bar. Whip to the ropes and Young misses a dropkick. "What a first class fool! Get up, you big dummy!" I guess that's Slick doing his best Fred Sanford impression... would ANYONE under the age of 70 get that reference in 2015? Whip to the corner and Young with an arm drag, followed by a drop-kick. He celebrates with a Spinarooni as we take a mid-match break. Back to the match, Young takes him over with an arm drag and hooks an arm-bar. Martel counters a hip toss with a take-down and chokes away. Martel with a slam, snap-mare, and elbow across the chest. Martel continues to dominate as we've jumped the shark on when this one should've ended. Young teases a comeback, but misses a dive to the corner. Martel with a back breaker, and the Boston Crab finally finishes things at 8:09. This was alright, but a bit long considering it was an extended squash.
- Brother Love Show from the previous episode of Superstars, with special guests Roddy Piper and his Survivor Series team of Jimmy Snuka and the Bushwhackers. Piper having to keep his teammates under control is pretty funny stuff. They randomly rip off his shirt and lick him. "Are they tasting you?" "No, they're basting me!"
- Brother Love, the REAL Brother Love, shows up in Studio B to give Monsoon a piece of his mind. He doesn't seem to notice that the man in the chair isn't actually Bobby Heenan, just Piper back in full costume. Love makes the unfortunate mistake of calling him Sister Hot-Rod and screaming about how he wears a skirt, so Piper finally reveals himself and accidentally on purpose KO's Brother Love with a Pumpkin.
The Bolsheviks vs. Trent Knight & Reno Riggins:
Nikolai Volkoff is finally back in action, having been MIA since before WrestleMania V. Zhukov spent most of that time as a singles scrub, even further down the depth chart than a Koko B. Ware. Volkoff with his signature spinning kick and nothing much else. Zhukov tags in to pound away and can't even work over Knight without getting his butt kicked. Zhukov with the headbutt, and with his cranium, that is a deadly attack. Volkoff with a Butterfly Suplex. Zhukov with a snap-mare and chin-lock. Riggins tags in and hits a back elbow and dropkick for a one count. Zhukov knees him to the midsection and lays him out with a head-butt. Double axehandle smash and double clothesline from the Bolsheviks. Volkoff with the press slam into a sloppy back breaker for three at 4:19. They still stink.
- Bobby Heenan is back, declaring trouble for Monsoon and that Brother Love is going to give him a piece of his mind. They reveal to Heenan that Brother Love is unconscious in Studio B while Piper goofs around and puts a skull mask over his face... then he gives Brother Love a belly raspberry.
- Mr. Perfect vignette, perfectly playing a game of Ping-Pong. And this was supposed to light the house show business on fire against WWF Champion Hulk Hogan?
- Back in Studio B, Piper is stuffing decorations in Brother Love's jacket and rolls a Pumpkin down his stomach. Piper does a bad impression of Elmer Fudd after Monsoon convinces him enough is enough. Heenan continues to pitch a fit over what happened to Brother Love, but Gorilla continues to claim ignorance to what happened to him.
Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Tony Burton:
Burton goes to work on the arm, but Roberts shrugs it off and comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Roberts with a running knee lift, followed by a wrist-lock. Burton fights free, knocking Roberts to the floor. Roberts pops back up and pounds away with rights. Roberts connects with a stomach buster as he cuts an inset promo on his own match. He takes Burton over with a snapmare and taunts him with the "ominous green bag." Short-arm clothesline and DDT finishes at 3:45.
- Bobby Heenan: This is the worst Halloween I've ever had. Monsoon: Best one I've ever had.
Hercules vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart):
We're digging deep for this week's feature, from the APRIL 24th show held at Madison Square Garden. Bravo stalls, playing to the crowd. Lockup and neither man gets the upper-hand. Hopefully this will be short... (checks spoilers)... son of a bitch. Hercules with a side headlock, but a shoulder tackle doesn't budge either man. They criss-cross until Bravo chickens out and takes a breather. They do a test-of-strength that involves both men cheating. Hercules goes for the Full Nelson, but Bravo makes it to the ropes. Hercules escapes a headlock and lays Bravo out with a clothesline. He goes for the Full Nelson a second time, again unsuccessfully. We take a studio break and return with Bravo in control with a seated chinlock. Bravo with a slam and jumping elbow drop for two. Hercules fights out of a chin-lock, but Bravo regains control and applies a Boston Crab. They trade blows in the corner, with Hercules getting the best of the exchange. Whip to the corner is reversed and Bravo grabs a bear-hug. Hercules pounds his way free but runs into a Power-Slam. Bravo misses an elbow drop, then a charge to the corner. Hercules with a fist to the midsection and running knee lift. He connects with a pair of clotheslines and lifts Bravo into the "back breaker" (Torture Rack), but lets him go and covers for a long two count. Hercules with a snap-mare and pair of elbows for two. Bravo uses the tights to throw Herc' to the floor. Sunset flip back in, Bravo sits down on the chest and uses the ropes for the three count at 15:36. That was pretty bad looking, since the referee was right there. It also looked like he was practicing his Cleveland Steamer skills. Post-match, Hercules grabs a Full Nelson while Bravo makes goofy faces. Surprisingly not the worst match I've ever seen... just a bit boring.
- We head back to the Studio one last time. Bobby Heenan is completely uninterested in the show at this point after seeing what happened to his good friend Brother Love. They run down the Survivor Series Showdown card once again. Heenan says it's next Sunday, but Monsoon is more than happy to point out the 12th of November is not next week. "I don't know what day it is any more" "and that's why you're not the host of Prime Time Wrestling." Heenan continues to insist that a brick was used on Brother Love. Then out of nowhere, comes Roddy Piper dressed as a Weasel, humming Striptease music. He goes into a serious rant about Halloween Safety. Well, that came out of nowhere.
Final Thoughts: Does anyone care about the matches? This might be one of the most hilarious episodes of Prime Time Wrestling. Everyone in costume looked to be having fun with their lines, and then the non-stop trolling of Bobby Heenan, mostly by Piper but instigated relentlessly by Monsoon, is the icing on the cake. It's episodes like this that people need to see to understand why Prime Time Wrestling, at least for most of the late 80's, is considered one of the most entertaining programs in WWE History.
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