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WWF Prime Time Wrestling - Oct 29, 1987
by Scrooge McSuck
- Welcome to another SPOOKY Edition of WWF Prime Time Wrestling, broadcasted just two days before Halloween... and other than arguing over who stole the Pumpkin, absolutely nothing ties into the Halloween theme, like in later years when Gorilla and Heenan would dress up, notably one year when Gorilla dressed as Brother Love and Heenan made himself out as the Genius. I would like to point out the obvious whoring of Piledriver: The Wrestling Album II, with not only a poster on front of their desk, but the cassette tape and the VHS released from Coliseum Video also being presented in obvious "buy me" fashion. Monsoon informs us he's pulled King Kong Bundy from the show, in order to show us a match featuring newcomer, the Beast from the East, Bam Bam Bigelow.
Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Oliver Humperdink) vs. Sika:
Pulled from the October 3rd, 1987 card held at the Boston Garden. Gorilla Monsoon and Pete Doherty calling it. Ugh. Where's Lord Alfred when you need him? Might as well call Sika "Iron Mike Sharpe" or "Steve Lombardi" here. I think he might've won one singles match in 1987-88, and that was against the ever-popular Special Delivery Jones. Speaking of S.D. Jones, isn't it weird thinking about having a squash match at a WrestleMania? It's not like, say, Tito Santana/The Mountie having to go home incredibly early. Bundy was a new monster heel, Jones was a Jobber. Squash-City. Sorry, don't know why I'm on WrestleMania, but I'm through, so lets go to the match. Lockup goes nowhere. I half expected Sika to start going "OOH!" so the crowd responds "So!", but he's not that annoying. He just sucks. Sika grabs a headlock, but a shoulder tackle goes in Bam Bam's favor. Bigelow works the leg, and I don't know if the Boston crowd knows wether or not to cheer for Bam Bam, yet. Sika thumbs the eyes to escape, and it's clubberin' time. Whip to the ropes, Bam Bam lays him out with a clothesline. Nice leap frog, too. Sika takes a hike, so Bam Bam does a carthweel for the heck of it. Bigelow sends Sika into the corner with a dropkick, but misses a charge. Sika with a clothesline, followed by a headbutt. Whip to the corner, Bigelow flips to the apron, and comes back in with a slingshot splash for the three count at 6:51. That finish came out of nowhere, and it couldn't have come any sooner. Most of this was Sika stalling and Bigelow showing off his athletic abilities. I guess it does the job, for an opening match. Showcase newcomer, feed him some worthless garbage.
Ivan Putski vs. Iron Mike Sharpe:
Pulled from the October 16th, 1987 card held at Madison Square Garden. Gorilla and Nick Bockwinkel are calling the action. I forgot, Putski made a very brief comeback around this time. By the end of 1987, he would be gone for good. Honestly, who thought him coming back was a good idea? The guy screamed 1970's more than George Steele. He also appears to be wearing Jimmy Snuka's trunks or Steve Allen's wifes underwear. Hey, he said it at WrestleMania VI, so I'm not being tasteless. Sharpe stalls and Putski shows off his muscles. Basically, the only thing either man was any good at. Sharpe with an overhead wristlock, but HE'S TOO STRONG. Full nelson attempt, and the same conclussion. Can we have another Sika match, instead? I forgot, Sharpe is also good at being very loud. Too bad he was never repackaged to team with the One Man Gang... imagine how annoying that would be to listen to? Sharpe with a cheap shot to the throat, followed by some choking. Sharpe rams himself into the ring post, allowing Putski to unload with a flurry of rights and lefts. Whip to the ropes, and the Polish Hammer finishes for the three count at 5:30. Crowd gives a minor pop, and hey look, it's Vladimir mugging for the camera. Could've been worse.
- Craig DeGeorge with a special interview with newcomer, the Million Dollar Man, Ted Dibiase, and his Bodyguard, Virgil. It's the infamous offer for a child to bounce a basketball 15 times in a row. For those who don't recall, Dibiase boots the ball away from the kid after bounce #14, making him the biggest dickhead in the world. Easily the best of the "humiliating a crowd member" bits. Don't worry, the kid was a plant.
- We hype the big Main Event for the Survivor Series (Graham is still announced as a member of Hogan's team), then revisist Bobby Heenan showing Monsoon around to Andre's "training" for WrestleMania III, only to get lost in the woods. Monsoon leaving a trail of banana peels is high-larious.
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Johnny K-9:
Pulled from the October 11th, 1987 card held at Toronto's Maple Leaf Gardens. Got to give a man credit for naming himself after a dog. I don't remember what Duggan had going for himself round this time, until a quick check at the Survivor Series lineup pairs him up with King Harley Race. Lockup around the ring, and Duggan gives a cheap shot in the corner. You know, because he's the babyface. K-9 returns the favor, then slips on his ass. I didn't know it was possible to blow a punch, but there you go. Whip to the ropes, Duggan with a hip toss and knee drop, but he settles into a chinlock rather than go for the cover. Whip to the ropes, and K-9 lays him out with a knee lift. Duggan no-sells an elbow to the face, and unloads with rights. Mounted punches in the corner, followed by a hip toss. Whip to the ropes, Duggan catches K-9 with a slam, then comes charging out of the corner with the clothesline for the three count at 2:42. Just a squash, but I hate Jim Duggan, so this was painful, regardless.
- Mean Gene Okerlund is standing by with words from the Barber of the WWF, Brutus Beefcake. Next...
The Bolsheviks (w/ Slick) vs. Lance Allen & Sonny Rogers:
Pulled from Superstars of Wrestling, and this is definitely one of, if not the, first matches with Boris Zhukov teaming with Nikolai Volkoff. He's not even wearing matching jackets and hats, so it must be his debut. I don't know how it makes sense to have a Pimp managing the Russians... maybe being a pimp is like a communist? Volkoff lays into Rogers with a lot of kicking, then takes him over with a double underhook suplex. Zhukov tags in, and continues with more of the same. One match in, and we're talking about Zhikov's huge head. Volkoff with a gutwrench suplex. Allen tags in after letting Rogers take a beating for a while. This just drags on for a while, with Allen taking a beating, too. Volkoff with the second best cartwheel of the broadcast. Way to rip off Bam Bam's stuff, moron. Zhukov with a back suplex, and he pulls him up again. Zhukov finally finishes him off with a weird body press at 4:52. Who gave a SQUASH MATCH this long?! It wasn't a Prime Time exclusive, this was on the syndicated show. Thank goodness that's over. Nothing could possibly be any more boring than this.
Superstar Billy Graham vs. "The Natural" Butch Reed (w/ Slick):
Another match pulled from the October 11th Toronto card. What is this, Rehash the 70's Night? First Ivan Putski, now Billy Graham. Introductions are clipped, with Graham pounding away on Reed and Slick. What a jerk. Whip to the ropes, and Graham slaps on a sleeper. Where's the commentary? Reed goes to the eyes, and nails Graham in the throat with a foreign object. The PBP comes back, finally, and it's Monsoon and Humperdink. Probably a 24/7 edit because of Graham's music. Remember when commentary was erased along with dubbed over music? That sucked. Anyway, back to the match. Reed continues putting the boots to Graham. I'm sure Vince McMahon wanted to do that roughly 5-years later. Reed uses the ring-bell hammer on Graham while Slick distracts the referee. Graham starts making the comeback, but Reed with a knee to the midsection. Reed works the hip some more, then unwisely goes for a test-of-strength. What a car-wreck this match is. Slick gets involved again, but Graham takes the hat and does his best Hulk Hogan impression. Reed attacks from behind and chokes him with a chair... without a DQ. What a stupid referee. Reed with a slow climb to the top, but Graham meets him with a fist to the midsection. Graham with a bearhug, but Slick nails him with the cane. It's no-sold. Reed rolls Graham up, and uses the ropes for leverage to get the three count at 6:10. This was as craptacular as you would imagine. Thankfully, Graham's in-ring career came to an end a few weeks later.
- Craig DeGeorge is standing by with the five managers of the super-sized 10 Tag Team Elimination Match: Bobby Heenan (Islanders), Mr. Fuji (Demolition), Jimmy Hart (The Hart Foundation), Slick (The Bolsheviks), and Johnny Valiant (Valentine & Bravo). Even the best manager of the world couldn't guide the Marlins to a good season, these days. That's funny, because Craig DeGeorge works for the FS Florida broadcasts of the Marlins, and they suck. I'm like the pointing out the obvious guy in Family Guy.
Billy Jack Haynes, Ken Patera, Don Muraco vs. The Islanders & Bob Orton Jr.:
Feature match of the week, and what a collection of midcarders who used to mean something: Bob Orton, former tag-along headliner with Roddy Piper, doing a JTTS role before leaving the company, Ken Patera, former IC Champion and tag-along headliner of the Heenan Family, working as a JTTS babyface after a failed comeback for a hot feud with Heenan, and Don Muraco, former IC Champion and one of the coolest heels of the 80's, acting as a goofy babyface. Haynes and Haku start. Haku with a headlock, followed by shoulder tackles. Criss-cross ends with Haynes taking him over with a hip toss. They both miss elbow drops, and it's back to a neutral position. Tama tags in, offering a handshake, but Haynes tells him where to stick it. Muraco pounds away, and plants Tama with a slam. Patera and his Huge Ass Brace come in, and uses the brace with a clothesline. Haynes with a snapmare, and slaps on a front facelock. Tama counters with an inverted atomic drop, and we get the big showdown between Muraco and Orton. The Magnificent Aces Collide... or not. Haku tags in, breaking protocal that contact must be made. Muraco fights his way out of the heel corner, and finally gets his hands on Orton, briefly.
We return from commercial, with Haynes working a chinlock on Haku. Patera with a snapmare, and another chinlock. Haku fights free, and now its time for Patera to take a beating. Orton comes in, driving a knee into the back, and works on the previously injured arm. Tama works the arm, Haku works the arm. I don't want to be so bold, but I have a bad idea this is going to be a lot of arm working. Orton with a shoulder breaker, followed by a knee drop. He misses a charge, and in comes The Rock (Don Muraco). They slug it out until Muraco connects with a dropkick. Orton ends up taking Muraco down, then heads to the top, coming down with a fist across the throat. Muraco takes a beating, spanning another commercial break. Mostly resting with chinlocks. Patera gets the tag, but the referee doesn't see it. Orton sets up for the super-plex, but Patera whacks him with the arm brace of doom, and Muraco covers for the three count at 15:22. Well, that finish came out of nowhere, and considering we didn't get a real hot tag, that's saying something. Still, a 6-Man tag is almost always like Pizza, even when it's bad, it's still kind of good, and usually offers some interesting combinations. Really, Islanders and Bob Orton on a team? I'm there any day of the week.
Final Thoughts: Decent little show here, if not great in wrestling quality. There were minimal squashes, and at least the undercard portions of the show were mostly filled with name JTTS', like Sika and Mike Sharpe. The segment featuring Ted Dibiase kicking the basketball away is still a classic moment, and there was plenty of hyping for the Survivor Series, coming to PPV audiences live in three weeks. Fun waste of time, and as usual, it's almost all entirely because of the banter between Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon.
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