WWE Tables Ladders and Chairs
by Samoa Rowe
December 19, 2010
-From Houston, TX. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker. Cole is clutching his recently won Slammy awards.
Intercontinental Championship (Ladder match):
After a typical triple threat beginning, Ziggler is the first to attempt a climb. Kingston and Swagger have a brief exchange with the ladder before Dolph returns with a smaller ladder. Swagger seems to have injured his hand as Kofi takes a bad spill onto a ladder in the turnbuckles. Swagger returns to slingshot Ziggler into the bridged ladder. Kingston springboards through a ladder for a drop-kick. Ziggler sneaks in to deliver the fame-asser onto the ladder! With everyone down, Vickie climbs the ladder and Kofi tips it back. Ziggler pleads for mercy, but it’s Swagger that actually saves Vickie from taking a sick bump. Kofi manages to climb despite being stuck in Swagger’s ankle lock, and Ziggler climbs over all of them to almost get the belt. Kingston fights off a sleeper at the top and knocks Dolph down. Swagger prevents a Kofi victory and they trade shots and the Intercontinental title falls to the mat. Ziggler pounces on the belt and is declared victorious at 8:53. I’m going out on a limb to assume that was not the planned finish. This was quite an entertaining spot-fest until the abrupt finish, **¾.
Dolph Ziggler © (with Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger
Winner and still Intercontinental Champion: Dolph Ziggler
-Wade Barrett rallies the Nexus troops backstage. They plan on winning back the tag titles and taking out John Cena once and for all.
There is a table at ringside with painted caricatures of both members of LayCool that looks just awful. A replay reveals that Phoenix and Natalya presented LayCool with the table on Smackdown. Hilarious. The match seems to be tornado rules as Natalya and Phoenix slam LayCool on one another. They set up the painted table against the turnbuckles and Phoenix attempts to slam both Layla and Michelle at once. LayCool take control of the match. Beth takes a nasty spill to the floor, landing on her head. LayCool set up a second table and Michelle attempts a top rope Styles Clash, but Phoenix makes the save. Michelle and Layla retake control but Natalya applies a double sharpshooter! Beth repositions the painted table but gets dumped to the floor again. LayCool set up a double superplex but Phoenix makes the save. Layla drives Beth into the ring post and LayCool attempt the superplex again. Natalya shoves LayCool onto the table, but it doesn’t break! Natalya finishes it with a splash through the table at 9:20. This was rough around the edges, but the match was a fun rollercoaster to watch, **½.
Michelle McCool and Layla vs. Divas Champion Natalya and Beth Phoenix
Winners: Natalya and Beth Phoenix
-Kane is getting ready to open a Christmas present but gets distracted reminiscing over his terrible childhood. He destroys some Christmas decorations in a rage.
WWE Tag Team Championship:
Santino cuts a short promo, rebranding TLC as “Totally Lethal Cobra.” Gabriel starts against Santino and gets a wrist takedown. Santino busts out some technical wrestling. Marella gets the best of the exchange and Slater gets a tag. Slater gets some shots in but Santino scares him with a Cobra threat. Kozlov tags and bats Slater around. A sneak attack by Harris gives Nexus the opening to isolate Kozlov. A vicious Kozlov head butt allows a hot tag to Marella. Santino signals the Cobra and McGillicutty ambushes him, drawing a DQ at 6:25. Cue the Nexus beat down. The match was completely by the numbers, the real point was the post-match attack, *½.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov © vs. Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel (with Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty)
Winners via DQ: Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov
-Wade Barrett storms the ring with a chair and dishes out some punishment on the vulnerable Marella and Kozlov. Barrett is ready for his chairs match against John Cena later tonight.
#1 Contenders Ladder match:
Having recently on the King of the Ring tournament, Sheamus is dressed in a hilarious Irish King get-up. They lock up and quickly tumble to ringside. Sheamus bridges a ladder between the apron and announce table, but they brawl away from it. Back to the ring, they fight through a standing ladder. Morrison delivers a corkscrew plancha over the top of the ladder! Morrison climbs, but Sheamus pulls him into a tree of woe position and tips the ladder over. Sheamus smells blood and continues targeting Morrison’s injured knee with a series of ladder assisted attacks. Sheamus finally climbs and Morrison throws a second ladder at him. Sheamus drops Morrison on his knee, but Morrison comes back with a drop toe hold to send Sheamus taking a face plant onto a ladder. Morrison is desperate and selling the knee injury like death. They both fetch ladders and Morrison wins a duel. Morrison forges a comeback, brutalizing Sheamus with multiple ladders. Morrison climbs but gets Brogue Kicked off. The contract is swinging too much for either man to win and Morrison sends Sheamus to the floor with a head scissors. Sheamus returns to push Morrison off the top of the ladder. Morrison narrowly avoids the bridged ladder in a backdrop over the ropes. Morrison tosses Sheamus (and himself) off a standing ladder and Sheamus crashes through the bridged ladder at ringside! That was brutal! Sheamus desperately tries to stop Morrison but a sick head kick puts him down. Morrison grabs the contract at 19:04. This was a hell of a fight, complete with strong story-telling and dramatic high spots, ****.
King Sheamus vs. “Mr. Hardcore” John Morrison
Winner: John Morrison
-WWE Champion The Miz is interviewed backstage. Alex Riley opens a briefcase and hands the gold to Miz, who puts himself over as the new face of the WWE. Cue the catchphrase. I like this Miz so much more than the pandering loser baby face he’d play later.
-Wade Barrett and Husky Harris discover that someone has beaten up the rest of Nexus.
WWE Championship (Tables match):
Orton is aggressive in the early going and ruthlessly bats Miz around the ring. Miz side steps a rampaging Orton and finds an opening. Orton explodes with a clothesline and throws Miz through the ropes. Orton goes for a table, but Riley distracts. Orton delivers a suplex on the floor. Orton goes for the table again, but Miz drop-kicks it into him. Miz counters again, dropping Orton head-first on the ring steps. Miz works on softening Orton up so he’ll stay on a table. Orton counters with a back drop variation and drops a table onto Miz. Orton delivers a superplex, but Riley moved the table out of the way. Orton plows through Miz, complete with the spike DDT. Orton thwarts Riley’s interference and brings a table to the ring. The referee takes a bump and Orton plants Riley with the RKO, while Miz slips to the floor. Orton puts Riley through the table, but Miz sneaks in and delivers the Skull Crushing Finale. Miz places Orton in the table wreckage and revives the referee. The ref falls for it and declares Miz the winner at 12:57. That would have been the most hilariously shitty finish to any match ever, but the referee saw the replay on the Titantron and restarted the match. It doesn’t take long for Riley to knock Orton off the apron through a table, and Miz retains anyway. I preferred the original bad finish, just for the sheer audacity of it. The match was just okay, **.
The Miz © (with Alex Riley) vs. Randy Orton
Winner and still WWE Champion: The Miz
-Edge is having fun in Alberto Del Rio’s expensive car. This leads to a confrontation where Edge holds his accomplishments over Del Rio’s head, and Del Rio brags about putting Christian on the injured list. Edge vows to leave Houston as a ten-time World champion.
World Heavyweight Championship (TLC match):
Rey comes to the ring in a KISS mask, just thought you’d like to know that. Edge and Kane rekindle their rivalry while Del Rio and Mysterio resume theirs. Rey is first to climb a ladder but Del Rio tips it to send Mysterio for a rough landing on top of Kane. Mysterio brings in a second ladder and drop toe holds Alberto into it. Ladder assisted seated senton by Rey! Kane plants Rey on the ladder but gets ambushed by Edge. Kane drops Edge and throws a ladder at Del Rio and Mysterio. Even flow DDT by Edge, who then rams a ladder into Kane’s head. Edge sets up a taller ladder and baseball slides another into Kane. All four men brawl and set tables up around the ring. Rey holds Kane on a table for Edge to dive off the ladder! Rey attempts a climb but Del Rio delivers an enziguri. Rey misses 619 and Edge returns to dish out spears. Kane tips the ladder over to crotch Edge on the ropes. The fight heads to the stage, where Edge nails another spear on Kane. Rey climbs a hanging table prop and nails a seated senton on Kane. Back to the ring, Rey hits 619 on Del Rio, but Edge counters with a chair. Edge and Del Rio climb the tall ladder while Mysterio sneaks up a smaller one. Rey replaces Del Rio at the top and trades shots with Edge until they both go flying off to the mat. Ricardo Rodriguez pulls a Vickie and climbs the ladder, only to get choke slammed off by Kane. Choke slam for Del Rio and a choke slam through a table for Edge. 619 into a chair on Kane. Del Rio prevents a Mysterio win and applies the cross arm breaker. Alberto touches the title but gets pushed off by Rey to go crashing through two tables at ringside! Kane counters Rey’s springboard with a tombstone piledriver. Edge comes back to spear Kane off the apron and through a table. Edge climbs the ladder and retrieves the title to win at 22:37. This didn’t reinvent the wheel or anything, but still provided plenty of excitement, ***¾.
Kane © vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge
Winner and new World Heavyweight Champion: Edge
-Dashing Cody Rhodes comes out to talk. He bad-mouths the city of Houston, pointing out how ugly and fat everyone is. Cody is interrupted by Santa Claus (Big Show), accompanied by WWE mascots the Bella Twins. Cody makes fun of Big Show for appearing in his underwear on the cover of Knucklehead. Show claims Rhodes is too uptight and that it’s liberating to hang out in your underwear. Cody things he looks more like a movie star than “Vanilla Shrek” Big Show. Cody gets nasty in his insults and eats a Christmas spinebuster. Show strips Cody down to his underwear, which makes Big Show jolly.
-Wade Barrett and Husky Harris are storming through the back when John Cena ambushes Harris with a chair shot. Looks like Barrett is going it alone.
-CM Punk joins the announce table, replacing Striker. It’s amazing just how much Punk’s luck would change just six months later.
Barrett tries to slip out for a chair and Cena catches him in a side headlock takedown. The fight spills to ringside, where Cena tries to keep Barrett from getting a chair. Barrett grabs a chair and swings wildly. Cena finds his own chair and they have a stand-off in the ring. Bulldog onto a standing chair by Cena. Barrett gain control and works over the back of Cena. Barrett punishes Cena with a chair while Cena tries to crawl up the aisle. Barrett stands the ring steps vertically in the aisle, but Cena counters a power bomb on the stage. Cena wheels out a rolling chair and sits Barrett in it. Cena hurtles Barrett down the ramp into the ring steps! That was really cool. Sadly, Barrett wraps a chair around Cena’s neck and drives him into the ring post. Barrett continues the destruction of Cena’s neck with the chair. Cena gets tied in the ropes and absorbs more chair shots. Cena escapes and plants Barrett for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Barrett rebounds with a side slam for 2. Barrett counters the STF, sending Cena crashing into a propped chair. Barrett misses a chair assisted elbow drop and lands badly. Cena grabs the chair first and nails a chair assisted flying leg drop! Cena brings several chairs into the ring and stands them in a line. Attitude Adjustment onto the chairs! That’s enough for the Cena victory at 19:04. Call me crazy, but this was a damn good brawl, with plenty of violence and creativity, ****.
Wade Barrett vs. John Cena
Winner: John Cena
-Barrett tries to crawl away but Cena isn’t finished with him yet. Cena places a wooden platform over Barrett and rigs the set to drop about 20 chairs on top of Barrett. That was more insult than punishment, as the board would have protected Barrett.
Final Thoughts: This was an all around terrific show. There were a lot of appealing stories being told and we got some surprisingly excellent matches from the unusual suspects. This is a DVD worth adding to your collection. Thumbs up!
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