WWE Money in the Bank
July 15, 2012
by Samoa Rowe
-From Phoenix, AZ. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Booker T, and Jerry Lawler.
Smackdown Money in the Bank Ladder match:
A huge brawl breaks out as the bell rings. Tensai brings two ladders into the ring and catapults Kidd into one. Tensai sets Christian up but gets blindsided by Kidd. Christian and Kidd team up and knock the wind out of Tensai with a ladder. Christian, Kidd, and Santino all climb the ladder but get knocked down by Sandow. Ziggler prevents Sandow from climbing and Rhodes knocks him out of the ring. Ziggler and Rhodes, the two most likely winners, square off. Sin Cara botches a top rope move on Ziggler (which would prompt Ziggler to complain to management later). Sin Cara is shoved out, and Christian misses a frog splash, crash landing on a ladder! The crowd forgets that Kidd is a jobber as he cleans house. Tensai tries to power bomb Santino off the ladder but they slip up. Easy guys, thatís the second noticeable botch in under 7 minutes. Sandow and Christian battle over the ladder until Sandow gets speared into the corner. Ziggler and Rhodes whip Christian into the ladder and race to the top. Tensai gets involving, twisting Codyís leg into the ladder. Kidd springboards onto the ladder and meets Tensai at the top. Tensai has to swat off all the smaller guys to remain near the top but Christian hits him with a second ladder. Santino delivers the Cobra to Ziggler. Santino has a chance to win, but get this, heís scared of heights. Santino takes too long and Rhodes drop-kicks him off. Vickie gets on the ladder to distract Cody and it works. Christian and Ziggler fight on the top but Kidd rides another ladder in to deliver a big sunset flip to Ziggler! Holy crap! The crowd wasnít half as impressed with that spot as they should have been. Sandow and Christian remove themselves from the match as Tensai sets props a ladder on the apron and announce table. Tensai power bombs Sin Cara onto the ladder! Tensai throws Ziggler over the table but eats a disaster kick from Rhodes! Kidd and Rhodes meet at the top but Kidd gets dropped onto Santino. Christian spears Cody off the ladder! Christian knocks Santino down and is about to win when Ziggler sprints up and tosses him! Ziggler gets the case at 18:24! This is a huge moment for Ziggler! I was concerned that this match was going to be a mess due to some early sloppiness, but they really pulled it together and delivered an awesome second half, ***Ĺ.
Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) vs. U.S. Champion Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara vs. Tensai (with Sakamoto) vs. Christian
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
-Josh Mathews interviews World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus backstage. Sheamus says that unlike Alberto Del Rio, he likes to drive old clunkers. He promises to send Del Rio to the scrap yard.
-The Miz makes a surprise appearance, as heís been on a hiatus. Cole gushes over his hero as Miz appears with a microphone. Miz explains that he was gone filming a movie. Miz is sick of being overlooked so heís entering the Raw Money in the Bank match. This is good news, as so far Miz has been drastically underpushed in 2012.
World Heavyweight Championship:
Del Rio stalls for time and slaps the face. This enrages Sheamus, who pummels Del Rio into the corner. Del Rio goes after the arm in preparation for the cross arm breaker. Sheamus chooses to focus on the head. Flying shoulder block by Sheamus gets a 2 count. Ricardo distracts, allowing Del Rio to deliver an enziguri and take control. Del Rio dishes out a lengthy beating, concentrating on the arm along the way. Del Rio mostly hurts himself with a head butt, allowing Sheamus to nail a neck breaker. Del Rio retains control for a bit longer. Sheamus counters the arm breaker but slingshots into a counter. Sheamus finally makes a comeback. Despite being exhausted, Sheamus pummels the chest, but Del Rio counters by swinging the hurt arm against the ropes. Del Rio charges but Sheamus drops him for a 2 count. The Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio nails a backstabber for a near fall. The enziguri misses and Sheamus nails White Noise. The Brogue Kick finishes it at 14:20. This was a really flat, cookie cutter match up until the hot finish. Sheamus going over strong helps, **Ĺ.
Sheamus © vs. Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez)
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus
-Del Rio is a sore loser and dishes out a revenge beat down on Sheamus. Ricardo gets some shots in as well. I guess we have to see these two wrestle again. Dolph Ziggler comes out with his newly won Money in the Bank brief case and is ready to cash in. Del Rio takes exception to this and Ziggler hits him with the case. Ziggler is caught off guard by a Brogue Kick from a revived Sheamus! Ziggler gets to keep his briefcase and Sheamus stands tall. That was exciting.
-Josh Mathews interviews Daniel Bryan on Youtube! Bryan isnít worried about AJ being the guest referee for his WWE title match tonight because she is his future wife. Josh is confused because AJ recently slapped him in the face, so Daniel lectures him about the intense passion between them. Bryan vows to win the WWE title and AJís heart.
-R-Truth and Kofi Kingston join commentary to watch their competition. For those of you keeping track, they defended their WWE Tag Team Championship in the pre-show match. Iím surprised to find that the Youtube match (against Hunico and Camacho) is NOT an extra on the DVD. Those are some real prestigious belts, eh?
Darren Young and Titus OíNeil (with A.W.) vs. Primo and Epico (with Rosa Mendes)
These guys have some issues to settle stemming from A.W. betraying Primo and Epico at No Way Out. A.W. has a live mic during the match, which would cost him his job a few weeks later, due to an ill-advised Kobe Bryant joke. Epico and Primo have their way with OíNeil in the early going. Primo gets driven into the turnbuckles and has to deal with a fresh Young. The Colons work it out and deliver dives onto the Primetime Players. OíNeil cuts off Epicoís momentum by tossing him through the ropes. Epico takes a prolonged beating. Booker T, the so-called baby face commentator, encourages Primo to cheat. Thereís no question why Booker got taken out of the booth and made into G.M. Rosa distracts OíNeil with some dancing and Primo gets a hot tag. Primo springboards into a Codebreaker from Young! Luckily, Primo counters with a roll-up for the win at 7:26. This was a much-needed profile boost for the participants, Iím glad this made it onto the pay-per-view, **.
Winners: Primo and Epico
-A.W. is livid over the loss and leads the Primetime Players to shouting at Truth and Kingston. Kofi tosses his drink at A.W. and ITíS ON! Or would be, except the Players restrain A.W. from getting himself into further trouble.
WWE Championship (No Disqualifications match):
AJ is the special guest referee and we donít know whose side (if any) sheís on. We get a hot start with both men trading kicks. The fight spills to ringside, where they trade chops. Back to the ring, Bryan stomps the arm and delivers more kicks. Quick roll-up by Punk, but Bryan goes after the face. Punk wins a striking contest. Backbreaker by Punk, but he misses a flying leg drop. More kicking by Bryan, who then goes after the face and head. Suicide dive by Punk connects! Bryan shoves Punk into the ropes, knocking AJ off the apron! Punk is concerned for AJ and is vulnerable to a flying ax handle. Bryan fakes concern for AJ and instructs some medics to take her away. Bryan delivers the flying knee and drives Punk into the ring steps. Bryan gets back dropped over the barricade. Bryan gets crotched on the guard rail and Punk flies into him with a clothesline. Punk drags out a table but doesnít get to use it right away because Bryan has found a kendo stick! Bryan misses some wild swings and they have a stand-off. Punk springboards into a kendo shot! Punk absorbs a flurry of kendo shots, which is pretty violent for the PG era. Bryan misses a diving head butt! Punk wins a strike-fest and mounts a comeback. Bryan counters the Go To Sleep twice and kicks the back of the head. Bryan softens Punk with the kendo stick and applies a surfboard stretch. Punk escapes and unloads on Bryan with kendo shots! Bryan counters with a superplex! AJ returns and skips around the ring while Punk and Bryan are both down. AJ brings in a chair and places it in the middle of the ring, prompting the participants to scramble for it. Bryan gets the chair and delivers a series of shots. Bryan tries to bargain with AJ and gets rolled up by Punk for 2. Bryan dishes out a flurry of kicks. Punk explodes with a suplex and dishes out some chair shots. AJ blocks Punk from driving Bryan into the chair which allows Bryan to reverse. Bryan reaches for the kendo stick, but AJ is standing on it, you know, because sheís CRAZY. Punk delivers a chair-assisted power slam but misses a flying elbow drop onto the chair. Bryan uses the kendo stick to apply the Yes Lock! Punk powers out and sling shots Bryan into the turnbuckle. Punk nails Go To Sleep but heís too slow to cover and only gets 2. Punk brings in the long-forgotten table and sets Bryan on it. Punk climbs the ropes but Bryan pops off to knock him off his feet. Punk counters and delivers a back superplex through the table! Punk meekly makes the cover for the win at 27:40. This was a hell of a match, itís a shame it wasnít the show-closing main event. This was the perfect blend of pure wrestling and sports entertainment, ****ľ.
CM Punk © vs. Daniel Bryan
Winner and still WWE Champion: CM Punk
Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks vs. Ryback
The crowd canít wait to chant ďGoldbergĒ at Ryback as the bell rings. Hawkins is quickly knocked off his feet and then elevated. Big boot by Ryback. Hawkins lures Ryback into a trap as Reks gets a blind tag. Reks gets in some offense and begins making quick tags. Ryback takes a beating but manages to slam Hawkins. Reks tags and runs into a series of shoulder blocks. Ryback drops Reks and dead lifts Hawkins into a power bomb. Ryback puts Reks away with Shellshock at 4:19. This was a good way to put Ryback over, but it didnít belong on pay-per-view, *.
Divas Champion Layla, Kaitlyn, and Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix, Natalya, and Eve Torres
This is our third unadvertised match of the evening. Tamina outmaneuvers Natalya in the early going. Tamina is starting to resemble her father more and more, and no, thatís not a good thing. Natalya looks to Beth for comfort and a tag. Kaitlyn tags in and she sizes up pretty well against Beth. Eve tags and quickly eats a Kaitlyn cross body. Eve takes control with an awkward looking kick. Layla tags and is a house on fire (a whopping two and a half minutes into this thing). Layla reverses a press slam, Kaitlyn tackles Natalya, and Tamina jumps Eve. The ring empties and Beth takes a Tamina super kick and a slam from Layla for the loss at 3:23. Standard divas match here, *.
Winners: Layla, Kaitlyn, and Tamina Snuka
Raw Money in the Bank Ladder match:
A huge opening brawl quickly heads to ringside. Miz finds himself alone in the ring and tries to sneak up the ladder. Cena prevents a Miz victory but Big Show spears both of them. Show drops a ladder and clears the ring until squaring off against Kane. Jericho ends Showís dominance with a Codebreaker! Cena is making it his mission to stop Show from winning so he puts Show through the Spanish announce table with an Attitude Adjustment! Everyone buries Show under a pile of ladders, except for Jericho, who naturally takes the opportunity to sneak attack. Jericho climbs but Miz stops him, only to get trapped in the Walls. Jericho enjoys a stretch in a the driverís seat until Cena knocks him off the ladder. Kane throws a ladder to knock Miz off. Kane is pulled down and eats a double suplex from Jericho and Miz. Cena places Miz and Jericho on a ladder with scoop slams and gives them both a Ten Knuckle Shuffle. Kane takes an Attitude Adjustment onto Miz. Jericho is the only man standing but has to find an unbroken ladder. Big Show emerges from under the ladders and dismantles the ladder that Jericho was climbing. Well, that was certainly different. Big Show punishes everyone near him, thanking them for the ladder pile. Show pulls out what Lawler describes as ďa freaking huge ladder.Ē Show huffs and puffs while letting up the gigantic ladder, giving his opponents a chance to recover. Kane meets Show at the top and they both go for a choke slam. Kane gets knocked down and Cena sprints up, only to get knocked off. Jericho lands some chair shots on Big Show to get him down. Cena and Jericho struggle up and meet at the top. Jericho saves himself from a deadly Attitude Adjustment and applies a sleeper. Despite this, Cena muscles back to the top. After an obnoxiously heroic struggle, Cena tumbles to the mat. Jericho has got the briefcase but Miz stops him from unhooking it! Jericho loses his footing and hangs from the case briefly. Show forces his way up and delivers the knockout punch to Jericho, who tumbles onto another ladder. Cena runs up and uses the case as a weapon, breaking it off the hook in the process and winning at 19:59! Cena looks so surprised, I canít help but wonder if that was the planned finish. This was a great hardcore spot-fest. Everyone worked hard and played their parts perfectly, ****.
Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Big Show vs. John Cena
Winner: John Cena
Final Thoughts: Donít let Cenaís goofy smile on the DVD cover stop you from picking this up. Two **** matches make this an easy recommendation. Thumbs up!
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