WWF Sunday Night HEAT - June 6, 1999
Yep, its another bad 1999-Era WWF show. This time its a particularly ugly episode of Sunday Night Heat. This is our go home Heat before the King Of The Ring '99, and thusly we get to see some ugly little matches to set up the final tournament brackets. If everyone would kindly remember, King Of The Ring '99 is possibly the worst King Of The Ring pay-per-view of all time. Yes, worse than the infamous '95 iteration of the annual tourney. Including the "chokehold heard round the world", Chyna almost going the distance, and an "Ass Man" winning the crown. But that's another review for another time. But now on to the show.
- We open with a rather lengthy hype video showing highlights of a Vince McMahon/Undertaker match. All this was hype for the ultimately disappointing "Higher Power" angle which led to the merger of Vince's Corporation and The Undertaker's Ministry. And we all know how that turned out.
That being said lets move on to the "action". But I should mention, for being an hour long show (or 43 minutes to be picky,) everything on this show, and most from this era, is still incredibly rushed. Its ADD booking at its worst.
But I think we can all consider ourselves lucky that this first match isn't going to be all that long;
"Road Dogg" Jesse James vs. The Godfather- King Of The Ring Qualifier
- Yep, this one's gonna suck. But, to make matters worse, unless this abomination goes to a time limit draw (doubt it) or a double DQ/count out, one of these two are going to wind up wrestling in the tournament. Ugh...
Dogg makes his entrance and cuts his usual promo. Godfather is out, flanked by a half dozen or so skanky ho's.
Quick start; Godfather gets a knee to the gut and some clubbing blows. Dogg gets whipped across, and ducks under a clothesline. Dogg's "Shaky, Shaky" punches stun Godfather. Godfather counters a charge off the ropes with a sideslam. In the corner, Godfather continues to clubber away with some punching and kicking. Dogg eats a corner whip. Godfather revs up the Hooooooooo Train. The finish comes when the referee moves out of the way to avoid the Godfather, leading to Billy Gunn interfering with a chairshot from the ring apron allowing Dogg to cover for the win.
- Postmatch Gunn comes in to stomp on Godfather, but Dogg chases him out. Say wha? I thought they were partners.
Winner: "Road Dogg" Jesse James
Rating: DUD- Too short and without substance to be much of anything.
- Kevin Kelly and Michael Cole (ugh) hype the Val Venis/Chyna main event.
- The Acolytes are walking with a purpose to the ring.
- JR is in the ring to interview The Acolytes. There's two things wrong with this segment.
1. Bradshaw or Faarooq talking. Yep, because at this stage in both mens' careers they weren't good talkers.
2. JR is doing the interviewing. Why the Hell is he playing the second-string broadcaster while Kevin Kelly is making me wish I was born without ears at the booth?
At some point The Brood, who if you'll remember, were Gangrel, Edge, and Christian hit the ring area and brawl with The Acolytes leading to the lights going off and, (gasp) ..... Bradshaw and Faarooq are covered in blood when they come back on.
Didn't the same thing happen to Hulk Hogan?
Backstage, Stone Cold is here and he's walking with a purpose.
Finally we're on to our next match.
Big Show vs. Droz (w/ Prince Albert)- King Of The Ring Qualifier
This is Droz in his post-LOD "Mad Hatter" phase, and his running buddy Albert is still a bad pun about penis piercings.
Droz hits a dropkick to start, Show no-sells it. Show swats Droz on a second attempt. Show stomps away. He pulls Droz up to clobber him. Droz gets whipped across and eats a hard slap to the chest in the corner. A big boot to the mush off the ropes puts Droz down. Show finishes things with a chokeslam moments later.
Winner: The Big Show
Rating: DUD- Like anyone thought Droz had a hope in Hell of winning, anyway.
Postmatch, Big Show beats up his future tag-team partner Albert with a big jumping clothesline.
- Backstage, Austin is accosting an official. Albert and Droz bump into him coming through the curtain and get their asses beat.
Clearly, its not a great night to be Droz or Albert.
Up next, Jeff Jarrett is in action against Mark Henry. Yay?
Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) vs. Mark Henry (w/D'Lo Brown and Ivory)
- We cut to a GTV video of D'Lo watching Mark Henry coming out of a bathroom stall. That was pointless.
In the ring Jarrett's punching away. Henry eats some turnbuckle. Henry reverses a corner to corner whip. Jarrett avoids a splash. A second rope clothesline knocks Henry down. Jarrett punches away. Jarrett avoids a clothesline by sliding through the legs but eats a clothesline on the other side. A whip and a bodyslam put Jarrett down. Henry misses a big elbow, Jarrett gets a stomp and heads up top. A crossbody gets two for Jarrett. Jarrett hits his little running rope splash and struts a bit. Henry eats buckles and reverses a whip to the corner, and follows him in with a big running splash. Henry follows up with a big leg drop. Seeing her man is in trouble Debra tries to distract Henry, but winds up brawling with Ivory. Meanwhile Stone Cold hits the ring and Stunners Henry. Austin gets one on D'Lo, and D'Lo way oversells it by jumping like forty feet into the air. Jarrett, the pussy he is manages to run away.
Winner: NO CONTEST
Rating: DUD- Not a whole lot here.
Shawn "Meat" Stasiak (w/ PMS) vs. Ken Shamrock
Cut to a quick recap of Shamrock beating Jeff Jarrett on the last edition of Heat followed by Jarrett Guitar-ing Shamrock. On the following RAW Jarrett distracted Shamrock long enough for Val Venis to get a cheap roll up pin on him.
Back in the ring, the Meat's already being beat. A jumping enziguri puts him down. Shamrock stomps away and puts Meat down with a kneelift. Shamrock snaps Meat's neck over the second rope before going out to stalk PMS. Back inside Shamrock kicks away a bit. Shamrock continues to clubber away. A series of knees and martial arts kicks put Meat down. Shamrock continues the beating with a punch. Meat reverses a whip, but Shamrock maintains control with a clothesline. Meat bails, and sends Shamrock to the post after blocking Shamrock's attempt. Meat takes control with a punch and a smash on the barricade. He continues punching away, and Shamrock eats a whip to the steps. Back inside Meat covers for two. Back up, Shamrock eats some turnbuckle. Meat hammers away in the corner. Shamrock takes a whip across but explodes out with a clothesline. Back up, Shamrock hits a series of punches and a jumping kick. Shamrock hits a snap-suplex and floats over for two. Shamrock hammers away. Back up, Meat reverses a whip and puts Shamrock down with a big boot. Meat continues to hammer away. Irish whip sends Shamrock off, he gets a heel kick on the way back. Back up, Shamrock hits a belly-to-belly and locks in the ankle lock for the submission win.
Winner: Ken Shamrock
Rating: *- Yay its a match that's not a DUD! Its a God Damned Christmas Miracle. That's not to say it was especially good, but at least it was mildly competitive.
After the match Jeff Jarrett hits the ring to beat down Shamrock with a guitar shot. Jarrett furthers the beating by locking in the ankle lock on Shamrock. In the chaos Stone Cold hits the ring and stunners both Meat and Jarrett.
Backstage, Shamrock cuts a promo challenging Jarrett to a Lion's Den match on RAW the next night.
Kane vs. Test- King Of The Ring Qualifier
Test starts off with a kick and a side-headlock. Kane shoots him off and a shoulderblock goes nowhere for Test. Test pie-faces Kane and eats a clothesline for his troubles. Kane stomps away a bit, and goes for the elbow drop that always misses, and of course.... misses. Test takes control momentarily with a series of punches but a suplex attempt ends with him being hung over the top rope. Kane hits a top-rope clothesline and chokes away on the mat. Kane chases the referee out and turns around into a backdrop to the floor, but lands on his feet. Kane hops back to the apron, ducks a punch and hits a necksnapper on Test. Kane hits a second flying clothesline. Back up, Kane goozles Test, but Test bails to the ropes and holds on before hammering his way out. Test ducks a clothesline and hammers away a bit more. Kane reverses a whip, but sets to early and eats a spinning neckbreaker. Kane simply sits up. Back up, Test continues to hammer away. Kane fights back with some clubbering of his own. Test eats some turnbuckle. Kane hammers away in the corner. Test takes a whip, and a clothesline. Test takes another whip across, but gets the elbow up on a charge. Test charges out, ducks a clothesline and nails Kane with a big running boot. Test tries to finish things with the Pumphandle Slam, but Kane floats down and reverses it into a Tombstone for the pin.
Rating: *- Again, not super great, but a perfectly acceptable big man match.
Backstage, some little nerd named Lucas asks Austin who the "Higher Power" is. Austin basically threatens the kid and leaves.
Back to the action, it's our main event; Val Venis taking on Chyna.
Chyna (w/ Triple H) vs. Val Venis (w/ Nicole Bass)
Chyna jumps Val during his customary pre-match promo. She hammers away a bit. Val retreats to the corner and eats a series of martial arts style sidekicks. Chyna rocks Val with a couple right hands and goes back to the kicks. Venis reverses a whip across but stops short on a clothesline. He won't hit a woman?
So why should he worry about hitting Chyna?
Val psyches himself up and finally goes for one, but Chyna moves and nails Val with a powerslam for two. Back up, Chyna goes for the Pedigree but winds up getting slingshotted into the referee who was standing idly in the corner. Venis tries to follow up, but Triple H grabs trips him up. Nicole Bass tries to get involved from the apron but Chyna way-lays her with a big right hand. Val stalks Chyna and hits her with a Perfect-Plex, but there's no ref to count it. With Val unable to protect himself Hunter interferes with a low-blow allowing Chyna to hit the Pedigree and get the pin.
Postmatch Venis and Triple H brawl a bit as officials hit the ring to try to break it up. Austin hits the ring and Stunners Val and a bunch of officials as the show ends.
Rating: 3/4*- Nothing special, but a little better than a total DUD.
Final Thoughts: Well, its your typical weekly WWF show from this period; short matches, a lot of Austin, and some bad/uninspired wrestling. Its Heat, so what more do you expect?
Recommenced: Sure, if you're a fan of wrestling from this era. Otherwise its a take it or leave it kind of show.
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