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WWE Main Event - November 14, 2012

by Scrooge McSuck

- Last week on WWE Main Event, Sheamus and Wade Barrett beat the piss out of each other in a knockdown, drag-out slugfest, and we redefined snoozer when R Truth and Heath Slater put 15,000 people and myself to sleep. This week, Championship gold is on the line!

- Originally taped from Cleveland, OH, on November 13th. Michael Cole and the Miz are calling all the action tonight. Seems like Miz and JBL have been doing a revolving door for color commentary lately. We kick things off with a flashback to Raw. The Miz, on the path to a face turn, teamed with Kane to take on Sandow and Rhodes, ticking off Daniel Bryan in the process. They were victorious, dispite Bryan's attempts at sabotaging the Miz.

- Josh Mathews is backstage with Kane and Daniel Bryan. They're still arguing over who is the Tag Team Champions, complete with poor grammatical use, until Sandow and Rhodes beat the crap out of Bryan after Kane walks off. Is tonights Championship match in Jeopardy?

- Recap video of the on-going alliance between "Team Hell No." This all started back when both men were signed up for Anger Management class. From petty arguing, to hugging it out, it's been a pretty enjoyable comedy act. Enter Sandow and Rhodes, who are out to prove that having a strong partnership is more important than being two goofs, and are looking to unseat Kane and Bryan as the Tag Team Champion(s).

WWE Tag Team Championship Match:
Team Hell No vs. The Rhodes Scholars:

(Kane & Daniel Bryan vs. Damian Sandow & Cody Rhodes)
ReMatch from Hell in a Cell, where Sandow and Rhodes picked up a victory by Disqualification. To be fair, Kane was crushing them both like little ants, but that isn't the point. Kane and Bryan rush the ring and quickly clear the challengers from the ring. We start officially, with Kane and Rhodes. Rhodes pounds away, but grabs a headlock and gets wiped out with a shoulder tackle. Kane sends him to the corner and takes him over with a side headlock. Whip to the ropes, and Kane plows through Rhodes with another shoulder. Bryan gets the tag in and lays into Rhodes with a pair of kicks. Into the corner with more kicks to the midsection. He turns Rhodes over and starts going for the surfboard, but instead slams Rhodes' knees hard into the canvas. Kane tags back in, and accidentally levels Bryan with a right. They get into a shoving match, but Kane offers to hug it out, allowing Rhodes to recover, sending Kane to the floor with a dropkick, and allowing Sandow to ram him face-first into the post.

We return from commercial break with Sandow slapping a chinlock on Kane. Rhodes tags in, and they take the big red machine over with a double suplex for a two count. Rhodes with a pair of boots to the face, followed by a barely connecting moonsault. Kane pops up quick, and takes Rhodes over with a back body drop... and that's where the match dies, as Rhodes lands awkwardly and appears knocked out of it. Bryan tags in, pounds away on Rhodes, and takes him down with a clothesline for a two count. Bryan to the top rope, but he misses the swandive headbutt. Sandow tags back in in an obvious "wow, that guy is hurt" moments. Sandow covers for two, and tosses Bryan to the floor. The camera pans back to the ring, and Rhodes seems to be absent, no doubt getting medical attention off to the side. Thankfully, the classy people at WWE show a replay of the spot several times throughout the match, just to show how badly hurt he must be. Back inside, Sandow stomps and chokes away on Bryan for another two count, then slaps on a body scissors as we take a break.

We return with Bryan struggling to get to his feet, and landing elbows to the side of the head. He hits the ropes, but runs into a knee, and Sandow covers for two. Hey look, another replay! Sandow stomps away and covers again, for two. Sandow sets up on the top rope for a super-plex, but Bryan shoves him off, and connects with a missile dropkick. Kane gets the hot tag, and hammers away on Sandow with rights. Whip to the corner, followed in with a clothesline, followed by the side suplex for a two count. Kane decks Rhodes, who's still out of it, then comes off the top rope with a clothesline on Sandow. Kane with the Chokeslam, Bryan with the diving headbutt, and the Champions surprisingly retain at 11:59. I say surprisingly, because I had money on Rhodes and Sandow going over. Considering the injury to Rhodes, there was enough here to salvage the match, but instead of some great, extended heel work, Sandow pretty much worked the entire match and the pre-match injury to Bryan became a non-factor. Oh, and yes, we get ANOTHER replay.

- Post-match, Kane and Daniel Bryan try to mend fences with the Miz over [insert problems here], but when Bryan offers to hug it out, the Miz refuses and goes back to his broadcast position. Good. Miz shouldn't be hugging anyone.

- Dolph Ziggler with a promo hyping the Survivor Series Elimination Match coming up on sunday, and it turns into a pissing contest between himself and the Miz. Honestly, Miz is right that all Ziggler does is lose, but why point it out? How does that help anyone? After a few minutes of back and forth, our main event is scheduled for next week: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler. At least it'll allow Ziggler a better chance for a good match on the Main Event, unlike that crap with Ryback.

Santino Marella vs. David Otunga:

We're down to about 7-minutes left in the broadcast, and we still take a commercial break during Santino's entrance, which means Otunga gets the jobber treatment. We join in progress with Santino taking Otunga over with an arm drag, then hooking an armbar. Whip to the ropes, and Santino with his goofy power-walking before going back to the combo of arm drag/arm bar. Otunga escapes with a short right hand, sends Marella to the corner, and charges in with a shoulder to the midsection. Otunga with knees to the chest for an arrogantly covered two count. Whip to the corner, and he follows in with more shoulders, followed by a stomach buster for two. Otunga continues to stink the ring up with his lack of ability other than posing. Marella blows a kip up to a few laughs, but manages to avoid another charge to the corner. He takes Otunga over with a hip toss, pulls the sock puppet out, and the Cobra Strike actually wins it at a JIP 3:21. Color me incredibly surprised, considering Marella's doing jobs for Heath Slater, lately. Otunga is easily one of the worst workers on the WWE roster. I'm glad he's doing jobs for a comedy wrestler.

Final Thoughts: Nothing mind blowing in quality tonight, but everything up until the last 5 minutes had a purpose. The Tag Team "Main Event" wasn't as good as I was hoping, but one of the workers suffering an injury early in the match clearly can't be helped, and they did well enough to make up for it without going home early. Miz and Ziggler's exchanges were humorous and sets up next week's big match, and heck, Santino won over a muscled up no-talent hack. Good show, says I.

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