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WWE Main Event - October 23, 2013

by Scrooge McSuck

- Last week on WWE Main Event... Dean Ambrose successfully defended the US Championship against Dolph Ziggler, Santino and Tons of Funk were victorious over the awesome trio of 3MB, Damien Sandow picked up a rare victory over R-Truth in a rematch from several weeks ago, and the Great Khali made an unnecessary appearance making Fandango look like junk. This time last year, Ryback had one of his longest matches to date squashing Dolph Ziggler, and Alberto Del Rio made Sin Cara tap like a bitch. Whatever happened to Sin Cara? I guess that sprained knuckle put him on the 60-day DL.

- Taped from an undisclosed location on October 22nd, 2013, with Josh Mathews (in a sling, selling a beating from Alberto Del Rio on last week's Smackdown) and the Miz (unfortunately not in a sling, despite being bullied around by Bray Wyatt inn recent weeks) are calling the action, unless otherwise noted.

Goldust (w/ Cody Rhodes) vs. Seth Rollins (w/ Roman Reigns):

It's time for some classic booking: One half of a tag team taking on one half of another team that they happen to be feuding with. Goldust is making his first ever appearance on Main Event, and damn if I'm not surprised by how good he's been in the ring in his latest comeback. Lockup and Goldust grabs a headlock. Rollins sends him to the ropes to escape, but he goes down to a shoulder tackle, and takes a breather following an arm drag. The audio seems to be out of sync with my video... I know, what the hell is the point of mentioning that? Rollins comes in with a shoulder tackle, but again has to take it to the floor after Goldust catches him off the ropes with arm drags. Rollins takes control, stomping Goldust down. He sends Goldust to the buckle one-time too-many, and gets laid out for it. Goldust goes for the arm, but Rollins quickly fights him off. Snapmare from out of the corner, followed by a dropkick to the back for a near fall. Goldust quickly escapes a chinlock, then back drops Rollins to the floor on a charge. Goldust follows, pounding away from a mounted position. Reigns and Goldust have a stare-down until Rollins recovers and throws Goldie into the security wall.

We return from commercial, with Rollins in control, holding onto a chinlock. Goldust offers a comeback, only to take an elbow to the face to swing the momentum back in Rollins' favor. Goldust with a surprise backslide for two. Rollins sends him to the corner, complete with a bit of an oversell. Rollins keeps going to the well, and on the third time, Goldust catches Rollins with a snap powerslam. Slugfest goes Goldust's way, followed by a pair of clotheslines and his signature uppercut. Inverted atomic drop and running bulldog from Goldust gets a two count. Rollins sends him to the corner, but runs into a boot. Rollins keeps fighting out of a suplex attempt, and drops Goldust with an enziguri. Rollins charges into the corner with a forearm smash. He heads to the top rope for his curb-stomp, but Goldust avoids it and connects with a Spinebuster for a two count. Rollins rolls to the apron, only to take more punishment and get hung up across the top rope. Goldust throws him into the security wall, then brings him over with a suplex. Goldust gets in Reigns' face again as he sends Rollins back in the ring. Cody and Reigns get into it, while Rollins surprises Goldust with a school boy for the three count at 11:47 (minus one commercial break). **1/2 Decent, but seemed to be in low gear until the series of near falls at the end. Technically a fine match, but just a bit disappointing. Does this give the Shield an edge going into the PPV? Nah.

- John Cena hype video, because he's only been gone for roughly two months. Imagine if he were out for a year. WWE might as well pull out the "Out of Business Until Cena Returns" signs.

The Primetime Players vs. The Real Americans (w/ Zeb Colter):

(Darren Young & Titus O'Neil vs. Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger)
With two babyface teams in the spotlight right now, and the Real Americans on a collision course with Los Matadores, I don't like the PTP's odds in winning this match. I sure hope I get a Darren Young fro-pick and Titus O'Neil whistle in my stocking this Christmas. Swagger works over O'Neil in the corner to start. O'Neil quickly fires back and throws Swagger over his head. Young tags in for a double team shoulder tackle. Young with a Northern Lights Suplex on Swagger, but Cesaro gets the blind tag and does the double stomp across the bridging midsection. Cesaro and Swagger take turns beating Young down in the corner. Swagger with a short-arm clothesline and second rope splash, and Cesaro follows with the leap-frog double stomp. Young with elbows to fight out of a chinlock, only to be lifted and dropped across the top turnbuckle. O'Neil gets the hot tag and easily overpowers everyone. Swagger with a distraction allows Cesaro to clip the knee. The Cesaro Swing follows (15 rotations!), and Swagger finishes with the Patriot Lock for the tap-out at 5:19. **1/2 You know, I'm starting to love this tag team of Cesaro and Swagger. They have good chemistry for two guys who've probably never worked together before this pairing. With a few more minutes, the heat segment on Young could've been more effective, but the match almost immediately jumped to that, and looked more like an extended squash.

- Because someone is hating me today, the audio is completely gone from my video and is having trouble streaming, and the alternate version I use has been removed for copyright reasons. So... yeah. Here's the rest of the show in short form, since I actually watched the show live before trying to view it again for this recap:

- We recap the nonsense going on between "The Authority", the Big Show, Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, and my 6th Grade Science teacher.

- The Funkadactyls defeated Alicia Fox and Aksana. Ugly, awful match that felt more like 30-minutes rather than the 3 it ran. Fox and Aksana carried the match to a DUD rating, and Aksana does the job to a butt to the face. I couldn't make that up if I tried.

- Damien Sandow wins for the second week in a row against Dolph Ziggler. Yes, Ziggler is doing the closing show job now, after winning consecutive matches against Sandow at Battleground and the following episode of Raw. Seriously, who did he piss off? Match was about ** and ran slightly over 5-minutes.

Final Thoughts: We're definitely in permanent midcard form with Main Event, but three of the four matches delivered short, quality performances. Goldust and Rollins was a decent opener, Sandow/Ziggler was technically fine, and the Real Americans/Primetime Players was short, but fun tag team action. The Divas Tag was an abomination and complete mess thanks to most (if not all) the participants being poorly trained eye-candy. Overall, a fun waste of an hour, if you could actually watch the damn stream and hear the audio. You could say Halloween might be playing some Havok on me. Some #HalloweenHavok.

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