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WWE Main Event - July 8, 2014

by Scrooge McSuck

- We're a couple of weeks removed from Money In The Bank, and less than two weeks away from Battleground, which is actually shaping up to be a decent card, once you ignore the fact that it makes ZERO sense for Roman Reigns to be in the World Title Match under the circumstances that he is (that being just randomly added to it by THE AUTHORITY, WHO DIDN'T WANT HIM IN THE LADDER MATCH LAST MONTH). With another free week offer of the WWE Network, this program looks to be a bit more important than usual.

- Presented live on the WWE Network, from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips are at ringside to call the action, unless otherwise noted. I guess Renee Young has only been promoted to the broadcast position for Superstars so far.

WWE United States Championship; Last Man Standing Match:
Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio:

You read that right... a high profile(ish) Gimmick Match on MAIN EVENT! For those with a short memory, Del Rio won not one, but two, Last Man Standing matches to win and retain the World Heavyweight Title from the Big Show in the early weeks of 2013. A few months earlier and these two were in a "heated" program over the same Title. He also defeated Dolph Ziggler on Raw to earn this title match. Del Rio's reaction is anemic, at best. Slugfest to start, with both men tumbling to the floor. They take turns ramming each other into various pieces of equipment at ringside. Sheamus catches a charging Del Rio and plants him with a rolling senton on the floor. Del Rio whips out a kendo stick and takes batting practice as we take a quick break.

We return with Del Rio in control, still using the kendo stick. He comes off the top rope and whacks him across the chest with it. Sheamus reaches out for the stick, only to take a basement dropkick to the face. Del Rio to the top for a third time, but this time its countered with an axehandle. Sheamus pounds away with rights, comes off the ropes with axehandles, and catches Del Rio coming with the Irish Curse back breaker. Sheamus has the kendo stick now and has his fun with it. Del Rio counters White Noise with a DDT. Del Rio misses his dive through the ropes, but lands on the apron. Sheamus pulls him to his feet and lands his signature clubbering forearms, TWENTY in all, and shoves him face-first to the announcer's table.

After another break, advertising CM Punk's two Money in the Bank Ladder Match victories on WrestleMania Rewind, we return with Sheamus in control, taking Del Rio down with a back suplex. Sheamus brings a chair into the ring, but Del Rio knocks him in the knees with the kendo stick and kicks the chair back in the face! Is that allowed? Del Rio has a nasty slice across his left shoulder. Sheamus offers a comeback, but a knee to the midsection slows him down. Del Rio brings a second chair, but Sheamus blocks a head-shot and takes Del Rio down with a Powerslam. He signals for the Brogue Kick, but Del Rio side-steps and counters with the Back Stabber. Sheamus ducks a super-kick and counters with White Noise. Sheamus pulls out the Table the crowd has chanted for all match and sets it up in the ring. Del Rio gives him the Back Stabber to the arm and follows up with a running enziguri. Sheamus fights back, but hits the chair in the corner. Del Rio takes him over with the Cross Armbreaker, but Sheamus powers him off the ground and slams him down through the table! Both men make it up at 9, but the Brogue Kick connects immediately afterwards, and Del Rio is done, allowing Sheamus to retain at 17:02! ***1/4 The crowd wasn't into it as much as WWE probably wanted, and rightfully so, being a thrown together gimmick match, but both men are above-average workers, hnave good chemistry, worked a smart match, and took some brutal shots, made apparant by huge welts and random cuts all over their bodies. With better crowd reactions, I would've gone higher, but it still felt like a PPV caliber performance.

- Two weeks ago on Raw, The Miz returned to complete apathy, and Chris Jericho returned to an actual response, only to be interrupted and laid out by the Wyatt Family. Officially announced for WWE Battleground: Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt. Battleground is within reasonable traveling distance for me, but I will pass. Renee Young is backstage with Chris Jericho, and he's hosting a special edition of the Highlight Reel... with BRET "HITMAN" HART as his special guest!

- Raw Rebound: WWE World Heavyweight Champion John Cena battled "Mr. Money In The Bank" Seth Rollins in a Non-Title Match. After a hard-fought match, Kane and Randy Orton interfered, which of course brings out Roman Reigns. Rollins tried to cash in the briefcase, but Dean Ambrose, as promised, continues to interrupt Rollins' attempts at cashing in the briefcase. I have way more interest in Rollins vs. Ambrose than I do the Fatal 4-Way for the WWE Title at Battleground.

- Satuday Night's Main Event has been added to the library on the WWE Network. SUBSCRIBE NOW! AND OH MY GOD, DID I JUST HEAR ANIMOTION'S OBSESSION!?!

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya, Summer Rae, Naomi, Rosa Mendes, Eva Marie:

Yeah... this shouldn't take long. Bella has been the target of Stephanie McMahon's rage over the circumstances surrounding her sister, Brie. They call Natalya a "Hometown" favorite, but last I checked, Ontario and Alberta were NOT the same. That's like saying a New Yorker is a hometown favorite in Connecticut. Yes, close in terms of geographical position, but... you know, fuck it, not worth my time arguing. Nice to see Mendes still has a job despite being absolutely useless and having issues with substance abuse lately. So much better than Aksana. Cameron was advertised as a participant, but no-shows. Mendes with some weak shit offense. Sloppy double team suplex from Rosa and Summer Rae. Absolutely heatless match. You can hear the toilet's flushing in the background. Nikki practically whiffs on a diving clothesline. Eva Marie with the blind tag, takes Nikki down with a DDT, and covers for three at 2:31. DUD This was a match, and it wasn't very good. Thankfully it was very short.

- Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel closes out the show, with special guest Bret "Hitman" Hart, looking more and more like Stu every year. The night before on Monday Night Raw, Bret Hart's special appearance in Montreal was interrupted by a Bret Hart inspired Damian Sandow. After a few minutes of meaningless banter, Damian Sandow interrupts Hart again, this time dressed up as Shawn Michaels' interpretation of Skinner. The end game is Bret clobbering Sandow and putting him in the Sharpshooter, and he still does it better than anyone else, despite not working in the ring since 2000 (I refuse to call his abomination of in-ring efforts in 2010-2011 as serious contributions to the ring).

Final Thoughts: Solid PPV caliber performance from Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio over the United States Championship and a decent time filler "special attraction" in the form of a Bret Hart/Chris Jericho love-fest. The rest was a lot of recap filler and a worthless Diva's Match, but when you got a lengthy opener that takes up half the run time of the broadcast, you can't complain too much. If WWE could keep making Main Event a must-see show, I would love to follow it week to week like I did for the first year of it's run on ion Television.

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