WWE Main Event - July 3, 2013
by Scrooge McSuck
- Last Week on WWE Main Event...Chris Jericho defeated Cody Rhodes to build him up for a match with Ryback at Money In The Bank, Christian and Dean Ambrose went head to head in an attempt to further angles that also involved the Uso brothers and the remaining members of the Shield, and the Primetime Players picked up their first victory of 2013, going over the Tons of Funk in an effort to make them look like suitable opponents for CM Punk and Curtis Axel. Did I mention the train wreck debut of a new Diva? There was that too. Looks like they changed the intro a bit to feature names like the Shield and Christian.
- Josh Mathews and Cody Rhodes are at ringside to call the action, unless otherwise noted. For the second week in a row, we're not informed of the location of this weeks Main Event. There's just going to be tons of hype for WWE Money In The Bank.
Christian vs. Damian Sandow:
Both men will be involved in Money In The Bank Ladder Matches, with Christian going for the WWE Championship briefcase, and Sandow for the World Heavyweight Championship. Not the most star-studded match to feature, but it's also something different. Sandow quotes himself in a pre-match promo to agitate the audience. It's been a while since I've seen Sandow's bit. Maybe he'll get a fresh push after several months of jobbing. Lockup, Christian with a waist-lock and Sandow quickly grabs the ropes to force a break. To the corner, and Sandow with a surprisingly clean break. Christian with a side headlock, and Sandow puts him down with a shoulder tackle. Sandow with a headlock into a takeover. Christian counters with a head scissors, then takes Sandow over with another headlock. Sandow tries to muscle out, but Christian hangs on. Christian with a pair of shoulder tackles and pin attempts, frustrating Sandow. We get a game of cat-and-mouse, ending with Sandow missing an elbow drop. Christian with a shoulder to the midsection, and a sunset flip back in from the apron gets two. Sandow cartwheels to escape a wristlock and starts pounding away with rights. Sandow with a slam for two, then quickly grabs a chinlock. Christian comes back with a one-man flapjack for a two count. Sandow catches him off the ropes with a shoulder to the midsection. He tries to go for a suplex from the apron, but Christian blocks and sweeps him off, then follows with a baseball slide. He heads to the top, only to miss a body press. Christian ducks under a clothesline, and takes both himself and Sandow out via the top rope with one of his own.
We come back from break, with Christian planting Sandow with a slam and coming off the ropes with a clothesline for two. Charge to the corner, Christian sweeps the legs and teases posting Sandow up, but plays to the crowd too much and ends up tasting the steel, himself. Sandow puts the boots to Christian as he re-enters the ring. He drops a knee across the chest and covers for two. Knee to the back, and Sandow slaps on a chicken-wing assisted chinlock. Sandow sets up and misses another knee drop, allowing Christian to roll him up for two. Sandow quickly lays him out with a clothesline for another two count. Sandow with choking across the bottom rope, followed by a Russian leg sweep and the Elbow of Disdain for two. Christian offers a comeback, only to get crotched along the top turnbuckle. They slug it out until Sandow takes Christian down with a super-plex. Sandow takes his time to cover, allowing Christian to cradle him for two. Both men are up, and quickly take each other down with clotheslines. Whip to the ropes and Christian comes off with a forearm. He comes off the second turnbuckle with a missile dropkick for two. Charge to the corner meets boot. Sandow misses a clothesline, allowing Christian to take him down with a reverse DDT for two. Sandow with a headbutt to the midsection, but Christian fights out of the neckbreaker and springs off the ropes with a sunset flip for another two count. Sandow uses the tights to throw Christian into the corner. Sandow counters a tornado DDT, and a somersault neckbreaker gets two. He sets Christian up along the top turnbuckle, but this time Christian fights him down and connects with a diving elbow. Christian sets for the Killswitch, but Sandow fights free and takes him down with a reverse DDT of his own for a two count. Sandow misses a charge, gets hung up across the top rope, and the Killswitch finishes at 17:01 (minus one commercial break). That took a while to get into, but this was a solid 3-star performance that harkens back to the old days when midcarders were allowed twenty minutes to work things out. Sandow got to show some different offense than usual, and Christian is a steady performer, no matter who he works with.
Sin Cara vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter):
Josh Mathews helpfully points out that Swagger is being featured here because he's a former Money In The Bank Winner. Little things like that make a squash match seem more important. WWE really needs fresh undercard faces to use in situations like this. You can only see Sin Cara and Zack Ryder crushed by the same people over and over before it gets old. Sin Cara lays in with a series of kicks, no doubt pissed about being called illegal for the second time in three weeks. Swagger quickly starts no-selling, driving knees to the midsection. Sin Card counters a back suplex and springs off the ropes with an elbow. Swagger charges and goes flying over the top rope. Sin Cara follows, only to be rammed into the security wall. That's a long 10-count to get back in. We take a break, and come back with Swagger coming off the second buckle with a splash. Swagger grabs a waistlock, but treats it more like a grounded bearhug. Whip to the ropes, and Sin Cara surprises Swagger with a crucifix for two. Swagger is up first, and regains control following a boot to the face. Swagger grounds him again, this time with a double chicken-wing. Swagger with a slam, but he misses a leg drop. Sin Cara can't quite take Swagger down with head scissors, but an enziguri softens him up for a top rope body press. Swagger catches him off the ropes with a gutwrench powerbomb, and the Patriot Lock finishes at 6:15 (minus one break). Typical fluff piece featuring a semi-pushed midcarder and a bottom feeding babyface. It had its moments, but that's all that can really be said about it.
- The Wyatt Family is making their debut on the upcoming episode of Monday Night Raw. How often does WWE END the show with a vignette to hype a newcomer? Not very. I'm looking forward to it.
- Rob Van Dam is returning at Money In The Bank, incase we all missed the other 658 times they told us about it.
- In case we all missed this too, Mark Henry faked out John Cena with talks of retirement, only to lay him out with the World's Strongest Slam, and thus making him the new #1 Contender for the WWE Championship at Money In The Bank. It was surprisingly effective and I'm actually looking forward to it.
Curt Hawkins vs. Big E. Langston (w/ A.J. Lee):
A.J. joins the broadcast team, mostly to hype the upcoming match at Money In The Bank against former Champion, Kaitlyn. Wasn't Hawkins working as a heel a couple of weeks ago? I guess it's a fresh babyface scrub, except he's been part of the WWE roster since 2006. Lockup, and Langston throws Hawkins around with ease. Hawkins dares to go for a shoulder tackle, and fails miserably. Langston grabs a bearhug as we question the relationship between Ziggler and A.J. Hawkins tries the hit-and-move approach, which works for about 30-seconds. Langston's too strong for him to keep down, and eventually finishes him off with a splash and the Big Ending at 3:12. That was a satisfying squash, but it's unfortunate that Langston is directionless at this point, other than for being muscle for A.J. and (maybe) Ziggler.
Final Thoughts: There's lots of hype for Money In The Bank, and it's looking like a solid show. As for the actual wrestling featured, we've got the typical three match structure: a lengthy midcard match to open the show (very lengthy in this case, and it needed the time to develope, too), a mid-length semi-squash for a mildly pushed heel (Jack Swagger, featured in one of the MITB Ladder Matches at the PPV), and a squash match to remind everyone "hey, this guy is worth looking into" (Big E. Langston). Monday Night Raw must've been REALLY bad, as we didn't get a traditional Raw Rewind. Just a handful of hype videos for Henry/Cena, the debut of the Wyatt Family, and RVD's return on the PPV.
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