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WWE Main Event - April 8, 2014

by Scrooge McSuck

- This episode of Main Event marks the end of an era... the era of WWE Main Event being syndicated on the ion Network. Main Event will (allegedly) resume as a WWE Network Exclusive and syndicated in foreign markets, not unlike WWE Superstars has for the last three years or so. If not for the WWE Network using it as exclusive content (for the most part), I'm sure a deal would've been worked out to continue bringing it to American audiences on some crappy network.

- Incase anyone missed Monday Night Raw... HOW DARE YOU! It wasn't perfect, but it was easily the smartest book Raw in a long time. Knowing the crowd they had to "entertain", matches and workers were done to manipulate such a thing. Cena? Stuck into a 6-Man with the smark-popular Wyatt's. Orton? Stuck in a 2-minute beating of the Uso's instead of a 20-minute stinker with Sheamus like in the previous Post-WM Raw. Lots of Cesaro, lots of Daniel Bryan, a satisfying conclussion with the Shield officially turning face. Hulk Hogan and Warrior appearing on the same episode of Raw for the first and probably only time. Plus the debuts of NXT Diva's Champion Paige (in a HORRIBLY lackluster performance, possibly because of nerves, mostly because of poor writing), that stupid Ivan Drago guy, and hype for Bo Dallas (are you a Boliever?) and Adam Rose (here's my current ex-girlfriend, and my future ex-girlfriend!). Just a great experience.

- Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips are at ringside to call all the action. No idea where they're coming from, we're never told.

The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family:

(Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan)
This should be awesome. When did Bray Wyatt start playing to each crowd when blowing out the lantern? That's more a babyface thing, isn't it? Eh, whatever... I like shades of grey when done right. Ambrose and Rowan start. Ambrose slaps the sheep mask off and pounds away. He ducks under a clothesline and takes Rowan down with a twisting elbow. Ambrose and Rollins with a double suplex for two. Rollins slugs away, but can't take Rowan down. He hangs all over Rowan with some kind of body scissors, finally taking him off his feet. Rowan escapes, and we have a 6-man stand-off as we break for "commercial." (a.k.a another advertisement for Legend's House... which might be fun)

We're back from the commercial, with Rollins slugging away on Rollins. Wyatt puts an end to it with a weird facebuster for a two count. Rollins gets dragged into the wrong side of town and worked over by Rowan. Back suplex gets two. Harper sends him to the corner and follows in with an avalanche. Rollins with a cool flipping counter, but he goes to the wrong corner. He still makes it to his team, tagging in Roman Reigns. He cleans house and lays out Harper with a jumping clothesline. Avalanche to the corner, followed by a double team back suplex/neck breaker for two. Ambrose gets distracted by Rowan and eats a big boot from Harper, but kicks out at two. Wyatt in with a full-steam avalanche, followed by some bitch slapping. Rowan with a slam, then rips off Sgt. Slaughter's noogie submission hold. Ambrose escapes by biting the hand, but comes off the ropes and caught with a sidewalk slam. Ambrose tries slugging it out with Harper, but again is trapped in the wrong corner. Ambrose tries to skin the cat, but takes a boot to the head as we take another break (this time advertising the Ultimate Warrior DVD. It's pretty good, give it a look, as long as you aren't looking for match after match featuring tons of snowflakes).

Ambrose is still in trouble, as Harper drops an elbow across the chest for two. He grabs ahold of the front facelock and Gator-Roll's with him for a bit before settling into a standard chinlock. Ambrose escapes with a jawbuster and slugs it out again until being slammed face-first to the canvas. Rowan sends Ambrose to the corner and catches him in a bearhug. At least he looks believable doing it. Ambrose slips out of a slam attempt and hooks a sleeper hold, but Rowan is quick to counter by falling back across the chest. Harper comes in, and HOLY CRAP is he one creepy looking son of a bitch. He levels Ambrose with a series of European uppercuts, but on the third, Ambrose bounces off the ropes with a vicious clothesline. Wyatt in cutting off the tag, but a charge meets boot. Wyatt remains in control, setting up a Super-Plex, but Ambrose blocks and counters by dropping Wyatt with a flurry of headbutts. Ambrose comes off with an axehandle, but Wyatt catches him and counters with a Rock Bottom for two. Everyone comes in for some wild action, but it soon spills to the floor. Harper with a suicide dive on Roman Reigns! Wyatt sets up for Sister Abigail, but Ambrose counters with a school boy for two! Ambrose with a DDT! Rollins is the only man left to tag in, and he quickly sends Rowan to the floor! He dropkicks Rowan and Harper to the floor, and follows with a suicide dive on Harper and a somersault plancha to Rowan! Back inside, Rollins with a running forearm into the corner. Rollins with the Asai DDT for two! Harper goes for a Powerbomb, bu Ambrose knocks him to the floor. Wyatt in with a big body tackle! Reigns in with the SUPERMAN PUNCH! Rowan dumps Reigns back to the floor. Rollins with an enziguri to Rowan, and an enziguri to Harper! Jumping kick from Reigns to Rowan! Running dropkick by Ambrose, Curb-Stomp by Rollins, and the Ambrose Facebuster finishes it at 19:25! HOLY CRAP, was that intense! **** I was almost dead set on a 3 1/2 star ceiling, but then things kicked into super-high-gear for an electrifying final few minutes of non-stop action. Clean finishes don't hurt, either. Nice to see Rollins and Ambrose as the stars, without Reigns making the big superman comeback exclusively for his team. One of the best matches in Main Event History.

- Renee Young with a post-match interview with the Shield. Dean Ambrose's selling of the beating is borderline comical, but I think that's the purpose of his over-acting. Their motives are simple: They aren't faceless, disposable nothings as The Authority has called them. Reigns then hits on Young, because he IS related to the Rock, I think, and we all need hunky Samoans hitting on the beautiful female interviewers. Believe in the Shield. I am very interested to see where things go with The Shield, Triple H, and the rest of "The Authority" goons. I guarantee we get an awesome 6-Man Tag at Extreme Rules, the next "WWE Special." I hate to be whatever has to follow this 30-minutes of awesome.

- Hype video for Adam Rose. I guess this means 3MB won't be around much more now that we have a "rock star" gimmick that looks to be getting an actual, serious push. Maybe this means Drew McIntyre will be repackaged as more than a stupid comedy jobber... or he can join the ranks of Yoshi Tatsu and David Otunga, and make one appearance a year.

- The Undertaker's streak ending has made headlines across the world. Paul Heyman's celebratory speech from Monday Night Raw on behalf of Brock Lesnar was a glorious example of over-the-top trolling and self-congratulation. Too bad we don't get to see a replay of it. With more time to think about it, I stand by how I feel: it was the right move, and it made for a unforgettable WrestleMania moment. We all wanted him to go out in a better quality performance, but knowing how banged up he was (and the severe concussion suffered early), I applaud their efforts in clawing their ways into an overall solid performance.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter):

Not only did we get the Real Americans breaking up on the Kick-Off Show for WrestleMania, but then Swagger smashes the Andre The Giant Trophy! I know, unheard of! To make things worse for Swagger and Colter, Cesaro is apparently a Paul Heyman Guy now. Good, he needs to stay heel, and he's 900 times better than Ryback and Curtis Axel. Heyman can talk, and Cesaro sure as shit can work his ass off. My interest in Swagger has taken a bigger hit than WWE's stock this past week. Ziggler hits a dropkick at the bell, but misses a charge. Swagger Bomb gets an early two count. Swagger with knees to the midsection and short-clothesline for two. Ziggler off the ropes with a body press. Mounted punches in the corner, but a neckbreaker is countered and Swagger clips the knee. Swagger Bomb #2 meets a boot, and Ziggler takes him over with a sunset flip. Swagger kicks out and hooks the Patriot Lock, but Swagger escapes and hits the Fame-Asser. Only gets two. Swagger blocks the Zig-Zag and hits a big boot for two. Ziggler counters a slam with a DDT for another two count. Ziggler with a victory roll for two. Another Fame-Asser attempt, but Swagger throws him down and the Patriot Lock finishes at 4:08. **1/4 Solid effort that moved along effortlessly considering how fast-paced this was. Ziggler deserves better, but he knows how to make someone look good with his bumping.

- Highlights of Alexander Rusev's hype videos. He debuted on Raw, where he squashed Zack Ryder in 90-seconds. Other than Lana's gorgeous legs, he did nothing for me. I might as well watch Rocky IV if I want to see a silent foreigner managed by a trash-talking blonde "Russian" woman... and he's going to be in action, NEXT...

- Bo Dallas "Impossible is really I'm Possible" hype video. BOLIEVE! Nice to see some NXT stars being allowed time with these hype videos before throwing them out there.

Sin Cara vs. Alexander Rusev (w/ Lana):

Yes, they're actually introducing his valet as "The Ravishing Russian." I don't think Sin Cara has much chance here... and I actually forgot to list him in the Andre The Giant Battle Royale, so goes to show how important he is. Sin Cara avoids a charge and hits an enziguri. Rusev shrugs it off and levels him with a jumping side kick. Where's Eric Bischoff to call these moves?! T-Bone into a Rock Bottom, and he finishes with the "Accolade" (a camel clutch) at the 50-second mark. Eh. Whatever. Rusev's going to last 2-3 months before being placed into midcard limbo unless they drastically alter his appearance and/or personality (as in GIVE HIM ONE. He's boring looking, and looks as if he doesn't give a shit. He needs a better finisher, too. Really, A CAMEL CLUTCH, IN 2014?!)

Final Thoughts: We kicked off the episode with an OUTSTANDING 6-Man Tag Team Match, which complete with introductions and the post-match interview, lasted over 30-minutes in a broadcast that ran just a bit over 50. We padded out the show with a solid outing between Ziggler and Swagger, a quick squash to showcase Rusev, and hype videos for NXT stars Bo Dallas and Adam Rose. You couldn't have asked for a better episode of WWE Main Event. If you're a subscriber to the Network, give this episode a look. You can Bolieve in me.

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