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WWE Main Event - January 9, 2013

by Scrooge McSuck

W - Last week on WWE Main Event, Antonio Cesaro successfully defended the United States Championship against the Great Khali, and Wade Barrett ran the gauntlet of such intimidating opposition such as Yoshi Tatsu, JTG, and Justin Gabriel before a surprise entrance from Kofi Kingston ruined the fun.

- Taped on January 8th, 2013 from Miami, FL, home of last year's WrestleMania. Michael Cole and the Miz are calling the action. I'm wishing Miz was working commentary as a heel. He was much more tolerable at that point.

- Sheamus Hype Video, followed by an interview. I want to say his goofy persona reminds me of someone, but I honestly can't put my finger on it. Maybe it'll come to me, randomly, in a few. weeks. Josh Mathews cuts off Dolph Ziggler for an interview, but Big. E. Langston interrupts, stuttering to get his two lines through. Um... maybe he should go back to NXT and work on his mic' skills, and find a better finisher then dropping someone on top of him while falling on his back.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ A.J. & Big E. Langston):

This is pretty thrown-together at random. Will Ziggler EVER cash that Briefcase in for his Championship match? Lockup into the ropes, and we get a clean break. Ziggler grabs a waistlock, but Sheamus counters with a drop toe hold and grabs a front facelock. Sheams continues to work the arm and randomly goes for a cover for two. Ziggler connects with a dropkick and pounds away in the corner. Sheamus shrugs it off and lays Ziggler out with a forearm. Sheamus with a deep, deep power slam, followed by a leg drop for a two count. Into the corner, Sheamus continues working the arm. Ziggler boots him off, but Sheamus is too strong. Whip to the ropes, and Sheamus throws Ziggler up in the air and covers for a two count. Have I mentioned how much I wish A.J. would be taken off television? Whip to the ropes, Ziggler goes for the Fameasser, but Sheamus avoids it. Brogue Kick attempt, also side-stepped, and we go to break.

We come back, with Ziggler stomping away. Sheamus turns the tides, pounding away and connecting with a rolling senton for a two count. Whip to the ropes and Ziggler comes back with a swinging neck breaker, followed by a Rude Awakening style for a two count. Ziggler puts the boots to him as the camera continues to to capture the only thing A.J. can do properly: look annoying. Oh hey, look, there she is again. Ziggler with a dive into the corner, and it's chinlock time. There's A.J. again. Then again. Hey, director, can we get another shot of A.J? We just can't get enough... oh, sorry, there she is again, just in case we forgot who she is. And there she is again. And again. Oh, tilt your head, show that personailty that deserve all the television time you get. Sheamus fights back, and A.J. is concerned... I think. Ziggler thwarts that comeback though, tripping Sheamus into the ropes and connecting with a dropkick for two. Back to the chinlock, allowing 69 more shots of A.J. and 2 of Langston, because A.J. = Ratings. All those 2.3's are really something to brag about. Sheamus fights free again, but takes a knee to the midsection. Ziggler with a jumping elbow drop for two. What's the point of having valet's/bodyguards when they actively do NOTHING to generate heat? Yell at a fan, slap the canvas, DO SOMETHING. My God, it's Heat Generating 101. You're a heel, act like it.

Sheamus with charging axehandles, followed by a running knee lift. Ziggler avoids White Noise, but takes a knee on the apron and it's time to club him across the chest. Sheamus with a diving shoulder off the apron. Sheamus tries a slingshot back in the ring, but Ziggler avoids it, slamming him face-first into the canvas for two. Slugfest, and Sheamus with a sidewalk slam for two. Ziggler counters White Noise, but Sheamus grabs the legs and locks on the Cloverleaf. Fortunately for Ziggler, he's close to the ropes, forcing the break. Ziggler to the top rope, and he connects with a missile dropkick for two. Sheamus somehow powers himself up to the top rope, like skinning the cat, but Ziggler surprises him with a DDT. That only gets two. Ziggler goes for the Fameasser again, but its countered with a spinebuster. Sheamus to the top with another shoulder tackle, and that gets two. Sheamus gives the signal for the Brogue Kick, but misses. Super Kick misses. Brogue Kick connects, but it sends Ziggler to the floor. Sheamus, like a goof, goes to throw Ziggler back in the ring, but decides against it, rolls back in, and wins by COUNT OUT at 17:35 (minus the commercial). We tease a confrontation between Sheamus and Big Scary Dude, but nothing happens. Wow, easy pickings for the big scary villain to beat up a worn down babyface, and he runs away like a scared little pussy. That's really going to help get him over. Decent match, but focusing the camera on waste of time outside of the ring interrupts the attention span to keep your mind on the match itself.

- Last Monday on Raw, CM Punk and The Rock have their face-to-face to build up to their match at Royal Rumble. It was actually quite a good segment, although Rock seemed off at times, and the Cookie Puss reference was REALLY way out of left field. Either way, I'm looking forward to the Rumble. Hopefully some way, CM Punk will retain.

Zack Ryder vs. Wade Barrett (IC Champion):

Barrett vs. Ryder, again. Lockup, Barrett grabs an armbar. Ryder counters, and a waistlock takes it to the corner. Barrett with elbows and a snapmare for two. Whip to the corner, and a charge meets an elbow. Ryder with an arm drag, and back to the armbar. Criss-cross and Barrett takes Ryder down with a superkick to the stomach. Barrett with a pumphandle slam for two. Ryder offers a comeback and takes Barrett down with a one-man flapjack for two. Front facelock applied, because doing a bunch of restholds on a 5-minute television match is really something that's necessary. Barrett sends Ryder to the apron and hangs him across the top rope as we take a break. We come back with Barrett choking Ryder across the ropes, then sending him back to the floor with a running boot. Ryder makes his comeback, hits the boot, but guess what, it doesn't win the match for him. He goes for... something, but gets dropped onto the top rope. Bull Hammer connects, and it's over at 8:45, minus the commercial break. That was pretty boring. The second match should definitely be a 3-minute squash and something to hype up the next week's main event.

Next Week: Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro. Yes, more time to build that epic program between Cesaro and Miz no one with the tiniest bit of intelligence wants to see.

Final Thoughts: Didn't care too much for it this week. Technically, Sheamus/Ziggler was a good match, but other forces prevented me from enjoying it. The secondary match between Barrett/Ryder has been done plenty of times already, and every time, I keep saying "decent, if not a bit boring." Ryder is as bland as bland gets in the ring, and Barrett' unique offensive style is not something to compliment it. If you missed it this week, don't fret. It wasn't worth watching to begin with.

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