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Coliseum Video: WWF World Tour (1991)

by Scrooge McSuck

- Pardon the lack of a full introduction. Looking at it on paper, I'm not looking forward to this one, but you never know, maybe there'll be some stuff that will catch my attention. Incase you've missed the previous reviews, the World Tour series is a random collection of matches pulled from the WWF library, most of them from overseas tours, others not, and slapped onto a VHS tape and a $80 sticker thrown on it. This tape was released sometime during the Summer of '91, so most of the matches are pulled from the Spring.

The Rockers (w/ Andre The Giant) vs. The Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji):

(Marty Jannetty & Shawn Michaels vs. Kato & Tanaka)
From the UK Rampage '91 broadcasted in the (you guessed it) the United Kingdom on April 24th, 1991. Andre's appearance alongside the Rockers seems so random. Kato starts with a side headlock on Michaels, followed by a shoulder block, then a second helping of the same routine. Criss-cross sequence, Michaels nearly blows the spot, and puts both Express members down with slams. Simultanious atomic drops and clotheslines clears the ring. Sloppy exchange, for the most part. Jannetty slaps on a hammerlock, then takes Kato down with a drop toe hold. Kato escapes a front facelock to apply a hammerlock, then puts Jannetty down with a slam. Tanaka tags in, and misses a splash. Irish whip and double diving elbow from the Rockers for a two count. Tanaka goes to work on the arm, and Kato does more of the same. Kato misses the charge to the corner, and it's time to have his arm worked over. We get heel miscommunication in the corner, and Jannetty connects with a dropkick on Kato for a two count. Tanaka runs into an arm drag and gets worked over as well. Jannetty with another arm drag, then back to the armbar. Kato tags in, and falls victim to the arm drag/armbar combo, too. Michaels gets yanked down by the hair from the apron, and it's time for the Orient Express to work him over with such devestating moves as kicking and choking. Tanaka tags in, and quickly slaps on a chinlock. They manage to blow a fake hot tag spot, as Kato applies his version of the chinlock. The difference? Kato uses the knee for added leverage. Tanaka back in, and back to the chinlock. Michaels escapes, but Tanaka connects with his twisting diving forearm for a two count. Tanaka with the leap frog splash across the back for another two count. Michaels nails both Express members with clotheslines, and Jannetty FINALLY gets the hot tag. Jannetty hammers away on both men, then follows it up with slams. Irish whip and an elbow to Kato for a two count. Jannetty with a snapmare, but he takes a cane shot coming off the ropes. Andre gives Fuji a mean right hand, whacks Kato with the cane, and the Rockers with their double fist drop for the victory at 13:00. A complete paint-by-numbers match, which doesn't necessarily make it bad, just under-whelming. Hot finish, at least. I'd rather watch their opener from the 1991 Royal Rumble, instead.

Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart vs. The Warlord:

Also pulled from the UK Rampage show held on April 24th, 1991, and excuse me while I attempt to drown myself in the toilet. I can't imagine the thought process behind making this match a possibility. The Hart Foundation was practically split up at this point, but Neidhart still has the tights, and the Warlord was in a never-ending program with Davey Boy Smith, who no doubt was in a higher profile match on the card that night. Shoving match to start, and this must be the opener, because the crowd is HOT. Neidhart slaps on a headlock, and hangs on with a handful of facial hair. They do the shoulder block spot until Neidhart sends Warlord out of the ring with a diving version. Neidhart, as the power man of a balanced tag team, I enjoyed. Neidhart, the singles wrestler, not so much. Back inside, and Warlord wants a test-of-strength. Piper offers wrestling advice as we get some more stalling. Warlord goes for a cheap shot, but Neidhart blocks, and do the "Warlord can't reach with his stubby arms" spot before being tripped. Vince McMahon said something about more momentum, but it sounded like he said "warm lemonade." Don't ask. Warlord takes control, knocking Anvil out of the ring with a clothesline. Back inside, and Warlord with his slow, basic crap, before clamping on a bearhug. Neidhart somehow escapes going for a sunset flip, but Warlord blocks. Whip to the corner, and Neidhart charges into a boot. Warlord changes up his resting, this time going with a chinlock. Neidhart with shoulders to the midsection, but another boot stops his momentum. Warlord goes back to his clubberin' and another chinlock as the crowd rallies behind the Anvil. Irish whip, and Neidhart turns the tide slamming Warlord face first into the canvas. Irish whip, and Neidhart with a forearm, followed by a clothesline for a two count. Neidhart with mounted punches in the corner, and a second rope axehandle for another two count. Neidhart goes for a splash, but meets the knees. Warlord misses a charge to the corner, and Neidhart school boys him for the three count at 13:31. That long for that finish? Not as atrociously bad as the repuation it has gotten suggests, but still boring as all hell.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) vs. "The Model" Rick Martel:

Taped on March 26th, 1991, from Las Vega, NV. This is the Fan Favorite Match, and Savage's participation is explained as completing his contractual obligations. Nice nod, and perfectly acceptable. The WWF did that bit again in 1998 when Marc Mero "quit" following a loss to Gillberg, but still competed on the Capital Carnage UK PPV later in the week. The Model basically did job duty for the remainder of 1991, before being taken off television until the beginning of the new year. Martel with a sneak attack at the bell, and some over-exaggerated heel antics. Savage takes Martel over with a back drop, followed by a big clothesline. Savage to the top, and he comes down with a double axehandle. Martel rolls out of the ring, and avoids a second attempt, causing Savage to crash into the rail. Martel keeps Savage out of the ring long enough for a dozen count-outs. Savage recovers to nail Martel from behind, and weakly rams him into the ring post. Martel practically no-sells, and quickly knocks Savage back out of the ring. Back inside, and Martel with a slam, followed by some choking. Savage with a small package out of nowhere, but Martel gets up first and takes him down with a clothesline. Whip to the corner, and Martel misses a blind body press. Savage with a snap suplex for a two count. Savage with an atomic drop, followed by a clothesline, knocking Martel through the ropes. Savage follows, and connects with a piledriver on the arena's (padded) floor. Savage tosses Martel back in, climbs the ropes, and comes crashing down with the flying elbow, and that's more than enough for the three count at 6:02. Felt like a random Superstars or Challenge feature match. It was short, but felt longer because it just didn't have much of anything worth getting excited about. I think Rick Martel as the Model might be the greatest example of a gimmick sapping the talent out of someone's performances.

- Etiquette with Lord Alfred Hayes, Sensational Sherri, and the Brooklyn Brawler. The latter two do disgusting stuff the entire time while Hayes attempts to play it straight. A complete waste of time, much like almost all of these Coliseum Video exclusive vignettes.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. "Million $ Man" Ted Dibiase (w/ Sensational Sherri):

Coliseum Video EXCLUSIVE from Cedar Rapids, IA, originally taped on April 16th, 1991. Piper had been coaching Virgil for his encounter with Ted Dibiase at WrestleMania VII, then took a shit-kicking to kick off their own program, which never really went anywhere in terms of television blowoff or development. Dibiase has a crutch with him, no doubt symbolic of the attack done on Piper. Piper pounds away wildly to start and sends Dibiase to all the corners of the ring. Piper with a knee lift, then Sherri gets dragged into the ring and gets a kiss for her attempted interference. Piper with more lefts and rights until Sherri trips Piper up, allowing Dibiase some easy shots. Irish whip, and Piper slams Dibiase face-first into the canvas. Dibiase sweeps the leg, but gets kicked off into Sherri, and Piper covers for a two count. Whip to the corner, and Piper eats boot on a charge attempt. Dibiase traps Piper in the tree of woe, and pounds away on the "injured" knee. Dibiase uses the crutch behind the back of the referee, then tears away on the bandages under Piper's knee pad. Dibiase continues working over the knee and snapmares Piper over. Dibiase with a step-over toe hold, but Piper kicks Dibase back into the corner to escape. Dibiase comes off the second rope and takes a fist to the midsection for it. Piper manages to get hold of the crutch and whacks Dibiase's knee, also behind the referee's back. Dibiase sells it like his leg is broken. Piper rams the knee of Dibiase into the canvas several times, then applies his own toe hold. Sherri runs in, in plain view of the refere, but Piper takes her down, then uses the crutch on everyone walking until the bell rings at 6:47, giving the win by Disqualification to... Ted Dibiase. Whatever. Watchable, but nothing worth checking out.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Earthquake (w/ Jimmy Hart):

A Coliseum Video exclusive, also taped in Cedar Rapids, IA on April 16th, 1991. I'm not sure on the timeline, but I don't think the squashing of Damien had been done yet, in television time when this match was originally recorded. Earthquake attacks before the bell, but Roberts quickly rocks the big man with a knee lift. Roberts goes for the arm, but Earthquake shrugs it off with clubbin' blows. Roberts must love the "if at first you don't succeed..." mentality. Lord Alfred talks about the camera work. Camera talk = bored broadcaster. Whip to the corner, and Quake plows through Roberts with a shoulder. The crowd seems quite empty of life considering the participants. Damn those marathon television tapings. Quake continues using his size to his advantage and stomps Roberts out of the ring. Alfred talking about Jimmy Hart's jackets = even more bored. Quake goes for "Lucifer", but Roberts makes the save (?). Back in the ring, and Roberts with another knee lift, followed by a short-arm clothesline. Roberts goes for the DDT, but Quake surprisingly counters. That was sarcasm, by the way. Quake drops a pair of elbows across the knee, then grapevines the leg. That just seems quite weird to see Earthquake do. Roberts collapses on an attempted whip to the corner, allowing Earthquake to drop another elbow on him. Quake with the tremors, but Roberts rolls out of the ring... about damn time someone did that. Quake goes for the bag again, this time bringing into the center of the ring. Quake goes to drop ass on it, but Roberts trips him up from the outside. Roberts unleashes Lucifer (looking a lot like Damien), and suddenly the bell rings at 7:37, a DISQUALIFICATION victory in favor of Earthquake? How the fuck is that possible for two matches in a row to have equally retarded finishes? Match was boring and featured very little action, on top of a ridiculously stupid finish. "What an exclusive feature" indeed, Sean Mooney.

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect:

Copy and Paste from the March 17th, 1991 Primetime review. Lockup to start, with no one gaining control. Michaels with a go-behind waistlock, but Perfect escapes with a well placed elbow to the face. Perfect with a hammerlock, but Michaels escapes and knocks the taste out of Perfect's mouth. They talk trash and slug it out, with Michaels gaining the upper-hand. Perfect rolls out of the ring, so Michaels follows with a suicide dive, catching part of the security rail on the way down. OUCH! He doesn't seem phased though, and continues to pound away on Hennig. Perfect fights back and drops Michaels across the security rail, which brings Marty Jannetty to the ring to check on his partner. So much for banning Jannetty and Heenan from the ring. We return from an edit with Perfect "hammering" away on Michaels. Perfect with a standing dropkick for a two count. Perfect works Michaels over in the corner, then whips him to the opposite side. Michaels does his usual "flip up the corner, land on the apron spot", and gets clotheslined off for his troubles. Perfect maintains the advantage and tells Jannetty off for being a stupid punk. Perfect with a snapmare, followed by his float-over neck snap for a two count. Perfect continues to pound away, but Michaels boots him in the face, complete with over-sell. Perfect keeps putting the preasure on Michaels, though, and slaps on a sleeper hold. Michaels fights back to his feet and escapes with a jaw buster. Michaels hits the ropes, but runs right into a knee. Perfect takes a cheap shot at Jannetty, so Jannetty retaliates. Where's the Disqualification?! This brings Heenan down to the ring, no doubt still gloating about pinning Jannetty at the '89 Survivor Series. Perfect rolls outside to send Jannetty into the ring post, but Michaels catches him coming back in and crotches him across the top rope. Michaels with an atomic drop, followed by a clothesline for a two count. Irish whip, and Michaels with the pre-named Sweet Chin Music for another two count. Irish whip is reversed, but Michaels takes Perfect down with a swinging neck breaker. Michaels to the top rope, but he has to fight off a distraction from the Brain. Perfect takes control again and quickly traps him in the Perfect-Plex, but the Big Boss Man hits the ring and attacks Perfect, drawing the Disqualification at 10:23. He easily clears Perfect from the ring, then celebrates with the Rockers. Did they really need to protect Shawn Michaels here? Clearly the best match on the whole tape, and it happens to be recycled from one of their television broadcasts that this could've easily been recorded from for free.

"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Kendo Nagasaki:

Pulled from one of those WWF / SWS Supercards held in Tokyo, Japan on March 30th, 1991, with Mooney and Lord Alfred on commentary. This is about as weird as the inclusion of Giant Machine vs. Tatsumi Fujinami on the 16th best of the WWF video... I have no knowledge of Nagasaki, and am unsure of it's the same guy I've seen on the Mid 80's Championship Wrestling from Florida footage I've come across. Lockup to start, and Duggan gives a clean break. Lockup, and Duggan with a side headlock, followed by shoulders to the midsection and a hip toss. They trade blows until Duggan tosses Nagasaki over the top rope and stomps him down. Another slugfest and Duggan goes back to the headlock. Nagasaki tries to toss Duggan out, but Duggan blocks and dumps Nagasaki over the top rope, again. Back in the ring, and Duggan clotheslines Nagasaki over the top rope. If this were a Royal Rumble Match, Duggan would've won several times by now. Back in the ring, and Nagasaki with a knee to the midsection, followed by a crescent kick for the three count at 2:52. That's it?! Believe me, I'm not complaining that I don't have to sit through any more, but that seemed like a pretty sloppy match, and Duggan at times seemed uninterested in making Nagasaki look good.

Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior vs. The Undertaker, Sgt. Slaughter, Gen. Adnan (w/ Paul Bearer):

Final match featured on the 1991 World Tour, and it's pulled from the Las Vegas TV Taping that also featured the earlier encounter between Savage and Martel. I love Adnan's participation, because it leaves zero doubt who's doing the job in this one. I'd say I'd rather see this than the trio consisting of Col. Mustafa (the Iron Sheik). I think in 1991, it was a standard production note to show close-ups of "scared" children (or wussy adult men) as the Undertaker made his way to the ring. Slaughter tries a sneak attack, but gets worked over by the Mega Ultimate Maniacs. Hogan takes a cheap shot at the Undertaker, then a double big boot puts Slaughter down. Warrior tags in and takes shots at everyone. Slaughter manages to take Hogan down with a clothesline, then Undertaker tags in and chokes the WWF Champion down. Too bad there was no Suburban Commando cross-over for these two. Slaughter tags back in, and Hogan sends him flying over the top rope. Undertaker cuts off a tag attempt, allowing some double team efforts from "two sides of the triangle of terror." Hogan manages to wipe Slaughter out, AGAIN, and Warrior gets the "hot" tag. Warrior takes Slaughter over with a back drop, and nails everyone with clotheslines. Undertaker tags in, nails Warrior with a headbutt, then comes off the ropes with a flying clothesline. Warrior gets choked out in the heel corner, and this goes on for a while. Undertaker dares to use the front facelock, false hot tag spot, but can't even apply the hold properly. Slaughter puts Warrior down with a slam, but shockingly misses a splash. Hogan gets the REAL hot tag (to nearly no pop), and works Slaughter over, again. Hogan with a big boot and school boy for a two count, broken up by the 'Taker. Slaughter with a sucky short-arm clothesline, and weak stomps to the back. Camel Clutch time, and Undertaker added extra leverage until Warrior makes the save. Warrior takes Undertaker off the apron and brawls with him back to the locker room. Hogan avoids heel miscommunication, tosses Saughter from ringside, and pins Adnan at 9:51. Seriously, not even a Hulk-Up, or a leg drop?! Match blew, and makes the SummerSlam '91 version look like a masterpiece.

Final Thoughts: While not as bad of a tape as I had anticipated it being, it's clearly not something I would recommend. The highlight of the tape is something pulled from an episode of Primetime Wrestling, and the only positives I can say about anything else includes the phrases "paint-by-numbers" and "watchable." The "main event" of the tape is atrocious, and nearly half of the tape is filled with head scratchers and overall poor quality matches. If you're that desperate to see a *** match between Hennig and Michaels, have at it, otherwise, pass.

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