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WWF SuperTape (Vol. 4)
by Scrooge McSuck
- Usually when I do a series of shows, tapes, or whatever, I try and follow through with them all within a reasonable time, but Supertape Vol. 3 was just so soul crushing, I just haven't had it in me anymore to follow through and finish the series off with Vol. 4 and the unofficial 5th version simply titled "Supertape '92." I'll try and put on a happy face and make it through this tape, knowing that once I'm finished with this, only one tape remains, and at least that has some good quality crap on.
As with the previous installment of the Supertape series, out host is the enchanting Sean Mooney, who seems to be stuck in a Fairytale. Some shmuck sends him on his way with a VHS for the latest in the Supertape series, a packaged lunch, and a professional driver to take him to the Coliseum Video headquarters... and yes, the driver of the van is Lord Alfred Hayes himself, who denies Mooney's access of food for he does not want to have crumbs everywhere on his backseat. What a douche. Sean Mooney was just a little hungry. I'd hate to see how Ken Patera would've reacted to being denied some eatery.
WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
Mr. Perfect © vs. "The Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich:
Wait a minute... am I in a rerun or something? Didn't Supertape Vol. 3 open up with a match between Perfect and Von Erich over the Intercontinental Title. That match was from the Maple Leaf Gardens, making it somewhat worth a damn to watch for the rarity, but this is a Coliseum EXCLUSIVE, meaning 7-hour tv taping dark match. Yay. We're coming to you from West Palm Beach, FL, a few weeks after the Survivor Series, so in television time, Perfect still had not won the title back. Perfect attacks before the bell, sending Tornado out of the ring with a clothesline. Tornado pulls Perfect out of the ring and cleans his clock with roundhouse rights. Perfect re-enters the ring and is tossed right back out. Back in the ring, and Tornado works the arm. Whip to the corner, and Tornado with a tornado punch to the midsection, then slaps on a Boston Crab. Tornado remains in control, and slaps on the CLAW~!, but Perfect thumbs the eyes to escape. Perfect with a sleeper hold applied, but Tornado (eventually) escapes, but Perfect blocks the discuss punch and clobbers Tornado with a right of his own. Whip to the corner is reversed, but Tornado makes contact with the ring post. Perfect seems to have a hard time removing one of the turnbuckle pads, but it's all for naught, as Tornado blocks it and knocks Perfect out of the ring. Tornado feels the wrath of steel again, wrapping his arm around it going for the discuss punch. Back inside, and Perfect rams the Tornado face-first into the post. That's arm, shoulder, hand, for those keeping a BINGO on Tornado/Steel Post Moves. Perfect with the Perfect-Plex, but Tornado kicks out at two. ZUH?! Irish whip, and Tornado clamps on the claw hold, again. Perfect uses the referee to break the hold, and the discuss punch hits AGAIN, but the referee is dazed, and only manages a count of two. I'm shocked it wasn't called a DQ. Tornado with ANOTHER discuss punch, and suddenly the bell rings at 7:44, and it IS a DQ victory for the Texas Tornado. Um... why count a pin attempt, then call for the Disqualification? Was it a "last chance pin attempt" or something? Is that like trying to score a goal in hockey before the other team touches the puck for the penalty to kick in? Stupid finish to a dull match.
Tito Santana vs. Koko B. Ware:
Pulled from the January 21st, 1991 card held at Madison Square Garden, and it's face vs. face.... or so we're going to believe. I remember doing a crappy review of that card back in the day and have been tempted to revisit it someday, but we're here, right now, to focus on a battle of JTTS. The originally commentary with Sean Mooney and Bobby Heenan are left intact, which means a bunch of jokes about Frankie and Tito Santana to keep me laughing. Handshake to start. Lockup into the ropes and a clean break. Santana with an arm drag, and Koko returns the favor. Santana with a waistlock takedown, but Koko escapes, and we get another handshake. Koko with a takedown, and Santana escapes. They trade wristlocks and hammerlocks, and Santana takes Koko over with a snapmare. Koko complains about a hair pull. Santana with a side headlock, followed by a shoulder block. Koko takes Santana down with a hip toss, but misses an elbow drop, and Santana takes him over with another arm drag. Trash talking and shoves, and the referee yells at them for it. Koko offers a left-handed shake, and sucker punches Santana to the surprise of... well, no one really cares. Koko pounds away and takes Santana down with a clothesline, then tosses him out of the ring. Mild "Tito" chant as Koko keeps Santana from returning to the ring. "They don't make enough Rolaids to get you out of Tocula healthy." Santana fights back with forearms, but Koko counters a monkey flip with an atomic drop, then drops an elbow for a two count. Koko channels the spirit of Haku, slapping on a nerve pinch, then drops ass across the neck of Santana. Koko kicks Santana around like a punk, to my amusement, then nails him with a pair of slaps and roundhouse rights. They continue to slug it out until Koko puts Santana down with a slam. Koko to the top rope, and he misses a fist drop. Santana with rights and a pair of slams, followed by an atomic drop. Irish whip, and Santana comes off the ropes with the flying forearm for the three count at 10:11. Coliseum Video cuts away from Koko attempting to make peace with Tito, but getting snubbed for it. Good match, worth checking out on various online sources. Koko desperately needed a heel turn, or anything to make him interesting again. I guess there's no confidence in a 5'9" heel in the era of Undertaker's and Warlord's running around.
- It's time for a very special segment called "From the Mat to the Mike" highlighting the careers of various WWF performers, such as Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper, and Randy Savage, who've made the transition from the ring to calling the action. The downside is two of the three were actively wrestling again months after this tape was released, and maintained active in-ring careers for well over a decade each. Oh, and Gene Okerlund is showcased, with clips from that awful match with Hulk Hogan against George Steele and Mr. Fuji. That was a waste of 5-minutes.
Tugboat vs. The Undertaker (w/ Brother Love):
This might be from the same television taping as the match between Tornado and Perfect. Tugboat's usefulness has officially run out, as he's relegated to be the designated bitch of the Undertaker on the house show circuit leading up to WrestleMania VII. I don't have faith in this being good, but before discovering a couple of other matches between the two from various sources, I thought it was nifty because it wasn't a typical match, like Perfect/Tornado, that's been done to death. Lockup and a shove barely budges Tugboat. Undertaker with a headlock, and a shoulder block does nothing. Tugboat gives it a try with very mild success. They fuck up an Irish whip, and Undertaker chokes. Criss-cross sequence is blown, with Undertaker accidentally landing a forearm across the shoulder. Undertaker takes Tugboat out of the corner with a snapmare, but misses an elbow drop. Irish whip, and Tugboat with a clothesline, followed by a back elbow. Undertaker rolls out of the way of an elbow drop and hammers away. Undertaker chokes away in the corner, but misses a charge. Tugboat goes for a slam, but Undertaker's leverage puts Tugboat down for a two count. ZUH?! Undertaker with headbutts to the back, and this is just dragging ass. Undertaker goes old school, but Tugboat throws him off! I noticed 'Taker's gray socks have fallen from around his boots. Someone needs some Supertape to keep those things on. Irish whip, and Tugboat with a powerslam. Undertaker is up first and is put down with a kick to the face. Undertaker avoids a charge, climbs the ropes, and comes off with a forearm across the chest for the three count at 5:45. That felt a lot longer than 5-minutes. Dull and incredibly sloppy, with blown spots for the most simple of exchanges.
Shawn Michaels (w/ Marty Jannetty) vs. Demolition Crush (w/ Mr. Fuji):
C&P from my review of the February 18th, 1991 episode of Prime Time Wrestling, since my opinion on something like this will never change, especially only a few months later. I find it odd that Smash isn't present at ringside, since this was obviously done at a Wrestling Challenge taping. They lockup and Crush hammers away on Michaels. Irish whip to the corner by Crush, but he misses an elbow. Michaels mounts Crush for a series of punches and connects with the reverse crescent kick followed by a series of clotheslines and a diving shoulder tackle. They brawl outside the ring and Crush hammers away on him some more. Crush attempts a gorilla press slam, but Michaels escapes it and connects with a hurricanrana. Crush walks into a drop toe hold of Michaels and Shawn applies a front face lock. Crush battles back up to his feet and catches Michaels in his famous Tilt-o-Whirl back breaker followed by an over head back breaker for an early two count. Crush continues to hammer away on Michaels and he applies the bear-hug. Michaels takes a moment to sell then fights his way free. Irish whip is reversed by Crush and he sends Michaels into the corner which he sells like he's Bret Hart with a nasty thud. Crush applies a body scissors in the middle of the ring and he must be winded already. Crush releases the hold and connects with a massive back breaker. Crush heads to the top rope to finish Michaels off, but he misses the knee drop and now both men are down. Michaels works the leg with kicks and attempts a high cross body press, but Crush catches him. The referee is distracted as Jannetty comes off the top rope to give Michaels enough leverage to land on top of Crush for the cover, and that actually gets the three count at 7:18. Nothing special here, but it was decent enough. I like the rarity of seeing a singles match like this, but at the same time, I probably would've prefered a match between the two teams, instead. It might not have been much better, but I've always prefered tag team matches compared to singles when it comes to throw-away junk like this.
The Legion of Doom vs. The Orient Express & Mr. Fuji:
(Hawk & Animal vs. Kato, Tanaka, and Mr. Fuji)
Pulled from the television taping that took place January 7th, 1991 from Huntsville, AL. In a useless information moment, when Jack Tunney "limited" Demolition to two members, he also stated Fuji would fill in as the replacement partner for any matches that required such substitution... it never factored into television, but here we go. I guess it's better than another LOD/(New) Demolition match. I know it's been pointed out countless times, but don't you love a "Japanese" team that consists of a masked Croatian and a dude from Hawaii. Fuji wastes time with his "ceremonial salt", and then we play a game of "hide the salt" to add drama to the match. Kato and Animal start, and Animal overpowers him, to the surprise of no one. Kato rakes the eyes, but gets thrown across the ring a second time. We play a game of cat-and-mouse, allowing Kato some token offense. Irish whip, and Animal wit a powerslam. Tanaka runs in and gets tossed about ten feet into the air, and the ring is cleared. Hawk and Tanaka have a go at it now. Hawk with a headlock, followed by a shoulder block. Kato trips Hawk up, allowing Tanaka to attack from behind. Hawk no-sells the double team and sends Kato out of the ring with a clothesline, where Animal greets him with his own clothesline. Animal over powers Tanaka and takes him out with a clothesline. Things finally turn around, as Fuji gives Animal a pinch of salt, unconcerned about the cholesterol problem in the country. The Express work Animal over briefly (and I mean briefly), but a double clothesline puts both men down. Hawk gets the tag, and cleans house. Tanaka has over-sold the clothesline at least three times now. Kato gets double teamed, and the Doomsday Device ends the match at 8:00. Well... that sucked. Total squash for the LOD, and Fuji never even factored into the match. It's like that Coliseum Video exclusive with the LOD and Paul Ellering fighting the Beverly Brothers and the Genius, but both managers only had about 5 seconds worth of interaction. What's the point?!
- "Gourmet" Cooking Tips, with Mean Gene Okerlund and... the Bushwhackers. Why?!?! Their expertise' in cooking includes blowing snot into their mashed potatoes, and getting gassy from eating Brocolli. Then, somehow, they reuse footage from the FIRST Supertape, with Gene dressing up like a Bushwhacker while they do some barbeque, and then we return to "new" footage to finally put an end to this nonsense. WHY MUST I BE FORSAKEN WITH BUSHWHACKERS!?!
Big Bossman vs. Earthquake (w/ Jimmy Hart):
It's time for the Coliseum Profile on a random WWF Superstar/Tag Team, and this time it's none other than the man from Cobb County, GA himself, the Big Bossman! This one is pulled from the Maple Leaf Gardens, originally held on September 16th, 1990. Bossman charges the ring and scares away Quake with his nightstick. Listening to an record of Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred could cure insomnia. Stalling, and finally a lockup, won by Earthquake. Lockup and repeat. Mooney references the WBF in regards to Earthquake's physique. Bossman slaps on a headlock and jerks Quake around. Quake goes for a hair pull, but that doesn't work on the buzzcut of the Bossman. Bossman uses his speed to avoid Quake's Bull Charge. Quake traps Bossman in the corner and puts him down with a slam, but misses an elbow flop. Bossman heads outside to chase Jimmy Hart around, then returns to the ring to hammer away on the Quake. Bossman avoids a charge and trips Earthquake up for a two count. Earthquake is back in control, though, and puts Bossman down with a clothesline. Earthquake remains in control, as Lord Alfred talks about the camera work. You know it's boring when Lord Alfred calls attention to the camera men. Quake with an early version of the Stinkface, suffocating Bossman in the corner with his backside. Earthquake sits down on the chest of the Bossman, who sells it like he had an anal evacuation. Quake with some bitch slaps, and Bossman responds with his own. Quake tosses Bossman down and drops an elbow, then steps across the chest, because he's fat. Quake with an atomic drop, then chokes across the middle rope. More stomping and walking all over Bossman, and it's just putting me to sleep. Bossman comes back with an enziguri, then comes off the ropes with a series of clotheslines, trapping Earthquake in the Andre the Giant Special ™. Bossman with a cross body across the midsection, then a shot to knock Jimmy Hart off the apron. Dino Bravo comes to ringside, distracting Bossman long enough for Earthquake to knock him down and drop an elbow for the three count at 10:06. Well, that sure as hell came out of nowhere. Tugboat makes the save before further punishment could be dished out to the Bossman, though. He also miss timed his run-in, as Quake was about to drop ass before Tugboat hit the ring, and just stopped before we even see Tugboat enter the view of the camera.
Big Bossman vs. Bobby "The Brain" Heenan:
Pulled from a television taping that took place shortly before the Survivor Series. Another series of matches that took place in direct response to a television angle, but never really factored into anything on television itself. Bossman was just kicking off a program with Rick Rude, over Rude insulting the Bossman's momma, but for whatever reason, Rude left the company, and it was explained on television that Jack Tunney suspended Rude, and that Bobby Heenan would fill all of Rude's obligations to face the Bossman. Heenan comes to the ring with a Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy (from Tonka), and it's a peace offering to the Bossman for some mercy. Bossman hits the ring, Heenan begs more, Bossman bitch slaps him with the doll, Heenan responds by smacking Bossman with the microphone, then Bossman lays out Heenan with a few blows with the nightstick. Bossman pulls out the handcuffs and pins Heenan for the "victory" at the 30-second mark. Suddenly, Haku hits the ring, but Bossman lays him out and cuffs Haku to Heenan. Now it's Mr. Perfect's turn to make the save, brawling with the Bossman long enough for Heenan and Haku to escape. No real match, but a decent payoff for the live crowds thanks to Rude's departure from the company.
Big Bossman vs. The Barbarian:
No. No. I'm not recaping this one, again. I swear, this match is the bane of my existance. It's pulled from the January 25th, 1991 show held at the Copps Coliseum, was featured on several Coliseum Videos, several broadcasts of Prime Time Wrestling, and has found it's way into at least FIVE recaps I have done, not including all the redos! Boss Man wins after about 10-minutes of "action", countering a blocked sunset flip with the second half of the move, then gets a beat down from Barbarian and Haku afterwards. What's with these profiles making the featured superstar(s) look like a chump?
WWF Championship Match:
The Ultimate Warrior © vs. Sgt. Slaughter (w/ Gen. Adnan):
Thankfully, it's the final match on this tape. Pulled from the January 7th, 1991 television taping, less than two weeks before the Royal Rumble PPV. I don't know why, but the first time I viewed this tape, THIS was the match I was most looking forward to. I'd say I was a dumb young mark, but I was 17 years old at the time, so chalk it up to not knowing any better, I guess. The bad thing about a match like this is there's no mystery to who's winning, since the title just changed hands recently, on one of the PPV's, and this is clearly not that match, yet Mooney and Hayes "have to" play stupid. Slaughter thumbs tthe eyes to start and "hammers" away in the corner. Whip to the corner is reversed, and Warrior sends Slaughter flying with a big roundhouse. Slaughter even catches his chin under the bottom rope for his troubles. Back in the ring, and Warrior with a slam and hip toss. Whip to the corner, and Slaughter bumps his way to the arena floor. Warrior shows no mercy, with a noggin-knocker to the evil foreign menaces. Back inside (again), and Warrior with chops before saying "Woo!" was appropriate. Warrior charges and eats post, then lands out of the ring, ripping off Slaughter's spot. Slaughter gently places the timekeepers table on top of Warrior, then even more weakly rams him face-first into it. Slaughter controls with punchy-kicky stuff. Whip to the corner, and Slaughter follows in with an elbow. Warrior mounts a mild comeback, taking Slaughter down with a clothesline, and sending him into the buckle with a slingshot. Warrior misses something, and both men act like they've just wrestled for an hour. Slaughter goes for a slam, but Warrior lands on top for a two count. Slaughter with a swinging neck breaker, and that gets a two count. Slaughter with a shitty back breaker for another two count, then works over the back and applies the Camel Clutch. Warrior's feet are in the ropes, so referee Earl/Dave Hebner forces a break. Warrior starts his seizure routine, no-selling Slaughter's offense. Warrior with a series of clotheslines, the diving shoulder tackle, and a splash to retain the championship at 9:27. Well, that wasn't very good, but I guess it could've been worse. The best part is that it's finally over.
- I forgot to mention the running gag with the in-between segments is that Lord Alfred Hayes, expert navigator, gets them lost, and things end up with them stranded in a swamp or a lake of piss, you make the call. Either way, I don't care, I'm just thankful this video is over with.
Final Thoughts: Let's start with the positives... there's a good match between Tito Santana and Koko B. Ware, a half-decent match between Shawn Michaels and Crush, and the stuff between Bossman and Heenan. The rest is either completely forgetable or just terrible. Warrior/Slaughter was a sloppy trainwreck, the 3-on-2 tag was an extended LOD squash with zero crowd enthusiasm, Bossman/Quake sucked, Bossman/Babarian sucked even more, and Tugboat/Undertaker proved that even an Irish whip can be botched. Twice. In the same 5 minute match. The "special segments" in between weren't any better. Not as bad as Supertape Vol. 3, but it's still craptastic.
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