The Twisted, Disturbed Life of Kane (Disc 3)
by Scrooge McSuck
- The final stop of the three disc set. To quickly recap, I, for the most part, enjoyed Disc 1, highlighting his beginnings, feud with the Undertaker, winning the World Title, and a decent enough feud with X-Pac. Disc 2, however, just snowballed into a giant mess and ended, finally with one of the last (well, for a while) of the stupid angles Kane was thrown into, that being his wonderful marriage angle with Lita, where she was to carry his demon seed.
- No Disqualification Match:
Shawn Michaels vs. Kane (w/ Lita):
From Unforgiven 2004, and one of the few bright spots for Kane for roughly a year. The night after Bad Blood, Kane attacked Shawn and crushed his throat with a steel chair, making it my favorite moment of the night, instantly. Kane was given an open contract for Unforgiven as a present from Eric Bischoff, but Lita signed it, using the whole "it's ours" crap excuse, and put Shawn's name in as Kane's opponent. Lockup to start, and Kane shoves Shawn into the corner and pounds away. Michaels with a knee lift and some chops, followed by a Lou Thesz Press and mounted punches. Shawn hammers away on Kane, knocking him out of the ring. Shawn misses a baseball slide, but avoids a clothesline, forcing Kane to wrap himself around the ring post. Back in the ring, and Shawn leaps right into an uppercut. Whip to the corner, and Kane follows in with a clothesline for an early near fall. Irish whip is reversed, and Kane plants Shawn with a scoop slam, but misses his jumping elbow. Shawn clotheslines Kane over the top, and skins the cat back into the ring. Kane and Lita have words, allowing Shawn to surprise Kane with a plancha. Kane throws Lita in front of himself and sucker punches Shawn to regain the advantage. Kane drops Shawn across the security wall and starts rearranging the furniture, a.k.a sets up the Spanish Announce Table for a high spot. Kane press slams Shawn onto the table, but it doesn't break. Kane follows up with a suplex, and that DOES break the table, for the record. Back in the ring, and Kane covers for a two count. It's no DQ, but not falls count anywhere, by the way. Kane stomps away and drops a leg across the chest of Michaels for another two count. Whip to the corner, with extra impact. Whip to the corner again, but this time Kane runs into a boot, but is still aware enough to catch Shawn with a side suplex, but again, only gets two. Kane applies a rear chinlock, but it doesn't kill too much time. Shawn fights free with elbows to the midsection, but gets caught in a choke lift and slammed back down to the canvas. Shawn fights free of another chinlock, but this time a clothesline kills his momentum. Shawn rolls through an atomic drop, and takes Kane down with a DDT. Shawn comes off the ropes with a diving forearm, and we all know what to expect... Kane sits up, and Shawn does his nip up spot as well, and hammers away on Kane. Whip to the corner is reversed, and Shawn flips himself over and out of the ring. Kane introduces Shawn to the ring steps, and now he's got a steel chair. In the mean time, we see Shawn has bladed. Back in the ring, and Shawn fights off the chair bashing attempt. Kane keeps knocking Shawn down, but can't keep him down. Irish whip, and Kane sends Shawn out of the ring with a back elbow. Kane puts Shawn's head against the ring post, but misses a boot attempt, wrapping his leg around it in the process. Back in the ring, and Shawn with several inverted atomic drops, followed by a lunging forearm. Shawn heads to the top rope, and he connects with a flying elbow. Shawn is seizuring-up, and it's time to tune up the band. When did the crowd begin counting along with it? Oh well, doesn't matter, Kane counters with a boot of his own, but that only gets a ttwo count. Kane heads to the top rope, and connects with his flying clothesline, but Shawn, surprisingly, doesn't take it very well. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Shawn nails him low to escape. Shawn's got the chair, and he bashes Kane across the skull with it, and both men are down again. Kane sits up first, and he goes for the chair, but Lita pulls it away from him. Shawn is back up on his feet, but misses sweet chin music. Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Shawn counters, and SWC connects on the third attempt, and that's enough for the three count at 18:03. **1/2 Surprisingly dull match, exactly the opposite from what I expect out of Michaels, but the main focus of the match seemed to be the stupid relationship between Kane and Lita, and that dominating the match really hurt my enjoyment of it.
- Kane vs. Snitsky:
From the January 17th, 2005 episode of Raw. Let's try and remember what lead to this moment. Sometime after Unforgiven, Kane and Lita actually began not hating each other's guts, but because of a unknown named Gene Snitsky knocking Kane on top of Lita, forcing her to lose the baby, Kane is out for revenge on the thing that ruined their lives. I should add that Lita was basically raped, in storylines, but we'll ignore that right now. Snitsky, I might add, is probably the goofiest wrestlers I've ever seen, and he was easily one of the worst workers in the company for pretty much his entire run. Kane was injured by Snitsky at Taboo Tuesday (a lame idea for a mid-week PPV where fans "pick" the matches), but returned to beat the tar out of him at the last PPV, New Years Revolution. So we get a free T.V. rematch here. Kane attacks Snitsky in the entrance area and the two brawl. Kane hangs Snitsky up on the security wall, and jumps off said wall with a flying clothesline. Into the ring, and Kane comes off the top rope with another clothesline. Kane calls for the end, but Snitsky rolls out of the ring. Snitsky bashes Kane with the bell, and rolls him back in the ring for a two count. Snitsky with a side suplex, and now he's got a weightlifter belt to smack across the back of Kane with. The crowd, in the mean time, is doing the wave. Snitsky = Not Over. Snitsky goes for something, but Kane back drops free, then nails Snitsky with a boot. Kane grabs a chair, but Snitsky boots Kane down and grabs the chair himself. Snitsky smacks a home run across the back of Kane, then wraps the chair around his neck, but Kane recovers in time to smack Snitsky off the top rope with the chair, knocking him to the outside. Kane with the belt, and he begins whipping Snitsky with it. The action heads up the ramp, and Kane slams Snitsky into the Raw set. Kane takes Snitsky to the edge of the ramp and chokeslams him off, onto a pile of rubble, and both men are KO'ed for a No Contest at around the 6:30 mark. 1/2* For a couple of spots, but a total mess, otherwise.
- Steel Cage Match:
Kane vs. Edge (w/ Lita):
From the July 18th, 2005 episode of Raw. Lita eventually turned HEEL on Kane (yeah, I know, this makes no sense), costing him a World Title shot in a Tournament Final against Edge (who, at the time, already held a free title shot with the Money in the Bank contract), and alligned herself with him in the process. Oh, and at the same time, in the real world, Lita and Edge had an affair that temporarily cost Matt Hardy his job, because he decided to make it public. FUN FUN FUN!
Note: After about three months, I resume the review.
Edge takes his sweet time entering the cage, but then out of nowhere comes Matt Hardy, but he's restrained by a gaggle of officials and security persons. Well, this alone makes the inclussion of this on a Kane DVD somewhat questionable. Edge to Matt: Go back to the Indies. Nice touch for J.R., Lawler and Coach to not aknowledge that it was Matt. Edge tries a quick escape, but Kane keeps him in the ring. Edge rakes the eyes and tries another escape, but Kane throws him down and connects with a clothesline. Irish whip, and Edge surprises Kane with his implant DDT, but it only gets a one count. Edge hammers away in the corner, then rakes the eyes again. Irish whip is reversed, and Kane takes Edge over with a back drop, then nails him with another clothesline. Irish whip, and Kane plants Edge with a side suplex. Kane heads to the top rope, but Edge knocks him off. Kane fights Edge back, but gets speared against the wall of the cage for his troubles. Edge rams Kane into the cage a few times, then splashes him up against the wall. Edge and Lita have a little kissy moment while Kane plays dead, prompting a "She's a Crack Whore" chant. Oh, nice blade job from Kane. I don't recall him doing many of those. Edge pounds away on the cut, and Kane gets raked across the cage for added effect. Kane blocks eating steel again, then throws Edge into the cage, instead. Kane with a couple of clotheslines, followed by another back drop. Whip to the corner, and Kane charges in with a clothesline, then connects with another side suplex. Kane heads to the top rope, and comes off with his signature flying clothesline. The camera shoots up close to Kane cackling with blood trickling down his face. Kane with mounted punches in the corner (about 23 of them, with the last dozen in rapid fire mode). Whip to the corner, and Kane eats boot on a charge. Edge heads to the top and connects with a missile dropkick. Edge tries climbing out, but Kane crotches him on the top rope, then rams his head into the cage a handful of times. Kane signals for the end, but Edge goes low to counter. Edge tries climbing, but Kane powerbombs him out of the corner, but that's only good for a two count. Edge escapes a possible tombstone attempt and hits a spear, but that only gets two, as well. Edge goes for the door, but Kane pulls him back in. Edge has the briefcase, though, but it fails to hit, and Kane puts him down with a chokeslam. Kane starts climbing, but Edge smacks him a few times with the briefcase. Edge starts climbing (with the briefcase, I might add), but Kane goes after him. Edge whacks him again with the briefcase and drops down for the victory at 10:29. Oh well... *1/2 I don't know what to say. It wasn't good, but it wasn't the worst match I've seen. But the inclussion of this just seemed very awkward, considering the highlight was Matt Hardy jumping the rail before the match.
- Stretcher Match:
Kane vs. Edge (w/ Lita):
From the July 25th, 2005 episode of Raw, directly resulted from the previous encounter, of course. As if we needed TWO matches from this feud to highlight the DVD set. What happened, we couldn't find some more Snitsky matches to toss on here, too? Oh, and this is basically like an Ambulance match, which was featured on Disc 2. First person to put his opponent on a stretcher and reach a given point wins. Kane attacks Edge from behind during the entrances and works him over. Into the ring we go, with Kane pounding away on Edge in the corner. Edge rakes the eyes and turns the tables for the moment. Kane with a knee to the face on a charge attempt, then he dumps Edge over the top, to the floor. Kane introduces Edge to the ring steps, among other items at ringside. Kane drops him across the security wall then whips him into the other set of steps. Kane places Edge on the stretcher and starts carting him up the aisle, but Edge keeps fighting. Kane retaliates by pounding him across the chest, then sending him on a direct trip into the side of the ring. Commercial Break! We come back, with Edge choking Kane out with a microphone cable. We see that Edge DDT'd Kane on the ring steps after escaping a tombstone attempt. Back in the ring, and Kane escapes a DDT attempt. Kane heads to the top rope and connects with his flying clothesline. Kane calls for a chokeslam, but Lita comes in with a chair. Kane wrestles it away from her, but Edge takes him out with a spear, instead. Edge stomps away, then rolls him onto the stretcher. Kane grabs him by the throat, but Lita nails Kane in the leg with a kendo stick. Is this ECW, or something, with the random weapons? Back in the ring, again, and Edge smacks Kane across the head with the stick. Kane has the smallest of small cuts from the impact, and the camera makes sure to show it. Edge wraps a chair around Kane's throat, but Kane sits up and smacks Edge off the top rope with the chair, instead. Kane with the goozle, and he chokeslams Edge ONTO the stretcher, crushing it's gears in the process. Kane pulls Edge up the aisle, but becomes distracted by Lita. Kane grabs her by the throat, but Edge saves her with a series of briefcase shots. They load Kane onto the stretcher, and one more case shot is enough to KO him, and give Kane the win at 8:58. I forgot that Edge used the fucking briefcase as a weapon in every match. Afterwards, Kane sits up and throws Edge face first into the Raw set, then plants Lita with a tombstone at the top of the ramp. Kane would disappear from television after this match, probably to let some injuries heal, and he would come back in time for Taboo Tuesday 2, and immediately upon return (allegedly) injured his tailbone in a match with Shawn Michaels and the Big Show. ** Much more entertaining than the Cage match, but not by match, and with most of the same basic "high spots" and finish.
- Kane vs. Umaga (w/ Armando Alejando Estrada):
From the September 18th, 2006 episode of Raw, and now I REALLY start to question these match selections. Honestly, who even remembers Kane and Umaga had a (Brief) program in the Fall of 2006? Even I didn't, and I'm the biggest Kane mark I know! Well, I'm the only Kane mark I know, but that's besides the point. The "lead in" segment with Kane has him saying how much he enjoys eliminating "other monsters", so here we go. I'd rather have Viscera, because he's an easier target to mock, and isn't dead, but whatever. Umaga charges during Kane's pyro, but Kane no-sells, and we get a battle of shoulder blocks. Kane with rights, and Umaga takes him down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Kane sits up and gets kicked in the face for it. Estrada hands Umaga a chair, and we get a referee bump in the process of a corner charge. Kane plants Umaga with a running DDT, but Umaga is up fast, and bashes Kane with the chair. Umaga covers, but another referee takes his time to get to ringside, and it's just a two count. We return from a Commercial Break, with Kane slugging it out on Umaga. Whip to the corner is reversed, and Kane boots Umaga on a charge. Umaga returns the favor with a Samoan drop. Umaga with a weak looking downward spiral, but he gets an elbow on a charge attempt. Irish whip and Kane with a big boot, followed by a clothesline and a diving shoulder tackle. Irish whip is blocked, and Umaga tosses Kane over the top. Kane hangs on, though, and hangs Umaga across the top instead. Kane grabs another chair, but Umaga fights it out of Kane's hands. Whip to the corner, and Umaga eats post on a charge attempt. Kane heads to the top rope, and connects with his flying clothesline. Kane calls for the end, but opts to grab the chair again. Estrada causes a distraction, but not enough of one, and Kane bashes Umaga three times for a Disqualification at the 4:45 mark. Way to NOT protect yourself, either, Umaga. Kane heads up after Estrada and drags him backstage... and we come back a little later with Kane threatening him with a spike. Umaga makes the save for his manager, crushing Kane up against some metal wall. Kane sits up, and just laughs it off. ** Enjoyable and intense brawl, to my surprise. Too bad there really was no purpose to have this specific match, though.
- Kane & The Undertaker vs. King Booker & Finlay (w/ Sharmell):
From the December 22nd, 2006 episode of Smackdown!, and I remember being pretty hyped up for the reunion of Kane and Taker as a tag team. I've said it before and I'll say it forever... outside of ONE instance, I hate "King of the WWF" gimmicks. Michael Cole reminds us that Kane came to Smackdown after losing a "Loser Leaves Raw" match to Umaga a few months back. Undertaker and Booker start, with Booker hammering away in the corner. Undertaker choke tosses Booker to the corner and unloads with his own series of blows. Undertaker with a wristlock and a series of shoulder blocks. Undertaker goes Old School (VINTAGE UNDERTAKER!) then boots Finlay coming in, but gets crotched going Old School on him, too. Booker heads up top and takes him over with a super-plex. That's only enough for a two count, and Undertaker sits up, of course. Finlay tags in and pounds away. Irish whip and Undertaker comes off the ropes with a DDT. Kane tags in for the first time and unloads on both opponents. He whips Booker to the corner, then plays charging clotheslines with both men and plants Booker with a side suplex. Undertaker comes back in to pounce Finlay, and we get simultanious big boots. Booker and Finlay take a walk as we go to Commercial. We return, with Kane in control of King Booker. Kane controls mostly with punches, then Undertaker adds a leg drop from the apron, just because he can. Kane takes Booker over with a suplex, then covers for a two count. Undertaker tags in and continues to punish Booker. Finlay manages to tag back in and gives Undertaker some uppercuts, but runs into a boot for his trouble. Undertaker whips him to the corner, then gives him snake eyes and another charging boot. Whip to the corner, and Kane tags in.
Undertaker missess a charge and eats a super-kick from Booker. Back in the ring, and Booker tastes the bottom of Kane's boot, again. Irish whip, and Kane with a back elbow. Kane heads to the top rope, but a brief distraction by Finlay allows Booker to catch Kane coming off with a jumping heel kick. Finlay tags back in and drops ass across the chest of Kane, then covers for two. Finlay applies a rear chinlock, while Booker takes care of the Undertaker with a chair shot. Kane fights free, but is put back down with a clothesline. Booker tags back in and connects with another heel kick, but thats only enough for a two count. We head back outside the ring (again), and Undertaker has Finlay by the throat, but gets KO'ed with the sheleligh (sp?). Back in the ring, and Kane continues to take punishment from the Royal Court. Irish whip, and we get a double clothesline spot. In the mean time, Undertaker floors Finlay with a boot and makes his way back to his teams corner. Undertaker gets the hot tag and pounds away on both Booker and Finlay. Undertaker with charges to the corner on both men, but they block a double chokeslam spot. Double Irish whip, and now Kane comes in and it's a Duel Chokeslam spot. Undertaker scoops up Finlay and plants him with the Tombstone, and that's enough for the three count at 12:44. ** Fun match, but a little bit of a mess for various reasons. It's rare for the babyface team to dominate so much against such high profile opponents, but it was more of the direction of the camera crew that made things a bit of mess, concerning the stuff done to the Undertaker outside of the ring. I still enjoyed it, though, and that's all that matters.
- Kane vs. King Booker (w/ Sharmell):
From the 2007 edition of No Way Out. I honestly don't recall anything between these two... and then we're treated to a video package, where Kane and Booker caused each other's eliminations during the Royal Rumble Match, and that's all Booker needed to take issues with Kane. Kane retaliated that by interrupting some stupid ceremony of honor held in King Booker's... uh... honor. Booker dances around the ring after the bell, but gets caught in the corner with the usual offense. Booker comes back with a heel kick and chops, but Kane shrugs it off and tosses Booker back to the corner and unloads with more rights. Irish whip, and Kane connects with a back elbow, then applies a chinlock. Booker thumbs the eyes, but charges into a side suplex. Kane drives a series of knees into the lower back, but gets hung up across the top rope. Booker blocks a chokeslam attempt, but is floored with a big boot. Kane charges and clotheslines Booker over the top, to the floor. The crowd seems very not into this one. Booker ends up in control, ramming Kane into the steel steps. Back in the ring, and Booker comes off the top with a missile dropkick for a two count. Booker puts the boots to Kane and applies a hammerlock. Kane fights back to his feet and escapes with a hip toss. Kane follows up with a clothesline and a series of rights. Irish whip, and Kane connects with a big boot. Kane heads to the top rope, but Booker counters with a heel kick in mid-flight. Booker connects with a spinning heel kick for a two count. Kane wins a slugfest, but Booker comes off the ropes with a diving forearm and covers for another two count. Booker with a series of chops and rights, but a suplex attempt is an unwise one, and Kane counters with one of his own. Both men are up, and Booker quickly floors Kane with a side heel kick for a two count. They slug it out again, with Kane taking control. Irish whip, and Booker goes low on another chokeslam attempt. Booker goes for the scissors kick, but Kane dodges and turns Booker inside out with a diving clothesline. Kane with a series of rights, then some of the mounted variety in the corner. Whip to the corner, and Kane follows in with a clothesline and connects with a side suplex. Kane heads to the top again, and this time connects with his flying clothesline. Sharmell hops on the apron for some distraction and Booker connects with a heel kick. Kane no-sells and nails the chokeslam, and that's enough for the three count at 12:39. * Incredibly slow and boring, with zero crowd interest except for the occasional signature spot from both men. Don't know why this had to be included on the set.
- First Ever Belfast Brawl:
Kane vs. Finlay:
From the September 14th, 2007 episode of Smackdown!, and yet another program I'm sure no one else remembers anything about. Belfast Brawl = No Count Outs, No Disqualifications, so it's the same run of the mill hardcore match, I guess. Finlay attacks Kane during his entrance, bashing him with his staff of wood. Finlay pounds away and rams Kane into the security wall. Kane reverses a whip, sending Finlay into the ring steps. Kane hammers away on Finlay and drops him with a boot. Into the ring we go, and Kane remains in control. Kane continues pounding on Finlay, then chokes him across the bottom rope. Whip to the corner, and Finlay surprises Kane with an elbow and kicks the leg from under him. Finlay drops butt across the midsection of Kane, but fails to register a count on a pin attempt. Kane plants Finlay with a slam, then sends him over the top rope with a clothesline. Kane returns the favor from earlier, ramming Finlay into the security wall. Kane tosses Finlay back in the ring, and Finlay manages to boot Kane in the face, attempting to re-enter the ring. Finlay with a series of rights and a short-arm clothesline. Finlay rams the left hand of Kane into the ring steps, then checks under the ring for his little buddy, probably. Kane rams Finlay into the ring post, but misses a charge. COMMERCIAL BREAK! We return, with Finlay having an armbar applied. Kane fights free with a series of rights, but Finlay kicks the worked-over arm to reclaim control. Finlay grabs a chair and bashes Kane in the arm with it, then stomps the chair resting across the wrist. Kane tries fighting Finlay off, but Finlay keeps the preasure going and exposes the steel turnbuckle. Kane tries mounting a comeback, but charges left shoulder first into the exposed steel. Finlay latches back onto the arm for more punishment. Finlay sets up a chair and rams the hand across the chair before going back to the armbar. Finlay cuts off another comeback by tossing Kane shoulder first into the ring post, then wraps the wrist around the post for good measure. Finlay starts heading to the top rope, but Kane boots him off, to the floor. Kane slams Finlay across the EXPOSED security wall, then introduces him to the announcers table. Kane tosses a piece of the table into Finlay's face, then stomps it on top of him. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Finlay escapes with a thumb to the eye. Back into the ring, and Finlay has the sheleilgh. Kane blocks it's use and whips Finlay to the corner. Kane connects with a clothesline, followed by the side suplex. Kane heads to the top rope and nails his signature clothesline. Kane pauses a second and opts to grab Finlay's walking stick. Finlay attempts to grab various weapons, but Kane cuts him off. Kane chucks the stick at him and connects with a boot. Back into the ring, and Kane brings the ring steps with him. Finlay rams Kane with a chair to the ribs, then connects with his signature samoan drop/slam for the three count at 13:58. *1/2 Most of the match was just the usual plodding brawl stuff and the lack of a finish involving the work of the arm made everything that was good seem pointless. Don't know why this was included, especially since Kane lost.
- Champion vs. Champion Match:
Kane vs. The Undertaker:
From the April 4th, 2008 episode of Smackdown!, and this was the first in-ring encounter between the two since probably 2001, and trust me, no one was missing the stinkers these two were putting on. The Undertaker had won the championship that was the big gold belt from Edge, and Kane had won the ECW "World" Title at WrestleMania XXIV, but it's Non-Title, just incase the Undertaker felt like doing the job to Kane, for once. Judging by the run time left, this is going to be longer than I hope (not including a time of 0:00), but not painfully long. To my HORROR, Michael Cole of all people, reminds me this is their first encounter in four years. I completely wiped Wrestlemania XX clean from my memory bank, and for justified reasons, I would say. I guess I meant their last significant SERIES of matches, in which 2001 seems about right, as they wrestled on-and-off between SummerSlam 2000 and the 2001 Royal Rumble before uniting once again. Apparently, this was punishment from Smackdown GM Vicki Guerrero for beating her "Familia" for their titles at WrestleMania. Whatever.
Lockup to start, and Undertaker with a weak shove. Lockup #2, and Kane's shove has a little more behind it. Undertaker grabs a headlock, but a shoulder block just has a mild effect. Kane with a headlock now, and he puts Undertaker down with a shoulder. Undertaker tries for a hip toss, but Kane blocks and counters with his own, then slams Undertaker for a two count. Kane applies a wristlock, but Undertaker quickly counters into his own. Kane turns it back, but Undertaker sweeps the leg for a quick pin attempt, then goes back to the arm with a hammerlock. Kane sweeps the leg for a one count, and they're back at a standing position. Undertaker sweeps the leg and applies a toe hold. Kane escapes by shoving 'Taker off. Lockup, and Kane works another wristlock. Undertaker breaks the hold and jerks the left arm of Kane. Undertaker goes for Old School, but Kane pulls him back. Undertaker jerks the arm some more and drives a shoulder into the arm. Undertaker turns it into a hammerlock, but Kane forces a break in the corner. Kane gives a not-so-kind shove, so Undertaker sucker punches him to return the favor. Kane throws a haymaker of his own, and now we've got a slugfest. Undertaker gets the best of that exchange, but ends up on the recieving end of a big boot. Kane with a knee to the midsection, followed by a series of rights in the corner. Undertaker grabs Kane by the throat, tosses him to the corner, and unleashes with his own fury. Undertaker dumps Kane out of the ring, then heads out to ram Kane into the security wall. Kane with an elbow, then returns the favor. Back into the ring, and they exchange blows from their knees. Irish whip, and Undertaker ducks a clothesline, then goes for a chokeslam. Kane returns the favor of a throat grab, and a double boot sees both men going down. The referee starts counting them out, and we get a simultanious sit up. Suddenly, Edge, Chavo Guerrero, and two guys dressed like Edge (Zach Ryder and Curt Hawkins, upon research) storm the ring for the No Contest at 9:08. Naturally, Kane and the Undertaker end up clearing the ring of the Edge look-a-likes, then executing chokeslams and tombstone piledrivers to Edge and Chavo. *1/2 Not exactly the worst match these two have had, but still not very good, but I'll give them credit for going a different route from their usual garbage brawls.
- 24-Man Battle Royal for ECW Championship Match Later In The Night:
(Participants: Kane, Mark Henry, Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Deuce, Domino, Tommy Dreamer, Jim Duggan, Festus, The Great Khali, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Brian Kendrick, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Shannon Moore, Trevor Murdoch, Jamie Noble, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, Snitsky, Stevie Richards, Val Venis, Jimmy Wang Yang)
From WrestleMania 24, held before the PPV officially begun, but at the same time not televised since there's no more Sunday Night Heat. It says it was streamed online, so there you go. As mentioned, winner faces the ECW "World" Champion (Chavo Guerrero) later on the PPV.
Festus eliminates Domino at 0:34, and then Deuce goes next at 0:36. Jim Duggan is out at 1:07, thanks to Khali. Stevie Richards is next at the hands of Elijah Burke at 1:29. Kane tosses Burke at 1:39 with one arm. Noble eliminates The Miz at 1:56 with a head scissors. Mark Henry eliminates both Jimmy Yang and Shannon Moore at 2:50. Jesse gets tossed at 2:56. Festus back drops Murdoch out at 3:10. Festus is gone thanks to Lance Cade, at 3:26. Kendrick ends up eliminating himself and Cade with a cross-body at 3:35, then takes out Jesse at the same time for a DOUBLE elimination. I'm just kidding, but I find wipe outs of already eliminated wrestlers entertaining. Mark Henry launches Kofi Kingston onto the previous mentioned bunch at 4:07. Cody Rhodes' retarded 'self is eliminated by Palumbo at 4:20. Noble uses a bridge of Cade, Kendrick, and Kofi to save himself, but gets booted out at 4:50 by Palumbo, and Palumbo is gone thanks to Khali at 4:54. Everyone gangs up to toss Khali at 5:14. Snitsky tosses Holly at 5:20. Dreamer was dumped with my eyes off the camera, leaving Kane, Snitsky, and Henry. Henry double crosses Snitsky, eliminating him at 5:54. Mark Henry presses Kane in the air, but Kane escapes and boots Henry over the top for the victory at 6:21 to earn a shot at the ECW Title later in the nbight. The typical Battle Royal. Nothing much to it.
- ECW World Championship Match:
Chavo Guerrero © vs. Kane:
Obviously from later in the night, held on Pay-Per-View. ECW GM Armando Alejandro Estrada is in the ring to introduce the match. It must be a complete sham for Joey Styles to not only be calling a WWE PPV, but trying to pass off this "ECW" belt as a real ECW thing. Ditto for Tazz, who hasn't given up on WWE yet for "greener" pastures in TNA. Kane's music plays, but he sneaks up from behind, coming through the crowd. Chavo runs into a throat grab, and Kane plants him with a chokeslam for the three count at the 12-second mark for the ECW Title. So Kane's first taste of singles gold in the WWE since the Fall of 2002 is a meaningless title in a meaningless match at the biggest show of the year. No rating, for the obvious reasons. Kane would hold the title for a few months before losing it to... Mark Henry? The fuck if I care enough to remember or look it up.
Final Thoughts Part 3: If the whole point of a disc was dedicated to a bunch of random matches with very little historical purpose or reasoning behind their inclusion, then this might've been the greatest disc ever produced in the history of WWE Home Video. However, I'd rather have seen more "important" stuff, but realized that Kane's storylines from 2004-on was very limited, but there still could've been more to salvage than a random match with Finlay, or a heatless feud blowoff with King Booker, or a random match with Umaga. The only stuff on the disc that belongs was probably the matches with Edge, and those were some of the least enjoyable stuff from Disc 3. I know it wasn't the greatest storyline on earth, but why not feature the "May 19th" crap with the other Kane? At least that would've been significant, even if for the wrong reason. And sadly, the erasing from history of someone meant the exclusion of a specific match from 2004 that was probably Kane's best in a long time. Oh well, can't cry too much, right?
Final Final Thoughts: After sitting through three discs of Kane, I've come to the conclussion that Kane is NOT a wrestler to dedicate THREE discs to. I could understand two discs, because Disc 1 featured some enjoyable and memoral moments from the characters life. But after the half-way point of Disc 2, it just spiraled down until I was hoping for each match to be as short as possible so I don't have to sit through too much boring crap. Even as a huge Kane mark, I cannot in good concience give this a Thumbs Up Recommendation, not even for someone like myself. For the few matches on the set that are worth checking out, almost everything else is counter-productive when it comes to showing the "best" moments, rather than the most blunderous and meaningless.
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