NWA/TNA Weekly PPV - July 10, 2002
by Scrooge McSuck>
- Last week on NWA-TNA: Total Nonstop Action, A.J. Styles and Jerry Lynn were crowned the NEW Tag Team Champions, filling in for the injured Chris Harris and James Storm for a Tournament Final that included other notable teams like The Johnsons, the Rainbow Express, and Apolo and Marcus "Don't Call Me Buff" Bagwell. No Dupps? Brian Christopher turned heel on Scott Hall, Ken Shamrock successfully defended the NWA World Title against Malice, Jim Miller's fat-ass finally shows up and declares "that Japanese Guy Omori" will get an NWA Title Match, and Puppet, the Psycho Dwarf likes to beat people up.
- Mike Tenay, Don West, and Ed Ferrara are at ringside to call all the action, unless otherwise noted.
NWA World Tag Team Championship Match:
To follow up a lazy reference from a few weeks back, Slash is Wolfie D of PG-13. Tempest is formerly known as Devon Storm/Crowbar. Maybe WWE owns that name, too. A.J. Styles is already a double-Champion, also being the reigning NWA X-Division Champion. Why do Slash and Tempest deserve a shot? Did they win a regional match to earn such an honor? Lynn and Slash trade counters until Lynn takes him down with a bulldog for a near fall. Slash blocks a hurricanrana, but Lynn still manages to slam him face-first to the canvas. Styles with a running senton for two. Tempest tags in and gets the arm worked on. Styles busts out the nip-up hurricanrana and a jumping heel kick for two. Tenay informs us Jerry Lynn will wrestle TWICE, competing in tonight's Main Event. More on that later. Tempest hangs Styles across the top rope and comes back in with a slingshot splash for two. Tempest with a head scissors and clothesline. Styles comes back with a springboard dropkick. Styles and Lynn clean house, opting to ignore the hot tag spot. Styles goes for a plancha and gets caught, so Lynn somersaults onto the pile to complete the spot. Lynn leg drops Tempest across the middle rope and Styles comes off with an Asai Moonsault for two! Slash creates a distraction, allowing Tempest to connect with a DVD for two. New Church with a double chokeslam for two. Styles counters a dropkick, slingshots Slash into Tempest, and lays him out with a discus clothesline. Lynn with the hot tag, and predictably cleans house. Tempest counters a Cradle Piledriver with a low blow. Lynn counters a hurricanrana and comes off the ropes with a body press for two. Lynn counters the DVD and appears to finish with the Cradle Piledriver... but Styles tags in and hits the Spiral Tap for the three count at 10:37. Glory hog. *** Pretty good match that followed the standard formula with a few decent high spots and mostly smooth action. Lynn appears pissed at Styles, and understandably so. He had the match won, but Styles just had to tag in and steal the Thunder.
Jerry Lynn & A.J. Styles © vs. Slash & Tempest (w/ James Mitchell):
- Last week on Total Nonstop Action, Jarrett, K-Krush, and Brian Christopher joined forces in whooping the crap out of Scott Hall in one of the first of many pointless, overly booked finishes in TNA PPV History. Scott Hall is "live" via telephone, and he's looking for payback... NEXT WEEK!
- Brian Christopher comes out, denounces his name, appears to have daddy issues, and is going to go by the name of "Brian Lawler" from now on. Brian Christopher being revealed as Jerry Lawler's son is about as big of a secret as Pat Patterson being a homosexual.
Norman Smiley vs. Brian Lawler:
It's like Worldwide collides with Jakked. Jeremy Borash introduces Smiley as "Screamin' Norman", but I'm pretty sure that WCW gimmick is LONG dead. Lawler attacks him before the bell and stomps away. Whip is reversed, but Lawler telegraphs a back drop and plants a boot to the chest. Whip to the ropes, Norman ducks under a clothesline, and connects with a pair of dropkicks. Criss-cross ends with Smiley planting Lawler with a wind-up slam. Smiley stops the action to dance around. He connects with an inverted atomic drop, a regular atomic drop, and works in the Big Wiggle. Lawler comes out of nowhere with a DDT. Crowd chants "Jerry's Kid" to irk him. Whip to the corner, and Lawler charges in with a shoulder to the midsection. Smiley avoids the second attempt and unloads with rights. Smiley with a headbutt and a clothesline for two. Christopher shoves Smiley down from a mounted punches position and finishes with the Hip Hop Drop at 4:43. *1/4 Too competitive considering Lawler is being groomed for a "headlining" match with Scott Hall and Norman Smiley was just a JTTS. The wrestling was OK, but this was the definition of a filler match just to remind us that Brian Lawler is around.
- Jeff Jarrett and Bill Behrens argue backstage, and inside the locker room, you can hear James Mitchell chewing his men out. Behrens suspends Jarrett based on zero evidence as to what happened to NWA President Jim Miller last week, which guarantees Jarrett will interfere in a match later tonight.
Hermie Sadler vs. K-Krush:
This feud is still going on? It's basically a "K-Krush is black, and black people hate NASCAR" scenario. I think K-Krush got about 5-seconds of promo time during his WWF run, so it was a bit weird to see him getting considerable air time every week since the debut of NWA-TNA. Trash talking leads to shoving, which leads to slapping. Krush misses a jumping heel kick, crotching himself, and Sadler knocks him to the floor with a shoulder tackle. Sadler hops off the apron with a forearm and continues to pound away. Back in the ring, Sadler mounts Krush with rights (10 of them to be exact). Whip to the ropes, Krush with a boot to the midsection, followed by the Scissors Kick. Krush with a suplex and a lazy cover for a two count. Running powerslam with a one finger cover gets two. Krush slaps on a figure-four in the center of the ring, using the ropes for leverage. Sadler somehow finds it deep inside to turn it over, forcing Krush to break the hold. Krush goes for a head scissors, but Sadler counters with a sitout powerbomb for two! Sadler throws some ugly rights until Krush sweeps the legs and rolls him up for three at 5:07 (with feet on the ropes, of course). But wait... the referee reverses the decision for the post-bell cheap shot. What-the-fuck-ever. ** Match was still better than it had any right to be, but that was such a stupid finish.
- Takao Omori pays off Alicia (don't call her Ryan Shamrock).
The Briscoe Brothers vs. The Hot Shots:
(Jay & Mark Briscoe vs. Cassidy O'Reilly & Chase Stevens)
Where the fuck is this coming from? To give you an idea of the time period, the Briscoes had roughly 2 years professional experience at this point, and Stevens less than 4 years. This match is so important, the Briscoes are introduced with zero fanfare during the "in-between" segments involving the Cage dancers. O'Reilly and Mark Briscoe start with some decent action. Mark gets sent to the floor, and Jay is quickly launched to the floor as well. The Hot Shots follow with a simultanious suicide dive and somersault senton. All four men brawl in the ring until Malice shows up and beats the crap out of everyone, drawing a bell at 2:10 and making it a No Contest. Someone must've cranked the microphone up under the ring, because that Chokeslam to one of the Briscoes was beyond believable. DUD No rating, but the couple of spots they were allowed to do weren't crappy.
- James Mitchell wants the blood of Ken Shamrock on Malice's hands. Ken Shamrock does have a punchable face, so I can't blame everyone wanting to whoop his ass. Malice threatens to destroy Tiny the Timekeeper with ULTRA-VIOLENCE (someone must've read or seen A Clockwork Orange that morning), but Ken Shamrock makes the save. Then Omori comes out to help, because he wants his Title Match tonight, I guess.
- Goldylocks is with The Dupps, Stan, Bo, and Fluff. They're going to face The Flying Elvis (Impersonators) later in tonight's show. Goldylocks was fucking atrocious in her role. Stan Dupp does all the talking while Bo and Fluff appear to be making up. Bo starts talking, so it's Stan's turn to make out with his cousin. Bo drops a series of s-bombs, because NWA-TNA is all about unnecessary vulgarity.
- Stripper music plays and out comes Jasmine St. Claire. She offers to take off her clothes and give Jeremy Borash a lap-dance (he must be one of the main guys in charge of the bookings, considering all the women have been flirting with him on these shows). Bill Behrens comes out to cover things with his jacket... and Ed Ferrara TACKLES HIM! Then he apologizes, and Behrens completes the blocking of the cock tease. Pointless, but at least we didn't have to see anyone "wrestle."
The Dupps (w/ Fluff Dupp) vs. The Flying Elvis Impersonators:
(Stan & Bo Dupp vs. Sonny Siaki & Jorge Estrada)
I'm going to assume the inbred Hillbillies are the babyfaces, considering both teams were introduced as heels on the inaugural PPV less than a month earlier. No Jimmy Wang Yang, who according to Tenay, is touring "the Orient" with NJPW. Siaki and Estrada attack before the bell, but Estrada gets dumped and Stan Dupp hits an ugly spinebuster on Siaki. Mortimer Plumtree shows up without his Johnson(s), and I'm pretty sure he did nothing the rest of his time in NWA-TNA. Bo with headbutts and a short-clothesline on Estrada. Bo with an inverted atomic drop and Stan with a clothesline. Stan with a modified Alabama Slam for two. Siaki sneaks in with a whacky face buster and fakes a tag. Siaki with a split-leg moonsault, but Bo sells it long enough to plant Siaki with a spinebuster. Stan gets a cold hot tag (a trend that TNA seems to have a problem with) and pounds away on everyone. Full Nelson Slam on Siaki. Siaki with a pumphandle slam, and Estrada with a sloppy springboard senton for three at 5:04. 3/4* I wasn't feeling it, and the crowd didn't care, either.
- Backstage, Jerry Lynn and A.J. Styles are brawling in a pile of empty tables and chairs. Maybe they invented a time machine and jumped forward to a NWA-TNA show held in 2014. Lynn gives Styles a Cradle Piledriver on a traveling case and throws the X-Division Title on "the glory hound."
- Harley Race shows up, because why the hell not?
NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Mike Tenay runs down a decent Tale of the Tape to try and make the match seem important, but unfortunately, it's as thrown together as you can get. Shamrock attacks with knees to the chest and takes Omori down with a DDT for a two count. Shamrock locks on a head scissors, but Omori hooks the ropes to force a break. Omori comes back with clubberin' rights and a running dropkick. Slow motion whip to the corner and Omori follows in with a heel kick. Shamrock ducks the second attempt and pounds away on the knee. Omori fights him off and connects with a sloppy swinging neck breaker, but he misses the Bombs Away Knee Dropô. Whip to the corner is reversed and Omori connects with the Axe Bomber for another near fall. Shamrock takes Omori down with a clothesline and grapevines the leg. Omori fights back to his feet and puts Shamrock down with an elbow. Shamrock blocks a Piledriver and pounds the knee. He counters a Full Nelson with the armbar and slaps on the Ankle Lock, but TAKAO OMORI MUST BE PROTECTED, and Jeff Jarrett runs in with chair shots to Shamrock and Omori. Harley Race comes in the ring and gets whacked across the top of the head, UNPROTECTED. *1/2 I don't know what they were going for, but they were clearly in different books, let alone on different pages. As far as Jarrett is concerned, If you're going to be suspended, might as well make it count. Useless tidbit: Omori would go on to win the Heavyweight Championship three nights later... in Harley Race's World League Wrestling. I guess that explains why Race was at ringside.
Ken Shamrock © vs. Takao Omori:
- Stuff happens backstage, and we find Bill Behrens in his underpants, gagged, and with "F U" painted across his chest. Same thing happened to Jim Miller last week. I just forgot to mention it. I wonder if the F U means "forever unchained"... never mind, Dustin Rhodes was back in WWE at this point.
X-Division Contender's Six-Pack Challenge:
Goofy rules of the stipulation: First man eliminated will be the #6 Contender, and so on until the Winner is declared the #1 Contender to the X-Division Championship. I guess we're going by Mike Tyson's Punch-Out rules when it comes to rankings. Really, #6 contender?! Whatever. Daniels and Romeo start. They take turns working each others left arm. Romeo with a headlock and shoulder tackle. Daniels with a Japanese arm drag. Romeo misses a spinning heel kick, and Skipper tags himself in. He lands on his feet going for a springboard moonsault, and connects with a heel kick on Daniels for a two count. Mamaluke tags in and puts the hurt on Skipper. Northern lights suplex gets two. Mamaluke with a basement dropkick, but a colission hurts both men. Lynn counters a hip toss with a back breaker. Whip and Lynn with a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. Low-Ki tags in and lands a pair of stiff kicks to the chest. Mamaluke drop toe holds him into the ropes and connects with a drifting back suplex. Mamaluke with a double-arm DDT, then holds onto it with a Dragon Sleeper, but the referee forces the break because it's turning into a choke. Daniels with a tilt-o-whirl slam on Low-Ki for two. Romeo tags in and pounds away on Daniels. Daniels catches him off the ropes with a running side kick. Lynn goes for the Gory Special, but Romeo counters. Lynn escapes with a sunset flip for two. Lynn boots him in the corner and connects with a tornado DDT for two. Daniels misses a swan-dive headbutt. Lynn tries dumping Daniels over the top rope, but goes tumbling himself. Daniels with a springboard Asai Moonsault. Romeo with a cross body from the top rope. Mamaluke somersaults onto the pile. Skipper and Low Ki finish the series of spots with simultanious somersault planchas. Mamaluke crotches Lynn across the top rope... and he's Counted-Out at 10:15!
Low-Ki vs. "Primetime" Elix Skipper vs. Kid Romeo vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. "Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels vs. Jerry Lynn:
Back to the action, Mamaluke plants Daniels with a front suplex, takes him down with a Russian leg sweep, and locks on a neck wringer. Skipper comes in, laying out Mamaluke with a clothesline. Neat sequence of counters ends with Skipper planting Mamaluke with the Overdrive (twisting Rocker Dropper) and getting the three count at 11:31.
Low Ki comes in with his typical stiff strikes. Whip to the ropes, and Skipper goes flying through the ropes. Blown spot! Low-Ki tosses him back in the ring and continues to dish out punishment. Skipper goes for the Overdrive again, but Low-Ki counters and destroys him with a fisherman version of the Oklahoma Stampede. Low Ki with more vicious kicks, but the springboard roundhouse kick is avoided by the Matrix spot, and Skipper plants him with a belly-to-belly suplex! Skipper to the top with a missile dropkick. Daniels tags himself in and gets taken over with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Skipper with a reverse suplex for two! Daniels with an inverted DDT. Daniels with the Last Rights (now known as Cross Rhodes to casual WWE fans) for the three count at 14:56.
Romeo plants Daniels with a facebuster for two. Whip is reversed and Romeo takes him down with a bulldog for another two count. He heads to the top rope, but gets crotched along the turnbuckle. Daniels climbs up with him for a contrived spot that involves a top rope Irish Curse. Daniels gets the foot on the ropes, though. Low-Ki tags in, hits a roundhouse kick, a handspring roundhouse kick in the corner, and the Dragon Clutch makes Romeo tap out at 17:05.
Low-Ki tries to cover Daniels, but only gets two. Pulls him to the center of the ring, and covers again for two. They trade chops in the corner with Low-Ki gaining the upperhand. Daniels ducks under a clothesline and takes Low-Ki down with a downward spiral, followed by a reverse Russian leg sweep. Daniels tries to spring off the ropes, but Low-Ki interrupts and goes for the Dragon Clutch. Daniels fights him off and springs off the top rope with a moonsault, but it only gets two! Low-Ki counters a suplex with a roll up for two. Daniels with a bridge for two. Low-Ki with an Oklahoma Roll for two. Daniels with a crucifix for two. Low-Ki counters the Last Rights and locks on the Dragon Clutch, but Daniels escapes with a snapmare! Daniels with the Fall From Grace (a snapmare type maneuver with the opponent on the top turnbuckle), but it only gets two. Daniels goes for the Last Rights again, but Low Ki counters with a roundhouse kick, and a Fisherman Buster finishes at 21:42, making Low-Ki the #1 Contender to the X-Division Championship! **** Much like the Round Robin from Week #2, this was simply a showcase for what Low-Ki and Christopher Daniels had to offer, made obvious by the commentary and the amount of time they were allowed to work. Kid Romeo got a surprising amount of ring time, and looked green as hell, but carryable. Mamaluke really didn't add much, Skipper was sloppy but looked good, and Lynn is Lynn. Not as good as the Round Robin Match, but an excellent main event...
- Post-Match, Sonny "Don't Call Me Dwayne" Siaki and Jorge Estrada put a beating on Daniels and Low-Ki for being excluded from the match. Elix Skipper runs in and gets stomped, and finally Siaki and Estrada leave after Mamaluke and Romeo return to the ring. For whatever reason, Jeff Jarrett comes to ringside with a chair, and wants an NWA Title Match. There's a few members of the Tennessee Titans at ringside, who Jarrett mouths off to. They jump the rail and attack Jarrett, the Dicyples of the New Curch come out, with Malice attacking Jarrett, Jarrett whacks everyone with chairs... it's another WCW ending that makes absolutely no sense.
Final Thoughts: You have to give TNA credit... they delivered another fantastic Main Event, then ruined it with a post-match beat down, leading into a post-match meltdown where nothing appears to have made any sense. After sitting through the two hours, I want to see more of Styles, Lynn, Daniels, and Low-Ki, and maybe Jarrett, if he ever actually gets to wrestle someone not named Scott Hall. The tag division is littered with bad gimmicks and non-contenders, Ken Shamrock is a total stinker as their World Champion, and please God, why are we getting a Brian Lawler push? I can see why I didn't order another NWA-TNA PPV until January 2003.
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