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Impact Wrestling Victory Road
by Samoa Rowe
September 14, 2019
From the Stride Bank Center in Enid, Oklahoma. Our hosts are Josh Mathews and Scott D'Amore. Production values are comparable to a Ring of Honor event circa 2008. The venue looks too big for the paltry crowd that's gathered, but the lights are dim enough that it shouldn't be too distracting. I would estimate there's somewhere in the ballpark of 100 people in the crowd.
Impact Wrestling Tag Team Championship:
The North (Ethan Page and Josh Alexander) © vs. Fuego Del Sol and Retro Randy Price
Price is replacing Rich Swann, and has a silly gimmick of a man who can't let go of outdated tech, as he jams his way to the ring to a walkman cassette player. Fuego starts against Alexander, who comes across as a throwback amateur type wrestler. Tags are made, and Retro Randy gets some shine with a crossbody for 2. Fuego returns with a double stomp to the wrist , but Page cuts him off, and is smart enough to sell his arm. The North take control and Fuego sells for them like a champ, including having a rana reversed into a sick backbreaker by Alexander. Fuego rallies with a modifed sliced bread off the body of page, and Retro Randy gets a hot tag! Randy's offense is pretty basic, somewhat refreshingly simple stuff like atomic drops and flapjacks. The North cut Randy off, but Fuego breaks up the double tea, hitting a top rope blockbuster and frog splash on Alexander. The North rebound with a wheelbarrow cutter on Fuego, who kicks out! Fuego avoids a double Styles Clash and drills Alexander with a springboard DDT, followed by Randy's DDT for a good 2 count. Page catches Fuego with a nasty Razor's Edge and The NOrth finish him with a tandem powerbomb for the win at 13:30 Strong opener as The North shine as a throwback team and Fuego delivered a great underdog performance, ***½.
Winners and still Impact Wrestling Champions: The North
Moose talks some smack against Ken Shamrock, building up a showdown at Bound for Glory. Moose will take on Shamrock's buddy, Stephan Bonnar, in the meantime, and prove to the world why he is the best big man in wrestling.
Kiera Hogan vs. Desiderata
Desiderata is representing the "Arrow Club" and her entrance video states she wants to "Make America Native Again." She is eager to fight, but Hogan hides in the ropes. Hogan finds the courage to throw a chop, which is completely no sold. Desiderata knocks her onto the apron, but Hogan pulls the hair to hit a neckbreaker and take control. Desiderata comes back with a delayed vertical suplex for 2. Hogan answers with a dropkick and applies a CHINLOCK! Desiderata breaks out but misses a flying senton. Hogan talks a ton of smack, which only fuels Desiderata's comeback, full of power moves. Hogan superkicks the face to cut off the rally. Desiderata hits a spinning Blue Thunder Bomb, but Hogan rolls to the floor. Someday that move will end a match, but this is not that day. Desiderata chases Hogan around the ring but Hogan gets enough separation to sneak into the ring for the count-out win at 8:36. This was okay, **.
Winner via count-out: Kiera Hogan
Sami Callihan cuts a deranged promo with red light effects to put over his determination to capture the Impact Wrestling Championship from Brian Cage. First, he has to make an example of "Tatanka's nephew" Hawk.
Sami Callihan vs. Kyle Hawk
Hawk is also representing the "Arrow Club." I look forward to seeing their t-shirts show up in Hot Topic. Hawk stupidly runs right into a Callihan lariat. Hawk rebounds (no-sells) and they sprint through opening match formalities, but Callihan surprises with a powerbomb. Callihan hits a second powerbomb and bows to the fans. The fight heads to the stage, where Callihan backdrops Hawk back into the ring. Callihans follows with a backdrop onto the apron. Hawk hits a desperation kick to the chest, prompting Callihan to choke him. CUE THE CHINLOCK! Hawk counters out with a chinbreaker. They exchange chops, with Hawk getting the upper hand. Hawk runs up the stage for a flying shoulder block! Hawk's cutter gets a good 2 count. Sami bits the finger and nails a brainbuster for 2. They trade kicks until Sami catches Hawk with a piledriver for the win at 9:01. Good semi-squash for Sami, as he never seemed in danger of losing and got to look murderous, **½.
Winner: Sami Callihan
Sami isn't finished as he hits a second piledriver on Hawk. I guess I better cancel my preorder of the Arrow Club t-shirt.
Impact Wrestling is heading to AXS TV! Finally, Impact will be on a somewhat respectable TV station again, and all it took was the parent company buying a network!
Michael Elgin is annoyed that Naomichi Marufuji is ducking him, but that's okay, because he's going to take it out on TJP!
Chavo Guerrero © vs. MVP
Yes, this is a match that is happening in 2019. I don't know whether to feel nostalgic or tired by this. Chavo is the "World Class" champion and doesn't look as though he's aged a day since his last WWE appearance. MVP, on the other hand, looks like he's been through the ringer. They keep a brisk pace in the early going, and MVP tosses Chavo to the floor and bats him into the apron. Chavo catches MVP getting back into the ring by kicking the ropes and the momentum shifts to his favor. The crowd politely gets behind MVP as Chavo pounds and grounds him. MVP comes back with a waistlock, but Chavo tosses him to the floor for a slingshot crossbody. MVP counters Chavo's leg scissor ties him in the ropes to smash the chest. Chavo retaliates with a standing frog splash for 2. Chavo applies a deep knee bar and switches into a CHINLOCK! MVP powers to his feet for a break but misses a big boot. Chavo hyperextends MVP's bad knee and applies an ankle lock variation. MVP rallies with a back drop for a somewhat pitiful 2 count. MVP tosses Chavo rib-first into the ropes and both men sell exhaustion. MVP rallies, hitting hte ballin' elbow, but Chavo kicks out! Chavo blocks the Playmaker and delivers the 3 Amigoes. MVP stops a frog splash but Chavo head butts him off the top but frog splahes into MVP's knees. MVP follows with a knee strike and pins Chavo for the title at 13:48! Great WWE-style match that would have felt right at home on the midcard of any pay-per-view in the late 2000's, ***.
Winner and new WCR Champion: MVP
MVP and Chavo display mutual respect, which is simply sickening. How dare they like one another. Wrestlers shouldn't be friends.
Bound for Glory promo. It looks like they spent money on this package, which has lots of pretty aerial shots.
Jimmy Jacobs interviews Eddie Edwards backstage. Edwards is wielding a kendo stick and just can't wait to dish out some pain. They're interrupted by Rohit Raju and his manager, who are ready to deal with Edwards tonight.
Taya Valkyrie © vs. Rosemary
Taya cuts a shallow ditz promo before the match, suggesting that she and Rosemary should go shopping instead of fighting, and offers her a makeover. Rosemary is having none of this and punches Taya in the face and the fight is on! Rosemary fish hooks the mouth at ringside but Taya catches her with a dropkick heading back to the ring. Taya dishes out a methodical beatdown, while flaunting her girlishness mannerisms to the fans. Rosemary bites the fingers to get back into it, but Taya slams her face to the mat. They slug it out, with Rosemary gaining the upper hand with clotheslines and a sling blade. Rosemary hits an exploder suplex for only 2. Rosemary nails a spear but is slow to cover and only gets 2. Taya fetches some hairspray from her bag and blinds Rosemary for the win at 8:09. This was simply okay, as the women's personalities carried this above what might have been a bland offering, **¼.
Winner and still Knockouts Champion: Taya Valkyrie
Jimmy Jacobs interviews Stephan Bonnar backstage. They would have me believe that Bonnar is a UFC legend, so I'll take their word for it. Bonnar is likely on jobber duty tonight as his opponent, Moose, is heading into a "big" showdown against Ken Shamrock at Bound for Glory.
Moose vs. Stephan Bonnar
Moose cuts a somewhat amusing, but insincere against crappy Oklahoma fans until interrupte by Bonnar's hip hop theme song. Moose retreats to ringside as "UFC Hall of Famer" Bonnar is eager to get it on. Moose cheap shots the eye and lights Bonnar up with a chp, but Bonnar answers with a leg takedown and pummels the head. Bonnar looks for an armbar but Moose escapes to the floor. Bonnar is aggressive but Moose rakes the eyes to regain control. Bonnar sends Moose into the ring post, but Moose kicks the ropes getting while returning to the ring, and maintains control with ground and pound type offense. Bonnar reverses a suplex onto the stage! Bonnar lights Moose up with martial arts kicks. Spin heel kick by Bonnar only gets 2. Bonnar avoids a punch and rolls into a cross armbreaker, but Moose gets the ropes. Bonnar pleads with the referee, allowing Moose to catch him with a rope-assisted over for the win at 10:05. Moose looks lucky to get out alive, signalling that Ken Shamrock should have his way with im at Bound for Glory. This was okay-ish, **½.
Rohit Raju (with Shera) vs. Eddie Edwards
Man, ROH could really use Edwards right now, it's kind of sad that he's stuck in Impact purgatory. Raju's buddy helps distract and he gets a hot start with typical underhanded heel offense. Edwards fires back with firey babyface offense, hitting a nice overhead belly to belly suplex. Raju counters with a neckbreaker for a 1 count. Edwards answers with a fireman's carry facebuster, but Raju and Sheera double team him, totally in front of the referee, and we have an apparent DQ at 3:43. World Champion Brian Cage makes the save and it looks like we have a tag team match! If only Teddy Long were here to confirm it. Cage saves us the trouble, cuttin a promo saying he didn't fly to Oklahoma for nothing.
Eddie Edwards and Impact Wrestling Champion Brian Cage vs. The Dhesi Hit Squad (Rahit Raju and Shera)
Bell rings and Edwards and Cage immediately double team poor Raju. Cage nails a backbreaker and punishes Raju with an overhead press slam. Raju eats another Cage press slam, and Edwards returns to pick up the pieces, but the fresh Shera makes a tag to cut off his momentum. The Dhesi Hit Squad work over Edwards rather effectively for a few minutes, but Edwards gains some separation with a Blue Thunder Bomb! Cage gets a hot tag and looks absolutely roided as he cleans house. Shera manages a chokeslam on Cage, allowing a close nearfall for Raju. Edwards makes a save, hitting the Boston Knee Party to help Cage pin Raju at 6:41. This was a fun sprint, let's call both matches *** and call it a day.
Winners: Brian Cage and Eddie Edwards
Michael Elgin vs. TJP
Man, ROH could really use these two guys. So could AEW. Impact is lucky to have them. Bell rings and Elgin goes right for a vice lock, and TJP escapes in the ropes. TJP hits some jabs and applies a side headlock takeover. TJP slides into a headscissors takedown. Elgin attempts a break, but TJP kicks off the turnbuckles to reapply the side headlock. TJP headstands into a dropkick for 2. Elgin looks hapless as TJP transitions into a legbar and head stands off the turnbuckles into a head scissors variation. Elgin retaliates with snake arms and a German suplex for 2. Elgin works TJP over with suplexes and ground and pound offense, but can't put him away. TJP mule kicks out of a surfboard stretch and counters a powerbomb, but Elgin kicks him on the turnbuckles, but TJP blocks a superplex and nails a sitout powerbomb! TJP unleashes a flurry of offense, complete with a 619 style dropkick to the face and flying crossbody for 2. Elgin avoids a GTS and they trade submission counters until Elgin rolls into a crossface. TJP escapes and hits GTS for only 2! Elgin escapes a head submission and hits the Kryptonite Krunch on the apron! Elgin nails a dead lift super spinebuster and rolls into a crossface!!! TJP ducks a lariat and rolls into a fancy headscissors, but Elgin powers into a nasty dead lift buckle bomb! TJP counters with a powerbomb and STO! Elgin gets the ropes and nailsa hard lariat for 2. Elgin lifts TJP up for another lariat and buckle bomb! Elgin's sitout powebomb ends it at 17:06! I forget sometimes just how good these two are and they proved themselves yet again tonight with innovative moves and just tremendous action from bell to bell. Elgin gets to look monstrous in victory too, ****.
Winner: Michael Elgin
Final Thoughts: I enjoyed this. Sue me. Thumbs up!
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