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TNA Impact! - May 1, 2008
by Sassy CROSS THE LINE

THE EGOTISTICAL EIGHT

iMPACT is broadcast from Universal Studios, Orlando, FL on the Spike TV Network

Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West

Ring announcer: David Penzer

Ringside valet: SoCal Val

Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash and Lauren

Curry Man from Japan & Shark Boy from the Deep Blue Sea
Vs.
Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley, The Motor City Machineguns from Detroit, MI

Referee: Earl Hebner
I didnít hear an announcement that this was a qualifying match for the tag team tournament. Shelley grabs a fan sign from the audience and carries it into the ring to show everyone the MMG do have fans in the audience. Curry and Sabin begin the match. Great moves and counter moves before Sabin drops Curry with a drop kick and tags in Shelley. Shelley takes a bite out of Curry and decides heís a little too spicy. Shelly tags in Sabin and the two do a little double-teaming. Shark enters the ring and he gets caught by Sabin & Shelley. Curry is back on his feet and he sends Shelley out of the floor and goes after Sabin but Sabin fights back. Curry tags in Shark and Shark attempts to stomp a mud hole in Sabin. Shark tags in Curry and Curry delivers a squash to Sabin in the corner, Shelley distracts Curry who has gone up to the top turnbuckle and gives Sabin a chance to bring Curry down to the mat. Both men are down, but Sabin rolls over to tag in Shelley. Shelley comes off the top turnbuckle with a dropkick to take down Curry, then knocks Shark off the ring apron. Shelley delivers a double DDT to Shark and Curry. Shelley sends Curry and Shark to the floor outside and then Shelly and Sabin deliver a double suicide dive. As they are getting back in the ring, Big Poppa Pumpís entrance music begins and Steiner, Petey Williams and Rhaka Khan enter the arena. Actual match time: 5 minutes

Winners: Mike Tenay says that the referee has called it a draw.

Williams charges into the ring and gets taken down by MMG but Steiner enters the ring and takes out MMG. Shark and Curry enter the ring and Steiner drops Curry while Williams takes out Shark with the Canadian destroyer. Steiner has the mic and he addresses Kurt Angle, telling him that Steiner does not like to be disrespected. The audience is busy with ďyou suckĒ chants. Steiner tells Angle he will beat him and then he will take his gold medals and make Angle his bitch. Angleís entrance theme begins and he charges into the ring at Steiner. Angle goes after Steiner and when Williams tries to intervene, Angle throws Williams over the top rope with a belly-to-belly suplex. Angle now has Steiner in the ankle lock and Steiner is tapping out, but Williams enters the ring with a pipe and takes Angle out. Steiner goes to work on Angleís neck and Samoa Joe charges into the ring. Joe takes out Steiner and Williams. Tenay informs the audience that later tonight Joe and Angle will be tag team partners in a qualifying match.

No matter how many times I see Shelley and Sabin in the ring, I never have a complaint about their abilities. Curry man and Shark Boy have a lot of talent but MMG is such a coordinated team that it takes a little away from their opponents. I donít like the fact that this match didnít go to a finish.

Jeremy Borash is in the back with AJ Styles. JB asks Styles what he is going to do. Jim Cornette has told Styles that if he doesnít find a tag team partner for tonight that he is out of the tournament. Styles tells JB that it isnít his fault that Tomko went to Japan and then got hurt and that Styles had told Tomko not to go. Styles asks JB how Angle found out about his wife last week. Cornette comes out of his office and tells JB that at the end of the show, he is going to introduce the 8 singles wrestlers that will be joining the 4 tag teams at the Deuces Wild Tournament scheduled for Sacrifice. Styles tells Cornette that he needs more time to find a partner. Cornette tells Styles that he has a little over an hour to find a partner.

Tenay is in the ring and he introduces Angelina Love and Velvet Sky. I have no idea WHY iMPACT is being interrupted for this, but it isÖTenay asks about the Makeover Battle Royal scheduled for Sacrifice. O.D.B. and Gail Kim appear to shut up ďthe beautiful peopleĒ. ODB pushes Love to the mat and Kim shoves Sky to the mat. Tenay bails out of the ring and the four women decide to brawl. Sky rolls out of the ring with Love right behind her. ODB tells the two hookers since they donít seem to have any customers tonight, they should meet back in the ring in about 30 minutes. There appeared to have been a problem with Loveís shirt as in she may have popped out of it but I canít be certain because the camera sort of fuzzed it out of focus.

JB is still with Styles who is attempting to find a partner for tonight. Styles sees Angle and Angle wants to know if Styles has talked to Karen lately. Styles says no and Angle says to keep it that way. JB and Styles enter Booker Tís dressing room. Booker is on the phone but Styles asks Booker if he wants to be his tag team partner. Booker doesnít appear to know who is Styles is and Styles tries to explain. Booker tells them to leave and they do.

Lauren is in the back with Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash (Nash is holding Joeís belt). Joe says that he is looking forward to the three-way match at Sacrifice.

Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Qualifying Match
Kaz & Showtime Eric Young
Vs.
Homicide & Hernandez, The Latin American Exchange
With Salinas

Referee: Andrew Thomas
I understand that Young is popular with TNA fans but I donít understand why Kaz is being pushed in matches with Young. Kaz is a fantastic rising star and putting him in matches that end up being showpieces for Youngís comedy is truly a waste of time and talent. The match begins with Hernandez facing Young. Young tags in Kaz and Hernandez tags in Homicide. Kaz goes for a cover but canít get the three count. Hernandez comes over the top rope and takes out Kaz, Homicide goes for the cover but Hernandez distracts the referee and Kaz kicks out. Homicide tags in Hernandez and Kaz could be in serious trouble but Kaz fights back to break a bear hug. Kaz springs off the ropes for a cross body block but Hernandez catches him and delivers a sit down power bomb and goes for the pin. Young enters the ring to break it up and Hernandez tags in Homicide. Homicide goes for the cover and gets a two count before tagging in Hernandez. Kaz manages to counter Homicide coming off the top rope. Kaz manages to tag in Young who tries to pin Homicide but he only gets a two count. Hernandez sends Kaz over the top rope and Homicide goes for the roll up on Young getting the win. Time: 6 minutes

Winners: Homicide with a roll up & Hernandez of LAX

I didnít try to do a play by play of this match because when Kaz and Homicide were in the ring, I found I wasnít typingÖI was watching the match intently. These two men are great competitors and I like watching both of them with their unique wrestling style. Homicide has a mic and calls out Hector Guerrero who is at the Spanish announcerís table. Guerrero stands up, takes off his headset and his glasses and heads toward the ring and we go to commercial break. Back to iMPACT, Homicide tells Guerrero that they have studied wrestling tapes for years, especially Guerreroís brother Eddie. Homicide says that they have so much respect for Eddie and his Guerrero brothers. Homicide tells Guerrero that they respect him and at Sacrifice LAX wants Guerrero in their corner. Guerrero tells LAX that he will be in their corner at Sacrifice.

Lauren is in Cornetteís office with Traci Brooks. Iím not sure what that was about but Brooks leaves the office and Matt Morgan enters. Morgan wants to be one of the 8 men that will be involved in the Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament. Kip James appears and goes after Morgan. Cornette tries to break it up and he gets shoved out of the way and Security appears to stop the brawl.

JB and Styles are backstage where Styles is still looking for a tag team partner. Now Styles is at Nashís door and he goes in to see Nash who is with Christy Hemme. Hemme leaves and Styles asks Nash to be his partner in the tournament. Nash tells Styles that the really big money is in being the heavyweight champion, not the tag team champion.

Tag Team Grudge Match
Angelina Love & Velvet Sky
Vs.
Gail Kim from Tampa, FL & O.D.B. from Minneapolis, MN

Referee: Rudy Charles
ODB and Love start off the match with chants of ODB from the audience. I enjoy watching ODB and Gail Kim in the ring but am not a big fan of Love or Sky. Love doesnít last long. She tags in Sky and ODB tags in Kim. Kim takes it to Sky but gets nailed in the back by Love. ODB enters the ring and that gives Love the opportunity to take another hit at Kim and we go to COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH! Back from the break, Love is in the ring with Kim. Kim doesnít appear to be doing well. Love takes a shot at ODB on the ring apron, ODB again tries to enter the ring and gives Sky and Love a chance to double team Kim again while the ref is distracted by ODB. Kim goes for a roll up, gets a two count, goes for a second roll up and gets another two count. Love goes for a cover and gets a two count. Both women are down on the mat and the audience is yelling for ODB to get the tag. Kim makes the tag as Love tags in Sky. ODB faces Sky and Love in the ring. Sky nails ODB in the back but ODB comes off the middle rope to get a two count before Love breaks it up. Kim goes after Love and sends her out of the ring. Kim goes out after Love as ODB delivers a running power slam, goes for the cover and gets the three count. Time: 6 minutes

Winners: O.D.B. with a running power slam & Gail Kim

After the match, Love enters the ring and attacks Kim, then throws ODB out of the ring onto the floor. Love beats on Kim in the ring but ODB is back and Kim and ODB go after Love but Love bails out of the ring and out of harmís way. Roxxi Laveaux comes down the entrance ramp and she goes after Love, rolling her into the ring and then goes in after her. Kim and ODB are still in the ring and Love is now surrounded. Laveaux delivers the voodoo drop. ODB offers shots from her flask to Laveaux and Kim.

JB is with Robert Roode, Cowboy James Storm and Jacqueline. Storm is apologizing to Roode who says not to worry about it. Roode is reading the financial section of the paper, which confuses Storm. Styles shows up to try to find a partner for his match and he has a bottle of booze (it appears to be wine) and Storm says he canít trust Styles. Roode gets in Styles face and tells him to back off. Roode says that neither of them will be Styles partner tonight and tells him to go find someone else. Someone appears and Styles asks if they will be his partner and undoubtedly they agree but they are out of camera range so we donít know who it is.

Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Qualifying Match
Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave, Rock Ďn Rave Infection
With Christy Hemme
Vs.
The Prince of Phenomenal AJ Styles & Super Eric from Metropolis

Referee: Earl Hebner
Arenít we overdoing it just a little with Eric Young being in both qualifying matches? Styles and Rave start off the match. Styles takes down Rave immediately and goes for the cover but canít get the three count. Styles tags in Super Eric and Rave tags in Hoyt. Styles tags himself in and Styles and Super Eric do a little double-teaming before Styles goes for a cover. Hoyt kicks out and tags in Rave. It doesnít take long before Styles drops Rave with a dropkick. I have been more that a little disappointed in the time Jimmy Rave has been in the ring since he arrived at TNA. Hemme trips Styles, Rave tags in Hoyt and Hoyt goes for the cover. He gets a two count before tagging in Rave. Rave goes for a cover but Styles kicks out. Styles delivers a peleg and tags in Super Eric. Super Eric takes down Rave and when Hoyt enters the ring, Super Eric takes him down, too. Super Eric delivers a clothesline and goes for the cover on Rave. He gets a two count. Super Eric goes for a roll up as Styles takes out Hoyt. Super Eric goes for the Death Valley driver, goes for the pin and gets the win. Time: 5 minutes

Winners: Super Eric with a Death Valley driver & The Prince of Phenomenal AJ Styles

I know Rave is better in the ring than the TNA fans have seen in the TNA ring to date. Iím sure Lance Hoyt can do a better job in the ring than TNA allows but I have never seen him outside the TNA ring so I canít vouch for his talent. I enjoy Styles in the ring but this match appears to be another joke of a match than a real match. TNA appears to be more concerned with comedy ratings than wrestling ratings.

JB is backstage with Sting and Sting wants to know why TNA is a loony bin. Sting says he doesnít know who he can trust and who he canít. JB wants to know what that means and Sting says its time for the egotistical eight to see what Cornette has up his sleeve.

Tenay and Don West inform the audience about the newest structure that will be used at Sacrifice. Itís called The Terror Dome. From what I could see, the Terror Dome appears to be a structure like one that is used by AAA in Mexico.

Daisy Haze from Forest Park, IL
Vs.
Cheerleader Melissa from San Francisco, CA

Referee: Rudy Charles
I have seen Daisy Haze in action in the Ring of Honor. Sheís very good even though she has a slight build. I have not seen Cheerleader Melissa in action in the ring but I understand that she is an awesome talent. My biggest fear, of course, is whether or not TNA will allow these two women to use their talent in the iMPACT ring. Time: 2 minutes

Winner: Cheerleader Melissa Ė I donít know what the finishing move was called but it certainly looked effective.

I didnít do any writing during the match because I wanted to watch the entire two minutes (two minutes?). I was impressed that it appeared to be a wrestling match and even though it was short lived, it gave the audience an impression of how well these girls can work the ring. To the best of my knowledge, Haze has not worked in a ring shaped like the TNA ring and she did a very good job in the time allotted.

Lauren is backstage with Scott Steiner, Petey Williams & Rhaka Khan. She asks about the tag team match they have tonight against Joe and Angle. Iím not sure exactly how Steiner comes up with his chances of winnings by percentages. Khan looks like sheís a little bored to be at the zone tonight.

Main Event:
Maple Leaf Muscle Petey Williams from Windsor, Ontario, Canada, X Division Champion
& Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner from Detroit, MI with Rhaka Khan
Vs.
Kurt Angle from Pittsburgh, PA &
Samoa Submission Machine Samoa Joe from American Samoa
TNA World Heavyweight Champion

Referee: Andrew Thomas
Williams and Joe start off the match but Williams gets dropped in a hurry. Williams is in trouble. Joe tags in Angle. Angle goes for the cover and gets a two count but Williams goes for a cover and gets a two count. Williams tags in Steiner. Angle delivers a belly-to-belly suplex and drops Steiner. Angle tags in Joe but Steiner takes down Joe. Joe reverses the move and takes down Steiner but Williams has tagged himself into the match and he delivers a dropkick that sends Joe to the mat and we go to COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MAIN EVENT. Back to the match, Steiner is in the ring with Joe and he goes for a pin. Steiner gets a two count before Joe gets a shoulder up. Steiner tags in Williams. Williams comes off the ropes and gets dropped to the mat but Steiner nails Joe in the back as he tries to come off the ropes. Williams goes for a cover and Joe kicks out. Williams tags in Steiner. Joe comes off the ropes and Steiner takes Joe back down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Joe manages to slam Steiner to the mat, but Williams catches Joe and delivers a blow that drops Joe to the mat. Steiner gets to the ropes and tags in Williams who comes off the top rope but Joe gets a boot up to stop Williams. Joe doesnít tag in Angle, he flips Angle off instead. Joe takes down Williams. Joe goes for a cover but Steiner breaks it up. Angle comes in to take out Steiner and then attacks Joe but Joe manages to deliver the muscle buster and pin Williams for the three count. Time: 8 minutes

Winners: Samoa Joe, in spite of his tag team partner, with a muscle buster & Kurt Angle

After the match, Angle again attacks Joe, delivering a German suplex and then going for the ankle lock. Steiner enters the ring with the pipe and Angle bails out of the ring but Steiner uses the pipe on Joe instead. Steiner has the title belt in his hand. JB catches up with Cornette in the back and we go to

Cornette is in the ring to talk about the tag team tournament at Sacrifice. He has the tag team title belts in the ring on a table. Cornette is going to announce the eight individuals who will be paired at random to form tag teams: Matt Morgan, Kip James, BG James, Cowboy James Storm with Jacqueline, Booker T, Robert Roode, Sting and Awesome Kong (TNA Knockout Champion).

The men all look confused when Kong is announced. Iím a little confused, too. Although Iíd like to see Awesome Kong kick some butt in the ring, doesnít TNA have a rule against women vs. men?

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