Impact Wrestling -March 6, 2015
by Samoa Rowe
-From Manchester, England. Our hosts are Josh Mathews and Taz.
-The Beat Down Clan comes to the ring to talk. Their new public enemy #1 is Drew Galloway, who helped cost MVP his title match against Bobby Lashley. After issuing a series of generic threats, they invite Galloway to the ring to explain himself. Drew channels his inner Roman Reigns by appearing in the stands (except the fans actually like him) and cuts a promo putting over the fans and his actions. Drew proves himself to be a capable talker, but his material is the same old “I’m a pro wrestler, not sports entertainer” type shtick that’s been all the rage since the CM Punk pipe bomb promo. Drew wants a fight, and Kenny King asks his BDC brothers to let him take the challenge.
Drew Galloway vs. Kenny King
King manages a cheap shot and gains an early advantage. Galloway pops out of the corner with a clothesline and lights King up with a chop. Snap suplex by Drew sends King retreating to the floor. Galloway sneaks up on King and drops him on the steel barricade. They exchange chops but Kenny rakes the eyes. Galloway counters with a tilt-a-whirl slam onto the ring frame! King shakes it off (well, no-sells) and comes back with a leg drop on the apron. Drew breaks a chinlock and scores a running boot, but King counters a second boot with a cradle suplex for 2. Kenny slaps the face, which only motivates Drew to rally with a flurry of offense. A flying clothesline by Galloway nearly ends it. King comes back with a springboard blockbuster. Drew breaks a backslide and finishes with the FutureShock DDT at 6:31. Indie-riffic performance from King, but Drew looks like he’s ready to be a main player, **.Winner: Drew Galloway
-The BDC attempt a group ambush on Galloway, but he slides out of the ring before anything can happen.
-Bobby Roode comes to the ring for an interview. He’s still mad at Eric Young, but despite everything, he’s still standing. Roode is determined to regain the TNA title and no man can stand in his way. Kurt Angle appears on the stage and says he’s going to get in Roode’s way. They tease a fight, but Eric Young sneaks in for an ambush on Roode. Kurt separates Eric and they start throwing punches. Roode interrupts and tosses Young to the floor. These three square off in a triple threat #1 contenders match later.
-James Storm tries to recruit Bram for the Revolution. I keep waiting for Storm to start singing “He’s got the whole world in his hands” as he looks more like Bray Wyatt with every passing week. Memo to TNA: that’s not a good thing. Also, Storm isn’t even remotely convincing in this role, after years of watching him on TNA television as a beer-swilling redneck. I would go as far as saying that James Storm and the Revolution is the single weakest element of TNA on the creative side of things.
Bram vs. Matt Hardy
If I were in charge at WWE, I’d be making Matt Hardy an offer to come work with the NXT crew. If they’ll rehire Brain Kendrick, then why not? Bell rings and Hardy gets a hot start, knocking Bram into multiple turnbuckles. Clothesline/bull dog sequence by Hardy sends Bram to the floor for a breather. Matt pursues and Bram drives him into the ring frame to gain control. Matt defiantly slaps the face but Bram retains his advantage with a spin kick. Matt rebounds with the Side Effect for a 2 count. Hardy nails a moonsault but Bram kicks out. Bram manages the Brighter Side of Suffering DDT for the upset victory at 3:58. Lively match, just too short to amount to much, *¾.Winner: Bram
-Bram prepares to inflict more pain on Hardy but Magnus makes his surprise return for the save. Bram retreats, leaving Magnus to cut a pandering promo to his hometown fans.
-Rockstar Spud tells Mr. Anderson that he’s got to finish things himself.
-Drew Galloway reiterates his talking points to the roaming camera. He thinks groups like the BDC turns people off from wrestling.
-Rockstar Spud comes to the ring dressed in a Union Jack tuxedo. Spud says the last few months have been the worst of his life, but the thing that got him through it were the fans. He challenges EC3 to come to the ring on his own for a confrontation. Ethan Carter III answers the call, and Tyrus is nowhere to be seen. Spud gives Carter a piece of his mind and wants a match. EC3 says Spud isn’t good enough to challenge him and reminds us that he’s undefeated. Spud cuts him off, yelling about how he helped Carter win all those matches. Now, Spud wants to end EC3’s streak. Carter is willing to fight Spud in London, but only if he can shave Spud’s head after he wins. Spud accepts, but only if Carter puts his hair on the line too. I kind of hate myself for this, but I’m looking forward to the match.
TNA Knockouts Championship:
Taryn Terrell © vs. Awesome Kong
Terrell leaps right into Kong, but gets knocked off. Taryn runs into an avalanche and Kong puts the boots to her. Terrell regains her footing but runs into a shoulder tackle. Kong serves a running avalanche into the corner. Taryn’s flying clothesline has zero effect and Kong nails a power slam. Kong misses a charge, and Terrell fires away with mounted punches. Kong gets her neck snapped on the ropes and Terrell’s flying cross body gets a 1 count. Kong blocks the Taryn Cutter twice. Kong loses her temper choking Taryn in the ropes and shoves off the referee to earn a disqualification at 4:43. Kong was completely squashing Terrell, who looks like an unworthy champion coming out of this, *.Winner via DQ and still Knockouts Champion: Taryn Terrell
-Kong, who apparently turned heel but didn’t tell anyone, prepares an Implant Buster on the floor, but Gail Kim makes the save.
TNA Tag Team Championship:
The Revolution (James Storm and Abyss) © vs. The Wolves (Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards)
Storm and Abyss come to the ring alone, allowing Khoya, Sanada, and Manik to ambush the Wolves during their entrance. The Wolves have to fight from behind, but arrange for Storm and Abyss to have a miscue. The other Revolution members prevent the Wolves from taking to the air and they lose their momentum. Abyss misses a splash on Richards, but ringside shenanigans cost the Wolves a tag. I’d be more specific, but the cameras seem to miss everything. Edwards soon gets a hot tag anyway and cleans house. Backpack Chinbreaker on Storm gets a 2 count for Eddie. The Wolves double team Storm, but interference sets up Edwards flying into Storm’s Lung Buster. Storm’s spinning Razor’s Edge only gets 2 on Eddie. Matt Hardy shows up to even the odds, but Storm nails a neck breaker on Edwards. The Wolves rebound to clear the ring and hit at least a half dozen suicide dives onto various Revolution members. Manik and Sanada’s interference backfires when Manik gets a face full of green mist. Hardy prevents a cow bell from being used and hit’s the Twist of Fate on Abyss. The Wolves finish with the flying double stomp at 8:02. Ridiculous overbooked spot-fest that felt like it was being presented on fast-forward. Complete and utter mess, *.Winners and still TNA Tag Team Champions: The Wolves
-Matt Hardy congratulates The Wolves, but insists on getting a title shot once Jeff Hardy is healthy again. The Wolves say it would be a privilege to defend against the Hardy Boyz
#1 Contenders Match:
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle
This match is supposedly based on the TNA Top 5 rankings, which begs the question of why the #1 name on the list doesn’t just get a title shot? Seems to me, like the rankings mean nothing if the top 3 names all get the same opportunity in this match. I digress.
Roode doesn’t want to wait for Angle and chases Young out of the ring. Roode and Young start brawling during a commercial break. Angle catches Roode with a German suplex. Bobby lands a blockbuster on Kurt, but Eric breaks them up. Eric gets to set the pace for a bit. Eric sets up a superplex on Roode, prompting Angle to sneak in a power bomb. I remember when I used to pop for that spot. Angle delivers TEN rolling Germans to Eric. That would be awesome if I weren’t’ distracted fearing for Kurt’s health. Roode catches Angle in the crossface, but it’s reversed into an ankle lock. Roode counters, but Young returns. Roode blocks a Piledriver and hits a spinebuster, but Angle surprises with the Angle Slam for 2. Kurt puts Young in the ankle lock until Roode interrupts, only to get caught in the ankle lock too. They tumble into the ref, who takes a bump. This allows a chair shot on Roode from Young, Kurt didn’t see it and hit’s the Angle Slam on Bobby for the win at 8:50. That was a somewhat interesting finish. In a vacuum, this was a good match, but I’m not sure that Kurt Angle needs to be the one having this sort of match in 2015. Aside from the 10 Germans, this also a typical triple threat, **½.
Winner: Kurt Angle
-TNA Champion Bobby Lashley shows up to applaud Kurt and have an obligatory stare down heading into their title match.
Final Thoughts: Okay-at-best episode. I appreciate that they’re building to a big London taping, but the lack of having pay-per-views (or quarterly specials) to build up to is a hindrance on this program. Thumbs in the middle.
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