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UWF Fury Hour - November 12, 1990
by Scrooge McSuck
- We're back with more UWF action. Taped on October 11th from the Reseda Country Club in Reseda, CA, with Herb Abrams and Bruno Sammartino calling the "action", unless otherwise noted. Advertised for this week is Billy Jack Haynes taking on Col. DeBeers, and the referee of the match is scheduled to be Larry Sampson. If you've missed out on the previous recaps of the UWF Fury Hour, that would be the referee who Col. DeBeers doesn't quite like. I honestly don't know why he would discriminate against a random referee, unless it's for the color of his skin... what, you expected me to just casually say "Col. DeBeers is racist?"
[Note: Last week, I was surprised to see Andre the Giant was brought in for an appearance, and I guess Vince McMahon brought him back to be in the Royal Rumble (which obviously didn't happen after all) to keep him from possibly drawing attention to any other promotion.]
"Dr. Death" Steve Williams vs. Robbie Allen:
Based on a promo last week from Paul Orndorff detailing an incident that didn't actually happen, they still have some beef to work out. Lockup and Williams throws Allen down. Williams with a lift and slam, dropping poor Mr. Allen on the top of his head. Williams sends him from corner to corner and surprises me with a standing dropkick. Press slam, followed by a running clothesline. Dr. Death with a snap suplex into a cover, but he decides to work the arm than take the three count. Once again, I can only assume he's being paid by the minute. The action spills to the floor (and by action, I mean complete destruction) with Williams ramming Allen into the post and planting him with a slam. Too bad he didn't go down with him, or that would've been an Oklahoma Stampede. Back inside, Williams continues to slap him around. He plants Allen with a slam and comes out of the corner to clip the knee. Oklahoma Stampede finishes at 5:09. Can't say Williams didn't give the crowd a show with that squash.
- UWF Fury Hour is sponsored by Rocky V, coming to theaters on November 16th (GO FOR IT!).
- Larry Zbyszko is in the UWF because they have the competition he likes (and checks that haven't bounced... yet). It was only a few months earlier that Zbyszko was the last AWA World Champion, at least when it came to first-run television that AWA produced for ESPN.
Bob Orton Jr. vs. Stephen DeLeon:
Orton's only action in the UWF has involved a "feature match" with Paul Orndorff on the October 22nd episode
. After a long lockup, Orton takes DeLeon down with a waist-lock and hooks a front face-lock. Somehow I don't think Col. DeBeers would approve of the referee for this match, either. Orton with a running punt that misses by a mile (so that's where Randy learned it from!). Orton pounds away and hooks a twisting chin-lock. DeLeon with rights to the midsection to force a break. He gets a flurry of rights in the corner, but the comeback is killed with a boot to the face. Orton plays to the crowd before coming off the middle rope with a strike to the throat. The crowd chants "Super-Plex" as we take it to the floor. Who knew the UWF had a "heel section" too? Back inside, Orton with a press slam into a back breaker. Super-Plex finally finishes at 5:48. Bruno considers that a no doubter. You don't say, Bruno! Post-match, Orton cuts a promo (with poor sound) about having unfinished business with Mr. Wonderful.
- There's a new feature coming to UWF TV in December, called "Ask The Wrestlers". If your question is used on the air, you'll receive a UWF T-Shirt and Cap!
"Killer Bee" B. Brian Blair (w/ Honey) vs. Louie Spicolli:
Bob Orton has yet to leave the ring, waiting for Paul Orndorff to answer his challenge, so now he's getting in the face of Brian Blair. John Tolos comes to the ring to talk to Orton and bring him back to the dressing room... then makes an unfriendly gesture towards Blair. Abrams describing the scene is a complete mess, trying to play stupid even though he narrated everything that happened. AND WHAT ABOUT DANNY SPIVEY!?! Lockup and Spicolli with an arm drag. He celebrates by doing a goofy dance. Blair with a fireman's carry into an arm-bar, but Spicolli makes it to the ropes. Blair with a pair of arm drags, sending Spicolli to the floor. Abrams can't decide whether or not Blair's valet is named "Honey" or "Queen Bee." Whip to the corner and Blair with a back drop. Spicolli escapes and I notice there's an elevated ramp on the left side of the main camera. Spicollo with a comedy spot trying to re-enter the ring. Blair with a clothesline and second rope elbow, complete with Bee theatrics. Suplex and elbow drop. Whip to the ropes and a Power-Slam. Blair with a Reverse Figure-Four for the submission victory at 4:09. That hold looked terrible, but otherwise a fine squash. How dare they try and have an entertaining match!
- Build a time machine and buy UWF Merchandise! If only Pro Wrestling subscription boxes existed in 1990...
- Captain's Corner with Lou Albano. His guest is John Tolos, and he gets into a screaming match with him within seconds. This was OK, but would've been better had Albano been dressed up as Mario. Tolos threatens to take over the Captain's show next week and the UWF. Maybe they could call it Tolos' Tipi?
Nikita Koloff vs. "Spitball" Patterson:
How can you have someone named Spitball and NOT give him a baseball uniform? At least Vince McMahon got that right with Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz. The last time we saw Nikita, he was feuding with his Uncle Ivan. Sign in the crowd: Send Nikita to Siberia. Lockup into the corner and Koloff with a clean break. Patterson complaining about a hair pull falls on deaf ears. Whip to the ropes and Nikita with a shoulder tackle. Patterson with a rake of the eyes and a weak axe-handle smash across the back. Nikita side-steps a charge into the corner and pounds away with rights. Whip to the ropes and Koloff with a diving shoulder tackle. The Russian Sickle finishes at 2:53. Koloff was NOT being paid by the minute, keeping this much brisker than Williams and Orton.
"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs. The Grappler:
No, not THAT Grappler. This is just a generic masked jobber. For whatever reason, Orndorff's ring entrance is not shown. Lockup into the ropes and Orndorff gives a clean break. Grappler rakes the eyes, so Orndorff kicks him on the chest and pounds away. He tosses the Grappler to the floor and takes him over with a suplex onto the very thin protective mat. Back inside, Orndorff sends Grappler to the ropes and takes his head off with a clothesline. Orndorff with the Piledriver to finish things off at 1:23. Maybe Orndorff was being paid by the second.
Billy Jack Haynes vs. Col. DeBeers:
Feature Match of the Week, with Larry Sampson refereeing the match despite DeBeers disapproval. DeBeers has words, possibly unkind ones, for Sampson, ordering him out of the ring. Haynes attacks before the bell and sends DeBeers into the corner. Whip to the ropes and Haynes with an elbow. DeBeers over-sells a knee lift so spectacularly, I couldn't help but grab a screenshot...
Seriously, how does physics allow that trajectory? Anyway... Haynes with a slam, followed by a shoulder tackle. DeBeers catches him coming off the ropes again and drops him across the top rope. They take it to the floor, with DeBeers dropping his face across the security rail. DeBeers with a slingshot beneath the bottom rope. DeBeers with choking across the middle rope and splash to the back. Haynes teases a comeback, but its cut off quickly. DeBeers takes a slow trip to the top rope and gets slammed off. Haynes with another knee lift with an over-sell. Whip to the corner and Haynes follows in with a clothesline. They do a crisscross spot with the referee getting in the way, and DeBeers accidentally on purpose shoving Sampson into Haynes. Haynes hooks the Full Nelson, but DeBeers kicks Sampson before he could submit, so it's a Disqualification at 8:09, awarded to Billy Jack Haynes.
Post-match, Sampson accuses DeBeers of deliberately striking him, so DeBeers attacks from behind and lays him out with a DDT before another referee comes out to yell at him. DeBeers spits on poor Larry Sampson to add insult to injury. *1/4 Match was competent, but dull.
- Next Week on the UWF Fury Hour... The Wild Thing, "Cowboy" Bob Orton, "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff, Larry Zbyszko, and "The World's Nightmare" Ken Patera wants to get in the face of "The Russian Nightmare" Nikita Koloff. Dammit, not another Ken Patera match! He somehow tries to sound tough by comparing Koloff to RICE KRISPIES.
Final Thoughts: There's a mild sense of continuity: Dr. Death and Mr. Wonderful have beef, John Tolos apparently is going to have Bob Orton go after Brian Blair after his Bounty Hunter failed, and Col. DeBeers continues to make everyone uncomfortable with his racially insensitive act. The squash matches weren't too tough to sit through, but I don't look forward to another featured match with Ken Patera.
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