IWCCW - Episode #2
by Scrooge McSuck
- Welcome to Part 2 in our trip down memory lane for the company known as International World Class Championship Wrestling (IWCCW, for short), a hybrid name that joined the ICW and the WCCW brand. Last time we got to see some pretty bad wrestling, bad production work, and some even worse promos and personalities... Curly Moe, anyone? At least it was all entertaining enough to poke fun at... will this episode hold such an honor?
- We open with an advertisement for the greatest stars of today: Ivan Putski, Bob Orton Jr., Ken Patera, Mondo Kleen, Curly Moe, "Ravishing" Rick Rude, The Honkytonk Man, and Surfer Ray Oddysey. Write to I.W.C.C.W. at P.O. Box 6314, Parsippany, NJ 07054 if you want to book the IWCCW for profitable charity events... saying that out loud just doesn't sound quite write. Nice of them to advertise stars of the 90's like IVAN PUTSKI and KEN PATERA. I could make fun of Orton and Honky, too, but at least they were mostly semi-active still.
- Brian Webster is in the IWCCW Control Center and immediately throws us to "last week's Main Event", without refering to what we're going to see... remember, these episodes are nonsequential, so we hopefully won't be seeing that tag team match featuring Tommy Dreamer and the Brooklyn Brawler, again....
IWCCW Heavyweight Championship Match:
"Mr. USA" Tony Atlas © vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine:
I was hoping we would see Atlas winning the title from Vic Steamboat. This is a sort-of return match to their WWF days, when Tony Atlas, working under the name of Saba Simba, defeated Greg Valentine at Madison Square Garden... the loss was such an embarrassment, Valentine turned babyface and started losing to everyone. We appear to be joined slightly in progress. Judging from the lockup, Atlas is working as a heel. After some stalling, Valentine goes to work on the arm. Atlas with the headlock and shoulder tackle combo, followed by a headbutt, complete with the tree toppling in the woods selling from the Hammer. Valentine catches Atlas off the ropes with an elbow, then drops several more across the chest, sending Atlas to the floor for a breather.
We come back from a commercial break, but not before Koko B. Ware tells us to write to IWCCW to enquire about becoming an IWCCW wrestler, and Pro Wrestling Illustrated shills their 900-Hotline. In a case of HORRIBLE editing, THEY REPEAT EVERYTHING SINCE ATLAS' HEADLOCK! That's just incredibly lazy editing and production. At least we don't cut to another break. That would've been comedy gold. Just repeat the same two-minute sequence, hoping nobody would notice. Back in the ring, and they do a test of strength, or as Brian Webster calls it, "playing mercy." I never thought I'd long for Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred, but they would make this match much better. Dastardly heel Atlas uses the STRING seperating the crowd from the ring to choke Valentine. Back inside, Atlas grabs a chinlock as the crowd of 20 people rally behind the Hammer.
Valentine escapes with elbows and chops. Atlas selling seems more appropriate for a comedic Super Nintendo boxing game. Valentine wraps the leg around the post, because it's a very babyface thing to do. Valentine's entire arsenal of moves for the match has been elbow, chop, and the one headlock. Atlas lays Valentine out with an International World Class Foreign Object, drawing a Disqualification at "12:47", and I say that in quotations because of the cheap attempt at extending the match by repeating several minutes of it after returning from a commercial. It's not hard to say this stank, but even early-mid 90's Valentine was more capable than what he gave out here, even if his opponent didn't bring much to the table.
- Barry Horowitz wants us to watch him on IWCCW!
"Gorgeous" Gary Royal vs. "Downtown" Denny Brown:
This looks like it's from anything but an IWCCW show. I see South Atlantic Wrestling on the banner in the background, but who knows. I recognize both of them from being scrubs in Jim Crockett's NWA and later in WCW. Lockup into the ropes, and we get a clean break. Royal grabs a headlock and comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Brown counters a headlock with a head scissors. Royal slips free and grabs a front facelock. Brown counters again, and it's back to a neutral position. Brown with the headlock and shoulder tackle spot, and they go through the same sequence, roles reversed. Royal with choking across the top rope. Whip to the ropes and he takes a shot to the throat. Royal connects with a back breaker and covers for two. Whip to the counter, Brown misses a charge. Royal remains in control, taking Brown over with a snapmare. He drops elbows, but misses on the third attempt. Brown offers a comeback, but Royal cuts it off pretty quickly. Whip to the ropes and a clothesline gets two. Brown with another comeback until a DDT puts his lights out at 7:12. That was overly long, with the last half of the match being entirely controlled by Royal. It started OK, then decided to build itself into a typical squash match.Dr. Johnny Wildside (w/ Nurse Vanessa) vs. The Jobber of the Week:
This isn't a repeat of last weeks squash, it's a completely new match for all you fans of Johnny Wildside to enjoy! Much like the match against El Diablo, we waste time with Nurse Vanessa taking Wildside's vitals. You would think a Dr. wouldn't need his nurse to tell him his health is fine, but that's why I'm not in the field of medicine. And again, just like last week, the Jobber is distracted by the nurse's "attractive" figure, allowing Wildside to attack him from behind and grab a sleeper hold for the victory at 33-seconds.Jumpin' Joe Savoldi vs. Ronnie Money:
Sorry if the name of the scrub is incorrect, the broadcast team is suffering from marble mouth madness, and the ring introductions only show Savoldi's. Savoldi is the reigning Light-Heavyweight Champion, having defeated the Tasmaniac for the strap on December 26th, 1991, in my hometown of Monticello, NY. That would place this match somewhere between that and May of 1992. I didn't know "Light-Heavyweight" was such a difficult term, as the lead commentator constantly flubs his lines when saying it. Savoldi starts with a German Suplex for a two count. Savoldi goes to work with the wristlock, then takes him over with a hammerlock into a cover for two. Whip to the ropes, fist to the midsection, and Savoldi follows with a snap suplex. Savoldi with the Fisherman Suplex, and that's enough for the three count at 1:46. Just a squash, but Savoldi looked good for the little we saw. He WAS pretty much running the company, so... you know...Dusty Wolfe vs. Mike Sampson (w/ G.Q. Stratus & Kevin Casey):
Sampson and Stratus are a tag team known as the Billion Dollar Babies. Their manager, whose name I didn't catch until later on, looks like a poor man's Diamond Dallas Page (from that era, of course). Last time we saw Wolfe, he had a hard time with Mondo Kleen. Will he have better success against one half of one of the top tag teams in IWCCW? Lockup, Wolfe grabs a headlock. Sampson with a hip toss, and Wolfe responds with a drop toe hold before going back to the headlock. Sampson blocks a roll up attempt, but a dropkick sends him to the floor for a breather. Lockup to the corner, Sampsons takes Wolfe over with a snapmare and grabs a chinlock. Dusty tries to fight to his feet, but handfuls of hair keeps him grounded. Wolfe with elbows to the midsection, followed by a shoulder tackle. Sampson goes to the eyes to regain control and chokes him in the corner. Back inside, Sampson with an elbow for two. Sampsons meets an elbow on a charge attempt, and it's time for Wolfe to make the babyface comeback, mostly consisting of elbows. Wolfe with a back suplex, but instead of going for the cover, he goes after the manager, allowing Stratus to cheap shot him with a GOLF CLUB, and Sampson covers for three at 6:30. Needing to cheat to defeat Dusty Wolfe? Yipes. Match was typical preliminary hell passed off as something worth watching.- Order the Chuck Wagon Gang's Best of Country Gospel! #12.98 for LP/Cassette's and $14.98 for CD's, PLUS $3.00 for shipping and handling.
- We end things with IWCCW and Chris Cruise telling us to be on the look out for a missing child... yes, that's not an incredibly horrible and depressing way to end your wrestling telecast. In what you might consider disturbing, I looked up the missing child and found that she was eventually found in 2006, 17 years after being abducted at the age of 1 by her dead-beat mother in the spring of 1989.
Final Thoughts: You know how dry this episode was for me to search a MISSING PERSON to fill out the recap? Atlas and Valentine was pretty awful, but not nearly as bad as the editing where they went to commercial and came back, rewound the tape by 2-minutes, and replayed it without batting an eye. The rest of the show is a match that seems to be recycled from the Mid 80's, a Joe Savoldi squash, the same match, different opponent, for Dr. Wildside, and Dusty Wolfe using a lot of elbows and knees. I still have enough steam in the engine to push through for the next week's episode, and then we'll see where we go from there.
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