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Sunday, December 17th 2017.
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AWF Warriors of Wrestling; Episode 7

by Scrooge McSuck

- Three months, to answer the question I ended the Episode #6 review in the series of AWF Warriors of Wrestling. Last we checked, we've got the Semi-Finals set for the Championship Tournament, feasturing Tito Santana vs. Tommy Rich and Chris Adams vs. Bob Orton Jr. I don't know what else to expect from this episode, as both matches are advertised as 6-round matches. I hope to God that will not be happening for one of those matches, but you never know with these scum bags.

- Terry Taylor and Mick Karch are calling the action. I have nothing here in terms of witty nicknames or smart-ass remarks. My apologies.

- Semi-Finals Tournament Match:
Tito Santana vs. "Luscious" Tommy Rich (w/ Rico Suave):

At least we're getting the bad match out of the way first. I guess the "master" of this footage isn't in the best condition, as the audio has a weird crackling noise going on. First time from all of these shows I noticed that imperfection. Santana makes out with an old lady at ringside. Yech! Lockup to start, and Rich quickly applies an overhead wristlock. Santana counters into a hammerlock, but Rich makes the ropes. Suddenly, Terry Taylor starts doing an impersonation of Ric Flair. Seriously, what is the point of these every week? At least Ric Flair had talent at age 50. Tommy Rich didn't have talent either, and the AWF is showcasing him, so let's not take shots at the older guys in WCW. Lockup to the corner, and Rich complains about a hair pull. Repeat the same spot. Lockup into the ropes, Santana blocks a sucker punch, then knocks Rich across the ring with a roundhouse right. Lockup, and Rich hammers away with elbows as the first round ends.

Round 2: Lockup and Santana slaps on a headlock. Irish whip, and Santana takes Rich over with an arm drag, then locks on the armbar. Rich tries to escape with a hip toss, but Santana keeps the hold applied until Rich makes it to the ropes. Back in the ring, and Santana hammers away. Whip to the corner, and Santana takes him over with a back drop for a two count, then slaps on a wristlock. Now it's back to the armbar. The camera pans to Suave, and he's always just standing there, looking bored. Rich escapes and sucker punches Santana, then connects with a neck breaker for a two count. Irish whip, and we get a double clothesline to end the round.

Round 3: Rich attacks immediately after the bell and pounds Santana to the canvas. Rich with a knee across the throat, but they're too close to the ropes for a count to be made. Rich stomps away, then chokes. Santana fights back, ramming Rich to the buckle for a two count. Whip to the corner, and Santana misses a charge, taking a mouthful of turnbuckle. Rich controls with boring punch-kick offense, and I notice Rich is bleeding. I've never heard of someone blading after being rammed into a turnbuckle pad, but whatever. Rich chokes Santana with his wrist tape, but misses a dropkick. Santana heads to the top rope, and misses a cross body. Rich connects with a DDT, but the round has already ended.

- We cut "backstage" to Ken Resnick, who interviews Gentleman Chris Adams about his upcoming Semi-Finals match. And with that, we head back to...

Round 4: Rich drops an elbow and slaps on a chinlock. Are you KIDDING me? Rich heads to the top rope, but Santana slams him off. Santana applies a sleeper hold, then suddenly the fat guy at ringside hops on the apron to distract the referee. Santana grabs his attention, then makes a pin attempt, only getting a two count. Suave passes something off to Rich (insert drug reference here), who quickly uses it on Santana. Suddenly, Sgt. Slaughter runs to the ring and steals it from Rich, allowing Santana to roll him up for the three count at 2:12 of Round 4. I know Slaughter got screwed in his match with Rich, but does anyone really care about redemption here? 1/2* Match was boring as shit.

- Ken Resnick is back already to interview Tito Santana. He's going to the Finals next week, looking to face the winner or Orton vs. Adams.

Nails vs. Jimie V.:

This one is NOT going to be pretty, and lets just hope it's really short. How did the AWF get away with calling him Nails? Nails hits the ring and chokes Jimie V. from corner to corner. Whip to the buckle, with hard over-sell. Nails scoops him up, and chucks him across the ring, then chokes some more. Irish whip, and Jimie V. attempts a sunset flip, but Nails choke lifts him up, and tosses him back down. Irish whip, and they botch something, so Nails chokes more. Irish whip, and Nails slaps on his choking sleeper hold, and that wins it at 2:07. At least Nails releases the hold before the decision is reversed. DUD Nails was never much to watch in the ring, but at least he looked like he fit the character of an insane ex-con. Nails ends up bringing a chair into the ring and bashes Jimie V. with it pretty good.

Hercules (w/ Shiek Adnan Alkahassie) vs. Lightning Rod:

I'm sure this is going to be better than a Nails squash. What is this, Wrestling Challenge circa 1992? Lockup into the corner, and Hercules gives a clean break. Hercules with a knee to the midsection, followed by clubbing blows. Whip to the corner, and Hercules follows in with a clothesline. Hercules with a series of chops. Herrcules attempts a slam, but Rod escapes and comes off the ropes with a pair of clotheslines. Rod hits the ropes and nails a jumping elbow, but Hercules kicks out before a count, then catches Rod coming off the ropes with a powerslam. Hercules finishes him off with a powerbomb at 2:09. 1/4* It was short, and that's all you can hope for. I noticed Hercules and Nails have the same generic villain music.

Semi-Finals Tournament Match:
"Gentleman" Chris Adams vs. Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Oliver Humperdink):

This might be a good match, but much like anything from this promotion, I won't hitch my cart to any horses. The winner of this faces Santana, so it should be no surprise who wins. Lockup into the corner, and they tussle over control until Orton hammers away with forearms. Adams fights back with his own before taking a boot to the midsection. They trade blows again, with Adams winning that one. Whip to the corner, and Adams misses a charge. Adams is aware enough to take Orton over with a snapmare, then slaps on a sleeper hold. Orton scoops Adams up for an atomic drop, but Adams blocks, then puts Orton down with an enziguri. Adams drops an elbow across the back of the head. Irish whip, and Adams connects with a clothesline, takes Orton over with another snapmare, then goes back to the armbar. Orton escapes with an arm drag and puts the boots to Adams. Orton attempts a suplex, but Adams blocks and takes Orton over with his own for a two count...

- Ken Resnick interviews Tommy Rich and Rico Suave, who complain about being screwed over by Sgt. Slaughter. No one cares,

Round 2: They feel each other out to start. Lockup into the corner, and Adams gives Orton a cheap forearm across the face. Orton boots him and catches him on the jaw with an elbow. Orton with a scoop powerslam, then drops a knee across the chin. Orton slaps on a front facelock and attempts to get a pinfall out of it, but no dice, Jim Rice. Adams bridges up, snapmares free, and goes back to the sleeper hold that he was rocking in Round 1. Orton takes it to the corner for a break, then a whip across the ring turns into an Orton clothesline by mistake. Orton scoops Adams up and drops him across the top rope. Orton rakes the face of Adams across the top rope, then drives a series of knees into the back. Orton slams Adams face-first into the canvas, then does the crappy Kevin Sullivan double stomp spot. Adams surprises Orton with a small package, but that only gets a two count.

Round 3: Lockup into the ropes, and they trade blows. Adams appears to have that won and connects with a super-kick. Orton uses the tights to throw Adams through the ropes. Orton keeps Adams out of the ring for a while, knocking him off the apron. Adams with a shoulder to the midsection and a sunset flup back into the ring, but Orton sits on him and uses the ropes for leverage tto get the three count at 1:30 of Round 3. LAME! *1/2 Wasn't a terrible match, but very slow and dragged at times. Plus I'm never a fan of crap finishes like that.

- Ken Resnick is back, this time with Bob Orton Jr. and Oliver Humperdink. Resnick takes a shot at Humperdink's shirt for the only laugh of the show. They have words for Tito Santana. I bet you can't wait for THAT Tournament Finale. Bob Orton had already beaten Koko B. Ware. If he beats Santana, will the WWF hire him back and give him a main event push? Only time will tell.

Final Thoughts: Ugly episode for the most part. Tommy Rich continues to bring everyone down into his level of terrible, Adams vs. Orton was horribly disappointing, even for two guys past their prime, and the two squash matches featured two of the most limited performers in the promotion. Just not a good show, and I'm not looking forward to 12 Rounds of Tito Santana vs. Bob Orton Jr. for the "World" Title, with a SPECIAL MYSTERY REFEREE. They won't tell us, so it can't be that good of a surprise. If it was, they'd tell us to make us watch instead of leaving us guessing. Until next time...

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