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AWF Warriors of Wrestling: Episode 10
by Scrooge McSuck
- We're officially half-way through the episodes that made its way to a 4-Disc DVD Release. Last week, the AWF started showing some focus on their Tag Team Division, and we're scheduled to see more of it on this episode, as well. Also, they are planting seeds for programs between Sgt. Slaughter and Tommy Rich, as well as (sigh), Tony Atlas and Nails. Will Tito Santana defend his newly won AWF Championship? Will we see the mighty team of Hercules and Mr. Hughes? Will I ever stop asking questions?!
- Ken Resnick and Chris E. do a spot in front of an awful Green screen before throwing it to Mick Karch and Terry Taylor, who then throw it to the ring, literally two seconds later.
Jim Powers & Johnny Gunn vs. Hubert Simpson & Ken McGuire:
Nice to see that Jim Powers' agent got him a paying gig... After 10 years of being a WWF scrub, he's finally found somewhere else to wallow in undercard hell. I'm sure I've mentioned Gunn's future, so I'll leave it at that. The two scrubs are both considerably out of shape and overweight, and a still image from this match is plastered on all four discs' menu page. Was it THAT good of a match? Powers with a headlock on McGuire, followed by a shoulder block. Michael P.S. Hayes with a Warrior's Corner promo. Why is he rambling during this, when last week he was throwing insults at Tito Santana? Powers really loves playing to the crowd, doesn't he? Gunn comes in and works the arm. Gunn lazily runs to the corner, does a lazy hip toss, and sets up for a dropkick for about 5 seconds, sending McGuire out of the ring. Gunn with a plancha to the scrub team, then more arm work. Simpsons tags in and gets taken down with a drop toe hold (D'OH!). Gunn works his arm, now, as Taylor makes fun of Homer Simpsons gut... that's HIS joke, not mine.Gunn misses a charge, and the round ends.
Round 2: Simpson attacks Gunn from behind, then tosses him out of the ring. Simpson with an AWFUL slam, then he hits the second rope splash most associated at the time with Vader, but that only gets a two count. Gunn continues to get worked over by "the Man in Pink." I'm surprised they haven't coined the nickname "Pink and Fat Attack." McGuire with a snapmare and rear chinlock. Gunn escapes, and takes McGuire down with a Russian leg sweep. Jim Powers gets the "hot" tag, and plays to the crowd... just fucking do something. Powers with a running knee lift, then some turnbuckle fun. Double Noggin-Knocker! Gunn tags in, and they do a SUCKY version of the Hart Attack, and it's finally over at 3:52 of Round 2. Awful, awful, awful... Okay, it wasn't THAT bad, but it still sucked. Why give two scrubs so much offense, when you're supposed to put over this randomly put together team, and NOT playing up that they are randomly put together.
- Chris E. is standing by with Jim Powers and Johnny Gunn. Chris E.'s BIG question... why was Johnny Gunn flirting with jail bait in the front row? Oh my GOD, Chris E's skills remind me of those awful Tough Enough promos where the kids have no clue what they're doing. Before Powers can say much, she cuts him off for being out of time. So... they're going that route, after ONE MATCH? And if you don't know what I mean, you clearly have not watched wrestling, ever.
Nails vs. Night Train Jackson:
Yay, a Nails match. Just what I needed. Taylor brings up the Atlas/Nails stuff, again. I hope we don't see a singles match between those two. Nails chokes Jackson back into the corner, and the crowd is forced to boo. I LOVE the planted sign in the crowd, which even includes the numbers that are printed on Nails' jumpsuit. NO FAN EVER would/could remember that. Jackson mounts some offense, but Nails no-sells and knees him in the midsection. Nails no-sells some clotheslines, and I never realized how big he is (Nails). Nails brings Jackson back into the ring with a delayed suplex, but is too lazy to drop down with him. Irish whip, and Nails slaps on his sleeper choke, and it's all over at 2:28. Jackson gave up faster than... nevermind, I'm not going there. At least it was moderately short, but where was Tony Atlas to scare some sense into Nails?!
- Ken Resnick is standing by with President Paul Alperstein. Resnick brings up how more tame Nails appeared to be, after frequent fines for his actions. I guess choking someone for a minute is tamer than choking them for two minutes. That's pretty much the whole segment. I guess it's nice of them to point something out that Karch and Taylor did throughout the entire match.
"Gentleman" Chris Adams vs. Sonny Rogers:
It's been a few weeks since Adams last appeared, and yes, I've practically hinged all my hope on a decent match on Adams, because this promotion did not feature a lot of particularly entertaining performers. Lockup into the ropes, and Adams breaks clean. Adams works the arm while the broadcasters put over his performance in the Tournament. Ambassador Steve Casey (who?) is a NEW AWF Wrestler from England, and claims he's the champion of Europe. I'm sure D'Lo Brown would take offense to that. Rogers with knees to the midsection, followed by the Stone Cold Stunner?! Rogers with a back breaker and crowd taunting, before covering for a two count. Adams practically no-sells, and hammerlock slams Rogers for being a punk. Adams with a cross armbar, but Rogers makes the ropes to break. Adams with a back suplex, followed by a super kick, and that's all she wrote at 2:45. Well, that was a solid three minute match, compared to the rest of the show, so far. Will Chris Adams challenge Tito Santana? Will AMBASSADOR Steve Casey battle Adams in a European Rampage?
- Ken Resnick is standing by with Gentleman Chris Adams. Adams offers to take his hat off to new champion Tito Santana, but he's not wearing a hat. Adams yells at Oliver Humperdink, putting emphasis on the DINK part. Adams refuses to talk about AMBASSADOR Steve Casey... yet. OOOOOOOOOOH!!!
Hercules & Mr. Hughes (w/ Sheik Adnan Alkahassie) vs. Billy Jo Eaton & Rick Rocket:
More Tag Team Action, and no, I did NOT know in advance we would be seeing this team, but it seemed very obvious unless they decided to trot out a new team. Hercules shoves Eaton down hard (no relation to Bobby, of couse), and Taylor calls Eaton a less-bulked up Jimmy Powers. What an awful insult! Whip to the corner, and Hercules follows in with a clothesline. Irish whip, and Eaton with a couple of crummy dropkicks. Hercules avoids a third, then nails Eaton with his own, barely making contact. Hughes tags in, and pounds away. Irish whip, and Hughes with a dropkick to the FORHEAD! That was awesome, and that's not sarcasm. Rocket unfortunately gets the tag in, and gets murdered, too. Hercules tags back in, and catches Rocket off the ropes with a powerslam. Hughes tags in, and a sidewalk slam finishes Rocket ff at 3:17. Eaton runs in, and gets tossed out by Hercules for his efforts. Moron. Just a squash match, and it didn't drag on as I feared it would.
- Ken Resnick is standing by again, this time with Alkahassie and his Deadly Duo of Hughes and Hercules. General Adnan sure does remind me a lot of Freddie Blassie, when he was managing the Iron Sheik, and dressing up as a goofball, calling himself Ayatollah Blassie.
"The Z-Man" Tom Zenk vs. Hulk Elliott:
Taylor gives a Hulk Hogan impersonation, even doing the deep, weezing breaths between sentences. Lockup, and Zenk (I'm not going to run with the terrible mispelling of his name) with a clean break. Lockup, and Zenk slaps on a side headlock. Zenk with a pair of dropkicks, followed by a snapmare and kick to the back. Z-Man with a hip toss from out of the corner, followed by a standing dropkick. Whip to the corner, followed by a crappy heel kick from Zenk. Zenk with the Dudley Dog, and it's over at 2:14. Another squash match, but it's nice to see some fresh blood, even if it's Tom Zenk. I'm not 100% sure, but I don't think Zenk made many, if any, appearances in any of the big promotions after this.
- Ken Resnick brings in the Z-Man, Tom Zenk, an old friend. Zenk mentions not seeing him for 8 years... WOAH! Remember when Resnick would interview the Can-Am Connection on episodes of Superstars and Wrestling Challenge? Well, Tom Zenk sure does!
- Chris E. is standing by with the jail bait that got a hug, kiss, and sweaty arm-band from Johnny Gunn. Chris E. continues to "impress" with her interviewing skills. This girl, Cindy, gets to meet Johnny Gunn again after reading some obvious scripted lines, and I feel like someone should be calling the proper authorities.
"Cowboy" Bob Orton Jr. vs. Chad Miller:
Where's Sir Oliver HumperDINK? I guess he needed the week off, or something. Orton gives the crowd the business before the match gets underway. Lockup into the ropes, and Orton with a forearm. Orton with a scoop slam, as we get a promo from the Warrior's Corner with NEW AWF Champion, Tito Santana. Miller with some crappy rights. Orton misses a charge to the corner, and goes flying over the top rope. Miller with more awful punching and a scoop slam. Orton with a knee to the face on a charge attempt, and the piledriver ends this thing pretty quickly at 2:33. Orton tells the referee to look over there, and does the Zeus neck-twist move on Miller afterwards. Orton didn't even break a sweat for this one.
- More with Ken Resnick, and he brings in Bob Orton Jr. Orton is wondering why Santana isn't around to defend the title, and demands a Championship rematch. Bob Orton accuses Santana of having his buddy Jim Brunzell favor him in their match, and wants a REAL referee to officiate the contest.
Final Thoughts: I'm having a hard time focusing my thoughts on positive or negative, just because it's basically on par with the weekend shows that WWF and WCW did, except this was their ONLY show, and thus are never presenting, or are rarely offering, matches between established performers. It's nice to see fresh blood introduced, and I guess they are now going to work on an Adams/Casey program, but I don't know how much longer I can call anything a program, when no one is wrestling the person they are allegedly feuding with. Nothing was really hyped for the next show, so it's going to be a fun mystery to see what we get.
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