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WCW Saturday Night – August 28, 1999

by Scrooge McSuck

Dean Freakin Malenko

(Originally written on 09.27.2018)

- WCW taping information isn't nearly as plentiful as WWF, so the best I can guess was these matches were taped on the 17th in Casper, WY. Just a guess, so don't take it as 100% fact. With matches so short, unless something is spectacularly bad or exceptionally good, I'm not going to go with star ratings. I think the tone of the recaps should say enough on this one.

- Hosted by Scott Hudson and Mike Tenay. At least it's two people who give a crap.

"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Dave Taylor:

Who would've guessed either man would've had WWE runs nearly a decade later? Duggan was 45 and Taylor 42 at the time of this event, making it even more unusual for the era. Tenay says Duggan has evolved (or devolved) into "Mr. Saturday Night." What glowing praise from the Professor. Hudson makes a remark that if only this were 1774, we'd get a recreation of the Revolutionary War. Insert your own age joke here. They do the world's sloppiest lock-up into the corner, where Taylor unloads with forearms. Duggan pops out of the corner with a clothesline and knocks Taylor over the top rope, long after that would be a DQ in WCW. Taylor drags Duggan to the follow and gets sent to the post for being too aggressive. Duggan S-L-O-W-L-Y crawls through the ropes, allowing Taylor to wake up from his coma and beat on him again. Duggan wastes no time in no-selling and drops him with one punch for a near-fall. Taylor avoids a shoulder tackle into the corner and signals THUMBS DOWN, MTHERF*CKER… and grabs a chin-lock. Wow. Just, WOW. Duggan makes his 4th comeback of the match, hitting Taylor with mounted right hands. Whip to the ropes and Duggan with a slam. He sets up in the corner, hits the big clothesline, and follows with the Old Glory knee drop for three at 4:06. What a train-wreck… and I enjoyed every second of it.

- Hudson runs down Sid's path of destruction and his winning streak. How long is it? "Sid doesn't know, nobody knows." SHOOT, BROTHER!

Disco Inferno vs. Bobby Blaze:

Whenever I look at Disco, I just can't forget he headlined some early TNA shows as a #1 Contender to the WORLD TITLE. Before the match, Disco puts himself over (and uses the now dated "living la vida loca line, and EVEN MORE DATED "pretty fly for a white guy"). I can honestly say I've never seen one Bobby Blaze match until now. Disco's sneak attack fails, and Blaze drops him with an elbow. Disco forces Blaze into the ropes and cheap shots him. Blaze returns the favor and hits a soft springboard back breaker for two. Disco gets the elbow up on a charge and snaps him down with a handful of hair. Disco with a Russian leg sweep and flying elbow drop for two. Tenay and Hudson hype DDP vs. Goldberg on the upcoming Nitro, a rematch from last year's Halloween Havoc. Disco slows things down with a chin-lock. I guess working 5-minute matches is too hard without resting. Blaze comes out of nowhere with a back slide for two. Disco turns him inside-out with a clothesline for two. Blaze with a sunset flip for two. He plants Disco with a slam and drops the elbow for two. Disco thumbs the eyes but Blaze no-sells and hits a series of knees to the face for two. Blaze meets the buckle on a dive and Disco finishes with the Last Dance at 4:24. Yes, a mid-card goof was using the Stunner. This match made me want more Duggan vs. Taylor.

- Hype video for Berlyn. "Know victory, No defeat." OK. Berlyn is a repacked Alex Wright, for those who didn't follow WCW too closely.

Lash LeRoux vs. Vampiro:

Does anyone know what happened to LeRoux? Seems like he fell off the face of the wrestling world in 2003. Look for another car-wreck here. I guess there's a story here where LeRoux mocked Vampiro (he's sporting similar eye makeup), so Vampiro is out for revenge. Tenay promotes a CD from WCW and the Insane Clown Posse. Vampiro opens the match with a flying spinning heel kick. LeRoux can only blame himself for being in position to take that out of the gate. Vampiro with headbutts and a lariat. LeRoux tries trading blows but Vampiro gets the better of that and hits a spinning front kick to the chest. LeRoux is a CRUISERWEIGHT? He's so doughy! Vampiro with a clothesline in the corner, followed by a body press. Vampiro with a Super-Kick, and LeRoux has a hard time bumping over the top rope, having to basically throw himself over. Vampiro to the top, almost losing his balance, and hits a flying body press on the floor. LeRoux clotheslines Vampiro off the top rope and hits a flying head-scissors. Vampiro sells boots to the face like he's drunk. Whip and LeRoux with a twisting sit-out Powerbomb for two. LeRoux unloads with rights, does a GOOFY F'N DANCE, and turns Vampiro inside-out with a clothesline. Vampiro makes his comeback and connects with a sloppy top rope Franken-Steiner. He plants LeRoux with the uranage and finishes with the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) at 6:05. Sloppy, but watchable, I guess.

- Buzz Stern is standing by to lecture some geeks. It's a repackaged Glacier playing the role of Coach Buzzcut from Beavis and Butt-Head. Looking deeper into it, it's a way to introduce Luther Biggs to television, and we all know where that goes (oh wait, we don't. The guy never did anything of note).

- Recap of the West Texas Rednecks beating Harlem Heat for the Tag Team Championship.

The Public Enemy vs. Horace & Vincent:

Oh my God, THANK YOU for what I'm about to receive. Vincent is the former Virgil, and Horace is Hulk Hogan's nephew. This is going to be SO, SO bad. The nWo B-Team LIVES! We get a brawl to start. Whip and the Public Enemy slam their opponents faces into the canvas. Vincent and Horace regroup on the floor. Horace tags Grunge with rights and stomps him down in the corner. Whip to the corner and he follows in with a clothesline. Grunge gets the elbow up on the second try and hits the ropes for a swinging neck breaker. Whip and P.E. with a double elbow and elbow drop. Horace regains control, DOING THE SAME SEQUENCE HE DID WITH GRUNGE. Rocco Rock plays face-in-peril. Vincent with a single-arm DDT that spikes Rocco on his head. That takes skill to botch. Vincent with a slam. Rocco teases a comeback but whatever the hell was going for from the top rope is countered with a Powerbomb for two. Rocco gets the knees up on a splash attempt and hot tags Grunge. Whip and a flap-jack on Virgil almost drops him on his head, too. How hard is it to do these spots?! Horace gets laid across a table, but Vincent saves, hitting Rocco Rock with an electric chair drop. Rock counters a suplex with a small package and that ends this disaster at 5:47. My one-word critique of the match: Sloppy as f*ck.

- West Texas Rednecks "Good Ol' Boys" music video. It's no Rap is Crap, that's for sure, but it's sure and inoffensive.

- "Mean" Gene Okerlund is standing by with some WCW Hotline teasers. If you want the behind the scenes details, you MUST CALL THE HOTLINE. There's going to be a new Pay-Per-View at the end of 1999, as well! Call 1-900-909-9900. Man, that number was their go-to hotline number for years. The mysterious PPV ended up being scrapped, by the way.

"Bad" Barry Horowitz vs. Meng:

YES! MENG! Come on, WCW, just call Horowitz "Bad Boy" so I can make a Smoky Mountain Wrestling reference to Horowitz's nickname. Horowitz pats himself on the back and gets laid out with a chop. Meng tosses Horowitz into the corner and chokes away. Whip, Horowitz slides between the legs, and knocks Meng back with a dropkick. Meng no-sells the European uppercut and knocks him silly with another chop. Meng with more choking, this time across the middle rope. This is a public murder. Whip across the ring and Meng charges in with a brutal clothesline. Horowitz rakes the eyes and comes off the ropes with an elbow. Meng no-sells and hits a Super-Kick, then finishes with the Tongan Death Grip at 3:21. Hudson pleads for mercy on behalf of Horowitz. Meng might've been the most well-protected mid-carder of all-time. "Meng is back and back to his winning ways."

- WCW Fall Brawl is brought to us by 10-10-220. Remember long-distance phone call scams? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

- The KISS Demon debuted during a live performance of KISS on Monday Nitro that TANKED in the ratings. I'm still not sure if Brian Adams (Formerly Crush in WWE) was the Demon for the TV Debut.

B.A. & Swoll (w/ 4x4) vs. Hugh Morrus & Jerry Flynn (w/ Jimmy Hart):

SWOLL? 4x4? B.A.?!?! My head is exploding with all this randomness. B.A. and 4x4 are a couple of No Limit Soldier recruits with alleged ties to Master P, and B.A. is ANOTHER repackaging for Mr. Brad Armstrong (formerly The Candyman, Badstreet, and Arachnaman among other lame names). Did you know that Swoll (Randy Thornton) was on the Denver Broncos from 1988-1990? With the Dungeon of Doom long dead, Hart is now managing "The First Family", and yes, JERRY FLYNN is a protégé to him. Morrus and Swoll start. This could get ugly. They do a crisscross and Swoll connects with a clothesline. Morrus rakes the eyes and kicks Swoll low. "Lightning Foot" Jerry Flynn comes in to lay some kicks in. Swoll staggers into the corner, doing his best to act like he's selling. Whip to the corner and Flynn with a spinning heel kick. Morrus with a slam and elbow drops. Swoll surprises Flynn with a sunset flip for two. We get the fake hot tag spot where referee Charles Robinson is easily distracted. Twice. Morrus and Flynn with a spinning heel kick version of the Hart Attack. Swoll rolls away from a splash and finally tags in B.A. He runs wild with forearms on both men. Hart jumps in from the top rope but 4x4 catches him in a bear-hug. Brian Knobbs runs in with a chair, whacking 4x4, and it's a DQ at 6:15. A CHAIR SHOT TO A MAN NOT LEGALLY IN THE MATCH. Surprisingly adequate until the stupid finish.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Norman Smiley:

This is a good case of random goodness, as long as Juventud doesn't botch everything he does. Juventud mocks Smiley's "Big Wiggle", leading to a shoving match. Lockup and Smiley hooks the cravat. He transitions into a side headlock and comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Smiley with elbows to escape a waist-lock, but Juventud takes him down with a wheel barrow bulldog. Juventud with chops and a thumb to the eye. Crisscross and Smiley with the wind-up slam, followed by some dancing. He gets a little too into it and gets cradled for a near-fall. Smiley regains control, hooking the arm. Whip and an elbow for two. Juventud teases a comeback but gets caught with a tilt-o-whirl back breaker for a near-fall. Smiley with the double under-hook delayed slam and he signals for the Big Wiggle. Smiley with headbutts and a snap mare. Juventud gets a boot up in the corner and takes Smiley over with a spinning head-scissors. He unloads with corner mounted punches and snaps Smiley across the top rope. Smiley blocks the flying sunset flip. They do a series of counters until Juventud hits the Juvy Driver for three at 6:19 (after botching the first attempt). Wow, a GOOD match. I didn't think I'd see one on this episode.

- Coach Buzz Stern is still yelling at people in the weight room.

Mona vs. Dee Dee Venturi:

You don't see many women's matches on WCW television. Ever. I don't know much about Venturi, but Mona is of course better known as Molly Holly in WWE. Mona works the match barefoot for whatever reason. At least they didn't force her to work in a gown. Lockup and Mona with an arm drag into the arm-bar. Venturi escapes and chokes against the ropes. Whip, Mona flips through a side slam and takes Venturi over with a head-scissors. She takes too long playing to the crowd and gets laid out with a clothesline. Venturi sends her to the turnbuckle and hooks a hanging chin-lock from the top turnbuckle. Venturi with a bulldog and more choking. Whip and a VERY relaxed hip toss. Mona might as well be wrestling herself on that spot. Mona with a surprise cradle for two. Venturi remains in control, slamming Mona's face into the canvas. Mona with a leg sweep and rolling cradle for two. Venturi misses a charge into the corner. Mona lays into her with chops and takes her over with a snap suplex for two. Whip and Mona with a victory roll for three at 3:49. It wasn't that good (call it the second-best match of the night, which isn't saying much), but how dare they go out here and try to put effort into the match!

Steve & Scott Armstrong vs. The Revolution:

Wow, did WCW have all the Armstrong's (sans Brian, the Road Dogg in WWE) under contract this late in the game?! I know they're enhancement talent, but this is another example of wasting money on too much talent. Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko are representing The Revolution and are playing babyfaces. I guess it's after Benoit leaves the group is when they turn heel. Douglas and Scott Armstrong start. Lockup and Douglas goes after the arm. He connects with a gourd buster and hits a reverse rolling neck snap. Steve tags in, looking nothing like he did as a member of the Southern Boys, and gets taken over with a double suplex. Malenko with the Cloverleaf, but Scott distracts him long enough for Steve to recover and lay him out with a clothesline. Whip and the Armstrong's with a double elbow and axe-handle smash. Steve hooks a Full Nelson, but he doesn't lock the hands. Malenko's comeback is cut short as the Armstrong's control with more fluid double-teaming. Scott knocks Douglas off the apron with a dropkick. Malenko with a surprise sunset flip for two. They fight for a waist-lock until Malenko connects with the back suplex. Douglas with the hot tag, laying into the Armstrong's with rights. Whip and a power-slam on Scott for two. Scott comes back with a Super-Kick. Malenko pulls Steve out of the ring and Douglas finishes with the Pittsburgh Plunge (Fisherman-Buster) at 5:36. Good for what time they had. Post-match, Perry Saturn and Chris Benoit join Douglas and Malenko in celebrating their victory.

Final Thoughts: This was a dumpster fire show with random matches and a lot of poor-quality wrestlers until the last few matches where it seemed like everyone gave half-a-crap. Nothing on Saturday Night meant anything to the big picture of Nitro (or even Thunder), so it's the WCW version of Sunday Night Heat or any other WWF B-Show from the same era: a place for mid-card guys and gals to get some work in.

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