WCW Monday Nitro - October 9, 1995
by Scrooge McSuck
- Last week on Monday Nitro, we were presented a double Main Event! Lex Luger saved his WCW career by defeating Randy Savage with a little help from that big, stinky Giant. Ric Flair and Arn Anderson went to a finish so confusing, I don't know if Flair won by Submission or Count-Out. Last and certainly not least, the dignity of Hulk Hogan was raped as the Dungeon of Doom shaved his mustache. What would Little Jimmy waiting for a Double Lung Transplant think of what happened to his hero in Red and Yellow?!
- Over on Monday Night Raw, a hot 6-Man Tag Team Match between Shawn Michaels, Diesel, and The Undertaker against Owen Hart, Yokozuna, and Davey Boy Smith ended with not only Diesel doing a pinfall job to the Bulldog to set up the God AWFUL 4th In Your House PPV, but the Undertaker was written out of TV with a brutal beat down from the two fat fucks to cover up his orbital-bone surgery, an injured sustained at the hands of Mabel. Mabel sure was hurting a lot of people around this time. Also featured was Makin' a Difference Fatu getting a clean victory over Bodydonna Skip. 1 for 2 isn't bad.
- LIVE! From Chicago, IL, with Eric Bischoff, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, and Steve "Mongo" McMichael calling the action and making awful jokes, unless otherwise noted. They're all wearing custom Chicago Bears jerseys to suck up to locals. Yes, I'm aware of Mongo being a former member of DA Bears. Sting makes his way to the broadcast position and promises to solve the differences between Lex Luger and Randy Savage. Such a nice guy.
WCW United States Championship Match:
Sting © vs. The Shark:
I've seen enough Sting/John Tenta matches since the Fall of 1994 to know this will suck regardless of time. The Shark has a THIRD hometown, and it might be the worst yet. He's been introduced from 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea and The Great Barrier Reef... now he's just from TSUNAMI. What the fuck is that for a hometown? Shark attacks Sting before he can get in the ring and attacks. A Shark Attack, if you will. He plants Sting with a Powerslam and comes off the ropes with an elbow and leg drop for two. Shark misses a charge to the corner. Sting with the Stinger Splash, a second Stinger Splash, and a flying body press for three at 1:18. DUD, just because it's too short to rate. This was probably the best match they had, which should not come across as a compliment.
- We recap what happened last week between Hulk Hogan and that big, stinky, nasty, Giant.
Sabu vs. Mr. J.L.:
Talk about the most uncreative name for someone ever. Mr. JL. Underneath the mask is Jerry Lynn (JL. Get it?!). This is Sabu's second appearance on Nitro, his first nearly a month ago in a clusterfuck with Alex Wright. Sabu attacks from behind, unloading with rights. He plants JL with a slam and somersaults from the apron with a leg drop. He springs off the middle rope with a heel kick for two. Whip is reversed and JL comes off the ropes with an elbow. Loud "Hogan Sucks" chant, for whatever reason. JL sends Sabu to the floor and follows with a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Sabu comes off the ropes with a spinning heel kick. He follows JL to the apron with a somersault plancha, knocking JL into the security rail. Sabu grabs a chair and launches himself into J.L. with another heel kick. Back in the ring, JL surprises Sabu with a German Suplex for two. JL follows Sabu into the corner with a running dropkick. Sabu practically no-sells and comes off the ropes with a clothesline. He springs off the top rope with a moonsault and locks on a modified Camel Clutch, but JL grabs the ropes. JL fights Sabu off the top rope and connects with a hanging DDT for two. JL to the top rope, Sabu crotches him along the buckle. The hurricanrana misses, but he recovers to counter a hurricanrana with a Powerbomb, and the Camel Clutch finishes at 4:27. I don't know if that last spot was blown, but they recovered nicely, regardless. **1/2 Total spotfest, but fun. The problem with Sabu matches comes down to how many spots he's blown, and lucky for us, everything hit here, and Jerry Lynn boosted his game. Post-match, Sabu gives him a sunset flip Powerbomb on the floor, because he can.- "Mean" Gene Okerlund is in the ring with Sting and Lex Luger, who is not dressed to wrestle. Sting calls out Randy Savage, and he's going to try and be the peace-maker. Someone in the front row is holding up one of those old Tonka WWF Wrestling Buddies of the Macho King. Savage wants to know why Sting has avoided the wrath of the Giant... Sting's right, Savage is paranoid and insecure. Sting has a proposal for Halloween Havoc... if Savage can beat Kamala, and if Luger can beat Meng, then they should face each other again to settle things. Savage is for it, but Luger is a bit reprehensible. Sting calls him out and is tired of being a babysitter, and guilts Luger into accepting the challenge. How WCW didn't do Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs. Sting and Lex Luger in the months following is just mind boggling.
- Arriving in WCW... Chris Benoit.
- The Disco Inferno is here and he's dancin'! DISCO FEVER! DISCO FEVER! DISCO FEVER! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH! He's a Disco Dancin' Fool! I love this guy! Hawk's entrance interrupts the fun.
Road Warrior Hawk vs. Big Bubba Rogers:
This is our first appearance of Hawk on WCW Nitro. I never really got his singles run in 1995. I know Animal was on the shelf/milking an insurance claim/whatever, but what does Hawk on his own bring to the table? Bubba attacks before the bell with rights and kicks. Whip to the corner and he follows in with an avalanche. Hawk blocks being sent to the buckle, so Bubba continues the clubberin'. Hawk meets boot on a charge, but no-sells and takes Bubba over with a Powerslam. Disco Inferno is at ringside, and he's dancin' on the apron. Hawk rips away at his shirt and chases him up the aisle, knocking him silly with a clothesline... and it's a lame Count-Out at 1:39. DUD Not worth a rating because it was too short, but what pointless filler.- "Mean" Gene Okerlund brings out the WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Hulk Hogan, sans mustache. Gone is the Red and Yellow. He's dressed in all black, months before his heel turn and the formation of the New World Order. He's going to stoop to the levels of the Dungeon of Doom. He continues calling the Giant no good, nasty and stinky... seriously, what's with constantly calling him stinky? Hulk gives a promo about the history of Hulkamania and makes a not-so-subtle reference to a "promoter" in the New York area. I'm assuming he's talking about the Savoldi's and IWCCW. This went on way too long, and we're rapidly running low on time.
Steel Cage Match: Ric Flair vs. Arn Anderson:
This is our Main Event for the week, and talk about giving away yet another match that could sell a PPV. With about 6-7 minutes of television time remaining (excluding one remaining commercial), it's an even bigger waste. That is one small cage, maybe 7 feet tall, at best. There's no way there's going to be interference with a structure of that magnitude! Anderson with a knee to the midsection, but Flair blocks a cage shot and lays into Arn with chops and rights. Whip to the corner is reversed and Arn takes him over with a back drop. Flair gets sent face-first into the cage, and Arn proceeds to stomp away. Commercial break, and we return with Anderson planting Flair with his signature spinebuster. We get split-screen footage from the commercial break, including Arn being crotched along the top rope. Now it's Arn's turn to taste the steel. I don't expect any blading, it's 1995. Flair drops him with a clothesline, then takes him over with a delayed suplex. Flyin' Brian shows up and easily scales the cage, only to get knocked off, to the floor. Flair with a double axehandle from the top rope! He scoops the leg, connects with an atomic drop, and goes for the Figure-Four, but Arn blocks and appears to KO Flair with a foreign object, and it's enough for the three count at 4:22. *1/4 Just a waste of time to advertise these two, inside of a steel cage no less, and giving them less than 5-minutes of TV time. Post-Match, Flair hijacks Bischoff's headset and challenges Arn and Pillman to a match, NEXT WEEK. With, or without, a partner of his own.- Next Week on Monday Nitro: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Johnny B. Badd for the Television Title, the debut of Chris Benoit against Eddy Guerrero, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Meng, and in the Main Event, Ric Flair and maybe a Partner vs. Arn Anderson and Flyin' Brian. They really need to cut out one of the undercard matches with only 45 minutes of television, taking away commercial breaks.
Final Thoughts: Underwhelming show from start to finish. The highlight of the night was a watered-down ECW-style spotfest between Sabu and the cleverly named Mr. J.L., but the rest? The Main Event was rushed and pointless, and the remaining undercard matches were roughly 90-seconds each, were clearly rushed, and served no purpose other than to cram too many people into a one hour timeslot. Hulk Hogan's nonsense with turning to the Dark Side of Hulkamania is another "whatever, it's Hogan" moment, and we're still teasing Luger vs. Savage, when it's pretty damn clear that Luger is going to be a heel. Raw wasn't much better with in-ring quality (the 6-Man was stacked, but long and only two of the men involved were motivated), but felt more important towards building to the next show. Give it to Raw for the week, but barely.
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