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WCW Clash Of The Champions XIV: Dixie Dynamite!

by Scrooge McSuck

- Courtesy of the WWE Network, originally presented LIVE on TBS on January 30th, 1991, from the Georgia Mountains Center in Gainsville, GA. Jim Ross and the recently returned AMERICAN DREAM DUSTY RHODES are calling the action, unless otherwise noted. Weekly television hyped the hell out of the WCW World Championship Match and the Intergender Arm-Wrestling Contest, but let’s see what else is going to be offered up.

WCW World Tag Team Championship Match:
Doom © vs. Sting & Lex Luger:

No Theodore Long tonight, for whatever reasons. Notice how Sting, poster-boy of the company and Champion for years to come, jobs the belt a few weeks back at a house show in Meadowlands, NJ, and gets a meaningless tag team match that has zero backstory. Sting and Reed start. Long lockup until Reed takes over with a cheap shot. Whip to the ropes and Sting comes back with a hip toss, followed by a back drop and arm drag. Luger with a double axehandle from the second turnbuckle. Criss-cross and Luger with a swinging neckbreaker. Simmons grabs a headlock, but a shoulder tackle doesn’t budge anyone. They exchange shoulder tackles, with Luger gaining the upper hand. Luger with a suplex for two. Whip to the ropes and Luger gets hung across the top rope. We return from a break (commercials mid-match? That feels wrong to me) with Luger mounting a comeback before being planted with a Powerslam. Reed comes in for a slugfest and comes out of nowhere with a dropkick. Reed to the top rope with his signature diving shoulder tackle, but it knocks Luger into his own corner, giving the hot tag to Sting. He unloads on both members of Doom, but here’s Dan Spivey to attack Luger on the floor! Doom have miscommunication, including bumping the referee. Sting goes for a body press, but ends up going over the top rope, and it’s a Disqualification at 7:47. Post-match, Luger and Sting clean house. *1/2 Not much to this. Luger spent the majority of it taking a beating from Doom, and then it’s the bull-crap finish.

- Missy Hyatt has the results for the WCW Sexiest Wrestler Contest… the Z-Man. This has been another pointless moment.

WCW Television Championship Match:
The Z-Man © vs. “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton:

Oh my God, I forgot about the awful canned cheering in Eaton’s entrance music. Speaking of awful, Tom Zenk has to defend the TV Title despite losing it at a taping earlier in the week. It’s not like WWF never did it, but WCW did it way more frequently and with lengthier periods between the taping and the broadcast dates. Poor Gary Capetta has to introduce as the Sexiest Man in WCW. Shoving match to start. Lockup into the corner and Zenk takes Eaton over with a hip toss. Eaton with a drop toe hold and side headlock takeover. Zenk counters with a head scissors and grabs a wristlock. Eaton goes for a hip toss, but Zenk counters with one of his own. They continue taking turns working the arm. Eaton tries to go high risk, but gets knocked off with a dropkick. Back inside, Zenk goes back to working the arm. They do a knuckle-lock, with Eaton taking cheap shots, of course. Whip to the ropes and Eaton with an elbow. Eaton goes to the top again, and gets slammed off. Whip to the corner and Zenk with a back drop for two. Whip to the corner, Eaton gets an elbow up and connects with a knee across the chest. Zenk with a small package for two. Eaton with his signature swinging neck breaker for two. Zenk counters a suplex attempt and rolls Eaton up for another two count. Whip to the ropes, Zenk blocks a hip toss and takes Eaton over with a back slide… for three at 7:08, despite Eaton getting the shoulder up. You don’t see a lot of back slide finishes. **1/2 Decent wrestling with a hot finishing sequence, but nothing to really go out of your way to see. Considering the talent involved, mildly disappointing.

Tommy Rich & Allen Iron Eagle vs. The Fabulous Freebirds:

I long for the day when I don’t have to recap another Freebirds match. Who the fuck is ALLEN IRON EAGLE? He looks like a generic Native American and I think he was introduced from Wacka Wacka, KS. Rich and Hayes start. Rich ducks under a clothesline and takes Hayes over with a Powerslam. Knee lift and slam to Garvin. Eagle tags in and mounts Garvin with rights. Whip to the ropes and they blow a spot pretty badly. Hayes in with a running bulldog, followed by a clothesline. Hayes with a snapmare and he settles in with a chinlock. Eagle escapes with a hip throw, but Hayes pops up and DECKS HIM right in the face. He tosses him to the floor and unloads with chops. Garvin with a snapmare and knee drop. Whip to the corner and Garvin follows in with a knee. Whip to the opposite corner, and this time Garvin misses a charge. Iron Eagle stomps away and then blows a slingshot spot with Hayes. Heck breaks loose. Iron Eagle blocks a suplex and counters with his own. Rich gets the tag, but the referee pretends he didn’t see it. Double DDT from the Freebirds, and Iron Eagle is done at 5:54. DUD Nothing but blown spots. Iron Eagle’s work made the Freebirds look like the Midnight Express. Rich was practically a non-factor.

- Paul E. Dangerously cuts a promo on Missy Hyatt. Tony Schiavone’s reaction to his rambling is some great physical comedy.

Jumpin’ Joey Maggs vs. Sid Vicious:

This probably won’t go long, considering Maggs is a scrub and Sid is the most brutal member of the Four Horsemen. Sid gets shown off on a rotating piece of the entrance ramp… and then introduced from Anywhere He DARN WELL PLEASES, so it’s 50/50 creative concepts. Lockup, Maggs grabs a headlock, and Sid easily throws him off. Sid with a double choke lift and a clothesline. Sid with forearms to the back and a clothesline to the back of the neck. Sid with the Powerbomb, and it’s all over at 1:12. No wonder I liked the guy as a kid. No Rating, just a basic squash. Sid calls for his personal EMT’s to take Maggs away, but he just throws him off the stretcher because he’s a jerk.

Ricky Morton vs. Terry Taylor:

It’s a face vs. face encounter. Earlier in the week, these two had a confrontation with Taylor saying wrestling Morton isn’t going to get him into title contention. Taylor is introduced as the Computerized Man of the 1990’s… wait, WHAT?! Lockup into the corner and a clean break. Taylor with a side headlock takeover, and Morton counters with a head scissors. They take turns working the arm with Morton getting the upper hand each time. Taylor with a headlock and a hip toss. Morton comes back with a series of arm drags, frustrating Taylor. Morton with a side headlock and takeover. They do a criss-cross, ending with a Morton body press for a two count. We return from a commercial, with Taylor working the arm. Morton escapes with a jaw buster. Morton goes for the arm, but Taylor lays him out with a clothesline. Morton remains in control, mostly working the arm. Suddenly Alexandra York makes her way to ringside. Taylor accuses Morton of signing with her, but comes from behind with a clothesline. We get an inset promo from York, announcing the acquisition of Taylor into the York Foundation. Back to the action, Taylor is working more smug. He comes off the ropes with a knee drop for two. Whip to the ropes and Morton with a surprise small package for two. Taylor thumbs the eyes and chokes across the middle rope. Running bulldog gets two. Taylor with a slam, but a splash off the ropes meets the knees. Morton mounts his comeback and takes Taylor over with a snap suplex for two. Whip to the ropes and Morton with a dropkick. He goes for another, but Taylor avoids it and covers for an easy three count at 8:33.

- Bill Apter is standing by to present Sting with the PWI Awards for Most Inspirational Wrestler of the Year and the Wrestler of the Year. How nice.

Ranger Ross vs. El Cubano:

Where did they dig Ranger Ross out from? He hasn’t been a regular on WCW programming since the end of 1989, unless I have the wrong notes. El Cubano is a masked Fidel Sierra. Cubano attacks at the bell with clubberin’ and a cross body press for a near fall. Ross with a pair of slams and a dropkick, sending Cubano to the floor. Back inside, Cubano with a snapmare and knee drop. They fight over a wristlock until Ross grabs an armbar. Cubano goes to the eyes and takes him over with another snapmare. Cubano with a suplex. He goes to the top rope and misses a splash. Ross sends him to the floor following a series of kicks. Ross comes back into the ring with a sunset flip and it’s enough for the three count at 3:06. ¾* I honestly don’t see the point of including this on the broadcast, except to waste 5-minutes that could’ve gone somewhere meaningful.

The Renegade Warriors vs. Arn Anderson & Barry Windham:

The Warriors are Mark and Chris Youngblood. Talk about a waste of Anderson and Windham. I’d much rather have seen them versus Sting and Luger, but we get this turd, instead. The Warriors attack before the bell, clearing the ring of the Horsemen. They slingshot Windham back in and nail him with a double headbutt, sending him right back out. Mark and Windham lockup into the corner. The Youngbloods control early on with clubberin’ offense. Chris tags in and lays into Anderson with chops. He grabs a headlock, but gets taken down with a drop toe hold. Anderson with a spinning toe hold, but Chris kicks him off and rolls him up for a near fall. Windham grabs a headlock, but gets sent to the ropes and knocked silly with a dropkick. Mark tags back in as the Youngblood’s continue to cheat outrageously for babyfaces. Chris tags in and gets spiked with Arn Anderson’s signature Spinebuster. Windham with a suplex for two. DDT for another two count. Chris teases a comeback, but Anderson interrupts it with an inverted atomic drop. The splash meets knees, and it’s hot tag time to Mark. The Youngblood’s dominate briefly, but Chris gets laid out with a lariat. Windham with the Super-Plex and Anderson covers for three at 7:30. * This was some basic formula stuff. The occasional offense from Windham and Anderson was great, but the Youngblood’s sucked.

- Highlights of a match from the Tokyo Dome between Stan “The Lariat” Hansen and Big Van Vader. They’ll face off in a rematch at the upcoming WCW PPV, Wrestle War ’91. Dumb story: as a kid, I thought Hansen’s chewing tobacco was poop. True story.

Flyin’ Brian vs. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker:

It amazes me how long of a career Parker had with WCW, as in-ring talent and someone that helped as a trainer. I guess you could call him WCW’s answer to Steve Lombardi. Except about two feet shorter. Lockup and a clean break. They do a knucklelock, and Parker instantly cheats by driving a knee into the midsection. Pillman comes back with a hip toss followed by a dropkick. He takes Parker over with an arm drag and hooks an arm-bar. Whip to the ropes and Pillman with a crucifix for a two count. Parker has some disgusting bruising all over his back. Pillman with a head scissors, sending Parker to the floor. He brings him back in with a slingshot and goes back to work on the arm. Dusty Rhodes talks about his son “Cody.” I wonder who that kid is. For no reason, Parker leaves the ring, allowing Pillman to follow with a dive from the top rope. OK, so it was a reason: random high spot. Back inside, Pillman finishes with a flying cross body at 3:19. * Another quasi-squash match in a series of them tonight.

Arm-Wrestling Challenge: Missy Hyatt vs. Paul E. Dangerously:

Weird angle between two non-wrestlers. Paul E. has been running around, talking down to Hyatt about how men are dominant over women, and that the only reason that she even has a job is… well, they never outright said it, but the innuendo was of a sexual nature. These two both did training videos, with Paul E. just running his mouth the entire time in his, while Hyatt actually worked out, with gratuitous shots of her… wrist and bicep. Ha, you thought something else, didn’t you?! Anyway, onto this segment. Paul E. acts big and bad, Hyatt shows off her cleavage in a tight spandex outfit, and Paul E. is left in shock and easily defeated. To be fair, it was nice cleavage, but come on, you don’t stare at an eclipse. You just take a peak. It was short, but I honestly don’t know where this goes from here, unless this was the pinnacle, and if so, it was a rather worthless angle.

- We get a random video from LT’s Sports Bar in East Ruthorford, NJ. LT being Lawrence Taylor, former Giants great, Hall of Famer, drug addict, and sexual predator. I guess the last two explains why he’s sitting at the heel table with Ric Flair, Barry Windham, Kevin Sullivan, Mike Rotundo, and Alexandra York. WCW did an angle with LT at one of the Meadowlands shows, but I don’t think it was anything worth mentioning.

WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Ric Flair © vs. Scott Steiner (w/ Rick Steiner):

This is our Main Event of the Clash of the Champions. Steiner is one half of the U.S. Tag Team Champions with his Brother, Rick, and obviously won’t be leaving here Champion… or will he? Hiro Matsuda, representing NJPW, is hanging around ringside. Also in attendance is El Gigante. I don’t know who I’m happier to see. Flair with trash talk to start. He shows off the guns, but Steiner isn’t afraid to show his off, either. Steiner grabs a headlock and comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. He picks the leg, but Flair’s in the ropes. Flair fights out of a headlock with an overhead wristlock, but Steiner is too strong. Back in the ring, Steiner sends Flair to the corner and takes him over with a back drop, followed by a side slam for a two count. Flair with chops. He grabs a headlock and comes off the ropes with a shoulder. Steiner comes back with a pair of arm drags and slaps on an arm-bar. They do some chain wrestling until Flair rolls to the floor in frustration. Back in, Steiner with a clothesline, and its right back out. Steiner brings him back in from the apron with a suplex and covers for two. Steiner with mounted punches until Flair counters with an inverted atomic drop. Flair hits the move a second time and tosses him to the floor. Scott pops back up and comes in with a sunset flip, but Flair counters with a straight right. Flair with a roll up, with feet on the ropes, but it only gets two.

We return from a commercial break, with Steiner taking Flair down with a drop toe hold and slapping on the Figure-Four! They’re too close to the ropes, eventually forcing a break. Whip to the ropes, Steiner ducks under an elbow, misses a clothesline, and a Flair body press takes them over the top rope. Steiner actually messed it up, and obviously jumps over on his own to follow Flair out. Flair with an atomic drop to the left knee as Capetta announces X-amount of time left. Back in the ring, Flair goes to work on the leg. He slaps the Figure-Four on in the center of the ring, and yes, he uses the ropes illegally for leverage. Referee Nick Patrick eventually sees it, forcing a break. Flair with a back suplex and he reapplies the hold. Steiner digs deep and turns the pressure over. Steiner with a neck breaker. Whip to the corner, Flair flips to the apron and falls to the floor. Steiner follows him out and connects with a clothesline. Back in the ring, Flair goes for another Figure-Four, but Steiner cradles him for two. Whip is reversed and Steiner grabs a sleeper. Steiner lets go and sends Flair to the floor with another clothesline. Flair with a snapmare and a knee drop for two. Flair keeps putting his foot on the ropes, but Rick won’t allow it to happen. Flair is in total defensive mode. Steiner bridges up out of a pin attempt and connects with a double-underhook powerbomb! Steiner comes off the ropes with a diving clothesline and mounts Flair in the corner with rights. Whip to the corner, Flair flips to the apron and climbs the ropes, only to leap into a clothesline. Steiner with a belly-to-belly suplex, but the bell rings at 21:43, with TV time expired. **1/2 Lame finish to a rather lethargic effort. They felt more like they were pacing for a much longer match. You have to believe they were going for the same result that came from putting Sting with Flair and pushing them to the limits, but this match didn’t feel like it was really going anywhere except to fill time.

Final Thoughts: Clash of the Champions has definitely seen better days. I thought XIII was pretty bad, but this wasn’t any better. The Main Event felt flat, and to be perfectly honest, that was the only match that was pushed hard. It really wouldn’t matter, as the undercard was mostly average work, with a handful of squashes peppered in. On top of the weak match quality, there was a head-scratchingly dumb mistake that gave away Terry Taylor’s heel turn that seems so bush league. It’s not like it was a slip of the tongue, the man was reading off a card, so someone instructed him to say it. The WCW train rolls on to Wrestle War ’91, one of the best WCW PPV’s ever, but that’s already been covered, so see you next time for SuperBrawl the First.

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